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Circumnavigation (99+36) Bruja Del Mar

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Bruja Del Mar is up. Posted Image

 

I know this isn't supposed to be posted until midnight, but there's a thunderstorm closing in.

 

So, onwards with chapter M2, Bruja Del Mar. We get to do a bit of sightseeing too.

 

CJ Posted Image

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Dang :(

 

Here I was late posting my comment that I thought the fax was sent by the DEA agent in the Bahama's that Gonzales shook down. I was right, but I never said anything :(

 

Then, I think from the moment that you mention the distributor cap missing, that Gray was behind it. Guess what? Gray is their driver :unsure:

 

The guys have loose lips just like Joel and Lisa. What is with kids these days :P

 

Bridget will soon be informed of their route, which boat, and everything else she needs. I wonder if Trevor is going to have another pirate encounter in the South Pacific but with Shane aboard too!

 

I do have to ask CJ, I mentioned that I didn't remember Bridget mentioning the tape and the asset list, but Benji recalled her discussing the asset list and the supplies for a secret compartment, did you add that part to jog my memory? :P I am getting old after all 0:)

 

Thanks for the chapter CJ!

 

This one chapter is not a cliffhanger, I declare, as Gray has made his intentions known that he would be driving the guys around, getting information about them. He revealed himself at the end. Personally, I don't see the guys in any immediate danger until after they depart Sydney.

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Posted Image ....

Really a cruise ship!! Huh!

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Dang Posted Image

 

Here I was late posting my comment that I thought the fax was sent by the DEA agent in the Bahama's that Gonzales shook down. I was right, but I never said anything Posted Image

 

Then, I think from the moment that you mention the distributor cap missing, that Gray was behind it. Guess what? Gray is their driver Posted Image

 

The guys have loose lips just like Joel and Lisa. What is with kids these days Posted Image

 

Bridget will soon be informed of their route, which boat, and everything else she needs. I wonder if Trevor is going to have another pirate encounter in the South Pacific but with Shane aboard too!

 

I do have to ask CJ, I mentioned that I didn't remember Bridget mentioning the tape and the asset list, but Benji recalled her discussing the asset list and the supplies for a secret compartment, did you add that part to jog my memory? Posted Image I am getting old after all Posted Image

 

Thanks for the chapter CJ!

 

This one chapter is not a cliffhanger, I declare, as Gray has made his intentions known that he would be driving the guys around, getting information about them. He revealed himself at the end. Personally, I don't see the guys in any immediate danger until after they depart Sydney.

 

Thank you Wildone!!!!!

 

Trevor and Shane have a nice tour guide. :) Maybe he will give them some of his favorite beer as a going-away present?

 

And yep, it was your comment that prompted me; time for a refresher, due to it having been so long. :)

 

Really a cruise ship!! Huh!

Nope, not a cruise ship. :)

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Stone the crows!!! Which day did Trevor and Shane visit Healesville? They coulda dropped in for a cuppa.

 

Lol. Healesville is my hometown and we're rather proud of our Sanctuary.

One of the most spectacular displays is called 'Birds In Flight' where you watch hawks and falcons flying close. The heart-stopper is having a mighty wedge-tailed eagle with a three meter wingspan come stooping only a couple of feet over your head.

One of the keepers visits my home and not long ago she arrived with a baby black wallaby in a day-pack (artificial pouch). Totally neat.

It had been taken to the Sanctuary after it's mother had been killed by a car and required feeding every two hours, day and night, so couldn't be left unattended at the care center.

Echidnas occasionally wander through my block and every morning at sunrise the resident family of kookaburras gives me a wake-up call.

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larwain: I read your post and I'm jealous. The wildlife sanctuary sounds so neat. I'm not so sure I'd like to wake up to the calls of kookaburras everyday however!

 

The sea witch is the witch I've been referring to in my posts all along.

 

I repeat: It is more than past time for her to have a run of bad luck.

 

Joel and Lisa traipsing into her clutches seems all but certain as they are about to visit one her little shops.

