Jump to content
  • Join Gay Authors

    Join us for free and follow your favorite authors and stories.

    Krista
  • Author
  • 4,845 Words
  • 7,705 Views
  • 23 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

The Best Year - 9. Chapter 9

Sunday ended up being a wasted day after I left to get lunch. There was no epic escape, no one was out, the town was completely dead. The people at the local McDonald's actually looked thrilled to finally see someone coming into the place to order some food. After getting my food, I didn’t stick around, instead I drove until I found one of the scenic pull offs next to the river that snaked around town. It was just past a bridge, where some drug deals likely took place after dark, it happened enough to make the police news in the paper. The only thing worth reading about really and that was for gossip purposes only.

 

After eating I sighed watching the calm river, I didn’t want to return home. After a couple of minutes though, I was bored enough to start thinking about how shitty some of the last two weeks were. Worse, how some of it was actually fun, those mostly involved Luke as much as I hated to admit it. I wouldn’t to anyone that asked, as far as they knew I was tired of all those church losers, Luke especially. The only times he was fun was when we were pelting one another with paint anyway and that would likely never happen again. I just had to get through the next week or so and Mom and Dad would soften up enough to give me back my life.

 

When Monday rolled around I was looking forward to school. Hopefully by Monday Bailey Ashton’s party would already be forgotten. I planned on topping his party as soon as I could. I’d need Toby and Derek to help me plan the epic night. Probably around prom or graduation. That is where I’d be remembered better. I also got to drive to school, no fucking school bus and no sitting early in the cafeteria with all the underclassmen too young to drive and losers that still rode the bus. So naturally I stepped through the student entrance just as the first warning bell sounded that typically released the kids from the cafeteria to go to their lockers.

 

“There you are,” Ally greeted, I hadn’t been looking for her yet, so I jumped. My bag slid off my shoulder and I caught the strap before it hit the ground.

 

“Hey,” I said raising my arm for her to nestle in close to my side. I draped my arm around her and was rewarded with a kiss on my jawline that sent cold chills shooting through me. I could smell her strawberry lip gloss, it mixed nicely with her perfume. I always liked the smell of Ally, even when we weren’t dating and she was with Toby.

 

“I noticed that you got your car back,” she offered smiling. “That’s a good sign.”

 

“I heard you got grounded, busted by Welker for getting a C,” I countered rolling my eyes. “What’s the deal with that?”

 

“Miss Bartrand sucks, you have Mr. Pot-Head Tuck that doesn’t care,” Ally hissed crossing her arms. “I bet my boobs could get me an A in his class.”

 

“They wouldn’t, I heard he liked dudes,” I argued grimacing when she elbowed me.

 

“I don’t want to talk about my grades, I already got a good long lecture,” she said smiling. “So do you want to hang out after school?”

 

“I can’t,” I said sighing. “I only got my car back because my parents are too busy to drive my ass everywhere.”

 

“Well at least you don’t have to deal with Cindy or her son anymore,” Ally added wrinkling her nose. “I would have picked you up and stuff.”

 

“You need to start doing your homework,” I said grabbing her shoulder so she couldn’t duck under my arm and start bitching at me. “I’m just about free of all this shit, it will suck if I can’t spend more time with you.”

 

“I’m already most of the way caught up, Dad saw to that all weekend,” she huffed crossing her arms. “It’s just that we’ve been skyping and stuff late at night, you know, before you were grounded. I didn’t tell Dad that though.”

 

“Good, because he’d kill my ass,” I countered laughing at the thought of Welker. He’d be more likely to punch himself than to hit me, he just looks like the type. I didn’t like being the reason for her not finishing her assignments either. We both had busy schedules outside of school, but I was still able to get all my shit done on time. I wondered what else was going on with her, but she didn’t seem upset or anything, so it couldn’t have been too bad. Probably girl drama and shit that I wouldn’t want to hear anyway.

 

“He’s all talk,” she said as we stepped up to the lockers we had. Seniors got first pick, so we picked lockers side by side. I drew the line at sharing, thinking that if we ever broke up it would be awkward as hell to still have to share. I wouldn’t give my locker up, it was on top and in the middle of the first floor. It was where people usually congregated if they had a class nearby, so I got a lot of talking done before first period. Toby and Derek both had lockers around here as well, Toby was dumb enough to share with Heather though.

