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    Mark Arbour
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Flux - 39. Chapter 39

p style="text-align:center;">Heureux jour de bastille, 2014!

August 2, 2002

Boston

 

Matt

 

I lay in bed, fighting against waking up from my nap, because I was so enjoying feeling Wade next to me. I let my mind drift back to the first time we’d done this, and how awesome it had been. It still was. I gently stroked his back, even as I pulled him closer, relishing the feel of his skin. I’d thought that I’d never be like this with Wade again, I didn’t think we’d ever be together; yet here he was, his body molded to mine. I forced my negative thoughts aside and heard him murmur contentedly as he sank further into me.

As my mind came out of its hazy sleep mode, I began to wonder what exactly Wade was doing. I mean, he’d dumped me, and dumped me hard in Paris, yet here he was, in a Boston hotel room with me, in bed. I wondered if he was naked like I was, so I let my hand move down his back to his ass, and found out that he was. He’d come into my room, and gotten into bed with me, naked? I was more confused now than ever.

Only my movements had woken him up. “Mmmm,” he said, almost purring.

“Hey baby,” I said, because he pretended to be irritated when I called him that, even though he wasn’t.

“Hey,” he said. “Is this OK?”

“You mean the fact that you came into my hotel room and hopped into bed with me naked?” I asked, chuckling. “Fuck yeah, it’s OK.”

He laughed at that. “It’s not your room, it’s our room. I hope you don’t mind sharing.” He’d gotten us a suite with one king size bed? I had the feeling I was being seduced, not that I minded.

“I don’t mind at all.”

He slid over so he was on top of me, with his hard dick pressing against mine. “I want you,” he cooed into my ear. God, he knew how to excite me.

“Dude, I can’t do that. The risk is too high,” I said, forcing myself to have a moment of clarity.

He pulled out a condom and slid it over my cock, then slathered lube on it. “We’ll be safe,” he said. I wanted to say no, but I couldn’t. I wanted to push him off of me, to save him, but that took more willpower than I had, than I’d probably ever have. He held my dick steady, even as he lowered himself down onto me. “Oh yeah. That’s so good.”

He’d been trying to get me fired up, and I’d been holding back, but now I just became unhinged. I grabbed his hips and pounded into him, then pulled out, pushed him onto his back, bent his legs back almost over his head, and plowed back inside of him. I knew his body so well, probably as well as I knew my own. And I knew his mood. He didn’t want a loving experience; he wanted me to fuck his brains out. I guess Alex hadn’t figured out how to do that yet, or didn’t do it right. For some reason, that made things so much better.

I pinned his arms back over his head with my left arm, then pinched his nipples with my right hand, even as I fucked him, using hard, long strokes, but going slowly enough so I didn’t blow too soon. “Tell me how much you like having my cock up your ass!” I ordered with a sneer.

“I fucking love it,” he cried, then moaned even more loudly. On and on we went, and it was so intense there was sweat pouring off our bodies. “Make me cum,” he begged.

“Anything for you baby,” I said, and picked up my pace, even as I backed off him enough that I could stroke his dick.

“Gonna cum!” he shouted. Damn. He was really into this. “Gonna fucking cum!” And then he did, blasting his load all over his chest and abdomen. I was a pretty volume shooter, so when I came, I could damn near drench someone. Wade didn’t normally blow like that, but he did this time.

“You are so fucking hot,” I said. I made to pull out, but he stopped me.

“Keep going,” he said breathlessly. “You feel so good inside me. So good.” And that did it. If he’d had the orgasm of his life, mine was just about the same. I blasted and blasted and blasted into the condom, until I was spent. Then I freaked out, realizing how dangerous this was, and carefully pulled out of him, making sure not to let the condom slip off. “I need a shower,” he said.

“In a minute,” I said, then I sensuously licked the cum off his body, and sucked the last bit out of his cock, making him chuckle as I did.

He pulled me up so I was lying on top of him, and wrapped his arms and legs around me, making me feel so loved. “You are the most amazing lover.”

“Thanks,” I said, and could feel myself blushing. “You’re not too bad yourself.”

“Not too bad?” he asked, even as he smiled. “What the fuck?”

“You were incredible,” I said, and gave him another nice kiss. We lay there, just enjoying the afterglow, until curiosity overwhelmed me. “You’re confusing the fuck out of me.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, and gave me a loving but apologetic look.

“You know, you used to give me shit about the roller coaster ride, but I don’t think anything I’ve done is this bad,” I told him, unable to hide my bitterness. “One minute we’re in Hawaii, enjoying the shit out each other, then we go to England and it’s just as good. Then you meet Alex, totally blow me off, then come to Paris and dump me like a rock. Now here we are in Boston, sharing a hotel room, having incredible sex. Tie this together for me.”

“Kind of makes me a hypocrite,” he said, acknowledging that he was spinning me up and down some pretty steep emotional hills. “I need to talk to you about all of this, but I don’t want to upset you.”

“I’d like it if you didn’t upset me too,” I said, smiling. “You’re asking me to be patient with you.”

“I am,” he said. “I don’t want to lead you on, and I need you to understand that I’m really into Alex.”

“Do you love him?” I asked.

“I’m not sure,” he said. “I think I could.”

“Then why are you here with me?” I didn’t understand him at all. If he loved Alex, or wanted to love Alex, why was he having sex with me?