 

Trevor and Shane being loose lipped with Gray providing much of the information he was given $1.5 million for seems unreal as well. Gray is another bloody bastard that needs to come to an end most foul!

 

So this latest chapter end at the precipice of one of the biggest cliff hangers in this whole collection of cliffies.....Now I have to wait with baited breath for the next installment of this soap opera!

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I just cringe! I agree with wildone, "The guys have loose lips just like Joel and Lisa. What is with kids these days." It's like watching several trains approaching on different tracks, knowing that they will crash and also knowing there's nothing I can do about it. I tune in every Thursday morning to learn more and hope for the best.

 

I also agree with daddydavk, " I repeat: 'It is more than past time for her to have a run of bad luck'." Let it be so.

 

 

 

Thanks.

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When I sent the chapter back to CJ, here's some of what I had to say:

 

When are the guys going to learn to keep their mouths shut? I mean even with everything they've gone thru, you’d think they’d still be a bit cautious.

I think the big question is, will Gray survive the encounter with Trev and Shane.

 

When it comes to a run of bad luck, let's not forget that Jefe is watching what Bridget is doing and could pull her plug at any time.

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Several have commented on Trevor and Shane being a little too loose with what they tell others. They have gotten good advice from Uncle Greg Fowler in the past. Perhaps "being seen" includes spreading some disinformation about their travel plans. Such information is spread rapidly by reporters...and cabbies.

 

From chapter 135:

“So, we’re supposed to be seen today,” Trevor grumbled.

 

“I hope Kline and your uncle know what they’re doing – though I suppose there weren’t any good options once the press found us,” Shane replied, as he helped Trevor lock up Atlantis.

 

Avoiding the press has been their plan for a while. What better way to do that than to say they are going where they are not? In this case, they may avoid a fate worse than the press.

Edited by MikeL

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Iarwain, words cannot express the level of my jealousy! I visited Melbourne two years ago and I really hope it's something I can repeat - what an amazing city in an amazing country. And if there is a next time, the animal sanctuary will be on my itinerary.

 

As for the story - yes, the boys chattered a bit more than perhaps they should have but I'm not sure how much they actually gave away. There are two boats - well, that's about to become common knowledge. They're travelling back across the Pacific and through the Panama Canal - well, it's the only sensible route.

 

They didn't tell Gray which boat they're on, I don't think, so what did they tell him that he didn't know or couldn't reasonably guess?

 

Lisa and Joel, on the other hand, are about as stupid as it's possible to be. OK, they don't know that she's one of the Cartel leaders, but they can't be under any illusions that she's not a nice person at all. They know that she had no qualms about shooting down the police helicopters or feeding Henry to the alligators. And yet their first instinct is to go looking for her. Beggars belief!

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Posted Image .......................I had a feeling Gray was going to be Trev & Shane's driver, when the other car owner cussed at his unresponsive car trying to start, the missing distributor cap was a giveaway. Lisa and Joel are not the only ones with loose lips, thank G-D the DEA agent was the one that faxed the info to Gonzales, I had thought it a 50/50 chance, turned out I wasn't so far off. Posted Image I wonder if Lisa and Joel are walking into a spiders lair in the A/C place, the delayed info to Gonzales may cost them their lives. I wouldn't put it past the goat to killing them off.Posted Image

 

Seems Trevor has no problem talking either, I really wonder if this is just a ploy and I think Gray bought everything they said. Has Gray thought of everything? What if the boys discover that the driver they hired did not arrive via a clerk at the dock? If I was the 'designated' driver I would called the dock and told them, that he had car trouble. This tidbit of information should reach Fowler's ears and cancel the boys planned itinerary, but then again we have an evil goat!! Posted Image

 

Then Bridget herself is not immune to talking with Xavier, she must realize that he is telling Jeef (I think that's the head guys name) everything she tells him. But in her minds eye, she is his equal, a dangerous assumption on her part, as good as Bridget is in what she does and plans, she laments about missing a certain talent her late husband had, and even the insight of Xavier. She had said it enough to make me think that she will not see what can happen to her.