 

“See ya at lunch,” I said finally letting my arm fall from her shoulders. She smiled and waved before hurrying off to her first period Chemistry class in the science wing. It was off by itself on the second floor. Shaking my head I glanced around for Toby or Derek. Not seeing them I opened my locker and grabbed my beat up English textbook and the current novel we were studying and walked down the hall to my first class.

 

It was AP English with the most grammar strict teacher on the planet. There were only fourteen students that qualified for the course. It was a college credit class, so I wouldn’t have to deal with a semester of this shit my freshman year. Right now we were reading Moby Dick in class, so it wasn’t so bad. The only thing I had to be ready for was my turn to read three or four pages. She was a young teacher and still full of herself enough to still care. She liked me though, I was one of the rare guys taking the class. Coach was the reason I took AP placement exams during the summer last year anyway. He wanted me to be overly prepared for college so I could take it easy and practice more. It got both my parents off my back about school as well, I had three, but so far none of them really kicked my ass.

 

After reading some Dick, class ended with me mid-way through a page. I glanced up at the teacher smiling, but I didn’t finish as I closed the book and stood. She reminded us of the upcoming exam and essay.

 

My next class was with Mr. Tuck. Heather and Toby were both in there. They managed to have every class together. He was dedicated, I guess. As much as I liked Ally, seeing her all day would annoy the fuck out of me. I liked talking to other people, but I knew after a quick knuckle punch and ‘hey,’ he’d be nearly drooling down Heather’s neck until Tuck called for the class to start. It didn’t help that Heather liked to toe the line with the dress code and fight the air conditioner. Some girls wore sweatshirts or hoodies all year to stay warm, but Heather shivered her way through Calculus in just a pair of shorts that barely passed the fingertip rule and a tank top that didn’t, but no one ever said anything to her.

 

“Dude,” Toby said as I took my seat in the row next to his. Heather turned around to smile at me before grabbing her homework. Tuck liked to take up the homework first thing so people wouldn’t be working on it while he taught new lessons. So I ripped mine out of my notebook and sat it aside. “Nice seeing you, I thought you could have died.”

 

“Shut up,” I groaned.

 

“Them churchers didn’t string your sinner ass up,” he continued pretending I didn’t say anything.

 

“Some of them want to, I can tell,” I countered smirking when he laughed.

 

“Bon-fire this weekend?” He asked sounding hopeful that I would finally get to hang out with them.

 

“Nah, I think if I play it right I can get off after this weekend,” I answered shrugging. “Sucks ass our senior year and they finally start paying attention.”

 

“My Dad too, he threatened to kick my ass after that phone call from your mom,” he said and I heard Heather snickering in front of him.

 

“I’m glad your mom doesn’t know I’m running around with you,” Heather said glancing at me. I could see goosebumps spreading across her arms. If it were any colder I would expect her lips to turn blue, but Tuck didn’t keep the air as low as most teachers. He also didn’t care if we brought snacks, since he always was munching on a bag of chips or something as he blinked his bloodshot eyes.

 

“She didn’t like when we dated,” I countered grinning. “She thought you were a bad influence, dressing like a hooker.”

 

“I do not,” she countered shaking her head. “And you never started dressing like one, so I don’t see how I was any influence on you.”

 

“She thought you stole her little man’s virginity,” I said shrugging. Toby nearly slid his Calculus book off his desk trying to punch me in the arm. I leaned away from it, but he still managed to reach me.

 

“She doesn’t know about the cradle snatcher at swim camp then?” Heather asked smoothing out her long brown hair. She had it straightened today and it flowed down her back. Every now and then Toby reached up and ran his fingers through it and she always seemed to lean into his hand.

 

“She was my age,” I argued as Tuck stepped through the door as the bell rang. He ushered in a few of the late guys before he closed the door.

 

“The age you lied about,” she countered shaking her head.

 

“I was only off a month,” I said shaking my head. It didn’t really happen, there was a hot girl instructor, but she only helped keep an eye on the girl campers. The one guy that tried to hit on her, got a whistle blown in his face and yelled at. That embarrassment stopped anyone else in their tracks, but it made for a good story to tell since no one could out me for lying.

 

“Pass the homework forward,” Tuck ordered, officially starting the class. He opened a small bag of Cheetos before he walked around his desk to collect each row’s papers.

 

After Calculus my day for me got a lot easier. Science was best subject, but then I had History, and then finally Spanish. The only thing I had to focus on was not falling asleep as we were learning about the Revolutionary War for the hundredth time since Kindergarten. You would think they would jump around to a few more wars first, so that we could learn more about our history past the Civil War before the semester ended. It never happened though and the old as fuck Mr. Paige droned on. He had tenure so he could care less about us, they couldn’t fire him and he was edging closer to retirement every year.