“I thought you probably needed someone to show you that you were loved, and to make you feel like you weren’t a pariah.”

“So this was a mercy fuck?” I asked, getting a little fired up.

“There was supposed to be some patience involved,” he said, chiding me. “Being with you is never a mercy fuck.”

“So you were putting yourself out there, risking your life, to make me feel better?” I had to bite back the tears, thinking that he’d do something like that for me.

“I’m putting myself out there to make us both feel better,” he said. “I’m not risking my life. Being positive isn’t a death sentence anymore. And the risks are pretty low as long as we’re safe.”

“That was a nice thing for you to do,” I said. “It worked. I feel better.”

He laughed, and then got serious. “In Paris, I told you that I couldn’t sleep with you, even though Alex was OK with it. He and I made a commitment to only be with each other, but you were the big exception.”

“So does that mean I get to sleep with both of you?” I joked. I could sense this was a tough conversation for him, so I was trying to keep things light.

“You can try,” he said, shaking his head at me. “Alex and I connect on almost every level. There’s almost a serenity between us, because we’re so in sync.”

“Terrific,” I grumbled, even though I didn’t mean to. “Guess if that saying that opposites attract is true, you two are fucked,” I joked, to make up for my first statement.

“We’re compatible in all but one area,” he said. “We don’t really click sexually.”

In the past, that had been the most important thing to me, but suddenly it wasn’t. Maybe the reality of being positive was just now washing over me, and making sex less important. But I managed to keep my mouth shut about that. “How so?”

“Alex is a really caring and gentle lover,” Wade said. It would have really bothered me to hear about this if I didn’t already know that Wade wasn’t enjoying sex with him. “And he’s not real horny.”

“You’re saying he doesn’t satisfy you?” I asked.

“That’s what I’m saying,” he said sadly. Then I got it. Wade was a pretty calm and stoic person, but when it came to sex, he was pretty active. And he liked it when a guy could make him give up control, and take charge during sex. Alex was a fit guy, but Wade could pretty much overpower him if he wanted to. It was hard to see Alex dominating Wade the way I did.

“I’m probably going to fuck this up, but I’ll say it anyway. So what you’re saying is that you’re really into Alex, and that he’s the perfect guy for you, so much better than I was or am, but that he can’t get you off. So you still need me around for that.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he snapped, getting pissed off at me.

“I thought that patience thing went both ways,” I said calmly.

“I guess it does,” he said, giving me a slight smile. That expression faded, and he got serious again. “You’re telling me I make you feel like an escort.”

“Look, it’s really flattering that you guys made room for me in your relationship, and it’s a real ego boost for you to tell me that you want to keep fucking me because no one gets you off like I do.”

“But?”

“But it’s also pretty sad, like you don’t really like the person that I am, and so you had to go out and find someone else.”

“Come on Matt. You know it’s not like that. I’ve loved you for the past four years. I still do.” He stroked my face lovingly. “I can see why you’d be confused, and feel like I don’t love you, because I really treated you like shit.”

“When we were in Hawaii, you told me that you thought we had an 80% chance of being together in five years. When you met Alex, I felt like the odds just plummeted, and in Paris, I wouldn’t have even given us a 10% chance.”

“Ask me again,” he said.

“Ask you what?”

“Ask me what I think our chances of being together in five years are.”

“Alright,” I said, smiling. “On a scale of one to ten, with ten being for sure we’ll be together and one being there’s probably no fucking way, where do you see us in five years?”

“Eight,” he said, the same answer he’d given me in Hawaii.

“Dude, I don’t get it,” I said. “You are so into Alex it’s scary.”

“I really like him, he’s really sweet, and he’s got so many amazing qualities. I’m enjoying him right now.”

“But what if you fall in love with him, more than you already have, and more than you love me?”

He sighed at my insecurities. “Do you see Alex and me going down this road where we end up all but married, and living happily ever after?”

“Yeah, I can see that,” I said. “That’s why this has been so hard on me, and that’s why I don’t see how you can give us an eight. I see how you two are when you’re together. It’s like you’re perfect for each other.”

“When I first got into Alex, I didn’t really look at things very carefully. I didn’t think about what us being together meant, or what it would be like. And I didn’t stop and look at things from his point of view. It wasn’t until I left England this morning that the spell was broken, and I had a chance to look at things logically.”

“I don’t understand.” He was confusing the shit out of me again.

“The best analogy I can give you is that it was like I was at a party, drunk off my ass, and now I’m suddenly sober,” he said.

“So it was like there was some magic spell Alex cast on you?” I asked with a smile.

“In a way, he kind of did. We click on so many different levels, but it would never work,” he said. I just waited for him to explain it to me. “Alex has one major obligation to his family. He has to produce an heir. He can’t do that with me.”

“He can try,” I joked.

“He can,” Wade said, grinning. “And even though he’s admitted to me that he’s bisexual, he’s not going to be able to do that publicly.”

“I thought he was just waiting to make sure you two were solid before he did that.”

“That’s what he says, but it’s not true. He’s too honest to lie to me about it, so I think that he must be deluding himself.” I stared at him, asking him with my eyes to make this clear. “He has to have a legitimate heir, and that means he has to be married.”

“He can find some woman to be his beard,” I said.

