Site Administrator Graeme Posted March 11, 2010 Site Administrator Posted March 11, 2010 (edited) Sorry Mom by Duncan Ryder When you find your future, you shouldn Edited March 11, 2010 by Graeme
Site Administrator Cia Posted March 13, 2010 Site Administrator Posted March 13, 2010 I really liked your story. It was almost poetically written with some very eloquent phrases. The love that Matthew has for his mother is so strong, it makes me hope that my son would feel the same when he gets to that age, he's only 3 now and is at the wiping away Mommy kisses stage already Matthew's devotion to his mother and his sadness and fear at disappointing her only serves to emphasize how much he loves Chi and his desire to share that with his mother, no matter what. Great story!
Tiger Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 (edited) That was really good. I almost had to laugh at the end. He had been scared to tell her, but she already know. It's not uncommon for a mother. There was no mention of how she knew or what she had against Starbucks, but sometimes it's good to leave something to our imaginations. Edited March 13, 2010 by Tiger
Site Administrator Graeme Posted March 14, 2010 Author Site Administrator Posted March 14, 2010 Thanks, Duncan! Mother's often know... something I can say with experience, with my wife often knowing and understanding our boys better than I do. As the anthology coordinator, I'm now expecting more contributions to the anthologies I enjoyed this one so much that I want more. Did you hear, me? More! More! More! Seriously, thank you I always enjoy feel-good stories and this is an excellent example of one.
Site Administrator wildone Posted March 14, 2010 Site Administrator Posted March 14, 2010 What a great story Duncan , thank you for sharing. I believe it was or first anthology contribution at GA, and I only have to ask why haven't we had more . What I really like about the story, was that really you developed a character very quickly and one I think that anyone could relate too. I'm sure every person has dreaded going up to their Mom and revealing something about themselves that they figure will dissappoint her. Really, is there any feeling worse than knowing you may have caused your mother some pain? You captured this and also made an ending the is usually true, that moms know and even if you see disappointment in your decision, your mom won't. Great ending to a great story. I guess the pessimist that lurks in the background of me did have one doubt though. Is Chi a foreigner and is Matthew being set up for disappointment much like his Mom? I hope not Steve
zland666 Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 What a great story Duncan , thank you for sharing. I believe it was or first anthology contribution at GA, and I only have to ask why haven't we had more . What I really like about the story, was that really you developed a character very quickly and one I think that anyone could relate too. I'm sure every person has dreaded going up to their Mom and revealing something about themselves that they figure will dissappoint her. Really, is there any feeling worse than knowing you may have caused your mother some pain? You captured this and also made an ending the is usually true, that moms know and even if you see disappointment in your decision, your mom won't. Great ending to a great story. I guess the pessimist that lurks in the background of me did have one doubt though. Is Chi a foreigner and is Matthew being set up for disappointment much like his Mom? I hope not Steve I loved it, if only every mother acted like that, that was awsome.
Nephylim Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 This was an extremely well written story. Everything led up to those two words at the end. I truly did not expect the ending but I am so so happy with it. Thank you.
hh5 Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 hehe - I figured on mother's intuition - it was all an up hill battle I love the presentation of the situation. They better stay together - chi has no where to go anyway.
Duncan Ryder Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 What a great story Duncan , thank you for sharing. I believe it was or first anthology contribution at GA, and I only have to ask why haven't we had more . What I really like about the story, was that really you developed a character very quickly and one I think that anyone could relate too. I'm sure every person has dreaded going up to their Mom and revealing something about themselves that they figure will dissappoint her. Really, is there any feeling worse than knowing you may have caused your mother some pain? You captured this and also made an ending the is usually true, that moms know and even if you see disappointment in your decision, your mom won't. Great ending to a great story. I guess the pessimist that lurks in the background of me did have one doubt though. Is Chi a foreigner and is Matthew being set up for disappointment much like his Mom? I hope not Steve Thank you. My short fiction doesn't generally lend itself to the anthology themes...but if the stars align again, I'll submit another story! The race/foreigner thing is important...but I actually wrote it that way for a different reason. You are reading this story on a gay fiction site, and so I am betting you assumed the first person narrator is a gay man. Actually, that is never specified. So imagine you are reading the story in some main stream context. It's not until Mom says "really Matthew" that the narrator is identified as a man.... I guess context is everything. This was an extremely well written story. Everything led up to those two words at the end. I truly did not expect the ending but I am so so happy with it. Thank you. Thank you. I really liked your story. It was almost poetically written with some very eloquent phrases. The love that Matthew has for his mother is so strong, it makes me hope that my son would feel the same when he gets to that age, he's only 3 now and is at the wiping away Mommy kisses stage already Matthew's devotion to his mother and his sadness and fear at disappointing her only serves to emphasize how much he loves Chi and his desire to share that with his mother, no matter what. Great story! Thank you. It esp. meaningful to me that you mention the poetry of it...I really do think of myself first as a poet. 1
Duncan Ryder Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Thanks, Duncan! Mother's often know... something I can say with experience, with my wife often knowing and understanding our boys better than I do. As the anthology coordinator, I'm now expecting more contributions to the anthologies I enjoyed this one so much that I want more. Did you hear, me? More! More! More! Seriously, thank you I always enjoy feel-good stories and this is an excellent example of one. Yes, mothers often know. 2
Duncan Ryder Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I'm not quite sure how I managed to get multiple quotes in one response...but I can't seem to do it again...a collective thank you to everyone. I'm glad you like the story. 1
Tiger Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 (edited) Duncan, for future reference, to the right of the "Reply" button is another button that says "Multi quote". If you select "Multi quote" for everyone you wish to reply to, and then click "Add Reply" at the bottom of the page, you can reply to multiple posters at once. If I remember correctly, the limit is five. Edited March 15, 2010 by Tiger
Kev de Cauchery Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 It's more or less the same for me to come out to my mom, sans the love of my life, so it's definitely a tearing moment when reading it and it touches me in more ways than one. And guess what, my mom knew too. It's so well written that I don't mind embarassing myself crying in public reading from a cell phone. I'm just surprised from reading the thread that it's your first entry to anthologies. Just fab.