 

Lunch is what I looked forward to. All Seniors had the same lunch period, since a lot of us went off campus to eat at restaurants. We would, but Welker didn’t like Ally leaving, he lectured every Senior class that it was important for the school that people eat their lunches and encouraged the Seniors to do that, to set an example for the future and all that shit. So we sat with the other Seniors in the back of the cafeteria. Connor Wilkes even waved at me, feeling braver since I gave him shit over sending that video to his Mom. I nodded my head as I sat my tray of food down. The limp pizza wasn’t appetizing, but I sliced the corner of it off with my fork before I dipped it into ranch dressing to hide most of the odd flavors before eating it. One by one Toby and the gang filtered into the room and found their usual seats at our table. We filled every seat the girls eating their usual salad and Derek bought an extra slice of pizza.

 

“How can you guys eat that stuff?” Lily asked as she spread her dressing over her salad. “We have it three days a week and it’s always soggy and gross.”

 

“Better than that rabbit food shit,” I countered cutting another piece of pizza.

 

“So are you free after school?” Derek asked picking up one of the slices and taking a bit out of it. He sat it down then went to wipe his face with his fingers until Lily cleared her throat. I laughed when he picked up a napkin rolling my eyes.

 

“Not today,” I answered frowning. “If I don’t get into any more shit they’ll probably stop caring.”

 

“He has to finish fucking his way through the church girls anyway,” Toby added smiling as he finished chewing the pizza in his mouth. Ally elbowed him nearly hard enough to cause him to lose the small carton of milk he picked up.

 

“How many are left?” Derek asked as he picked up a second napkin. He was only halfway through his first slice.

 

“All of them,” Ally answered turning to me, she smiled. “He’s a good guy.”

 

“Right,” Derek offered shrugging. “Anything with a fucking penis isn’t good.”

 

“Dude,” I countered grinning. “Stop trying to get my ass into trouble.”

 

“From what I saw none of them are all that pretty anyway,” Heather said shrugging. “Jack will probably have to ask directions, I don’t believe that story about the girl at his camp.”

 

“Neither do I,” Ally agreed between bites of her salad. She actually sprinkled bacon and cheese on hers, making it almost edible.

 

“Damn doubters,” I countered sighing. “I can call her up if you want details, best night of her life.”

 

“She probably says that to every guy,” Heather countered, “you know so she doesn’t destroy their manhood.”

 

“Bitches,” Toby grunted. “Devils, every one of them.”

 

“So how is the park thing?” Lily asked trying not to laugh. Out of the three girls she was the calmest, I was just now starting to see that Ally had Welker fooled more than I thought. Lily though, forced herself to laugh at a lot of our nonsense.

 

“It’s alright,” I answered shrugging. “I’d rather be floating down a river with a cooler of beer though.”

 

“Damn right,” Derek said, “We’ll do that when you get out of church prison, to celebrate.”

 

“We need to plan a good party too,” I added, “to top the one I missed last weekend.”

 

“There’s our boy,” Toby said leaning across Heather to look at Derek. “We’ve not lost him to Jesus.”

 

“We need to think of a prom theme too,” Ally announced. “Dad said they’re going to ask for options by Friday.”

 

“Wrap it up,” Derek said leaning back in his chair. “Done.”

 

“Gross,” Lily groaned shaking her head. “I’ve always wanted to do a Masquerade thing.”

 

Before the girls could start arguing, the bell rang dismissing everyone to their next class. I stood up and walked my tray to the trash cans. Most people ignored the recycling and just dumped their entire tray into whatever can they came to first. After dumping my tray I slid it on top of the others and tossed my fork into the silverware tray and waited for Toby, Derek, and Heather so we could walk to History.

 

Looking around the emptying cafeteria, I saw some dumbass attempting to trip some unsuspecting freshman, one of the first ones to go through the line to begin their lunch period. Then out of nowhere a hand grabbed the bully’s shoulder spinning him around. It stopped him mid-trip and the little freshman was able to catch himself and not spill his food. That is when I noticed that the hand that was now firmly on the guy’s shoulder belonged to a small blond haired woman, I dodged a few people to get a better look.

 

“What is she doing here?” I asked, to really no one in particular.

 

“Who?” Derek answered and I glanced to my left to see him scanning the cafeteria.