“In his world, it doesn’t work like that. He’s expected to marry someone like him, someone from his background. Those women don’t need a title, because their father probably already has one. And they aren’t willing to just be a beard.”

“Doesn’t that bother you?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “It kind of does, but I think it’s just how things are. Alex is great for me, and I’m great for him. He’s opened doors in Britain that would have been closed to me, and I’ll be able to do the same thing for him here in the US. Plus I’ve got a house that will be kick ass if I can get the fucking contractors to get their jobs done, and that means he’s got a cool and free place to stay. He and I make a good couple, and we’ll be able to support each other.”

“So what happens a couple of years from now, when you’ve fallen hopelessly in love with him, and he’s fallen hopelessly in love with you, and he decides to say fuck it, and not fulfill his obligation to marry some society chick?”

“It still won’t work,” he said. “Some people can move to a different country and be fine with it. Alex has told me about other aristocrats who live abroad, and his own father is in South Africa. But Alex isn’t like that. I can’t see him leaving England for anything. I really can’t.”

“You could go with him,” I said nervously.

“No,” he said. “My ties to the US are just as strong as his ties to England, and maybe even stronger in one regard. It’s important to me that I raise Riley to be an American, and to appreciate his heritage. I need to raise him here.”

“So you’re saying Alex is a placeholder for you?”

“I’m saying that right now, the romance with Alex is really cool, and I’m enjoying that feeling of falling in love with someone, and so is he. But in the end, there really isn’t a way for us to be more than really good friends.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me that in Paris? If you would have explained this to me, I would have been able to deal with it so much better.” I was pretty pissed about that, because he had put me through hell.

“Because I didn’t have this all figured out yet. Things were so new, and I was so into it, that I wasn’t thinking clearly. It wasn’t until I stepped back and looked at things that all of this made sense.” I could hear the sadness in his voice, of having his dream busted. Alex must be like a drug for him, and when he’s around Alex, he lives in a love-induced haze. When he flew over here and got away from him, it must have been like it was for an addict who dried out.

“That’s what convinced me you were really falling for this guy. You acted completely out of character.”

“I did,” he agreed. “And the other reason that I was an asshole in Paris was because I was so overwhelmed with guilt over hurting you, that I lashed out at you instead.”

“Dude that is totally fucked up.”

“I know,” he said. “The first night I got together with Alex, he came up and held my hands, just like you did in the apartment. I don’t know why, but when you did the same thing, it really freaked me out.”

“It killed me to think of you with him,” I admitted. “Even when I was on my way to Paris, I took the long way, because I just couldn’t stand to face everyone and tell them about it.”

I was really surprised when a tear fell out of his right eye. Wade was such a rock, so to see him crying, that told me how badly he felt about this, and how sorry he was for hurting me. “I don’t know if this matters, but I didn’t fuck him until after we talked in Paris.”

“You said you slept with him,” I accused.

“I did. We messed around, blowing each other or jacking each other off, but we didn’t fuck. Not until I got back.” That didn’t really make things better now, but it might later, when I thought about it.

“How’s that supposed to make me feel?”

“Matt, I’ve only done this once before, where I totally lost it, and did stupid-ass shit because I was really into someone.”

“When?”

He rolled his eyes at me. “When I met you. Don’t you remember what a total idiot I was? How I ran off to the library instead of just staying with you, because you found out I liked you? How I slept with those hos when we were out at parties?”

“You’re trying to tell me you love him that much, as much as you loved me?” He was just making me feel worse now.

“I don’t love him as much as I love you,” he said, emphasizing the present tense. “I don’t know if I love him at all. I know I’m infatuated with him, but I don’t know if it’s love. Like I said, I have fun with him, and we’re good together.”

“Until you fuck,” I said, much too bitterly.

He sighed. “I’m here, trying to tell you how sorry I am for hurting you. How it’s eating at me like a cancer. And I’m trying to tell you how much I love you, because I do.” He leaned up and kissed me. “This deal with Alex is fun. It’s exciting. But it’s not what we have.”

He was making it sound like Alex was just a temporary fling, the kind of guy he could enjoy for a while, but then it would be over. If I believed him, and I wasn’t sure that I did, then his relationship with Alex should make me happy. This whole thing was just too fucked up. It was kind of like that deal with me and Tony, and Wade and Brad. And just like that, where it had fucked up all of our lives for a long time, it was time to seal it off, write off the bad feelings, and move on. It was time for closure.

“Here’s where I’m at. I really fucked you over after 9-11. And I really messed up when I tried to sleep with you last Christmas. But this has been really fucking tough on me, so from where I’m standing, I’d say we’re even.” I wasn’t sure what kind of reaction I’d get from him, but the smile he hit me with sure as fuck wasn’t it.

He held out his hand. “We’re even. And that means no guilt.”

Then I got what he was doing, and smiled back just as broadly. “No guilt.” Then I got sad again, and he looked at me curiously. “I’m not even sure how much longer I’ll have. Or even if I do live, how healthy I’ll be. What if I end up in a hospital, hooked up to machines?”

“The last time that happened, I was there for you,” he said. “If it happens, I’ll be there for you again.” Instead of trying to address my paranoia, and irrational fears about HIV, he’d said he’d be there for me, no matter what happened. I was overcome with emotions, and made love to him again, only this time it was even more sincere, and more desperate.

