The Best Year - 11. Chapter 11

After my talk with Henry, I gave him a short wave and jogged from the sidewalk to my car. As I was about start the car, though, I saw Luke waving his hands for me to stop. Sighing and remembering what I had just told Henry, and with Henry watching on as if waiting to see what I would do. I let the car idle and waited for Luke to come say whatever he wanted to say before I left for practice. I just hoped this didn’t make me late, after my stunt in the hallway, Coach Tate hasn’t been too thrilled with me and I didn’t want to do laps anymore.

“I didn’t think you’d wait for me,” Luke breathed as he leaned against the open window. His face was red from the sun and his white shirt was now a tinge of orange from the dirt and red clay dust that was always in the air if it hadn’t rained for awhile.

“Why not?” I asked hoping he hadn’t noticed my brief attempt at ignoring him and leaving anyway. I knew that would upset everyone though, we had just gotten back to talking. I had promised Henry and from just beyond Luke’s waving hands stood Cindy, probably hoping I would just leave already. I didn’t stop for either of them though, if I was honest with myself I wanted to know what Luke had to say. If I was honest with myself, I couldn’t recall ever really being annoyed with him directly, aside from the fact that we were both stuck here at the park. That was the park though, not him. I didn’t want to be here because I didn’t want to do work on a lost cause. I wanted to be with my friends, at a bonfire or drifting slowly down the calm river that nearly encircled our dying town.

“Never mind,” he said, and I saw him look over the top of the car towards the park. I glanced out the passenger side and saw that Cindy was now standing with Henry. He had his arm around her and that looked like the only thing that stopped her from shouting. Their expressions were polar opposites, Henry was smiling like a fool and Cindy’s lips had nearly disappeared. “Can I hang out at the YMCA while you practice?”

“Why would you want to do that?” I asked as he bent back down to where I could see his face. His brown eyes looked hopeful, but distant.

“I don’t want to be around Mom right now,” he answered, his face getting a shade redder despite the sunburn.

“What about that girl from earlier, don’t you hang out with her?” I asked chewing on the bottom lip as I cursed myself. I didn’t know why I asked about her specifically. I meant to ask about his random friends, but she was already here. In fact, she was standing a few yards away from Cindy and was looking our way as well.

“They’re going to a church lock in,” he answered sighing. I could tell he already thought I was going to turn him down and leave for practice. He had lost all hope in his eyes and was resigning himself to the idea of being around his mother.

“Oh,” I said looking down at the steering wheel.

“Mom is chaperoning,” he added, and I smirked.

“So, you’re skipping a church thing,” I said leaning back in my seat. “And hanging out with me, it might get you drowned as they try to baptize the sinner out of you.”

“Shut up,” he groaned shaking his head.

“Well you can’t swim,” I countered shrugging. “Get in I can’t be late.”

“Thanks,” he said, and I watched him jog around the front of the car. I heard Cindy shout his name, but he only turned around long enough to wave before he opened the passenger side door. The look she shot me already made it worth whatever chewing out I would get for bringing Luke with me to practice.

He was quiet on the way there though and that bothered me. I could tell he didn’t like defying his mother. He asked to borrow my cell phone to call, but Mom still had possession of mine. After that he sat back in the seat and listened to the rock music I had on. I even noticed his lips move as he mouthed the words to some of the songs.

“You’re quiet,” I said, the quiet finally getting to me. “What’s wrong?”

“You,” he answered crossing his arms. “Mom.”

“Oh,” I said frowning as I tried not to be angry. I knew I was a problem, but I thought since he was on his way to practice with me that I was forgiven. “I’m sorry you’re getting into a lot of shit with your mom.”

“That has nothing to do with you,” he said turning to glance at me before turning to look out the passenger window.

“I thought it did,” I countered confused. When he didn’t turn back around, I wanted to stop the car and yell at him. I didn’t like it when people didn’t talk, I liked to talk, though, not about this deep shit we’ve been talking about. Also, I was starting to feel like I was a dumb fuck, that maybe I had missed something that I shouldn’t have.

“You won’t give me any trouble at school,” he said finally turning back to look at me. “I would stay out of your way. Wouldn’t you hate to think that your Mom doesn’t think you’re tough enough? That she has to hover around you to make sure no one bothers you?”

“Mothers,” I said trying to lighten the mood. “I think it has more to do with her losing control of you, you’re eighteen and you’ll be in college soon. Where she can’t follow you to make sure you wipe your ass and tie your shoes.”

“Gross,” he countered smiling.

“Well it isn’t like you’ll be out partying and shit,” I commented as we entered the city limits. Looking ahead I saw that we were going to luck out, that traffic was way down and most of the traffic lights were green.