 

“That woman,” I answered pointing towards her. She was now wagging her finger at a red-faced dude that I now saw was Tuley with a haircut. He seemed to shrink away from her, although he kept the sneer that likely only made Cindy more determined to yell at him.

 

“She sure is ripping that jackass a new one,” Derek commented. I smirked until I realized why she must have been there. Remembering Luke’s school closing, I looked around for him. He had to be somewhere close and I wondered who the unlucky person was that Welker made give the tour. I half expected Coach Tate to be hovering around them, but then I saw Luke standing beside Welker’s secretary. She was adjusting her glasses and trying to get Cindy’s attention, but it was Luke that finally seemed to get over his embarrassment to step up to grab Cindy’s arm and gently pull her away from Tuley.

 

“Isn’t that those idiots trying to undrown the park?” Heather asked as she and Toby came up to stand beside me.

 

“Yeah,” I answered sighing. “I guess they’re getting a tour.”

 

“I heard that since most of the parents already pulled their students out, they decided to close before Christmas,” Heather said shaking her head. “We’ll be getting a lot of new losers to dodge in the hall soon.”

 

“I thought…” I started then glanced around at the three of them staring at me. I didn’t want them to know that I knew all about Luke’s situation. Seeing him at the cafeteria exit, wrangling his mother before she could chew Tuley’s leg off, I didn’t want him coming to my school. It was bad enough dealing with him the last two weeks, I was practically the only friend he had.

 

“He’s looking at you,” Toby said smiling. “Did you fuck his sister or something?”

 

“Shut up,” I groaned. “No, I don’t know why.”

 

“He’s kind of cute,” Heather said smiling. I couldn’t help noticing Toby puff out his chest and tense his muscles, I would have laughed if they hadn’t caught him staring at me.

 

The tardy bell was a couple of minutes away from ringing, even if it was History. The old fuck did actually care if people showed up late. So I started walking, slowly, closing the distance between us. I quietly hoped that he wouldn’t say anything if they didn’t leave before we had to walk around them to get out into the hallway.

 

“Look Welker has Tuley,” Derek said and I saw Welker disappearing around the corner with Tuley, who actually looked relieved to be leaving Cindy. With him being led down the hall the secretary got Cindy’s attention and I smiled when they left the cafeteria a few moments before we got within talking distance. Cindy probably wouldn’t have let Luke talk to me if she had noticed me coming. The thought nearly made me pick up the pace, but the thought of talking to Luke in front of my friends seemed worse than making his mother uncomfortable. I had plenty of time to do that while still working at the park on weekends. I knew that was something Mom and Dad wouldn’t let me get out of, no matter how well they think I’m behaving.

 

“Dude, Connor has been bothering the fuck out me over the video he sent his mom,” Toby said and I looked over at him to see him looking down the hallway. The custodian had just brought a trash can out of storage beside the water fountain Connor was getting a drink from. Looking around I saw Cindy talking the Secretary’s head off about something, probably about how Jesus dealt with bullies. Luke was shuffling his feet, but he looked around running his hand down the lockers like this was the first real school he had ever been in.

 

“Yeah?” I said not really interested.

 

“Yeah he’s scared shitless that you hate him,” Toby answered shaking his head. “He’s been askin’ me about how to make it up to you about that.”

 

“Really?” I said as I watched him wipe his mouth with his hand. The custodian had went back inside the storage room for something else. The trash can was still out in the hallway on its wheels. Smiling I began to walk faster to catch up to them before Connor or Cindy got too far away.

 

As I passed the garbage can I reached out and grabbed it. Toby and Derek caught on to what I was doing and jogged ahead of me to stop Connor from heading to his next class. There were more stragglers out in the hallway. The tardy bell was just about to ring, but I was rarely late for class, so I was sure I’d just get yelled at.

 

One wheel on it wobbled and squeaked as I barrelled down the hallway towards Connor’s back. The hallway had just quietened enough for people to take notice. I even saw Connor glance behind him before Toby and Derek grabbed hold of both of his shoulders to hold him into place. I glanced over to see if Cindy had interrupted Welker’s secretary and smirked when they were all lined up in front of the lockers watching me.

 

When the trashcan collided with Connor’s legs he fell backwards into. I let go and sent him spinning down the hallway only stopping when the can veered right and slid along the brick wall. I could hear the old custodian yelling at us, but I didn’t look back. Instead I turned to see Cindy interrupting Welker’s Secretary again and grabbing Luke firmly by the elbow. She gave me a pointed look shaking her head as she took the quickest exit out of the school. I forced another smirk when Luke looked over his shoulder through the glass siding beside the doors. His face was beginning to flush and even from this distance I could tell that he was angry.