“We definitely need a shower now,” I joked when we were done. “Thanks for showing me how much you care about me.”

“I love you,” he said. “That hasn’t changed, and it’s not going to. Not even if you end up really sick.”

“It could happen,” I said morosely.

“We’ve fought this before,” he said. “Remember when you were sick, and Jack thought that you might have strep, leukemia, or AIDS?” Then he completely froze up on me. When I looked into his eyes, I could see his brain functioning like a computer as it frantically processed information.

“What?” He was freaking me out.

“What kind of test did they use on you, for HIV?” He asked that question like a prosecutor would ask a witness in court.

“I don’t know,” I said dismissively.

“Was it an ELISA test?” he demanded.

That sounded like what they’d told me. “I think that was it.”

“You need to call Jack.”

“Why?”

“Because they gave you one of those when you were in the hospital, and your antibodies completely fucked it up. You got a false positive.”

“So?” I didn’t get what he was talking about.

“Maybe it’s the same thing. Maybe your body generates false-positives on an ELISA test,” he said.

“Yeah, but I’m not sick now like I was back then.”

He pulled out his phone, totally focused. “If you won’t call him, I will.”

 

August 2, 2002

Teterboro Airport, NJ

Brad

 

I waited impatiently for my plane to pull up to the terminal. As soon as it did, one of the ground-crewmen zipped me out to it in a glorified golf cart. I would have just walked out there, but I still had a big suitcase from my trip to Paris, so I relented and graciously accepted the ride. The door opened and the stairs lowered, and I saw Will peering out, and then hurrying down the stairs when he saw me.

I had been pretty annoyed with him, but I’d largely worked my way out of that, especially after Stef had busted my balls about the same thing last night. He’d asked me in a pretty pointed way how I’d feel if Will followed my lead on this and was secretive about being tested. “Hey there! Welcome to your plane!” he said, and gave me a big hug.

“It’s good to see you,” I told him. We climbed up the stairs and settled into our seats. The pilot came back to talk to me, even as the Gulfstream’s engines were fired up again.

“Mr. Schluter, we’re going to run into FAA hour limits on this flight to Hawaii. Our plan is to stop in Palo Alto and get a relief flight crew,” he said. That made sense, since Palo Alto was the home base for the plane.

“I understand,” I said. He left us, and the plane started taxiing shortly after that. We were airborne in no time at all, which I thought was pretty miraculous for the New York area.

“How’s Matt?” I asked Will.

“He’s pretty depressed, but he was kind of excited to see Wade.”

“That was a surprise,” I said. I didn’t get why Wade, who had been doing nothing but pushing Matt away, would suddenly ask him to come to Boston to be with him.

“It was,” he said. “Hopefully Wade won’t fuck him over again.”

“We can hope,” I said. “They’re doing some confirmation tests for HIV?” He nodded. “When are those supposed to be done?”

“Who knows,” he said. “In the meantime, it’s totally blown Matt’s confidence. Cam bailed on him yesterday, which was pretty fucking raw. If Wade plays more bullshit games with Matt, he’ll probably turn him into jello.”

“I think Wade will make sure he doesn’t hurt Matt.”

“What do you base that on?” he asked. He was pretty pissed off about this. “He’s done that pretty much non-stop since he met Alex.”

“Let’s see if he learned how to do better,” I said. I knew Wade was beating himself up with a lot of guilt, but I also knew that he’d get how vulnerable Matt was. I couldn’t help but think that he was doing this to try and reach out and help Matt.

“So why are you going to Maui?” he asked.

“To surf,” I said, which wasn’t really the reason, but it was a nice benefit. “What did you do in Chicago?”

“Saw the city,” he said, the same kind of dismissive answer I’d given him. It sometimes irritated me that he was so smart. He wasn’t going to open up to me unless I opened up to him.

“Surfing is only part of the reason. The other reason is to see Scott Slater.”

“Why are you going to see him?”

I sighed, knowing I’d have to explain everything to him. “I was a dick to him, and I need to apologize.”

“By sleeping with him?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Probably,” I said, as if it were some great effort.

“You don’t sound very pumped up about it. Is he a bum lay?”

“I haven’t slept with him for a really long time, since I was in college, but based on how good he was then, I doubt he’s a bum lay.”

“I figured you’d be pretty stoked about finally getting some,” he said, teasing me.

“Who says I haven’t been getting any?” I challenged, then immediately regretted it, knowing that he’d figure out who I slept with, and he did.

“So you finally hooked up with Chris Mendoza?” I frowned at him. “Dude, he’s smoking hot. You can’t look unhappy about that. Unless he was a bum lay too?”

“No, he wasn’t a bum lay. He was pretty fucking impressive,” I said, smiling. I’d finally given myself permission to let Chris fuck me. It had been worth waiting for. Damn.

“I’m glad,” he said, smiling at me. “So why aren’t you excited to see Scott?”

“I’m excited about it; I’m just not excited about the talk I have to have before we fuck. It’s another deal where I have to apologize for being such a douchebag, and face the fact that I hurt all these people I love.” I sighed again. “That probably makes me sound even worse. I know I have to do it, but it isn’t fun.”

“You know, after you fix things with Scott, you’ll pretty much be done with groveling, right?” I thought about what he said, and then smiled. He was reminding me that as painful and annoying as this was, it was almost over. I’d had to deal with Matt, with him, and with Cody. After I dealt with Scott, I’d finally be done.