Toast Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I loved the story and the way you told it was just wonderful. The words were alive with emotion and life. Thank you.
CarlHoliday Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Very nice story Duncan. I liked the length, nothing like a really good short, short story. I liked the agonizing of Matthew over how his mother was going to be devestated by the words he must say. But, what I really, really liked was his mother's GOTCHA! It was priceless, but it's true, she couldn't do it until he got up the nerve to do his part, too.
Duncan Ryder Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Duncan, for future reference, to the right of the "Reply" button is another button that says "Multi quote". If you select "Multi quote" for everyone you wish to reply to, and then click "Add Reply" at the bottom of the page, you can reply to multiple posters at once. If I remember correctly, the limit is five. Thx Tiger....let me just see if that will work for me....
Duncan Ryder Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Wow! Tiger, you're a genius! How cool is that??? It's more or less the same for me to come out to my mom, sans the love of my life, so it's definitely a tearing moment when reading it and it touches me in more ways than one. And guess what, my mom knew too. It's so well written that I don't mind embarassing myself crying in public reading from a cell phone. I'm just surprised from reading the thread that it's your first entry to anthologies. Just fab. That almost brought tears to my eyes. That a little story I wrote here in my little room in the Canadian winter could resonate that powerfully with someone on the other side of the world is, well, amazing to me. Thank you. (And you can read my other stories here at GA...they just aren't in the anthologies. End of shameless plug...) I loved the story and the way you told it was just wonderful. The words were alive with emotion and life. Thank you. Thx. Very nice story Duncan. I liked the length, nothing like a really good short, short story. I liked the agonizing of Matthew over how his mother was going to be devestated by the words he must say. But, what I really, really liked was his mother's GOTCHA! It was priceless, but it's true, she couldn't do it until he got up the nerve to do his part, too. Thx. Writing short and tight is a lot harder than most people realize. (Was it Oscar Wilde who wrote someone a long letter saying "Sorry for writing you such a long letter; I didn't have time to write a short one?) Sketching a believable character in just a few paragraphs... I have to say though, I've heard so many real life variations on this story... guys fighting for the courage to tell Moms who had figured it out years ago... Wonderful story, Duncan. I liked that very much. Thx Sharon. 1
Tiger Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Thx Tiger....let me just see if that will work for me.... Wow! Tiger, you're a genius! How cool is that??? I'm glad I could help.
TRiG Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Beautiful. And, as someone else has already said, poetic. I hadn't noticed that the first-person narrator doesn't mention his sex. You're right: if we were reading this in a "mainstream" anthology, that would be a moment of revelation. TRiG.
Cynical Romantic Posted March 18, 2010 Posted March 18, 2010 I think I want to cry! That was just so beautiful. So warm. Duncan, there's just something about everything you write that - fact or fiction - always makes me feel like you're sharing a piece of yourself. A piece of your soul. Every story is a gift. I don't know how you do it, but it never fails to get to me. And this one reads like a real mother's day gift. A true ode to the love between a mother and a son. You can feel that at every step, Matthew is not at all sorry about who he is or who he loves, he's just sorry about the thought of hurting his mother, who he obviously cares for so much. Why is it so often that the greatest sin we ever commit is not giving those we love enough credit?
ppete Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 Thanks Duncan, things are certainly different than when my mother found out...different era...great story, thanks again
Bob1010 Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 I just caught up with this one, Duncan. It was so well written and developed. Tight writing like this that says so much with an economy of words is so hard. But on the other hand that is also true of your other series stories here. As one of the responders noted that your writing is sometimes poetic. I agree. I always await your next chapter or maybe short story now. Bob
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