“I’m not a loser that doesn’t want to do those things,” he countered rolling his eyes.

“Well maybe she sees that you’re about to become a badass instead of a bible hugger,” I said as I pulled into the parking lot of the YMCA. By the looks of the cars Coach had a full pool scheduled to come in this weekend. I felt hopeful that he wouldn’t zero in all of his anger through the week on me, but on some other fuck up. “Maybe she knows about those R-rated movies.”

“I’ll never live that down, will I?” He asked as he unhooked his seat belt.

“No,” I answered shrugging out of mine. “But stay out of Tate’s radar, okay?”

“Why?” He asked as he opened his door.

“He doesn’t like me bringing friends to practice,” I answered as I grabbed my bag from the back seat, “not even his son. Not after Toby gave Derek a wedgie that ripped his underwear right off his ass.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Luke said raising his eyebrows.

“And threw them into the water like a stripper flinging her bra,” I added, and he laughed as he slid out of the passenger side. “I’m not kidding, they’re banned.”

“He didn’t seem to mind me and Allison being there last weekend,” he countered as we walked side by side into the building.

“He was in a good mood,” I said as we turned the corner and I held the heavy glass door open for him to enter the pool. The intense chlorine smell used to burn my nose, but over the years I had become used to it. Glancing around, I saw that he had the little kids in, as well as the middle school or more advanced swimmers too. Parents were lining the bleachers off to the side, all of them smiling and chattering with one another. Mom would look out of place here, but I remember when she sat in those bleachers too. Dad only came to a few of my meets when I was younger. Neither probably thought I would make something out of all of this. They just liked that it got me out of the house.

“Wow, it’s a circus in here,” Luke said as we both dodged a splash from one of the younger kids. Some of them were brave enough to bother me, even after I gave them dirty looks and threatened to drown them. I guess they thought since I hadn’t yet, that I wasn’t ever going to.

“Yeah,” I said as Coach spotted me and pointed to the locker room. Sighing I smirked at Luke and disappeared through the doors and quickly changed into my suit. Grabbing my goggles and bag, I left the locker room and placed my bag down beside Luke before I walked over to the edge and slid into the water feet first. The last lane was always roped off and reserved for me, the water was extremely choppy, and I knew it was going to be hell for me to take breaths as I swam. Having to practice here most of my life, I was used to the unstable water. It actually helped, the meets were calm in comparison, I didn’t even notice the water during them.

I lucked out; Coach had his hands full with the younger swimmers. Some of them still couldn’t swim without arm floats, so their attention spans were also all over the place. When he tired of them, he did a few time trials for me to make sure my speed was still on par with what colleges would expect. I could tell he wasn’t exactly happy with the times that I put in, I hadn’t been able to keep up with my conditioning. Most of that was because I trudged along

at the park, I wasn’t able to do any jogging or extra swimming like I used to on weekends before practice.

I also knew that as the year went along and after football season ended, I would become his only real athlete to train. So, the worst of what I would have to endure was still to come, where I couldn’t get away with much like I did tonight. After the heat of the day, working in the dirt and sun, I didn’t really feel much like swimming. I just hoped that the park got finished before I got too out of shape. The only real fear I had about college was that, even through all the extra work, it wouldn’t be enough, and I would be the slowest on the team when I arrived. I was already swimming in a small assed YMCA pool.

“Jackson,” Coach said after he blew the whistle to get my attention. By the darkness outside the pool windows, it was likely the end of practice. So, I expected the lecture to start now. “What are you doing?”

“Swimming, Coach,” I answered smiling when he crossed his arms after rolling his eyes.

“I know damn well what you’re doing,” he growled. “That’s not what I mean, your times sucked.”

“Sorry,” I said as I rested my elbows on the concrete edge of the pool. “I know I’m not in the best shape.”

“You better get there,” he said glancing down at his clipboard. “You’re almost two seconds off your times last season on every stroke.”

“Really?” I asked, “I’ll get it figured out.”

“I’ve never been on your ass about your body either,” he said, “but you’re looking a bit worn out.”

“It’s fine we’re almost finished with the park,” I countered my face flushing when I glanced behind Coach to see Luke still sitting on the bench. In the empty pool, voices seemed to echo. It didn’t take a lot of effort to be heard and Coach never really talked quietly.

“Just keep your ass out of trouble, I don’t want you stretched too thin there’s a lot riding on this year,” he said unclipping the paper he wrote my times on. He sat them the lifeguard chair where he usually sat to watch us swim. “Get the park finished then man up a little.”