“I do believe you’re right,” I said, making sure he could hear the appreciation in my voice. “Thanks for reminding me that this is my last hurrah at self-abasement.”

“I don’t think that’s what I said,” he told me playfully. “I think you will have many opportunities in the future to apologize and humble yourself. I think there are limitless options for you to piss people off.” That really cracked me up.

“Good point,” I said. And just like I’d opened up with him, so he opened up to me, and told me about the hot bartender he’d been hanging out with in Chicago. I managed not to get all fired up about the fact that my not-quite-sixteen-year-old son was picking up dudes in Chicago gay bars and fucking them. I was learning to give him some credit for being smart enough to not get into a tough situation, and if he was, to work his way out of it.

I got some work done, while he went back and slept. After we made our pit stop in Palo Alto, I used the flight to Hawaii to get some sleep too. We were both pretty groggy when we landed, and hauled ourselves from the plane into the car. The car whisked us toward my villa, even as we both looked longingly toward Will’s place. My villa was nice, but I had to admit that I liked Will’s house better. Despite that, my main mission was to see Scott, and he was at the villa, so that’s why I went there.

The car pulled up to my villa, I tipped the driver, and we grabbed our bags, and strode confidently into the house. I had expected Scott to be up, kind of waiting for me, since I’d called him when I landed, but he was nowhere to be found.

“I’m going downstairs,” Will said. “I’m going to call Kai. If you’re busy, I’ll leave you a message and let you know what I’m doing.”

“Sounds good,” I said. I put my bag in my room, and then wandered around the house, looking for him. I checked the main rooms, especially the kitchen, then went into his bedroom and found him lying in his bed on his side, stark naked, looking sexy in a sleazy kind of way. I saw him and I just started laughing.

“You’re supposed to think I’m hot, not that I’m funny,” he said, being slightly bitchy.

“I do think you’re hot,” I said, as I walked over to the bed and sat next to him. “I also think you’re funny.”

He smiled at me, and reached up and ran his fingers around my neck, in a very soothing but erotic way. “I can be those things, and more,” he said, being corny.

“So what’s with the reception?”

He sat up, leaning against the headboard. “You’ve treated me like shit. You came here to apologize to me. You’re going to tell me how fucked up you were; only it will go on for a long time.” I scowled at him for giving me shit about being longwinded, which I didn’t think I was. “Then I’ll tell you that I understand, and that I forgive you, but you’ll want to drag that conversation on for a really long time too. Then when we’re done with that, I’m gonna fuck you. So I figured we could just dispense with all that other shit, and go straight to the sex.” He was too funny.

“You know, this is starting to freak me out,” I said to him, getting off topic. “The last few times I’ve tried to have one of these long, drawn out, groveling apologies, the person basically tells me what I’m going to say.”

“Maybe that’s because the people you’re apologizing to know the person you are and love you anyway,” he said.

“Maybe,” I said. “Or do you think they can read it in my face? Do you think it’s my eyes that give it away? Or do I twitch my nose or something?” I was messing with him, just continuing to make inane conversation, but he didn’t get that until I smiled. “Wanna fuck me?”

“Yeah,” he said, with the same tone Will would have said ‘duh’. I took off my clothes and climbed into bed, and wrapped myself around him.

 

August 3, 2002

Maui

 

I woke up, my eyes blinking at the sunlight that flowed into the room through gaps in the curtains. I smiled at Scott, who lay sleeping next to me. We’d fucked, taken a break to bullshit, and then fucked again. Like all things about my relationship with him, sex was both different and familiar. He hadn’t fucked me for a really long time, not since college, so being with him felt kind of familiar, but really different from what I remembered. He was part enthusiastic college fuck, part mature lover, and part straight guy. I noticed the straight guy part when he played with my nipples, treating them like a chick’s. I watched him sleeping, and he looked so angelic and innocent. The thought of that almost made me laugh, but I managed to restrain myself.

I reached down and gently stroked his hard cock, giggling as he moaned and spread his legs wider. He was a pretty sound sleeper, so I managed to slip a condom on him, kneel over him, and slide his dick into my ass before he woke up. “Rise and shine!” I said cheerfully.

“Totally,” he said, with his surfer’s drawl. I slid up and down on his cock, reveling in how good it felt, and how nice it was to be in a cool place with him. He let me go, doing almost what Kevin had done to me the first time we’d fucked, letting me take charge. I knew he was close when he reached up and started stroking my dick. It was impressive that he managed to bring me off right before he came.

“Good timing,” I said, as I leaned in to kiss him. “Now we eat.”

“Then we surf,” he said. It was our common passion, our bond, and actually worked kind of like it did with Will. Even when we were slightly annoyed with each other, we could surf together and it would help bring us closer.

Copyright © 2014 Mark Arbour; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
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Well I am glad that Wade saw all of the challenges that I had mentioned in review several chapters ago.

 

Just love the ongoing verbal sparring between Will and Brad…

 

and lastly the return of Scott Slater tomBrad's bed. I don't think this will really go beyond old friends that have a deep history and benefits have been restored...

 

thank you Mark! BTW - Make sure Jack tells finds that Matt had a false positive. You can treat this as my early Christmas wish/letter, Santa Mark...LOL!