 

“Boys!” Welker’s Secretary screeched and I chewed on my lower lip to keep from laughing. We all heard a crash as Connor scrambled out of the trashcan. I glanced over to see him jogging towards us smiling.

 

“It was all good fun Mrs. Ellis,” Connor said coming to a stop beside me. “It was my idea, don’t…”

 

“That is enough,” she interrupted, her voice shriller than I remembered. “I was giving a tour, look at what example we’re setting for our school.”

 

“It was just a prank, we’re seniors,” Connor offered smiling. “Besides, no one was hurt.”

 

“Connor,” I started, but he shook his head shutting me up.

 

“It won’t happen again, please,” Connor countered and I saw the secretary smooth out her blouse, even though it was hardly ruffled.

 

“Get to class, maybe I can get Mrs. Clarke back here, you better hope I do,” she hissed shaking her head. “I will be telling your mother about this Connor.”

 

“Yes ma’am,” he said his face flushing as we all watched her nearly jog down the hallway back towards her office.

 

“We’re even Connor,” I said holding out my fist. He eagerly bumped his against mine smiling as he turned and walked towards his next class and I smiled at Heather, Toby, and Derek before I led them to History.

 

I couldn’t believe my luck the rest of the day. I half expected Welker to call me to his office for one of our chats. I’m sure Cindy called him to complain about the zoo he called a school. Telling him all about bullies and trashcan riding. So when I pulled into the driveway with no word from the school or Mom and Dad, I smiled as I slid out of the car. I had practice in a couple of hours at the gym, some running and endurance shit Tate has me do. I usually run around the track as I watched the football team go through their drills.

 

Mom and Dad wouldn’t be home until I got back. I kept my word though and didn’t run the roads. I texted Mom to tell her that I was home. After tossing my bag onto the couch I walked into the kitchen remembering some pizza rolls that I hoped was still in there. It was bad having to fight your parents for junk food, but since they usually rolled in too late for any formal supper we all lived off microwave food. I’m sure my diet would be changing drastically after I started college, so I always made sure to eat the good stuff now.

 

As I grabbed the bag, someone knocked on the front door. Cussing I shoved the bag of pizza rolls back into the freezer and walked back around the corner into the living room. I knew it was wasn’t one of the guys, the would have already let themselves in. We would all be rummaging through the fridge for food by now.

 

“Who is it?” I asked as I put my hand on the door handle.

 

“Luke,” came a muffled answer and I frowned opening the door.

 

“I got my car back so you don’t…” I started, but he shoved past me into the living room.

 

“I’m not,” he said but shook his head. “Well I guess you’re happy.”

 

“About what?” I asked closing the door behind us. He was red faced and breathing heavy, so I wondered if he jogged all the way here.

 

“Why did you do it?” He asked crossing his arms.

 

“What the fuck do you mean?” I asked not really liking the way he was glaring at me. It was a mixture of anger and disappointment. His eyes had welled up with unshed tears that I wouldn’t have dared make fun of him about.

 

“You talked me into asking my mom about your school, like you wanted me to go there,” he said his voice a harsh whisper. “We argued for a couple of hours, Dad finally came home and told her to at least tour the place.”

 

“It was just a prank dude,” I said, but he shook his head.

 

“Right,” he said and I watched a tear fall from his bottom eyelid. He looked away when he realized what had happened and roughly wiped his eyes.

 

“Your Mom,” I said and he let his hands fall to his side then he shouldered past me to the door.

 

“You’re not even going to own up to it,” he countered grabbing the door handle. “You’re just an ass, was I too big of a fucking loser for us to go to the same school?”

 

“Luke,” I said surprised that he cussed, not once but twice.

 

“I was just trying to be normal,” he added as he opened the door. “Thanks a lot. You’re off the hook about the park thing, you’re not welcome back.”


“Luke!” I yelled as he jogged from the front door and bounded down the porch steps. I took off after him, but he ducked through the treeline and I came to a stop. Staring through the trees I realized that maybe I really was an asshole. If I was being honest, I didn’t really know why I went through the trouble to get Luke to ask his mom. To give him the courage to stand up to her, just to mess that up for him. Remembering the way Luke looked standing in my living room, I knew I had finally gone too far.

