Black Star Cross

[Young Sage]

Welcome, visitors! Here is where you can discuss my story, Black Star Cross. Feel free to ask about any of the characters (you'd be surprised at what trivial information I have about even the minorest of characters), ask questions about the story (I reserve the right to either not answer questions or steer you in the wrong direction if, by answering them, I give out major plot points), or if you're confused about a certain section (I'll try to clarify as best as possible), or if you just want to comment on the story in general. I'll try to keep track of this thread as best as possible, and reply to stuff whenever I can. To encourage participation in here, I'll ask a question to all of you:

 

What was it about my story that drew you into reading it?

 

I hate summaries (as you'll see in the announcement section of the forum), and I know the summary I gave wasn't really original, so why give my story a chance? What caught your eye? What inside the first chapter made you think "Hmm...maybe this has promise."?

[acht-acht]

Welcome, visitors! Here is where you can discuss my story, Black Star Cross. Feel free to ask about any of the characters (you'd be surprised at what trivial information I have about even the minorest of characters), ask questions about the story (I reserve the right to either not answer questions or steer you in the wrong direction if, by answering them, I give out major plot points), or if you're confused about a certain section (I'll try to clarify as best as possible), or if you just want to comment on the story in general. I'll try to keep track of this thread as best as possible, and reply to stuff whenever I can. To encourage participation in here, I'll ask a question to all of you:

 

What was it about my story that drew you into reading it?

 

I hate summaries (as you'll see in the announcement section of the forum), and I know the summary I gave wasn't really original, so why give my story a chance? What caught your eye? What inside the first chapter made you think "Hmm...maybe this has promise."?

 

I loved the grumpy pissed off 1st person narrative - I have a soft spot for guys with the gift to hate everything and everybody. Anthony seems to have miltiple personalities so far, bully at school and painter/houseguest who

[NightOwl88]

I'm some what different then ole' Acht Acht up there in that I usually can't get into stories with a hate the world/angst attitude but Shawn won me over pretty quickly, his reasons for being all angry are somewhat real rather then his own mental fabrications. I have to say though that I like Anthony a bit more, with Shawn you already know what his issues are, or can guess fairly accuratly but with Anthony, bull, house painter, afraid of the dark. He deffinatly offers more mystery.

 

To be honest with you it was the title that drew me in first, then the summery but it was the first chapter that got me hooked. I can't wait for more.

 

Best Wishes,

NightOwl88.

[Nephylim]

I never actually read the summaries. I click on efiction and if I see there is something up I haven't read I read it. Of course if it is something I know I am not going to like I don't read but I am an insatiable reader and so unless it is poetry, which I am pretty certain I am not going to like I will read anything and try and give a completely honest opinion of what I think of it.

 

I liked this story because, as Night Owl said, there is something of an air of mystery about it. Anthony seems like a complex guy. He is one thing at school, another to Shawn out of school, another to those who employ him and another again when the storm hits. I am going to continue reading the story because I want to know more about him, he intersts me and that's what does it for me.... if I am interested in what is coming next I read on.

 

It would help if you got an editor thought to polish up the setting to the diamond of the story is shown off to its best advantage.

[Young Sage]

Thanks for replying guy and gals! To acht²: Anthony does seem to have many faces, but as a student who's about to earn his B.A. in Psychology in a few months, I must say that he does not have multiple personality disorder.

 

To NightOwl88: Don't count Shawn out just yet. I've still got plenty of tricks up my sleeve. His issues haven't been fully explained just yet. Anthony is a puzzle...a sexy, jock-ish puzzle. You have to place your piece into the right slot and...um...well, I forgot where I was going with that . The title has an interesting backstory; let's break it down. I, in no way, am trying to dissuade people from thinking that Shawn and Anthony are the main "couple" in this story, like many stories with only two named characters in it. So we get "Star Cross" from the Shakespearian phrase "star-crossed lovers," and since these two boys are rather reluctant to sex the other's brains out, we get "Black," which brings up a whole bunch of meanings. Why is it not, then, called "Black Stars Cross"? Well, because I thought the current title sounds better, rolls off the tongue better .