 

Great chapter CJ!! Looking forward to more. ( Posted Image ...Hopefully this saga will end before I die! Posted Image )

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Stone the crows!!! Which day did Trevor and Shane visit Healesville? They coulda dropped in for a cuppa.

 

Lol. Healesville is my hometown and we're rather proud of our Sanctuary.

One of the most spectacular displays is called 'Birds In Flight' where you watch hawks and falcons flying close. The heart-stopper is having a mighty wedge-tailed eagle with a three meter wingspan come stooping only a couple of feet over your head.

One of the keepers visits my home and not long ago she arrived with a baby black wallaby in a day-pack (artificial pouch). Totally neat.

It had been taken to the Sanctuary after it's mother had been killed by a car and required feeding every two hours, day and night, so couldn't be left unattended at the care center.

Echidnas occasionally wander through my block and every morning at sunrise the resident family of kookaburras gives me a wake-up call.

 

Awesome!

 

I'd love to visit there. Trevor and Shane's trip was based on a lot of help from Graeme.

 

larwain: I read your post and I'm jealous. The wildlife sanctuary sounds so neat. I'm not so sure I'd like to wake up to the calls of kookaburras everyday however!

 

The sea witch is the witch I've been referring to in my posts all along.

 

I repeat: It is more than past time for her to have a run of bad luck.

 

Joel and Lisa traipsing into her clutches seems all but certain as they are about to visit one her little shops.

 

Trevor and Shane being loose lipped with Gray providing much of the information he was given $1.5 million for seems unreal as well. Gray is another bloody bastard that needs to come to an end most foul!

 

So this latest chapter end at the precipice of one of the biggest cliff hangers in this whole collection of cliffies.....Now I have to wait with baited breath for the next installment of this soap opera!

 

Even Bridget;s own people call her the witch now. :)

 

Gray was NOT provided the 1.5 million just for information. The info is part of it... the other has something to do with the other things discussed by Gray and his associates. (Related to the line, "What are they, bloody battleships?")

 

Cliffy?!!?! WHAT cliffy? Even Wildone said it's not a cliffy.

 

I just cringe! I agree with wildone, "The guys have loose lips just like Joel and Lisa. What is with kids these days." It's like watching several trains approaching on different tracks, knowing that they will crash and also knowing there's nothing I can do about it. I tune in every Thursday morning to learn more and hope for the best.

 

I also agree with daddydavk, " I repeat: 'It is more than past time for her to have a run of bad luck'." Let it be so.

 

Thanks.

 

But a couple of chapters back, it was mentioned that someone's luck is running out... oh, wait, that was Trevor... probably nothing to worry about though.

 

When I sent the chapter back to CJ, here's some of what I had to say:

 

I think the big question is, will Gray survive the encounter with Trev and Shane.

 

When it comes to a run of bad luck, let's not forget that Jefe is watching what Bridget is doing and could pull her plug at any time.

 

There are several situations in the current set of circumstances that are basically hair-triggers for many of the characters. :)

Several have commented on Trevor and Shane being a little too loose with what they tell others. They have gotten good advice from Uncle Greg Fowler in the past. Perhaps "being seen" includes spreading some disinformation about their travel plans. Such information is spread rapidly by reporters...and cabbies.

 

From chapter 135:

 

 

Avoiding the press has been their plan for a while. What better way to do that than to say they are going where they are not? In this case, they may avoid a fate worse than the press.

 

Or, maybe they plan to sail into Sydney harbor in broad daylight, tour the bay on Atlantis, and tie up downtown, next to the Sydney Opera House, as part of their secrecy plan? :)

Iarwain, words cannot express the level of my jealousy! I visited Melbourne two years ago and I really hope it's something I can repeat - what an amazing city in an amazing country. And if there is a next time, the animal sanctuary will be on my itinerary.

