For The Love

[Jack Frost]

Once more, the comments of this chapter are even more interesting than the chapter itself....

A new cliffhanger after others, and a big one : a gunshot (remember : I like rifles and guns).

BTW, I have just one problem : the developement of the story has so many aspects that it becomes difficult to remember what happened in the former chapters. Could not the author write a little quicker, perhaps one chapter a day, instead loosing his time in answering so many posts in forums and blogs, answers certainly important and interesting, but less than his story ?

Yes, I'm sure 90% of his posts are just disclaimers that he's a lurker, not a postnazi.

[EMoe57]

Once more, the comments of this chapter are even more interesting than the chapter itself....

A new cliffhanger after others, and a big one : a gunshot (remember : I like rifles and guns).

BTW, I have just one problem : the developement of the story has so many aspects that it becomes difficult to remember what happened in the former chapters. Could not the author write a little quicker, perhaps one chapter a day, instead loosing his time in answering so many posts in forums and blogs, answers certainly important and interesting, but less than his story ?

I'm sure that if he really put his mind to it, he could churn out the whole story, but we'd be taking up a collection to support him. Besides, it wouldn't be the same story as this one. He's pointed out previously that different posts have sparked ideas that appeared in the story. Writing in a vacuum, that germination / cross-pollination wouldn't be possible.

[C James]

I'm also with CJ regarding Eric. He's being needlessly maligned by many of the readers. It's just business, guys!

ROFL!

Thanks Connor!

Yep, poor Eric, people just don't seem to understand him.

Once more, the comments of this chapter are even more interesting than the chapter itself....

A new cliffhanger after others, and a big one : a gunshot (remember : I like rifles and guns).

BTW, I have just one problem : the development of the story has so many aspects that it becomes difficult to remember what happened in the former chapters. Could not the author write a little quicker, perhaps one chapter a day, instead loosing his time in answering so many posts in forums and blogs, answers certainly important and interesting, but less than his story ?

Hi Bob!

The truth is that I'm a slow writer, and even maintaining a chapter a week is hard for me. I tend to write in spurts; I might not write at all for a couple of days, and then I might pound out half a chapter in a day. But you are right, I do get involved in lengthy discussion on occasion, and end up asking myself "Where did the day go?" LoL.

 

And as for the gunshot: I'll leave a little teaser: It may have come from a gun...

 

Yes, I'm sure 90% of his posts are just disclaimers that he's a lurker, not a postnazi.

 

Hey now! I am a lurker!!!

 

I'm sure that if he really put his mind to it, he could churn out the whole story, but we'd be taking up a collection to support him. Besides, it wouldn't be the same story as this one. He's pointed out previously that different posts have sparked ideas that appeared in the story. Writing in a vacuum, that germination / cross-pollination wouldn't be possible.

 

Very true! The feedback can in some cases inspire me, and in all cases motivates me. The main plot is pretty well set and outlined, but the details and how they are presented often change as I write, and sometimes things just happen. For example, the entire "Race with the Devil" scenario (The Sheriff chasing Chris and shooting at him) popped into my head when I was writing one line at the end of the pool party: "Don't XXXX it up this time, blondie". The "this time" was not something I had intended Veronica to say, it was just "there", and by the time I'd finished writing that line I had the sub-plot for the note, the trip to the diner, and the car chase in my head.

 

What bought that to the surface? My guess (and even I don't know for sure!) is someone asking about Steve's past.

[Bondwriter]

I'm also with CJ regarding Eric. He's being needlessly maligned by many of the readers. It's just business, guys!

ROFL!

Thanks Connor!

Yep, poor Eric, people just don't seem to understand him.

Yes, let he who never thought of setting up a website displaying relatives in the nude engaging in sexual activities or any aspects of their intimacy for that matter for the purpose of making money cast the first stone. Way to go goats!

[Graeme]

And as for the gunshot: I'll leave a little teaser: It may have come from a gun...

And here I was thinking it was a car backfiring.... Of course, CJ said it may have come from a gun, so there's still a chance that I'm right.

 

Very true! The feedback can in some cases inspire me, and in all cases motivates me. The main plot is pretty well set and outlined, but the details and how they are presented often change as I write, and sometimes things just happen.

That sort of thing happens. Tony and Tristan in my New Brother story weren't originally planned -- they just grew out of some ideas I had as the characters took certain actions with certain consequences....

[C James]

Yes, let he who never thought of setting up a website displaying relatives in the nude engaging in sexual activities or any aspects of their intimacy for that matter for the purpose of making money cast the first stone. Way to go goats!