  • Like 3

I love end of weekend surprises! Thank you. I'm glad that Wade is starting to come out of the Alex fog; I struggle with that coupling for more reasons than boring sex. I wonder if the prospect of Matt being sick helps put things into perspective for Wade.

I am proud of Matt for being frank with Wade about his feelings and got a kick that they decided that they were even. While it's a naïve gesture because two wrongs don't make a right, it was equalizing in a very Matt/Wade romantic kinda way.

Lark calling Brad out for being long winded is too funny.

It's funny how even the the story is in flux...the characters seem to be really coming into their own, priming them and us for the next great CAP dramatic snare.

  • Like 3
On 07/14/2014 04:21 PM, KevinD said:
Well I am glad that Wade saw all of the challenges that I had mentioned in review several chapters ago.

 

Just love the ongoing verbal sparring between Will and Brad…

 

and lastly the return of Scott Slater tomBrad's bed. I don't think this will really go beyond old friends that have a deep history and benefits have been restored...

 

thank you Mark! BTW - Make sure Jack tells finds that Matt had a false positive. You can treat this as my early Christmas wish/letter, Santa Mark...LOL!

I think Scott was a good friend when Brad was younger, a shithead when Brad was with Robbie, but now they both seem to have matured, and hopefully they can have a healthy friendship. What is cool about Scott is that he knows Brad well enough to tell him what the deal is: he isn't intimidated by him.
  • Like 3
On 07/14/2014 04:23 PM, Miles Long said:
I love end of weekend surprises! Thank you. I'm glad that Wade is starting to come out of the Alex fog; I struggle with that coupling for more reasons than boring sex. I wonder if the prospect of Matt being sick helps put things into perspective for Wade.

I am proud of Matt for being frank with Wade about his feelings and got a kick that they decided that they were even. While it's a naïve gesture because two wrongs don't make a right, it was equalizing in a very Matt/Wade romantic kinda way.

Lark calling Brad out for being long winded is too funny.

It's funny how even the the story is in flux...the characters seem to be really coming into their own, priming them and us for the next great CAP dramatic snare.

I think Wade and Matt telling each other they're even is actually a very healthy thing. It lets them both put the guilt, and the anger/pain, for the various sins they've committed against each other, in the past. I think that if Wade wouldn't have done what he did with Alex, and hurt Matt like he did, a basic imbalance would have persisted in their relationship.
  • Like 3
On 07/14/2014 04:27 PM, Gene63 said:
While I hope Wade is right about the HIV test, I really think he's a dick. He wants his cake and to get to eat it too. He treated Matt like shit in Europe and suddenly, they come back to America, screw, and all's right with the world again?
Actually, that's exactly what happened more or less, and it works in the context of their relationship. They're not committed to each other, so there's no reason Wade can't have an ongoing thing with Alex in Boston. So if you think about it, the only thing Wade really did that was inexcusable was to dump Matt in the middle of their vacation. He came over and apologized for that.
  • Like 3
On 07/14/2014 04:59 PM, Kitt said:
I had forgotten that Matt had tested positive back when his kidneys were being a major issue. You must have one hell of a set of plot notes!

Nice to see Wade coming back to earth. Planet Alex was a nice place to visit for him but he has way too much to lose to try living there.

Thank you for a fantastic way to occupy my mind on an insomnia night.

I'm glad I could help distract you from your insomnia. Planet Alex...LMAO.

 

The way I remember this stuff is that periodically I re-read these stories. In this case, when I knew Matt would be narrating, I went back and read Bloodlines again, just to get a feel for him.

  • Like 3

Wow. I am not sure what to think.I do know that I feel anger. So Wade says he loves Matt. Wade says he is enjoying the feeling of falling in love with Alex and so does Alex. Wade wants to continue having sex with Matt. He says he and Alex make a great couple. The plan is for them to be a couple for a few years in Boston. They make a great couple.Wade is in a love induced haze when he is around Alex.They are so in syncwith each other.They are good support for one another. But it is not what he and Matt have. Wade says there is an 80 percent chance he and Matt will be together in five years.

So I shouldn't be confused? It seems that Wade comes out the clear winner here. He gets everything he wants and gets to use both Matt and Alex. Seems a little cold to me. So here is the mental approach that I am going to take so that I can wrap my head around this. I am first going to assume that Wade means well. There is no calculated aspect to this. I think he is going through a process where he realizes that Alex and him aren't working but he isn't quite ready to let go yet.There may even be a combo pride and shame thing involved in the reluctance to let go. I believe he really means it when he says he loves Matt. I am also going to say he doesn't love Alex because he waffles on the question( he enjoys the feeling of falling in love with Alex...he is not sure if it is love...he calls it infatuation) and appears to be all over the place on this. So if my approach is right and he is in the middle of a process, as in things will get clearer the longer he is away from Alex and spends more time bonding with Matt, then he should quickly become more rational about what he is asking of both Matt and Alex(especially Matt). A rational, clear thinking Wade should come to the realization that his plan for the next few years is totally selfish and unfair to all three of them. Wade stands to lose big time because in real life this would blow up in his face. He has to crap or get off the pot...Matt..or...Alex. The idea of a changeover in a few years is in my mind ridiculous and would be a cold and calculated move. I think as Wade gets farther in the process he will realize that this is beneath him. Can anyone really see Matt being happy in such a situation. Either Matt is good enough for Wade in everyway or he is not. I am going to trust that Wade will get there and figure that out.

