The Best Year - 15. Chapter 15

When the last bell rang, I grabbed my backpack and sports bag and followed the bustling people that had drivers’ licenses out the back door to the student parking lots. I sighed, knowing my day was far from over, I still had practice on the track while Coach pulled double duty with me and the football team. Mostly I would be jogging and doing some weight and flexibility shit while he badgered the football team.

After I dropped my backpack off at my car I clicked the lockdown button on my keychain and walked across the lawn towards the athletic center the school board built for us to house all of the outside sports in one general location. Scanning the grounds, I already saw some of the cross country kids stretching and preparing to run around town. Taking advantage of the summer sun while they could before the nights got longer and they have to stop.

As I walked up the small hill to the football field, Coach was already there checking his phone and his watch. When he noticed me he outstretched his arms and shook his head. I knew I wasn’t late for anything, it wasn’t like running was all that important. The only reason I had to be here was because of his duties with the football team. I knew when their season ended in December or early January, that my season would just be getting into the home stretch.

The thought of never swimming for my high school again didn’t bother me though. The school didn’t have a sanctioned team, but they didn’t mind bragging about me when I did well at meets. Right now, I was only about a month away from my first friendlies, then I would be on to the trials and meets that mattered. I hoped to get invited to district and regional championships this year, I won some meets last year in both, but didn’t qualify for the state championships, my fastest times were still not good enough to make them this year, but I hoped to change that. I grew two inches between seasons, so I at least looked more like a swimmer, instead of someone that played pretend at their local YMCA.

“I’ve been trying to reach your sorry ass all day, Jackson,” Coach bellowed as soon as I stepped around the goal post. He nearly ran over to where I stood, his whistle bouncing on his chest.

“I’m not late,” I groaned already dreading the extra laps. He might actually make me run around the entire center or up and down bleachers. It was still hot out and I wanted to get into the locker rooms before the football idiots got in there and started having towel snapping and loudest fart competitions. Derek was a bit of a champ at both and always liked to include me.

“Where the hell is your phone?” He asked ignoring my tone for the time being. I could tell he was distracted by whatever had him so flustered. I only got nervous when his eyes landed on me and I could tell he had more to say and was hesitating.

“Mom has it, I’m grounded,” I answered my face flushing as I glanced past him towards the weight room where the locker rooms were. “Can I go change?”

“No you can’t go change,” he sighed. “You need to get your ass ungrounded already so I can reach you.”

“You could have just called me to your office,” I countered turning my attention back to him.

When he crossed his arms and spread his stance out, I knew I had said the wrong thing. He always tried to make himself look bigger before he blew up and went into total coach mode. His face was reddening by the second and the vein on his forehead began to pop out.

“You know Welker doesn’t approve of coaches doing that during school hours,” he answered shaking his head. “I must have sent you a hundred texts.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked and I watched as he glanced down at his watch.

“I’m waiting for your mother,” he answered sighing. “I think this needs to come from the both of us.”

“Okay,” I said trying not to show how much that bothered me. My heart was racing and I briskly wiped the sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand. “What’s this about, you can tell me without my mom being here.”

“I think she needs to be here for this,” he countered then I saw him relax as he looked past me.

I almost expected the football players to be congregating behind us. He looked like he was looking for any excuse to dismiss me to get away until Mom could show up. Instead though, I turned around to see her getting out of her car and slinging her purse strap over her shoulder. She was in heels, which meant that she was in meetings all day and wasn’t walking the factory. Her hair was quickly coming out of the bun as she awkwardly walked from the parking lot to the field.

“Grace,” Coach groaned as soon as she was in earshot. “Give the boy back his phone so someone can reach him.”

“I know, I know,” Mom said holding up her hand before rummaging through her purse for my phone. Finding it she quickly gave it back to me. “I’m sorry, but really Rick, this could have been handled at home.”

“Home?” I asked crossing my arms. Mom’s appearance derailed the last bit of my resolve and when she looked at me her eyes seemed to glaze over with unshed tears. “What’s wrong?”

“Jackson,” Mom said, her voice low and careful. “We’ve been meaning to tell you something very important for the past couple of days.”

I watched as she felt around in her purse again and pulled out a white envelope. It looked fat with papers, but the first thing my eyes saw was that it was addressed to me. The next thing I realized was that it was from the college I was going to swim at for the next four years.

“You opened my mail?” I asked angrily reaching for the envelope.