Hmmmm... Well, maybe you humans just don't appreciate entrepreneurship the way we goats do? Eric is a quick thinker: He's just been captured by his brother after the blackmail and car theft, and he had the wit to notice what the waitress said about Chris and Steve's looks and see the profit potential! He's just industrious! And he did offer them a percentage... Maybe he didn't think they would mind?

And here I was thinking it was a car backfiring.... Of course, CJ said it may have come from a gun, so there's still a chance that I'm right.

I'd best be careful here (I fear your spines!) But would it be too much of a spoiler to say that something made the noise? Something that either is, or is not, a gun?

That sort of thing happens. Tony and Tristan in my New Brother story weren't originally planned -- they just grew out of some ideas I had as the characters took certain actions with certain consequences....

I find the unexpected developments to be a great deal of fun to write. Tony and Tristan were great, btw.

[C James]

Today is....

 

 

Tuesday!

 

That is all....

 

Oh, and Chapter 19, Fire in the Hole, is up!

[Graeme]

Cruel and vicious person... er... goat. I'm just about to get on a plane and won't be able to read this until tonight or tomorrow night at the earliest....

[ethan thorn]

Oh things just keep getting worse.

 

Thanks for the new chapter i cant wait to read the next one.

[Jack Scribe]

When Eric gets caught, goes to trial and is shipped away to detention...for years...his back door will be perpetually sore from use as the designated prison 'ho'.

 

Good chapter. I must admit that most of the computer stuff breezed over my head. I'll just take your word for it. I have read enough about Internet manipulation to be very weary of what is going on. It's scary what the international terrorists are capable of inflicting on our financial institutions if they can get through security.

 

Jack

[Bondwriter]

Well, Thaddeus

[EMoe57]

I feel I have to weigh in here and say that As a geek, CJ has done an excellent job of writing those pieces out. One of the things I get praised on is speaking/explaining at the person's level of understanding and I've not had to make changes to anything he's put in here. Yes, Bondwriter, there are geeks who can speak in every day language and convey what needs to be explained to the 'common man'. CJ, non-geek that he is, does an superb job of writing it out as well... :fire:

[C James]

Cruel and vicious person... er... goat. I'm just about to get on a plane and won't be able to read this until tonight or tomorrow night at the earliest....

Have yourself a safe trip!!

 

Hmmm, I recall a movie title (never saw the movie) called "Snakes on a plane". Is this the sequel, "Echidna on a plane"?

Oh things just keep getting worse.

 

Thanks for the new chapter i cant wait to read the next one.

Thanks!!

 

As the saying goes, things often get worse before they get better.

 

When Eric gets caught, goes to trial and is shipped away to detention...for years...his back door will be perpetually sore from use as the designated prison 'ho'.

 

Good chapter. I must admit that most of the computer stuff breezed over my head. I'll just take your word for it. I have read enough about Internet manipulation to be very weary of what is going on. It's scary what the international terrorists are capable of inflicting on our financial institutions if they can get through security.

Jack

 

Thanks!

I did quite a bit of research on the computer end; I needed to be certain that the hardware in the story would work as described, and was easily available.

 

Agreed on the vulnerability of computer networks; modern society is dependent upon the things. I worry about terrorists, but I also worry about natural disasters, such as high intensity solar flares and coronal mass ejections. All can wreck a computer network.

 

Well, Thaddeus

[TalonRider]

Why do I get the feeling that you're going to make Eric out to be the hero of the story? Could it be your always telling us this,

 

And poor Eric is sure getting a bum rap, isn't he? Well, now we know why the baddies are dealing with a Police officer's son: the Keylogger on Dad's computer, and the inside line to what the cops are up to.

 

Would this be a good place to repeat my "Poor, misunderstood Eric" line?

 

Jan

[Altimexis]

Great chapter, but . . .

 

Chris is a college freshman. He's premed and far from in medical school just yet. He hasn't learned anything medical yet. Nada. El Zippo. He knows about as much about arterial blood versus venous blood as someone off the street. If he knows anything about applying pressure to stop the bleeding or about the exit wound being larger than the entry wound, he probably picked it up from watching ER.

 

Steve's father undoubtedly has more training about stopping bleeding that Chris at this point and unless his department is totally inept, the last thing he would do would be to leave someone bleeding from an arterial wound while he went for help from someone untrained.

 

I seem to remember mentioning something about this in a private email - not in so much detail, but the bit about how limited Chris' knowledge and training would be was definitely in there.

 

The bottom line is, listen to your editors. :king:

[C James]

Great chapter, but . . .