 

To Nephylim: ever since I could pick up a pencil and write (okay, maybe not that far back), I always had the policy of never describing characters nor settings, keeping them as vague as possible. The reason for this is simple: I want you, the reader, to imagine the characters however you want. Make them as hot or not as you want. Make one look like yourself or your worst enemy. I don't care. I've always found that when I read stories, no matter how detailed the author describes each character, I imagine them completely different in my head. So why not let my readers do the same? If Shawn was a red-head and you're not attracted to red-heads, would you really get aroused if he were to start having sex? Not as much if you prefer blonds and that were semi-canon. For settings, I wanted you, the reader (again), to imagine that this could take place in your own environment, your own town, your own school. Little clues will be offered here and there about both setting and character descriptions (such as how much hair Anthony has...down there...), so if you MUST have a reference point, they'll be there.

 

I implore you to read the summaries. Pretty please? They're...interesting, to say the least. Thanks again for the comments guy (and girls)! Keep them coming! And now, back to studying.

[NightOwl88]

The most recent chapter was very nice Young Sage. I really like the kind/mean dynamic you have going with Anthony, it builts great tension/anticipation. I liked the scene with Shawn and his mother, it was very real, a lot of scenes i've read along those lines are always missing some element of depth, yours worked really well.

 

Best Wishes,

NightOwl

[Young Sage]

Thanks, NightOwl! I'm glad you're commenting with both reviews and this forum thread. I wish more people were that generous. I'm glad the Shawn/mother scene felt real enough. I've never got into such an argument with my own mom, so writing it was challenging. Luckily, I'm eternally a teenager at heart, so I just let my inner teen write out the scene. Shawn is such a drama queen, isn't he?

 

Here's an interesting tidbit: the character Anthony is actually made up of four separate, real life guys I know.

[Fishwings]

Loved the ending of chapter one, also the beginning of Chapter three. Gave me a good laugh : ).

 

I agree with everyone above. Anthony's "duo personality" is pretty terrific, and I have to say, it's pretty representative of a lot of people in real life, who act one way when they're in their social cliques and another way when they're alone with others. And for some reason, his "lying" just makes him more the attracti-- I mean, douchey.

[Young Sage]

The whole reason why I wrote Black Star Cross was to counter all the bad fics I've read over the years, depicting unrealistic characters doing unrealistic things in unrealistic settings or situations. I wanted to make a story about normal guys, acting how a normal guy would act in typically normal settings (while still making it interesting). So I'm glad that you all are finding Shawn and Anthony (or at least Anthony, in FishWing's case) to be realistic. My hope is that you'll think of them as someone who could be in your school today. And then you'll all write fanfics about the two guys in your school that closest resemble Shawn and Anthony and never, ever show it to them.

[NightOwl88]

Thanks, NightOwl! I'm glad you're commenting with both reviews and this forum thread. I wish more people were that generous. I'm glad the Shawn/mother scene felt real enough. I've never got into such an argument with my own mom, so writing it was challenging. Luckily, I'm eternally a teenager at heart, so I just let my inner teen write out the scene. Shawn is such a drama queen, isn't he?

 

Here's an interesting tidbit: the character Anthony is actually made up of four separate, real life guys I know.

 

I'm far from generous Young Sage. I'm just an addict for feedback. I love getting in both the review and my threads so I figure why not do the same for the authors I read? Shawn is a drama queen but it fits.

[Young Sage]

Alright guys and estrogen-challenged girls, I'm officially on Spring Break! Unfortunately, I still have many school projects to work on during the break. Fortunately, I have plenty of time to do them. So hopefully this all means that I can spend a little more time on here, and I can actually READ some of the stories on here. Shocker, I know. I'll be going around, finding stuff that catches my interests, so you may find a sweet, little, old review from me in the near future.

