Timmy's Journal - 23. Poetry Prompt 6 - Elegy

deep and beautiful.

I am so happy you have Michael and that he has you.

Your poetry is sweet, beautiful, evocative ... I can close my eyes and see an enjoined pair so full of love, resting at peace, simply content in one another ...

To find such love is truly a blessing! You describe it beautifully.

I am weeping with deep happiness for you as I write this. The beauty of your words, and the depth of their meaning swept over me. What a wonderful way to read into the new year. Thank you, thank you.

Finding a love like you have with Michael (I assume this is about Michael and not just a random poem lol) can be powerful and strengthening. A lovely way to start the New Year.

On 01/01/2016 09:20 PM, Roberto Zuniga said:

deep and beautiful.

Hi Roberto, Thank you for reading and your comments. I'm glad you felt it. It was meant to be both those things. Thanks again, I appreciate your time.

tim

On 01/01/2016 10:42 PM, Reader1810 said:

Hey tim

 

Love the sentiments of this poem...they ring true and are important to maintain the solidness of two being one.

 

As always, nicely done.

Thank you Reader. No one's life is perfect, but some people seem to truly want it enough to make it so! Guess that's what love is, thinking of the other person more than yourself. Thank you for reading...tim

On 01/01/2016 11:04 PM, dughlas said:

I am so happy you have Michael and that he has you.

 

Your poetry is sweet, beautiful, evocative ... I can close my eyes and see an enjoined pair so full of love, resting at peace, simply content in one another ...

Hi dugh. I hope Michael and I will be this couple one day. We are content I think. Things only get boring if you let them and we still have fun together. Thank you for reading and for your comments, I appreciate them.

tim

On 01/01/2016 11:21 PM, Puppilull said:

To find such love is truly a blessing! You describe it beautifully.

Thank you, Puppilull! I'm glad this worked, I changed it one last time seconds before posting it! Thank you for reading it and for your comments. tim

On 01/02/2016 12:42 AM, Parker Owens said:

I am weeping with deep happiness for you as I write this. The beauty of your words, and the depth of their meaning swept over me. What a wonderful way to read into the new year. Thank you, thank you.

Aw, thank you Parker. I'm glad this poem worked for you. I wanted it to be meaningful, a life remembered. Appreciate your comments and support!

tim

On 01/02/2016 01:03 AM, LitLover said:

Finding a love like you have with Michael (I assume this is about Michael and not just a random poem lol) can be powerful and strengthening. A lovely way to start the New Year.

Well, LL, if I'm honest it's not really all Mike and me. It's a remembrance of a shared life. My vision was a 20th anniversary sort of thing. I'm sure my feelings for Michael are mixed up in here and helped me write it.

Thank you for reading and for your comments and support.

tim

Such a beautiful ode, to a love that stood the test of time. I feel your words Tim, so very meaningful..
Great job, sir. Thank you for sharing it...

lovely tim, just lovely

someday I hope to have such remembrances

On 01/02/2016 04:48 AM, Defiance19 said:

Such a beautiful ode, to a love that stood the test of time. I feel your words Tim, so very meaningful..

Great job, sir. Thank you for sharing it...

Thank you Def. I worked sooo hard on this. I've been at it for a while .. and I finally sent to AC yesterday and he made suggestions so I went back to work...for hours and multiple changes right up to 30 seconds before I posted it. It's very hard this form, to make it work. Thanks for letting me know it did. I'm just waiting to see what AC thinks...

tim

On 01/02/2016 07:15 AM, skinnydragon said:

lovely tim, just lovely

 

someday I hope to have such remembrances

Hi sd!! Thank you for your comments. I hope you have them too my friend. I hope I do too. But I don't see Michael and I splitting up .... Appreciate you taking the time to read...

tim

You stayed within the confines of a challenging form, and still created something beautiful. I loved the whole thing, but your second line is truly exquisite. I see and feel the testament to, and the understanding of what love really is... what it entails. Each line gives credence to the next as you tell a story... well done, tim... cheers... Gary....

On 01/02/2016 08:29 AM, Headstall said:

You stayed within the confines of a challenging form, and still created something beautiful. I loved the whole thing, but your second line is truly exquisite. I see and feel the testament to, and the understanding of what love really is... what it entails. Each line gives credence to the next as you tell a story... well done, tim... cheers... Gary....

Oh Gary, thank you. Like I said before I worked so hard on this one and was sooo worried it wouldn't work as I wanted it to. I think it has. I don't know if I'd ever write another, but I enjoying learning the different forms. The challenges are definitely worth it.

Thanks as always for your support Gary. I means a lot.

tim xo

All I can think to say is Beautiful. Loved it

On 01/03/2016 08:56 AM, Caz Pedroso said:

All I can think to say is Beautiful. Loved it

 

Aw Cazzie!! Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed them! I have fun writing them...

tim

I think this poem makes lovely use of the Elegy stanza; it's very personal and vivid too. Tennyson used the confines of the 8-syllable line to paint very vibrant images, and you've done the same here, imo.

Your rhymes seem natural and smooth to me. Part of the challenge of this form is making the b-b rhyme seem natural and too funny-sounding. Usually in English, couplets are good for light verse and amusing moments, but in the Elegy they have to carry a serious note. It's hard to do, and you've done it very well.

Thanks for posting this, and for working your way through all the poetry prompt challenges!

On 01/03/2016 11:27 AM, AC Benus said:

I think this poem makes lovely use of the Elegy stanza; it's very personal and vivid too. Tennyson used the confines of the 8-syllable line to paint very vibrant images, and you've done the same here, imo.

 

Your rhymes seem natural and smooth to me. Part of the challenge of this form is making the b-b rhyme seem natural and too funny-sounding. Usually in English, couplets are good for light verse and amusing moments, but in the Elegy they have to carry a serious note. It's hard to do, and you've done it very well.

 

Thanks for posting this, and for working your way through all the poetry prompt challenges!

Thank you AC. I read this Prompt and thought, wow this is going to be hard and it was. I wrote and re-wrote this piece right up to 30 seconds before I posted it. And again, I appreciate your input and suggestions and especially your encouragement. Thanks again, AC.

tim

You managed to put the theme into a round, full, continuous unity really elegantly. I think it's already been said, but you also managed a pretty natural flow in your words, which I know is difficult to achieve when you have to stick to a specific number of syllables.
I'm really most impressed at how you managed to write this with the 'Remember' theme throughout, without a wee bit of 'loss' or 'death' or any other hint of 'it's over' anywhere. It's through and through positive and optimistic, with absolutely no resentment towards anything at all. But still there are beginning and ending markers that round the poem off. (The vows long ago and the love until time ends.)
Very nice.

On 01/11/2016 04:12 AM, Doctor Oger said:

You managed to put the theme into a round, full, continuous unity really elegantly. I think it's already been said, but you also managed a pretty natural flow in your words, which I know is difficult to achieve when you have to stick to a specific number of syllables.

I'm really most impressed at how you managed to write this with the 'Remember' theme throughout, without a wee bit of 'loss' or 'death' or any other hint of 'it's over' anywhere. It's through and through positive and optimistic, with absolutely no resentment towards anything at all. But still there are beginning and ending markers that round the poem off. (The vows long ago and the love until time ends.)

Very nice.

Sorry I'm late Doctor! Thank you very much for your insightful comments. This one I did spend a lot of time on trying to get it right. I'm glad it worked. Thank you again.

tim

I m no expert but even an amateur like me can also feel the emotion depicted (And trust me that's really something)