 

Chris is a college freshman. He's premed and far from in medical school just yet. He hasn't learned anything medical yet. Nada. El Zippo. He knows about as much about arterial blood versus venous blood as someone off the street. If he knows anything about applying pressure to stop the bleeding or about the exit wound being larger than the entry wound, he probably picked it up from watching ER.

 

I agree he won't have learned anything medical in school just yet, but surely anyone going to college for any career would have some interest in said career? Enough to have read a book or two, at the very least?

 

But, all I indicated that he knows is that arterial blood is red, and spurts. Surely anyone, medical student or not, would know that?

Just out of curiosity, is there anyone reading this who didn't know that?

 

It doesn't indicate that he knows an exit wound is larger; he's just observing. Which would was the entry would would be obvious from the gun at the officer's hip (and likly a bullet hole in the holster, but I didn't cover that in the text). Also, anyone who has fired a gun at a solid target (wood, fruit, water jugs, anything) would know that an exit wound would be larger.

 

Steve's father undoubtedly has more training about stopping bleeding that Chris at this point and unless his department is totally inept, the last thing he would do would be to leave someone bleeding from an arterial wound while he went for help from someone untrained.

 

Agreed! BUT, would Steve's father know that Chris, a pre-med student, would have had no medical training? Or would he make the same mistake I did and assume that a pre-med would know something about medicine? He didn't leave the officer alone though; the wounded officer's partner was with him.

 

:-)

[shadowgod]

I agree he won't have learned anything medical in school just yet, but surely anyone going to college for any career would have some interest in said career? Enough to have read a book or two, at the very least?

 

But, all I indicated that he knows is that arterial blood is red, and spurts. Surely anyone, medical student or not, would know that?

Just out of curiosity, is there anyone reading this who didn't know that?

 

It doesn't indicate that he knows an exit wound is larger; he's just observing. Which would was the entry would would be obvious from the gun at the officer's hip (and likly a bullet hole in the holster, but I didn't cover that in the text). Also, anyone who has fired a gun at a solid target (wood, fruit, water jugs, anything) would know that an exit wound would be larger.

Agreed! BUT, would Steve's father know that Chris, a pre-med student, would have had no medical training? Or would he make the same mistake I did and assume that a pre-med would know something about medicine? He didn't leave the officer alone though; the wounded officer's partner was with him.

 

:-)

 

OK blood and gunshots aside....

 

Blackheart ??

 

honestly what kind of chap uses the name Blackheart? I find this story no longer credible

 

now back to fighting with a chapter (notice the black eye? yes the chapter is winning)

[C James]

Blackheart ??

 

honestly what kind of chap uses the name Blackheart? I find this story no longer credible

 

now back to fighting with a chapter (notice the black eye? yes the chapter is winning)

 

Ahhh, yes, the notorious (and somewhat vain ) hacker Blackheart...

 

I looked at it, and the incomprehension must have been plain on my face, because Dex sighed, and explained, "It is a black and white image of the three of hearts. Hearts are a red suit, but this is a black heart. Get it? Blackheart. That's his pseudonym, and he's one of the most notorious black-hat hackers on the net

 

Well now... I have it on good authority that a certain writer by the name of Blackheart is hosted over at Crvboy... However, here at GA he goes by none other than "shdowgod"... But I'm quite sure that this is entirely coincidental.

[Jack Frost]

Oh my.

 

As usual, I'm not a good commenter, but I can say I like...

[old bob]

Hi CJ,

Congrat for all the technical PC stuff you brought in your story

Its real impressive !

You are like a spider weaving her web with more wires in each chapter and I like your comment about following the posts of your readers to put new ideas in the story. One suggestion from me : why not a fun club of "Chase and Shawn" ? It could perhaps help in chasing the "Reverend Thaddeus" club .

and once again a cliffhanger with guns !!!!

I like it.

[Graeme]

Since I'm coming in late, there's not much more I can say. On the pre-med stuff, Chris would almost certainly have had basic and probably advanced first aid training at some point -- it's the sort of thing some people do. While Steve's dad has probably had the same training, I don't know how often they are required to refresh their qualifications. It IS feasible that Chris would be marginally more knowledgeable on what to do.

 

The computer stuff -- I hadn't thought of a USB extender, but I did realise that the camera's in Chris's apartment weren't simply connected to Eric's computer.