“I knew what it was as soon as it came,” Mom said as she held the envelope close to her chest and out of my reach. “The Athletic Director called Rick after I didn’t answer my cell. You know how terrible it is for me to hear my cell ringing at the factory with all that noise and your father, well, he never answers his phone.”

“Grace,” Coach groaned, “give it to him straight, he can handle it.”

“I don’t think I can,” Mom hissed waving the envelope in her hand. I tried to snatch it from her, but she shot me a look somewhere between annoyance and worry.

“Fine,” Coach said shaking his head. “The swimming program lost some funding, which led to a loss of two scholarships. You were the last one offered, so you lost your spot, Jack. I’m sorry to have to tell you.”

“What do you mean?” I asked reaching for the envelope. “They can’t do that.”

“Honey,” Mom said as she handed over the envelope. When I ripped the already open envelope further, my heart sank when the first document I saw was my signed letter of intent. I didn’t even need to read the stupid consolation letter.

“Fuc...damn it!” I yelled as I threw the envelope down.

“Jack, honey,” Mom started, but I heard the approach of people behind me and when I turned around I saw the football team, Derek and Toby included were standing just off the field with the head coach. They looked to be coming from a short group meeting, but I realized it was just a short delay so Mom and Coach could tell me the news. Behind them I saw Luke, standing on the other side of the fence that encircled the field, as if realizing that he may not have permission to be there.

“How long have you known?” I asked turning to face them both.

“Only a little while,” she answered reaching to hug me. I stepped away from her. No matter how much I wanted her to hug me, I wasn’t about to let her in front of most of the cool kids at school. At least not the dumbfucks that would tease me about being a Momma’s boy anyway. I definitely didn’t want them seeing me upset.

“No, tell me, how long?” I asked trying to keep my voice down. I could hear mumbling behind me, but I didn’t dare turn to look at them now.

“We can talk about this at home,” she answered looking past me. “Please.”

“There’s more you need to know,” Coach started, but I held up my hand and he frowned and closed his mouth.

“I’ll see you at home later, Mom,” I whispered as I turned on my heels and walked through the football team.

“Dude!” Derek called and I glanced over my shoulder to see him and Toby breaking from the crowd. Coach called out to them and they stopped by the time I was through the exit at the fence and standing with Luke.

“Go away,” I growled as I passed him on the way back towards the parking lot.

“What’s going on?” He asked as he fell into step beside me.

“Nothing,” I answered shooting a glare at him. “I said go away.”

“Come on, Jack,” he countered as we turned the corner to the parking lot. The only cars that were left belonged to the football players that were old enough to drive. No one was milling around or talking, most of the fall sports were kicking off so not a lot of people that would be back here had free time to do so anymore.

“No,” I said as he reached up and grabbed my arm to stop me. “I said get the fuck away from me.”

“Fine,” Luke said and I hated that he sounded completely calm. Not even a hint of hurt or anger at my attitude. Here I was about to explode and he was standing next to me like nothing was going on. I knew he was just trying to keep his cool. Something I should be trying to do before everyone started talking about me.

“Are you going to get in?” I asked as I unlocked my car and opened my door. He was still hesitating by my side of the car.

“I don’t know,” he said looking at the car and trying not to smirk. “You’re not going to rage crash us into anything are you?”

“Shut up,” I hissed biting my bottom lip and hating that he managed to break through some of my despair. “I’ll try not to.”

“Alright, Mom brought me anyway and I didn’t feel like riding the bus today,” he said as he shrugged and walked around to the passenger side.

“So you were, what, just going to hang out at the football field and hope I let you ride home with me?” I asked holding the door open. I glanced around to make sure that Mom wasn’t trotting after us in her heels. I couldn’t see most of the Football field from where I was parked, but I doubted she waited around long after I stormed off.

“Yeah,” he answered shrugging.

“You’re pushing your luck, you know that,” I countered sliding into my seat closing my door behind me. I watched him open his door and slide into the passenger seat. When he closed his door I started the engine and slammed my seat belt home before I put the car in gear and slung gravel as I left the parking lot.

As we drove in no real direction I kept glancing over at Luke from the corner of my eye. He was looking forward, but I had the suspicion that he was also shooting covert looks in my direction. The silence made me want to explode. For once he wasn’t saying anything and even though I didn’t want to talk, I wanted him to fill the silence with something to keep me out of my own head.

“So,” he said finally breaking the silence. “Where are we headed, you’ve done a couple of u-turns.”

“I don’t know,” I countered glancing around, my hands ached with my grip on the wheel and when I noticed the park in the distance I slowed down and turned when I reached the access road.