 

As for the story - yes, the boys chattered a bit more than perhaps they should have but I'm not sure how much they actually gave away. There are two boats - well, that's about to become common knowledge. They're travelling back across the Pacific and through the Panama Canal - well, it's the only sensible route.

 

They didn't tell Gray which boat they're on, I don't think, so what did they tell him that he didn't know or couldn't reasonably guess?

 

Lisa and Joel, on the other hand, are about as stupid as it's possible to be. OK, they don't know that she's one of the Cartel leaders, but they can't be under any illusions that she's not a nice person at all. They know that she had no qualms about shooting down the police helicopters or feeding Henry to the alligators. And yet their first instinct is to go looking for her. Beggars belief!

 

Bridget and gray already knew their are two boats. They want to find out which is which, or failing that, destroy both. They don't know the tape has been found, so they are still going for Ares (Kookaburra) as their primary target - or both, if they can't be sure which is which.

 

And yep, going looking for Bridget is not the brightest of moves. However, they did say that they just want information, so they can give Gonzalez her location. They just have no idea how much danger they are in.

 

The odd thing is, if Trevor or Shane had said they were on Atlantis, they'd likely be safe for a while - though Kookaburra would suddenly become a very dangerous place to be.

 

Posted Image .......................I had a feeling Gray was going to be Trev & Shane's driver, when the other car owner cussed at his unresponsive car trying to start, the missing distributor cap was a giveaway. Lisa and Joel are not the only ones with loose lips, thank G-D the DEA agent was the one that faxed the info to Gonzales, I had thought it a 50/50 chance, turned out I wasn't so far off. Posted Image I wonder if Lisa and Joel are walking into a spiders lair in the A/C place, the delayed info to Gonzales may cost them their lives. I wouldn't put it past the goat to killing them off.Posted Image

 

Seems Trevor has no problem talking either, I really wonder if this is just a ploy and I think Gray bought everything they said. Has Gray thought of everything? What if the boys discover that the driver they hired did not arrive via a clerk at the dock? If I was the 'designated' driver I would called the dock and told them, that he had car trouble. This tidbit of information should reach Fowler's ears and cancel the boys planned itinerary, but then again we have an evil goat!! Posted Image

 

Then Bridget herself is not immune to talking with Xavier, she must realize that he is telling Jeef (I think that's the head guys name) everything she tells him. But in her minds eye, she is his equal, a dangerous assumption on her part, as good as Bridget is in what she does and plans, she laments about missing a certain talent her late husband had, and even the insight of Xavier. She had said it enough to make me think that she will not see what can happen to her.

 

Great chapter CJ!! Looking forward to more. ( Posted Image ...Hopefully this saga will end before I die! Posted Image )

 

Benji!!!

 

It wouldn't be me killing off Lisa and Joel, it would be Bridget! Stop trying to blame me for things she does (or might do). :P

 

 

**************************************

 

BTW, to clarify some of the above; Bridget already knew most of their route; that's why she has a reception planned for them in Panama (with explosives, rocket-propelled grenades, etc). So, in telling Gray that, they really gave away nothing. :)

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Thanks for posting earley. I need more Quality reading materialPosted Image

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Posted Image ................... From the cliff dwelling goat!!! Posted Image

 

Benji!!!

 

It wouldn't be me killing off Lisa and Joel, it would be Bridget! Stop trying to blame me for things she does (or might do). Posted Image

 

Yeah right, first you are writing the saga, not to mention that then you shifted it into Trevor's lap After he sailed away from Florida. Now you try and blame Bridget for the writings!!! Posted Image

 

BTW, to clarify some of the above; Bridget already knew most of their route; that's why she has a reception planned for them in Panama (with explosives, rocket-propelled grenades, etc). So, in telling Gray that, they really gave away nothing.