“Okay,” I said sighing. My luck had officially worn out for the evening. Now I just wanted to sink down to the bottom and not come back up for air. “I don’t understand though, I already have my free ride in.”

“They can take all that shit away, you know that right? Now go hit the showers.” He said nodding towards the locker rooms, then he knelt down and picked up his bag and bottle of water. He didn’t wait around for me to get out of the pool and I watched until he turned the corner towards the parking lot, hitting a few light switches on the way.

“That was interesting,” Luke said as he walked to where I was.

“Shut up,” I said pushing off the side to float on my back. “You getting in, I know you don’t want to go home.”

“Yeah,” he said and I watched him kick off his sneakers and pull off his socks. I thought he was going to jump in wearing his work clothes, but he turned away, pulling off his shirt on the way back to my bag. “Can I borrow some trunks?”

“Yeah they’re in there,” I answered after he glanced over his shoulder.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, but then hesitated by the locker room door. “I thought you looked good out there.”

“Thanks,” I started, but he had already disappeared behind the door to the locker rooms. The smart-ass remark died on my lips and I sighed and did a small circle on my back as I waited for him. I had just closed my eyes, still floating when I heard the splash a few feet away from me. When the waves messed me up and I began to sink I righted myself and glared at him.

“Sorry,” he said smirking. “I knew the water would be cold like it was last time.”

“I don’t really notice it anymore,” I offered as I laid back again.

“How do you do that?” He asked halfway between doggy paddling and drowning.

“I relax,” I answered gently moving my arms in the water. “It helps to steady your breathing, not breathing too deeply.”

“I’d sink,” he said and I watched him move over to the side of the pool. “Can you show me?”

“Yeah,” I said, and he smiled and doggy paddled over to me.

“You really need to learn how to swim,” I said rolling my eyes. “What if you end up stranded without a life jacket somewhere?”

“I’m never on boats,” he answered shrugging. “I don’t really like the water like you do.”

“Alright take a deep breath and slowly lie back,” I ordered turned to face him. He didn’t look like he was going to do it, but finally he shrugged and shot backwards. His head went under the water before I could grab hold of him to keep him above the water. When he came up for air, snorting the water out of his nose I laughed.

“I thought you were going to dunk me,” he said wiping his eyes with the back of his right hand.

“You dunked your own ass, idiot,” I countered splashing him. “I wasn’t going to do anything, you don’t trust me at all.”

“No, I don’t,” he answered shaking his head. “Again?”

“Yeah,” I answered and this time he eased onto his back and I slid my arms under him, one at his shoulders and the other just above the waistband of his trunks.

“This isn’t too bad,” he said and began to sink.

“You can’t talk!” I yelled pulling him back up. “Just take slow breaths, feel the difference when air is in your lungs, how you raise a little.”

“Okay,” he answered then had to spit out more water.

“I told you not to talk, damn,” I hissed shaking my head. “I’m not doing mouth to mouth on your sorry ass if you drown.”

After he laughed, he closed his eyes and I noticed his breathing even out. He took deeper breaths, but they were slow, and I felt his body sink ever so slightly when he exhaled then raised again when he took a breath. I kept hold of him until I felt the muscles in his back relax and when he stopped flapping his arms under the water. When I let him go he opened his eyes, but I reached up and held my finger to my lips hoping he’d remain calm. I wasn’t surprised when he didn’t sink, but he was and that was enough for him to stiffen back up, this time though, I caught him before his head went under the water.

“I did it, right?” He asked as I broke away from him so that he could right himself, but I smiled and nodded.

“For a second or two, yeah,” I answered swimming over to rest on the side he was clinging for dear life to. “So other than Jesus, what else do you like?”

“I don’t know,” he answered sounding resigned as he gave me a sideways glance. After he turned back around, I saw his jaw clench and his eyes seemed to darken.

“What’s your favorite food?” I asked resting my head on my crossed arms.

“Pizza,” he answered shrugging. “Why?”

“Just making sure your ass is at least a little bit normal,” I answered and laughed when he reached over and splashed me.

“You know my mom,” he said his voice quiet. “Do you think it is easy for me to know what I like with her telling me what I’m not supposed to like?”

“What are you not supposed to like?” I asked ignoring the chill that threatened to make me shudder. I knew it wasn’t from the cold water or the air. I wanted to know, because I had a feeling, I already knew the answer.

“R rated movies,” he answered smirking briefly. “Rap music, drinking, partying, you know all that stuff.”

“Hard life,” I commented, he wasn’t smiling now, but he had turned to face me.

“You,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “I’m not supposed to like you.”

“I won’t hold it against you,” I said feeling my face flush.

“I think you will,” he said as he pushed off the side of the pool. It took me a little while to realize that he was doggy paddling towards the ladder.