Copyright © 2017 Krista; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 57
  • Love 5
  • Wow 1
  • Sad 6
  • Angry 5
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
You are not currently following this author. Be sure to follow to keep up to date with new stories they post.

Recommended Comments

Chapter Comments

Good for Luke that he didn't let Jackson's disgusting behavior slide but actually called him on it. I have a lot more respect for Luke and lost it for Jackson, even though he did admit to himself he'd gone too far. It's not good enough, because it all fits into the pattern of him not thinking about the consequences. I'll even admit his parents have a point, even though they are as much to blame for him becoming this way and I don't think much of their method of trying to change him. But his mom actually found a person who could have been a good influence and a proper friend, perhaps even boyfriend. Shame Jackson spoiled it by refusing to look past the loser image and prefering to 'impress' his old friends and get back at Connor and Cindy rather than be a decent person. I hope his remorse lasts longer than a few hours or until his mom has talked to Cindy and starts yelling at him. After that he'll refuse to admit to fault, because she's being over the top.

  • Like 3

Ok so, something just felt off with Jackson and his friends this entire chapter. I don't know how to explain it. Something just seemed weird about it all. There's definitely something going on with his girlfriend, and I can't quite figure out what's up, but I don't get a good feeling about that. She seems to be up to something, but maybe I'm just imagining that. But anyway, the whole thing with his friends feels a bit phoney to me. Like he's mostly friends with these people to keep up some kind of appearance, he doesn't seem particularly close to any of them. They don't seem to actually have much in common. For people that are supposedly his best friends that he grew up with, it all seems extremely superficial.

 

I really disliked Jackson a lot in this chapter, obviously the stunt that he pulled was mean-spirited and low. I don't care that he tossed the kid in the trash can, that was fair play as far as I was concerned, I mean the kid sent that video to his mom, that's just 5 kinds of awkward and bizarre, a definite WTF moment. But doing it deliberately in front of Luke's mom just to sabotage the school tour was just messed up. I thought he was coming around and liking Luke and then does something hurtful like that. Yeah, I'd been rooting for him earlier in the story, but this changed my perception of the character in a really negative way.

 

Sure he feels bad about it after the fact, but the fact that he even did it to begin with, it just feels like too little too late for me. Also Cindy, holy hell that woman is a nightmare. Is she trying to become the living embodiment of the word busybody? How is Jackson's mother that woman's best friend?

 

At this point I pretty much don't like anyone in the story except for Luke. Hopefully something will happen to help change that perception in the coming chapters.

  • Like 3

Attaboy, Luke. Stand up to mom, stand up to Jackson. Jack relapsed into his old character; no real change there. Cindy cut Jack off from Luke, and probably unnecessarily, too. Why Luke would ever speak to Jackson again would be a mystery. Looks like Luke gets homeschooled and Jack goes back to being a pain in everyone's rear for his own amusement. Looks like we'e back to chapter one...

  • Like 4
On 04/21/2016 01:26 PM, Robert Rex said:

Luke's anger and disappointment are well placed--but things are changing, since our hero actually feels remorse! Quite different from the totally spoiled guy before.

Well done chapter, solid dialogue, and the plot line is moving along nicely. You "done good".

Thanks for reading! :D Jackson is a work in progress for sure, with those you'll get relapses from time to time.. Right? Poor Luke, yes? :(

  • Like 2
  • Fingers Crossed 1
On 04/23/2016 01:45 PM, Lisa said:

Jackson, you ass. You take one step forward and three steps back. What the hell did you pull that stunt for? Just to piss off Luke's mother and make sure he's homeschooled so you won't have to deal with him? Asshole. I don't blame Luke for being furious with him. Jack just signed his "death sentence" -- being in the same room with his mother 24/7.

I think if Jackson had you fussing at him, he'd wise up a lot quicker. :D You said it perfectly.. poor Luke. lol. Hopefully Jackson will surprise us and not be so ass-y. We can all hope right?

  • Like 3
On 04/22/2016 12:59 AM, skinnydragon said:

Isn't it a possibility that Jackson's little antic was NOT just another one of Jackson's little antics?

 

Deep down, way at the bottom of the closet somewhere, Jackson is afraid of Luke being in school with him.

And it might not be for the 'not a cool kid' reason he's convinced himself of.

Thanks for reading! :D Jackson went back to his old habits to deal with something that - I shouldn't say surprised him, not after that talk they had at the pool. Just ahh, and is there more to what is going on in Jackson's head than 'not' wanting Luke in the same school?