On a different note I feel real hope that Matt had a false positive...please let it be so.

Thanks for the early posting Mark!

  • Like 3
On 07/14/2014 05:28 PM, Headstall said:
Wow. I am not sure what to think.I do know that I feel anger. So Wade says he loves Matt. Wade says he is enjoying the feeling of falling in love with Alex and so does Alex. Wade wants to continue having sex with Matt. He says he and Alex make a great couple. The plan is for them to be a couple for a few years in Boston. They make a great couple.Wade is in a love induced haze when he is around Alex.They are so in syncwith each other.They are good support for one another. But it is not what he and Matt have. Wade says there is an 80 percent chance he and Matt will be together in five years.

So I shouldn't be confused? It seems that Wade comes out the clear winner here. He gets everything he wants and gets to use both Matt and Alex. Seems a little cold to me. So here is the mental approach that I am going to take so that I can wrap my head around this. I am first going to assume that Wade means well. There is no calculated aspect to this. I think he is going through a process where he realizes that Alex and him aren't working but he isn't quite ready to let go yet.There may even be a combo pride and shame thing involved in the reluctance to let go. I believe he really means it when he says he loves Matt. I am also going to say he doesn't love Alex because he waffles on the question( he enjoys the feeling of falling in love with Alex...he is not sure if it is love...he calls it infatuation) and appears to be all over the place on this. So if my approach is right and he is in the middle of a process, as in things will get clearer the longer he is away from Alex and spends more time bonding with Matt, then he should quickly become more rational about what he is asking of both Matt and Alex(especially Matt). A rational, clear thinking Wade should come to the realization that his plan for the next few years is totally selfish and unfair to all three of them. Wade stands to lose big time because in real life this would blow up in his face. He has to crap or get off the pot...Matt..or...Alex. The idea of a changeover in a few years is in my mind ridiculous and would be a cold and calculated move. I think as Wade gets farther in the process he will realize that this is beneath him. Can anyone really see Matt being happy in such a situation. Either Matt is good enough for Wade in everyway or he is not. I am going to trust that Wade will get there and figure that out.

On a different note I feel real hope that Matt had a false positive...please let it be so.

Thanks for the early posting Mark!

I don't see it that way at all. When they were in college, Matt and Wade both were able to see other people. In fact, Wade had a mini-relationship with Sean, his lawyer. If that would have blossomed, I think it would have been somewhat similar to what Wade is experiencing now.

 

So what is Wade really doing wrong? He's telling Matt that he loves him, but they're destined to be apart for two years. So for that two years, or as long as Wade and Matt don't have any formal commitments, Wade and Matt can maintain their long-distance bond, but still have someone closer to home for companionship. In Wade's case, it will probably be Alex. Matt may or may not settle on Cam, but he's a possibility.

 

So I don't see why Wade is the one who wants to have his cake and eat it too, when he's just living within the boundaries of their relationship, and he's not doing anything that Matt isn't (or won't be) doing. If they had a formal commitment, this would be different, but they don't.

  • Like 3

Robbie has lost his crown as "emotional roller coaster king" and not to Wade (a close second) but to Mark Arbour. Bloody hell - what just happened? You are a damn good writer - a complete bastard for taking me on this ride but a damn good writer.

I think I am still as confused as Matt but it is good to hear that the fog is starting to lift. This is a good start however I'm not sure if I really like what Wade is saying about him and Alex. The admitted infatuation doesn't seem to be passionate somehow. It lacks soul. Wade compared it to when he and Matt got together - I agree the lunacy is there but not the passion. Wade uses words like "compatible" and "in sync". The most emotive words are "I'm really into Alex". It seems to be more about the chase than the actual relationship. So Wade has a good roommate for the next two years (assuming he can put up with JJ). I'm not feeling the love. He is putting his long-term relationship with Matt at risk for a good roommate and some contacts in the UK. The conversation was a good start - Wade is still a dick but he seems to recognise that and maybe just maybe is moving in the right direction.

Matt should not settle for Cam - he can do better :P

And I love Scott/Lark's "cut to the chase" comments - a real laugh out loud moment. I can see the look on Brad's face. That got a big smile here. Brad needs more of this sort of thing - someone to provide some grounding outside the family.

  • Like 3

Truly enjoyed this chapter, the writing was excellent.

 

Hope Wade is right about the test being like the one that Matt took when he was sick before and come back as a false positive. I am going to hang my hat on that one. Still not fully happy with Wade, although he explained himself a little better here. I can see and understand his attraction to Alex but it is still coming across to much like wanting to have your cake and eat it too... I still would like to see Matt and Wade end up together in the end.

 

Glad to see Brad and Will are back on a more even keel. I do find their fights strangely familiar in some ways to what Brad and JP went through just not quite as much petulance from Will as there was from Brad.

 

I could see Brad and Scott/Lark having more than just an occasional encounter. Scott has been in Brad's life long enough not to be intimidated by him and knows almost as many ways as Will to deflate his ego bubble...

  • Like 3
On 07/14/2014 08:17 PM, Bucket1 said:
Robbie has lost his crown as "emotional roller coaster king" and not to Wade (a close second) but to Mark Arbour. Bloody hell - what just happened? You are a damn good writer - a complete bastard for taking me on this ride but a damn good writer.