 

Hmmmm, wait a minute! We have Gray in position to strike with already laden explosives, and with two targets, the Kookaburra and the Atlantis. So that means YOU have decided unless the discovery is made sooner, Bridget plans to take them out near the Panama canal area, and not Australia. If so, then you have her paying Gray 1.5 million for what? Information and taking down the Kookaburra? Is she hedging her bet that the asset list will be discovered first? Because Lisa and Joel didn't know about the list, nor was it listed as one, per the Gonzalez conversation with Jim. Bridget must know that and just think of the two are just snooping around and happened to come across her little shop, while delivering flyers, she may even dismiss the whole thing and have them left alone. The fallacy in her logic I explained before.

 

You may have given us the next chapter goat!!! Posted Image

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i wonder if we will have dad n bf to the rescue? they not been doing anything handy n gonzales ???

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Thanks for posting earley. I need more Quality reading materialPosted Image

 

I wish I could do that more often! :)

 

However, there's about to be an announcement of a 7 day delay... Sorry.

 

Posted Image ................... From the cliff dwelling goat!!! Posted Image

 

Benji!!!

 

It wouldn't be me killing off Lisa and Joel, it would be Bridget! Stop trying to blame me for things she does (or might do). Posted Image

 

Yeah right, first you are writing the saga, not to mention that then you shifted it into Trevor's lap After he sailed away from Florida. Now you try and blame Bridget for the writings!!! Posted Image

 

BTW, to clarify some of the above; Bridget already knew most of their route; that's why she has a reception planned for them in Panama (with explosives, rocket-propelled grenades, etc). So, in telling Gray that, they really gave away nothing.

 

Hmmmm, wait a minute! We have Gray in position to strike with already laden explosives, and with two targets, the Kookaburra and the Atlantis. So that means YOU have decided unless the discovery is made sooner, Bridget plans to take them out near the Panama canal area, and not Australia. If so, then you have her paying Gray 1.5 million for what? Information and taking down the Kookaburra? Is she hedging her bet that the asset list will be discovered first? Because Lisa and Joel didn't know about the list, nor was it listed as one, per the Gonzalez conversation with Jim. Bridget must know that and just think of the two are just snooping around and happened to come across her little shop, while delivering flyers, she may even dismiss the whole thing and have them left alone. The fallacy in her logic I explained before.

 

You may have given us the next chapter goat!!! Posted Image

 

Benji! Quit trying to blame me! Bridget is very, very strong-willed. I could try to tell her what to do, but she wouldn't listen (and would probably feed me to alligators).

 

Bridget's plan is to try to take them out whenever an opertunity presents itself, but the backstop plan is Panama. However, she's currently after Ares (Kookaburra) if she can figure out which is which, or failing that, blow up both. So, Trevor and Shane are probably safe for the moment, unless they make Gray think Atlantis is Kookaburra.

 

However, if Gray, or Bridget, see a chance to "solve the problem" before Panama, they will.

 

BTW, Shane sure did like seeing those Kookaburra birds, didn't he? That was such a happy scene. :) (BTW, yes, this is a CLUE!).

 

As for Lisa and Joel... they have a copy of the asset list with them. If Bridget sees it, she'll know (or at least suspect) that Trevor and Shane found the tape. She will then need them dead, pronto. It's a good thing they are far away and not close to any of her hired killers...

 

i wonder if we will have dad n bf to the rescue? they not been doing anything handy n gonzales ???

 

It's probably too late... :(

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I forgot to release the name of tone coming chapter... It's "Complete Success".

 

CJ :)

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You asked for feedback... so here it is.

I picked up on your story when the 8th or maybe 9th chapter was posted.

I've followed and enjoyed much of Circumnavigation and your tour of Australia.

 

However, your protagonist (Trevor) did an about face by being so terribly open with Gray (a total stranger). This is really out of character, unless of course, you are having Trevor working two or three levels deep in this story. Now THAT would be more in character, especially after the boy had experienced the pirates murder attempt upon him.

 

You can keep the ending a secret if that's what you want. I've enjoyed the story line so far and it would not hurt my feelings to end it now. I'm satisfied where the two lovers' are right now - enjoying life and each other. I can't ask more than that even in real life.