  • Like 3
On 04/22/2016 12:25 AM, jaysalmn said:

Well, I see Jackson hasn't really changed a whole lot. Still an asshole that hasn't grown up any. I'm happy Luke at least called him on his behavior. I don't care if Jackson feels any remorse, he doesn't deserve Luke as a friend or anything else. Jackson and his friends think of Luke as a loser, but as cool as they think they are, they're the losers.

Thanks for reading! :D Some people need a good kick in the butt and Jackson might be one of those people. lol. Hopefully he'll do better, we're into chapter 9 and there has been very minor moments so far. I've never worked with a character that needed a ton of growth like him, I'm glad people think so lowly of him so far, I started this story with that very idea/hope in mind. :D I just want y'all to stick with him and not go too far with this character flaw.

  • Like 3
On 04/22/2016 12:35 AM, Parker Owens said:

Attaboy, Luke. Stand up to mom, stand up to Jackson. Jack relapsed into his old character; no real change there. Cindy cut Jack off from Luke, and probably unnecessarily, too. Why Luke would ever speak to Jackson again would be a mystery. Looks like Luke gets homeschooled and Jack goes back to being a pain in everyone's rear for his own amusement. Looks like we'e back to chapter one...

Thanks for reading! Luke stood up for himself, probably surprising Jackson a bit I would imagine. Jackson doesn't get a lot of people standing toe to toe with him, or it doesn't seem like that to me. lol. If Connor was willing to take a trash can ride to save face anyway. Maybe Jackson will fix this or revel in a job well done? :) We'll see. ;) He definitely relapsed though.

  • Like 3
On 04/22/2016 12:21 AM, spikey582 said:

Ok so, something just felt off with Jackson and his friends this entire chapter. I don't know how to explain it. Something just seemed weird about it all. There's definitely something going on with his girlfriend, and I can't quite figure out what's up, but I don't get a good feeling about that. She seems to be up to something, but maybe I'm just imagining that. But anyway, the whole thing with his friends feels a bit phoney to me. Like he's mostly friends with these people to keep up some kind of appearance, he doesn't seem particularly close to any of them. They don't seem to actually have much in common. For people that are supposedly his best friends that he grew up with, it all seems extremely superficial.

 

I really disliked Jackson a lot in this chapter, obviously the stunt that he pulled was mean-spirited and low. I don't care that he tossed the kid in the trash can, that was fair play as far as I was concerned, I mean the kid sent that video to his mom, that's just 5 kinds of awkward and bizarre, a definite WTF moment. But doing it deliberately in front of Luke's mom just to sabotage the school tour was just messed up. I thought he was coming around and liking Luke and then does something hurtful like that. Yeah, I'd been rooting for him earlier in the story, but this changed my perception of the character in a really negative way.

 

Sure he feels bad about it after the fact, but the fact that he even did it to begin with, it just feels like too little too late for me. Also Cindy, holy hell that woman is a nightmare. Is she trying to become the living embodiment of the word busybody? How is Jackson's mother that woman's best friend?

 

At this point I pretty much don't like anyone in the story except for Luke. Hopefully something will happen to help change that perception in the coming chapters.

Thanks for reading! A very thoughtful review, I think I focused so much on Luke/Jackson that the friends still feel like superficial outlying characters. There are a lot of them to manage and more important characters do need to come to light at this stage in the story. So hopefully, the friends add more depth to Jackson, Luke, etc as I go along, because they are important in the overall story, just not central.

 

Jackson is a character I've been wanting to write for awhile now. I want him to test the boundaries on whether people will like him. I don't want to go 'too far' with that though, but the story is still fairly new and I have a lot of room for him to grow in the next chapters especially.

 

I'm glad you like Luke, he is the only one that deserves to be completely liked at this point. :) Too bad his mother is a piece of work.. lol.

 

I think in small towns where best friends.. don't really ever stop being best friends, we overlook their flaws/differences or at least get desensitized to them over the years. Cindy and Jackson's mom have known one another since grade school (although I don't think that is mentioned in the story yet) and if you keep a friend that long, you've definitely overlooked and accepted a lot about them by then. lol.