 

Believeability... I'm having trouble reconciling the porn site with the rest of the stuff being revealed. Someone in the criminal organisation that Eric appears to be involved with would NOT want any risk of their tap into the police system being discovered. Running a porn site from the same computer as the keylogger transfer, or even running it by the same person who is doing the go-between for the keylogger stuff... well, it's a risk that someone should have had enough smarts to stop.

 

Now that could be good -- if they are that greedy or willing to take that much of a risk for what is really a small gain (if the camera gear cost thousands as Dex said, then the web site would have to be VERY successful or up for more than a few months to make a decent amount of money), then that's good news for our heroes.

[Bondwriter]

This chapter brought some heated debate! As for the first aid issue, it didn't shock me as I read. Having taken a little training, I hope I could stop someone from bleeding to death in such a situation. I think it's a narrative trick to make Chris look good, and the Lonesome Valley Police bad.

 

Sorry Emoe, if you happen to be an articulate geek. I guess some people in every trade will realize that using jargon will keep them from being able to work in good intelligence with others.Just my experience with computer specialists, but then it's yet another stereotype, isn't it?

 

Believeability... I'm having trouble reconciling the porn site with the rest of the stuff being revealed. Someone in the criminal organisation that Eric appears to be involved with would NOT want any risk of their tap into the police system being discovered. Running a porn site from the same computer as the keylogger transfer, or even running it by the same person who is doing the go-between for the keylogger stuff... well, it's a risk that someone should have had enough smarts to stop.

 

Now that could be good -- if they are that greedy or willing to take that much of a risk for what is really a small gain (if the camera gear cost thousands as Dex said, then the web site would have to be VERY successful or up for more than a few months to make a decent amount of money), then that's good news for our heroes.

 

I thought the same thing when they discovered the cameras. But then I expect more revelations, and an even more complex web of misdeeds behind all this. It seems Chris and Steve are up against a particularly nasty opponent, or set of opponents. But many criminals are either arrogant or stupid, or both, and that's how they get caught. And the last thing we'd want is the bad guys to win at the end, despite CJames' claims not to yield into clich

[old bob]

(Old Bob, always the peaceful Swiss citizen, exclaimed:)

and once again a cliffhanger with guns !!!!

I like it.

Hey Fran

[Graeme]

Sorry Emoe, if you happen to be an articulate geek. I guess some people in every trade will realize that using jargon will keep them from being able to work in good intelligence with others.Just my experience with computer specialists, but then it's yet another stereotype, isn't it?

Is this an appropriate time to say that I'm a computer professional, too?

[C James]

Hi CJ,

Congrat for all the technical PC stuff you brought in your story

Its real impressive !

You are like a spider weaving her web with more wires in each chapter and I like your comment about following the posts of your readers to put new ideas in the story. One suggestion from me : why not a fun club of "Chase and Shawn" ? It could perhaps help in chasing the "Reverend Thaddeus" club .

and once again a cliffhanger with guns !!!!

I like it.

 

Thanks!

I do occasionally take advice and suggestions (and I always welcome them!) I admit that I do so rarely, but two ideas that I'd like to give credit for that were used in the story came from shdowgod, my anonymous Beta Reader; He suggested both Eric's ruse about claiming to be gay to try and sway Chris and Steve, and also the booby-trapped data stick (I'd originally intended to get to where that leads another way, but I liked his way better).

 

In another example, someone (I can't recall whom) asked in the thread, way back around Ch 6, about Steve's background, and that lead indirectly to me writing the "Don't **** it up this time, blondie" line at the pool party, and that casued the whole "race with the Devil" Jeep-chase scenario. I guess the mind works in mysterious ways, and my mind is stranger than most.

 

I didn't mean for the ending of this chapter to be much of a cliffhanger; just sort of an open question (He's holding the guns safely, but for reasons unknown).

 

Believeability... I'm having trouble reconciling the porn site with the rest of the stuff being revealed. Someone in the criminal organisation that Eric appears to be involved with would NOT want any risk of their tap into the police system being discovered. Running a porn site from the same computer as the keylogger transfer, or even running it by the same person who is doing the go-between for the keylogger stuff... well, it's a risk that someone should have had enough smarts to stop.

 

This is a VERY good point, and all I can say is that Graeme is right; it is incongruous behavior. I was hoping someone would spot that. Good one, Graeme!

 

I thought the same thing when they discovered the cameras. But then I expect more revelations, and an even more complex web of misdeeds behind all this. It seems Chris and Steve are up against a particularly nasty opponent, or set of opponents. But many criminals are either arrogant or stupid, or both, and that's how they get caught. And the last thing we'd want is the bad guys to win at the end, despite CJames' claims not to yield into clich