I think I am still as confused as Matt but it is good to hear that the fog is starting to lift. This is a good start however I'm not sure if I really like what Wade is saying about him and Alex. The admitted infatuation doesn't seem to be passionate somehow. It lacks soul. Wade compared it to when he and Matt got together - I agree the lunacy is there but not the passion. Wade uses words like "compatible" and "in sync". The most emotive words are "I'm really into Alex". It seems to be more about the chase than the actual relationship. So Wade has a good roommate for the next two years (assuming he can put up with JJ). I'm not feeling the love. He is putting his long-term relationship with Matt at risk for a good roommate and some contacts in the UK. The conversation was a good start - Wade is still a dick but he seems to recognise that and maybe just maybe is moving in the right direction.

Matt should not settle for Cam - he can do better :P

And I love Scott/Lark's "cut to the chase" comments - a real laugh out loud moment. I can see the look on Brad's face. That got a big smile here. Brad needs more of this sort of thing - someone to provide some grounding outside the family.

LOL!

 

I think your comments about Wade's description of his relationship with Alex are key. Wade has been pretty clear to Matt about why he didn't want to get back together with him, something Casey outlined for Matt just as clearly. Wade wants stability and reliability. So when he talks to Matt about Alex, those things come through, because it's not about passion, it's about partnership.

  • Like 3
On 07/14/2014 11:15 PM, Six.Gauge said:
Great chapter! I had forgotten about Matt's previous scare with HIV, so hopefully Jack will be able to let him know what he has to do to get the right test and that it will come back negative!

 

Thanks for the chapter and as usual, I don't want to wait for the next one!

Ah, that's the thing about this whole series. Seemingly irrelevant past fact can pounce out at you at any time. (SMILE)
  • Like 3
On 07/15/2014 02:31 AM, centexhairysub said:
Truly enjoyed this chapter, the writing was excellent.

 

Hope Wade is right about the test being like the one that Matt took when he was sick before and come back as a false positive. I am going to hang my hat on that one. Still not fully happy with Wade, although he explained himself a little better here. I can see and understand his attraction to Alex but it is still coming across to much like wanting to have your cake and eat it too... I still would like to see Matt and Wade end up together in the end.

 

Glad to see Brad and Will are back on a more even keel. I do find their fights strangely familiar in some ways to what Brad and JP went through just not quite as much petulance from Will as there was from Brad.

 

I could see Brad and Scott/Lark having more than just an occasional encounter. Scott has been in Brad's life long enough not to be intimidated by him and knows almost as many ways as Will to deflate his ego bubble...

Great review!

 

I really pondered your comment about Brad:Will vs Brad:JP. I think that where Will is different is that he usually tries to do the right thing, and back it up with as much logic as possible. Brad usually tries to use logic to justify that his point is right. A subtle difference, but I'll bet it's very apparent to JP. That's probably why he has such an affinity toward his grandson.

  • Like 3

Thanks for the last 2 chapters. Now Wade is back as a narator ...and Matt as well, we see more sides of the story.

You did not do that in 9 11 with Matt. So a lot of times we did not see his point of view and ... therefor a lot of times he seemed just an asshole.

Now we see the story from Wade's and Watt's pov and we see the conflicts from both sides. You write (I think) very beautifull about their conflicting feelings and of the love they still feel for each other.

Very convincing for me how you made Wade come back to Matt, let him explain his feelings and also again showing he still loves Matt a lot... and yes... a nice twist after the HIV test ... I hope Wade is right and Matt's antibodies show a false HIV sign.

Also how you devellop Will's character ...

Thanks beautifull writen story... so far ... Chapeau !

  • Like 3

Hi Mark,

 

Thanks for the next chapter of Flux.

 

Fully agree with another review, saying you're a total roller coaster author. Wade and Matt connecting like this again seems to come very fast. I feel some reviews don't give Wade enough credit. He's putting himself out there for Matt, tells him exactly how he feels.

 

Had to giggle at Lark, being the egotistical jackass we know from way back! Can't wait to see what the test will turn up.

 

Keep up the amazing work.

 

Loving cuddles,

Maarten

  • Like 3
On 07/15/2014 10:09 AM, Northern Dutch Guy said:
Thanks for the last 2 chapters. Now Wade is back as a narator ...and Matt as well, we see more sides of the story.

You did not do that in 9 11 with Matt. So a lot of times we did not see his point of view and ... therefor a lot of times he seemed just an asshole.

Now we see the story from Wade's and Watt's pov and we see the conflicts from both sides. You write (I think) very beautifull about their conflicting feelings and of the love they still feel for each other.

Very convincing for me how you made Wade come back to Matt, let him explain his feelings and also again showing he still loves Matt a lot... and yes... a nice twist after the HIV test ... I hope Wade is right and Matt's antibodies show a false HIV sign.

Also how you devellop Will's character ...

Thanks beautifull writen story... so far ... Chapeau !

Thank you very much!

 

I try to avoid putting multiple narrators in a story who are involved with each other romantically. That's why in 9.11, I didn't have Matt's POV, because I didn't want to do a lot of back and forth with him and Wade. With this story, I thought that it was important that we get a cameo appearance by Wade, so I broke my rule.

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