 

And for something that actually contributes to this thread, some little known information. BSC is an epic story of over 9,000 50 chapters (sorry, couldn't resist). Shawn is allergic to soy sauce. It took until late into the story for me to figure out Anthony's last name. Anthony's favorite brand of beer is Budweiser. Shawn is older than most kids in his grade. Does ANY of this factor into the story at any point at all? Nope. I know so much about my characters (I refer to all my male characters collectively as "My Dudes") that doesn't go into my story, it's a little sad. Does anybody else do this? Make facts about their characters that theoretically only the author should know (stuff that doesn't make it into the story itself)?

[NightOwl88]

Alright guys and estrogen-challenged girls, I'm officially on Spring Break! Unfortunately, I still have many school projects to work on during the break. Fortunately, I have plenty of time to do them. So hopefully this all means that I can spend a little more time on here, and I can actually READ some of the stories on here. Shocker, I know. I'll be going around, finding stuff that catches my interests, so you may find a sweet, little, old review from me in the near future.

 

And for something that actually contributes to this thread, some little known information. BSC is an epic story of over 9,000 50 chapters (sorry, couldn't resist). Shawn is allergic to soy sauce. It took until late into the story for me to figure out Anthony's last name. Anthony's favorite brand of beer is Budweiser. Shawn is older than most kids in his grade. Does ANY of this factor into the story at any point at all? Nope. I know so much about my characters (I refer to all my male characters collectively as "My Dudes") that doesn't go into my story, it's a little sad. Does anybody else do this? Make facts about their characters that theoretically only the author should know (stuff that doesn't make it into the story itself)?

 

 

Ok well first of all, very nice chapter, although I am about to choke you if you don't explain about Shawns dad soon, I mean REALLY I love an unresolved emotional plot point as much as the next writer but DUDE your killing me here lmao. I like how you did this chapter, I mean you have to tear away everything from a charecte before you can build them into something/someone better right? I also loved the whole *phantom* lover thing you did with Anthony, I look forward to seeing how that gets resolved.

 

In answer your question about life/detail of charecters. I don't think i do this, I try to come up with as much detail as possible about them to make them seem real but without making them sound busy, if that makes any sense at all. Al though you to DO pose some interesting ideas, small stuff that I've never considered, allergies for instance, is something I've never considered writing into a charecter, but I think I'll consider it lol.

 

As to getting some reading done I can't make many suggestions as to the Hosted Authors, having not had the time to get to them, but in efiction there are a lot of good authors, off top of my head I suggest Nephylim, Cia, Liukas Soli, Shatterheart, Emulated, and David McLeod. THere are of course many others, its just that these are the folks whose work I am most familer with.

[Young Sage]

Ok well first of all, very nice chapter, although I am about to choke you if you don't explain about Shawns dad soon, I mean REALLY I love an unresolved emotional plot point as much as the next writer but DUDE your killing me here lmao. I like how you did this chapter, I mean you have to tear away everything from a charecte before you can build them into something/someone better right? I also loved the whole *phantom* lover thing you did with Anthony, I look forward to seeing how that gets resolved.

 

In answer your question about life/detail of charecters. I don't think i do this, I try to come up with as much detail as possible about them to make them seem real but without making them sound busy, if that makes any sense at all. Al though you to DO pose some interesting ideas, small stuff that I've never considered, allergies for instance, is something I've never considered writing into a charecter, but I think I'll consider it lol.

 

As to getting some reading done I can't make many suggestions as to the Hosted Authors, having not had the time to get to them, but in efiction there are a lot of good authors, off top of my head I suggest Nephylim, Cia, Liukas Soli, Shatterheart, Emulated, and David McLeod. THere are of course many others, its just that these are the folks whose work I am most familer with.

 

Actually, when I was originally writing the chapters out, I thought the mystery behind Shawn's dad was TOO obvious. I thought I wasn't being vague and cryptic enough. Though I have since learned that this was not the case, it still amazes me that people still aren't instantly getting what went on back then. I also seem to have an unhealthy obsession with making Shawn's life as miserable as possible. It's like I enjoy it TOO much. Is there something wrong with me? And how the phantom lover thing gets resolved? If you've come to understand anything in this story so far, you know the answer is "not pretty."

