' Live-Poets Society ' – A Corner For Poetry

[AC Benus]

41 minutes ago, asamvav111 said:

The palm whose leaves are signs of victory

And the tall pine, beloved of Cybele 

Since Attis, loyal priest, stripped off his manhood, 

And stood sexless and naked as that tree. 

 

 

The strength of a sacrificed eunuch, awe-inspiring and sublime, like the marble colonnades  of Parthenon, is expressed here in such a phallic way. A study in juxtaposition of contradictions. I applaud the poet.

I'm sure Ovid thanks you very much. You give him high praise, which is all the more significant because it is to so well studied and spiritual.  It's no wonder the poet's work has entered its third millennium of life. 

[Roberto Zuniga]

Hey everyone! I just wanted to share my newest poem!  Hope you like it"

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/roberto-zuniga/demon-of-fire-and-other-poems-of-lust-insanity-and-devotion/7

[Mikiesboy]

Michael wrote a new poem

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/blogs/entry/17052-for-tim

[Emi GS]

The vast emptiness
Spread behind the tall teak tree
On a rainy night

 

 

Any thoughts!!!? 

[mollyhousemouse]

2 minutes ago, Emi GS said:

The vast emptiness
Spread behind the tall teak tree
On a rainy night

 

 

Any thoughts!!!? 

sounds lonely

[Emi GS]

2 minutes ago, mollyhousemouse said:

sounds lonely

 

Then, I am succeeded...

[Emi GS]

14 minutes ago, Emi GS said:

The vast emptiness
Spread behind the tall teak tree
On a rainy night

 

 

Any thoughts!!!? 

 

A small change...

 

The vast emptiness
Spread behind the tall teak tree
On rainy night sky 

How is this!!!? 

[mollyhousemouse]

6 minutes ago, Emi GS said:

 

A small change...

 

The vast emptiness
Spread behind the tall teak tree
On rainy night sky 

 

How is this!!!? 

the change doesn't work 

maybe "under the rainy night sky"

[Parker Owens]

3 hours ago, Emi GS said:

The vast emptiness
Spread behind the tall teak tree
On a rainy night

 

 

Any thoughts!!!? 

 

Definitely conveys open, lonely spaces.  

[Emi GS]

13 hours ago, mollyhousemouse said:

the change doesn't work 

maybe "under the rainy night sky"

 

May be. It will ruin the syllable count of Haiku. 

[Emi GS]

Here is the final version of the Haiku after your suggestions...

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/emi-gs/MIP_MGK/30

[Mikiesboy]

18 hours ago, Emi GS said:

The vast emptiness
Spread behind the tall teak tree
On a rainy night

The vast emptiness 

spread behind the tall teak tree

on this rainy night

 

Frankly Emi .. i liked your first version better ... there was more feeling and description there.. i could see it and feel it.   Maybe putting the last line in present tense would help us be there more 'in the moment' with the writer. 

[AC Benus]

24 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

The vast emptiness 

spread behind the tall teak tree

on this rainy night

 

Frankly Emi .. i liked your first version better ... there was more feeling and description there.. i could see it and feel it.   Maybe putting the last line in present tense would help us be there more 'in the moment' with the writer. 

@Emi GS Yes.

The vast emptiness 

spreads behind the tall teak tree

on this rainy night

 

 

[Mikiesboy]

2 minutes ago, AC Benus said:

@Emi GS Yes.

The vast emptiness 

spreads behind the tall teak tree

on this rainy night

 

 

yes.. thanks AC!!

[Parker Owens]

@Emi GS : I agree with @AC Benus.  What a difference a simple 's' can make! 

[Parker Owens]

Grass after the rain,

green clothed in rarest diamonds,

sparkles just briefly.

 

Thanks for the inspiration, Emi.

Edited August 31, 2017 by Parker Owens

[Emi GS]

4 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

Grass after the rain,

green clothed in rarest diamonds,

sparkles just briefly.

 

Thanks for the inspiration, Emi.

 

Wow. Fantastic poem with vivid image. Loved the comparison of the water beads as the diamonds. Loved it Parker...

[FormerMember4]

RIP John Ashbery... A very clever and witty American poet.

[Mikiesboy]

2 hours ago, BlindAmbition said:

RIP John Ashbery... A very clever and witty American poet.

i've never read him.. so i did.. i found this and rather liked it:

 

Anticipated Stranger, 

BY JOHN ASHBERY

 

the bruise will stop by later.

For now, the pain pauses in its round,

notes the time of day, the patient’s temperature,

leaves a memo for the surrogate: What the hell

did you think you were doing? I mean . . .

Oh well, less said the better, they all say.

I’ll post this at the desk.

 

God will find the pattern and break it.

[FormerMember4]

6 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

i've never read him.. so i did.. i found this and rather liked it:

 

Anticipated Stranger, 

BY JOHN ASHBERY

 

the bruise will stop by later.

For now, the pain pauses in its round,

notes the time of day, the patient’s temperature,

leaves a memo for the surrogate: What the hell

did you think you were doing? I mean . . .

Oh well, less said the better, they all say.

I’ll post this at the desk.

 

God will find the pattern and break it.

I've always liked that one. I had respect for him. Like many poets, he was gay. Unapologetic in times harder than now!

[Parker Owens]

New day of classes. I posted this on a colleague's classroom board:

 

Tanka:  5-7-5-7-7

 

Autumn thunderstorms

flash spectacular at night,

roaring full-throated,

anticipating winter,

enraged by the fading light.

 

Discuss.

 

Hope they had fun. And for anyone else, you can find a new poem on Disasters, Delights and other Detours.... here it is:  https://www.gayauthors.org/story/parker-owens/disasters-delights-and-other-detours/3

[BDANR]

On 8/30/2017 at 10:49 AM, Emi GS said:

The vast emptiness
Spread behind the tall teak tree
On a rainy night

 

 

Any thoughts!!!? 

Hmm, rain, the night, and the vast emptiness makes me think of a meditative space. The dark imagery can be haunting, but this poem was pretty calming for me :).

[Parker Owens]

12 hours ago, Parker Owens said:

New day of classes. I posted this on a colleague's classroom board:

 

Tanka:  5-7-5-7-7

 

Autumn thunderstorms

flash spectacular at night,

roaring full-throated,

anticipating winter,

enraged by the fading light.

 

Discuss.

 

Hope they had fun. And for anyone else, you can find a new poem on Disasters, Delights and other Detours.... here it is:  https://www.gayauthors.org/story/parker-owens/disasters-delights-and-other-detours/3

 

A friend reminded me to look at Tanka again. This one has no subjective point of view,  which Tanka must have. I hope my colleague showed this to his students. In the meantime, it could be changed thus: 

 

Autumn thunderstorms
flash spectacular at me, 
roaring full-throated,
expecting me to agree

with rage at the fading light.

 

[Emi GS]

2 hours ago, BDANR said:

Hmm, rain, the night, and the vast emptiness makes me think of a meditative space. The dark imagery can be haunting, but this poem was pretty calming for me :).

 

It's more than a haunting feeling. It's the loneliness I felt by seeing the vast emptiness in the sky without any stars but darkness. Glad you had found solace in it rather than like me. 

[BDANR]

10 hours ago, Emi GS said:

 

It's more than a haunting feeling. It's the loneliness I felt by seeing the vast emptiness in the sky without any stars but darkness. Glad you had found solace in it rather than like me. 

Sorry Emi :(. *hugs