“Hold up a second,” I said pushing myself from the side. I was able to catch him and get in between him and the ladder. No longer moving, the doggy paddle didn’t work and he began to sink into the water so I reached up and grabbed him under both of his arms. “See if you could swim, that wouldn’t happen.”

“Shut up,” he said rolling his eyes and I realized how close we were. My body had drifted, only coming to a stop when it bumped into him. Although I was kicking, which kept us both from sinking, he seemed to have gone rigid.

“You won’t have your mom breathing down your neck for too much longer,” I said as I broke away and gave him space to doggy paddle. Instead of going towards the ladder, he turned and faced me as I did a small circle around him.

“I know,” he said smiling. “What is your favorite food?”

“Pizza,” I answered, “everything on it.”

“Peppers?” He asked wrinkling his nose.

“Yes,” I answered shrugging my shoulders.

“How about olives?” He asked and I bit my bottom lip trying not to laugh.

“Yeah,” I answered, and I noticed his eyes squint slightly.

“Even those little fish?” He asked cocking his eyebrow.

“Shit no, nobody likes those,” I answered, and he laughed splashing water at me. After the water settled, he was looking at me. He was no longer doggy paddling but kicking with his legs. We were a few yards from being able to stand on the bottom. I wanted to give him another swimming lesson, but he didn’t seem up for it. Something was bothering him and it surprised me that I was able to see that. That I had finally been around him enough to know when something was really bothering him. That maybe he had something he wanted to say, but didn’t. Or maybe that was me and I was just wanting to see that in him. I didn’t like feeling bashful or out of place. I wasn’t like that with my other friends, I was an open book. They knew me and I knew them, every dirty little secret, I thought.

“What are you thinking?” He asked as he started doggy paddling towards the shallow end of the pool.

“If you can beat me to the shallow end, I’ll tell you,” I answered grinning as I took off swimming.

“No fair!” He yelled as I felt for the shallow bottom with my toes so I could run in the water. He was still yards behind me when I touched the side and waited.

“I hate this side of the pool,” I said when he came to a stop beside me. “No telling how many little shits pissed all in it.”

“You don’t think it travels?” He asked smiling.

“No,” I answered raising my eyebrows. “And your ass won’t be telling me any different.”

“Alright,” he said leaning against the side of the pool. “So, what were you thinking?”

“I won, so,” I said shrugging. I didn’t want to tell him what I was thinking. I used the excuse of the race to keep from telling him. I didn’t really know what it was, other than a feeling that I didn’t understand, not really. It felt like a jumble of things that I wouldn’t be able to talk about anyway. Like I was still missing something, but I was on the edge of finding whatever it was. It was enough to send my heart racing, but I also couldn’t help feeling torn with apprehension. That whatever I thought I wanted; I wasn’t meant to have. That it would cost me too much, more than I thought I was willing to give. I just knew that I only felt this way when I was alone like this with Luke.

“Come on,” he groaned his teeth chattering.

“You’re cold,” I said as I turned to pull myself out of the pool, “let’s get out of here.”

“Wait,” he whispered, and I felt a hand on my shoulder. When I turned to face him, he was standing a lot closer. His eyes seemed larger and dancing from side to side as he looked at me and his lips were parted. He looked surprised, surprised that he had stopped me. Then his face closed the distance and I felt his lips, softly against mine. His hand tightened on my shoulder as I felt myself stiffen in front of him, my arms falling to my sides.

He broke the kiss suddenly and I opened my eyes, fucked if I knew when I had closed them. He was staring at me, wide eyed and flushed. He was no longer shivering, but goose bumps had spread across my skin and I felt like I was about to explode if I didn’t move, but I didn’t seem to know how to.

“Sorry, I’m so…” He started as he started backing away. “Please...”

“Shut up,” I hissed grabbing hold of his shoulder, hating how scared he looked of me. “Just shut up,”

And before I knew it, I pulled him back to me and kissed him. This time he went rigid, but when my lips moved against his a second time I felt them soften as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him to me. His body felt cooler than mine, slick from the water, and a few stray drops from his hair hit my arms as he kissed me back.

He broke the kiss and I felt him hug himself against me. He was shaking, but I couldn’t help knowing that it wasn’t from the cold water. For once in my life I didn’t know what to say, I lived on smart ass remarks and jokes. They got me by a lot of the time, that was what was expected of me. Here I felt like I was the one that couldn’t swim, not now, and I was struggling for air.

“We should go,” he whispered, but I only pulled him tighter and closed my eyes because I knew if I let him go, I’d run, or worse, hurt him and I didn’t want to.