 

These small, unimportant things about the characters that never make it into the story help me flesh out my characters in my own head. They often come when I'm not even thinking about writing the story. The best one I came up with was the night Anthony got drunk, impaled a soccer ball with a stick, and roasted it over a fire. Yeah...he's a weird one, that Anthony. Oh, and I've already done some scouting for my reading materials, so now it's just down to finding the time. Though I have Spring Break, I've still got a lot of work to do.

[Young Sage]

So for some reason, I added the next chapter to BSC (Chapter 7), but it won't show up on the home page, the table of contents, or anywhere else. And yet, if I try to upload the chapter again, it says that I'm trying to upload an 8th chapter. So i don't know what's going on, whether there's a time lag going on or something, or whether the site just ate my chapter. I'll wait a couple of hours and see what happens. I might just have to upload it again, and if two chapter 7s appear, just delete one of them. Consequently, I'm unable to make a new funny announcement in the announcement section, since I don't have a link to provide. In conclusion, sorry if the chapter gets out late!

[Young Sage]

Just checked my author's account. It says the chapter isn't "validated." This appears new to me, since in previous chapter uploads, they've been accessable the minute I click "post." Anyone want to explain to me what's going on? Is there a time period before my chapters are "validated," or have I finally just p***ed off the administrators (really, I'm surprised it took this long)?

 

Oh, but I did put up an announcement, along with a link, so see if that works instead. It may not.

[NightOwl88]

No worries Young sage, it'll get up soon. All of us *except some more of the well known authors* have to be validated due to some plagerism issues of late. Nothing to worry about.

[Young Sage]

Thanks for the heads up. I would think someone would mass-email everyone about it so as to not cause a panic (I think I'm signed up to get those kinds of emails...). Shame, now I'll have to start posting them earlier so that they get up by Friday.

[Young Sage]

I just sent an email to an admin about the lack of new chapter. It shouldn't take this long to approve of a less-than-2,000-word document. According to the talking echidna, it should only take about 24 hours for the validation process to go through. As you all know, it's been about 72 hours now. Hopefully it'll be up by tomorrow at the latest. If not, RAZE THE FIELDS!!!

 

(I'll probably have to do something special as a sort-of apology for the delay, even though it was of no fault of my own.)

[Nephylim]

Alright guys and estrogen-challenged girls, I'm officially on Spring Break! Unfortunately, I still have many school projects to work on during the break. Fortunately, I have plenty of time to do them. So hopefully this all means that I can spend a little more time on here, and I can actually READ some of the stories on here. Shocker, I know. I'll be going around, finding stuff that catches my interests, so you may find a sweet, little, old review from me in the near future.

 

And for something that actually contributes to this thread, some little known information. BSC is an epic story of over 9,000 50 chapters (sorry, couldn't resist). Shawn is allergic to soy sauce. It took until late into the story for me to figure out Anthony's last name. Anthony's favorite brand of beer is Budweiser. Shawn is older than most kids in his grade. Does ANY of this factor into the story at any point at all? Nope. I know so much about my characters (I refer to all my male characters collectively as "My Dudes") that doesn't go into my story, it's a little sad. Does anybody else do this? Make facts about their characters that theoretically only the author should know (stuff that doesn't make it into the story itself)?

 

Of course. My characters are as real as my friend for the time I am writing them. I know everything about them, sometimes even down to shoe size. And of course we're estrogen challenged... it is coming up to estra time isn't it. The celebration of the fertility goddess estra and the symbols that surround her... like rabbits and eggs

[NightOwl88]

I just sent an email to an admin about the lack of new chapter. It shouldn't take this long to approve of a less-than-2,000-word document. According to the talking echidna, it should only take about 24 hours for the validation process to go through. As you all know, it's been about 72 hours now. Hopefully it'll be up by tomorrow at the latest. If not, RAZE THE FIELDS!!!

 

(I'll probably have to do something special as a sort-of apology for the delay, even though it was of no fault of my own.)

 

 

Now worries Young Sage, its a new system, there are bound to be gum in the works some where along the way.