“Well you could have saved some gas, we passed the park like three times,” he said and I slammed the breaks not caring that I was taking up three parking spaces. No one came to the park during weekdays, it wasn’t officially even open to the general public yet, but I figure there’d be some people out playing basketball or mingling around in the parking lot.

“Shut up,” I groaned putting the car into park and getting out. I slammed the door behind me and didn’t care to wait for him, but when I heard his door open and close I pressed the lock down button on my car until I heard my horn. I kept walking until I found the entrance to one of the hiking trails to the river and slowed my pace as Luke caught up to me.

“Mom will be wondering where I am by now,” he commented and I looked over to see him looking around the woods, up at the canopy, then back towards me.

“I didn’t ask you to come,” I countered flexing my hands at my sides as we walked.

“You kind of did,” he argued smirking as he reached out and snapped off a twig. “Are you going to tell me what that was about?”

“You know Coach would have kicked your ass off the field, no one is allowed to watch the football team practice unless they’re using the track,” I said pulling on my shirt collar. The humidity caused it to cling to me and I felt myself begin to sweat, it didn’t take long here in this heat. I would be starting to really amp up my training, getting ready for my upcoming meets. My season would be starting and it would have kept me busy until April when the State Championships started. Now I wasn’t seeing the point, I felt it was too late for me to even fuck with it.

“Really?” He asked cocking an eyebrow. “Even if I was there to jog around the track or something?”

“Off limits during practices, unless you’re me or on the track team,” I answered shrugging.

“Oh,” he said and I sighed. He wasn’t going to push anything out of me and I knew I brought him along to talk to him. To try to calm myself down enough to go home and not explode on Mom for keeping this from me.

“I lost my scholarship,” I mumbled looking away.

“Really?” He asked grabbing my elbow to stop me. He gently turned me towards him when I stopped walking and I looked down the trail we still had to walk in order to get to the river. We could have just walked on past the tennis courts, off trail, to get to the river faster, but I wanted to take my time. When I nodded he wrapped me into a hug and I let my arms wrap around his waist as he pulled me closer to him. I could smell his cologne and shampoo, being only slightly taller than he was. I breathed deeper and sighed as I tried to even out my breathing. “I’m sorry about that.”

“I knew it was too good to be true anyway,” I countered backing out of the hug. I hated when people apologize for shit that wasn’t their fault. “I’m just an idiot kid from a local YMCA.”

“Shut up,” he said shaking his head. “You love swimming, I could see that the first time I tagged along and Rick Tate yelled at you the entire time.”

“So?” I asked shrugging my shoulders. “It’s not good enough, I’ll never…”

“Shut up!” He yelled reaching out to grab my shoulders. I could feel the pressure of his fingertips and I wanted to shrug him off. “So that scholarship didn’t work out, their loss.”

“You don’t get it,” I hissed frowning. “I don’t have time, they were the only school to offer me one.”

“So you’re giving up and quitting on something you’ve done your whole life?” He asked still holding me in place.

“Why do you care?” I asked shrugging out of his grasp. We started walking towards the river again.

“Did you want it?” He asked after a minute or so of silence.

“What? The Scholarship?” I asked kicking a rock off the trail. It went crashing a few yards into the forest and I heard a squirrel start chirping from the sound it made.

“Yeah,” he answered turning to look at me.

“I did want it,” I said as we came to the clearing and reached the bank of the river. The water had fallen down more since we were tubing. It always looked pitiful this time of year, but the fall rain and the winter snow will swell it back to full power before Spring. The water wasn’t murky and I could see fish swimming up and down stream looking for food. “I wanted to get into college, I wanted to swim and see how far I could get away from this shit hole town.”

“So you were running away then?” He asked as I bent and picked up a small rock.

“Not really,” I answered as I tossed it into the river. The rock caused a tiny splash and ripple that quickly smoothed back out in the moving water, like it never even happened. “It was just something I worked really hard for, something bigger than myself, you know?”

“Yeah,” he offered picking up his own rock, I watched him toss it into the river. Fish scurried away from the intrusion and when I turned back to look at him he was smirking. When he noticed me looking at him he turned to face me. “So don’t give up, I’ll help you.”

“How?” I asked swallowing hard against the tightness of my throat. I had been on the edge of losing it and crying since the football field. I wasn’t about to break down in front of him though.

“I don’t know,” he answered offering me a small smile. “Maybe I’ll just believe in you until you do again.”