 

I hope you stick with the story though! :)

  • Like 3
  • Love 1
On 04/21/2016 03:39 PM, Timothy M. said:

Good for Luke that he didn't let Jackson's disgusting behavior slide but actually called him on it. I have a lot more respect for Luke and lost it for Jackson, even though he did admit to himself he'd gone too far. It's not good enough, because it all fits into the pattern of him not thinking about the consequences. I'll even admit his parents have a point, even though they are as much to blame for him becoming this way and I don't think much of their method of trying to change him. But his mom actually found a person who could have been a good influence and a proper friend, perhaps even boyfriend. Shame Jackson spoiled it by refusing to look past the loser image and prefering to 'impress' his old friends and get back at Connor and Cindy rather than be a decent person. I hope his remorse lasts longer than a few hours or until his mom has talked to Cindy and starts yelling at him. After that he'll refuse to admit to fault, because she's being over the top.

And what a tongue lashing he may get from his momma too. :P He will deserve this one, I think. lol. He isn't thinking, so you hit him on the head with that one. He reacts to things instead of looking past his own fears/worries/enjoyment and doesn't see what that will cost the people around him. His friends are of the same mold so far as well. So will he stay on their level? Leave them behind? Or will they all grow together? :)

 

Even though I've posted 9 chapters, there hasn't been a lot of growth with anyone. So there is plenty of room for them to grow if they wish to. ;)

  • Like 3
3 minutes ago, GLH said:

Not at all. I have to admit that I've not had a character just absolutely pi$$ me off like Jackson has in a long time, though.

Amusing jackass is what I think when I write him. There's always going to be moments where you either laugh or roll your eyes. I don't know exactly how many more times he outright annoys everyone that reads the chapters as the story progresses though. lol

  • Like 4

I kinda got  that scene with Connor and Jackson and the bin.   I mean, yes, random stoopid damage to Luke managing  to get going at the school,  but it I felt it.

When I was a teenager we sometimes fell into weird patterns of doing something because it was what we did in that situation,  we knew we had to play our roles in the group.   And it came up extra-strong  if we ever met people who knew who were outside the group.  It was certainly childish teenagery and immature of Jackson,  but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. 

Jackson owed Connor an embarrassing prank, and Connor knew it,  and the devil will have his due.  

   

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2
1 hour ago, Mattyboy said:

I kinda got  that scene with Connor and Jackson and the bin.   I mean, yes, random stoopid damage to Luke managing  to get going at the school,  but it I felt it.

When I was a teenager we sometimes fell into weird patterns of doing something because it was what we did in that situation,  we knew we had to play our roles in the group.   And it came up extra-strong  if we ever met people who knew who were outside the group.  It was certainly childish teenagery and immature of Jackson,  but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. 

Jackson owed Connor an embarrassing prank, and Connor knew it,  and the devil will have his due.  

   

Yeah, it was a smallish prank, that Connor actually had fun with. But in the grand outcome it wasn't the smoothest of moves, especially since Luke/Cindy were there. Definitely not smooth at all. 

  • Like 4
On 4/20/2016 at 10:39 PM, Timothy M. said:

I have a lot more respect for Luke and lost it for Jackson, even though he did admit to himself he'd gone too far. It's not good enough, because it all fits into the pattern of him not thinking about the consequences. 

How did you have any respect for Jack to begin with? He's been an ass since the story's first paragraph.

On 4/20/2016 at 10:39 PM, Timothy M. said:

Shame Jackson spoiled it by refusing to look past the loser image and prefering to 'impress' his old friends and get back at Connor and Cindy rather than be a decent person. I hope his remorse lasts longer than a few hours or until his mom has talked to Cindy and starts yelling at him. After that he'll refuse to admit to fault, because she's being over the top.

I actually think on a subconscious level Jack is afraid to have Luke in school with him. Somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind there is the question of why he had morning wood for so long when Luke was around.

On 4/21/2016 at 7:35 AM, Parker Owens said:

Attaboy, Luke. Stand up to mom, stand up to Jackson. Jack relapsed into his old character; no real change there. Cindy cut Jack off from Luke, and probably unnecessarily, too. Why Luke would ever speak to Jackson again would be a mystery. Looks like Luke gets homeschooled and Jack goes back to being a pain in everyone's rear for his own amusement. Looks like we'e back to chapter one...

No mystery why Luke would ever speak to Jackson again, he likes Jack. He may not fully understand how or why (or maybe he is more aware than we know), but he likes Jack warts and all.

  • Love 4
View Guidelines

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


  • Newsletter

    Sign Up and get an occasional Newsletter.  Fill out your profile with favorite genres and say yes to genre news to get the monthly update for your favorite genres.

    Sign Up
×
×
  • Create New...