[Young Sage]

Of course. My characters are as real as my friend for the time I am writing them. I know everything about them, sometimes even down to shoe size. And of course we're estrogen challenged... it is coming up to estra time isn't it. The celebration of the fertility goddess estra and the symbols that surround her... like rabbits and eggs

 

Oh no...visions of Milky Way eggs are invading my head. I wait all freaking year for those things! I never considered the shoe size of Shawn or Anthony or Other because of that famous (though false) belief about a man's shoe size and his...banana. And how dare you lowercase a goddess's name . You will be smited by three ghosts tonight (I think that's how it went). Though Shawn and Anthony may seem real to me, I would never consider them to be my friends were they real people, even with their personalities after the story ends. Is that weird?

 

Oh! And to anybody else who reads this, I just posted Chapter 8 of the story just now, so you all get a double feature tonight! Beer's on NightOwl!

[NightOwl88]

*drops two kegs of Millers draft on the ground*

 

Sorry i haven't commented in so long, I am behind on a lot of my corrospondance. I've enjoyed themost recent chapter, they have been enlightening. I hope though that you are planning leading to a resolution or something bentween Shawn and his mom, their current relationshop just keeps feeding on itself and it feels like its going no where lol. I look forward to seeing what happens with Anthony and Shawn and how things work out with his Aunt.

 

BTW in reply your plea for help in the announcement thread for the most recent chapter I was wondering what you meant are you having issues with the funny summeries or with titles? Either way i don't think anyone could help without knowing the content of the chapters to be posted.

 

BEst Wishes,

NightOwl

[Young Sage]

I was talking about the funny summaries, actually. They're harder to come up with than you think! And since when do the summaries have ANYTHING to do with the content of the chapter (or was that your subtle way of trying to fool me into giving you the chapters early?)? I already have titles for all the chapters. The last one is "Graduation" . At least you're talking here. You're one of the four people that has... .

 

I've already stated this elsewhere, but there is logic behind Shawn and his mom's scenes together. You just don't know about it yet. As for some resolution...*leaves you hanging*

 

The aunt is the first new character. Her name is Emmy. Whether what you think happens in relation to her will happen or not will be resolved in the next chapter, I promise. The next chapter's called "It's a Wonderful Life." Is Anthony secretly Shawn's guardian angel?!

[NightOwl88]

I was talking about the funny summaries, actually. They're harder to come up with than you think! And since when do the summaries have ANYTHING to do with the content of the chapter (or was that your subtle way of trying to fool me into giving you the chapters early?)? I already have titles for all the chapters. The last one is "Graduation" . At least you're talking here. You're one of the four people that has... .

 

I've already stated this elsewhere, but there is logic behind Shawn and his mom's scenes together. You just don't know about it yet. As for some resolution...*leaves you hanging*

 

The aunt is the first new character. Her name is Emmy. Whether what you think happens in relation to her will happen or not will be resolved in the next chapter, I promise. The next chapter's called "It's a Wonderful Life." Is Anthony secretly Shawn's guardian angel?!

 

I must have missed where you mentioned the logic, I appologize. I look forward to seeing/hearing it though lol. The funny summeries....hmm I have no idea what to tell you my friend. I suck just coming up with intro summeries for my stories as a whole, chapters....eh good luck with that. lol

 

Your welcome. I like this story so I stop in as often as I can, but like I said I tend to get behind on things easily lol.

 

Best,

NightOwl

 

P.S To draw more attention to the chapter you might try posting the announcements in this thread as well as the announcement forum.

[Young Sage]

No need to apologize. I mentioned it in a comment to someone else's review. Writing the summary for my story was murder. I can't possibly summarize over 50 chapters in 6 sentences or less! And writing summaries for individual chapters just gives the plot away, so that's one of the reasons why I don't do it in the first place.

 

You can tell I have free time on my hands from the amount of responses I've given tonight alone .

 

P.S To draw more attention to the chapter you might try posting the announcements in this thread as well as the announcement forum.

 

I was always under the assumption that the two forum subsections were meant to be kept separate, or risk facing the wrath of the admins. What does everybody else think about this idea? (Yes, lame attempt to get more people talking, I know.)