 

Thanks for listening.

Rick

Edited by Ricky_writer

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Oh no, you can't end this yet! There are a lot of people to punish before this ends. I don't like this Kline guy at all, but there is also the cartel and of course Bridget. I think a smart bomb would work just fine if they ever find out their locations. I still think Bridget should go swimming with the alligators she's so fond of...

I know you have this all figured out, but unless you are trying to bring the bad guys out into the open so the cops can get them I don't understand all the publicity with Trevor and Shane. Surely the bad guys would figure out if it's a ruse or not?

I've read this story from the get go and I will be saddened to see it end, and be even more saddened if you end it early. I understand your frustration when you don't get comments on the story, I've been in that situation too. If you only have five more chapters please hang in there, for every one person commenting there are probably hundreds who read this story religiously that don't comment. I think you are a fine writer who absolutely doesn't use cliffhangers...a fact that I am so grateful for...Posted Image. I hope you have a sequel to this story too!

Edited by Clydee

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You asked for feedback... so here it is.

I picked up on your story when the 8th or maybe 9th chapter was posted.

I've followed and enjoyed much of Circumnavigation and your tour of Australia.

 

However, your protagonist (Trevor) did an about face by being so terribly open with Gray (a total stranger). This is really out of character, unless of course, you are having Trevor working two or three levels deep in this story. Now THAT would be more in character, especially after the boy had experienced the pirates murder attempt upon him.

 

You can keep the ending a secret if that's what you want. I've enjoyed the story line so far and it would not hurt my feelings to end it now. I'm satisfied where the two lovers' are right now - enjoying life and each other. I can't ask more than that even in real life.

 

Thanks for listening.

Rick

 

Yes, Trevor did an about-face by being open. It's heavily related to what happens in Sydney - he was told to be open, but slipped up a little bit. He's not a skilled liar. He's also a teenager. That he'd be heading for Panama on his way home was no slip at all; that's pretty much his only viable safe route, and it's certainly the shortest. Could parts of that section have been written better, and a few things changed to be a better fit? Absolutely! To be honest, I haven't been pleased with the quality of my writing lately. Feedback, whether good or bad, helps me tremendously in this regard.

 

The publicity... that's a very good point, and brings us into the just-posted chapter. Manipulating the Beast. It's explained in the passage that ends with "a war with the press has to be like this". Other than what the've done, was there any other hope of getting the press to ease off?

 

The story has to end soon; it ends in August, their time (it's now the end of April). The final two chapters were written long ago (it's the intervening ones I don't have yet).

 

All I'm asking for is some feedback; things had died down to the point where I really wasn't motivated anymore; it had become a grind, not a joy (and that hurts quality as well as posting frequency). Thank you for giving me some feedback. The outpouring of support I've received has motivated me far more than even I believed it would, and I've written more in the last 48 hours than I have in the previous two weeks.

 

Oh no, you can't end this yet! There are a lot of people to punish before this ends. I don't like this Kline guy at all, but there is also the cartel and of course Bridget. I think a smart bomb would work just fine if they ever find out their locations. I still think Bridget should go swimming with the alligators she's so fond of...

I know you have this all figured out, but unless you are trying to bring the bad guys out into the open so the cops can get them I don't understand all the publicity with Trevor and Shane. Surely the bad guys would figure out if it's a ruse or not?

I've read this story from the get go and I will be saddened to see it end, and be even more saddened if you end it early. I understand your frustration when you don't get comments on the story, I've been in that situation too. If you only have five more chapters please hang in there, for every one person commenting there are probably hundreds who read this story religiously that don't comment. I think you are a fine writer who absolutely doesn't use cliffhangers...a fact that I am so grateful for...Posted Image. I hope you have a sequel to this story too!

 

The final two chapters of the story were written long ago, it's just the intervening ones I need to do.

 

Sequel? Not a novel. However... don't be surprised if a few short stories based in this world appear from time to time. ;-)

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