“Shut up,” I said rolling my eyes as I looked at the ground.

“Are you always this stubborn?” He asked reaching for my hand. When I offered mine he took it and laced our fingers together. The touch sent a chill through me and when I looked up, his eyes were warm. I felt myself holding my breath and sighed.

“Yes,” I said grimacing slightly when my voice fell off to a whisper.

“Are you ready to go see what your Mom has to say?” He asked still holding my hand. He didn’t wait for my answer and gently tugged to get me walking back down the trail towards the car.

“I don’t really want to hear her apologizing and telling me everything will be okay,” I countered shuffling my feet along the trail.

“I already did that,” he countered cocking an eyebrow. “Did that annoy you?”

“Yes,” I answered and smiled when he laughed.

“Alright then,” he said sighing, but the smile never faltered. “What should I do then?”

“I don’t know,” I answered as my heart raced at the change in his voice.

“Kiss you?” He asked pulling me to a stop. “Would that have helped?”

“I don’t know,” I answered and I rolled my eyes and pulled my hand from his when he laughed.

“Come on,” he groaned when I started walking again. He caught up to me and pulled me into another hug. We were in the middle of the secluded trail, far enough away from the river to no longer hear or smell the water, but not far enough along the trail to see the park or hear the traffic noises from the highway.

Luke broke the hug and I looked away shaking my head.

“You can do whatever you want to do,” he said, his voice low and calm. “You might not see it in yourself now, mostly because you’re a stubborn asshole.”

“Very funny,” I hissed trying not to smile. “I see my foul mouth has rubbed off on you, your mother will be washing that mouth out.”

“Now you’ll know why if you taste soap,” he countered and I looked down at his lips. His bottom lip was slightly fuller than the top and I noticed he hadn’t shaved, blonde stubble was gleaming a slight gold color in the sun. It seemed to make his brown eyes glow like a sunset in the fall, with golds and shades of brown.

“Yeah?” I said swallowing against my sudden nerves. We hadn’t kissed since last night and being out here, in the open and instead of at home or in the seclusion of the YMCA when we were the only ones made everything feel different. I didn’t know if I was brave enough, not here, and not while my mind was filled with everything else.

Then I saw his eyes soften and his lips part. His face started inching towards mine, so much so that he had to take a half step towards me to close the distance between us. When he stopped about halfway, I almost groaned hoping he would come on and kiss me. Then when I saw the small smile, my stomach fluttered and I leaned in and kissed him.

When our lips touched we both relaxed, the tension leaving our lips as I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him against me. I heard him sigh and his breath rush across my lips as he smiled and kissed me again. I tasted cinnamon gum and felt goosebumps all along the back of my neck when his fingertips brushed along my shirt collar to the back of my head.

“I’ve been wanting to do that all damn day,” he said breaking the kiss.

“So that’s why you skipped out on the bus,” I countered and he smiled.

“Maybe,” he hissed playfully pushing me away. He shook his head as we started walking again. I no longer felt like breaking down, instead I felt a small bit of determination creeping over me warring with the doubts I let in. I couldn’t see how I could do anything to change things though, not really.

I had everything and then most of it crumbled away. I wanted to blame everyone. I glanced at Luke knowing my life would be easier if he would go back to being someone I didn’t even know. That maybe I could focus more and kick my own ass back into shape. Maybe I could get back to the best year of my life, the one I already saw played out in front of me as soon as my senior year started.

“What?” He asked when he noticed me looking at him. We had just broke the forest line and could see the car in the distance, still parked the wrong way.

“Nothing,” I answered smiling. I didn’t want to go back though. As much as everything seemed to be falling apart at my feet. These moments with Luke were different and I felt different. It still scared the hell out of me and I didn’t know how we were going to get through the year.

“I’ll go with you to talk to your mom,” he said reaching for my hand. I quickly scanned the park to make sure no one else was around before I took reached across the space between us.

“Good,” I said and I knew that if I didn’t royally mess everything up, that Luke would be along for the ride with me. After today though, I just didn’t see how we could keep it from happening.

“So tell me something,” Luke said after we slid into my car. I was about to start the engine and turn the car around.

“What do you want to know?” I asked letting my hand rest on my car keys. He offered me a small smile not really having anything to ask me. Instead he shrugged, but didn’t turn away. I wasn’t going to say anything, we both had mothers anxiously waiting for us back at our homes. I didn’t want to stretch getting my phone back, but I knew after Rick yelled at her, Mom likely wouldn’t take it from me again.

“Why didn’t you get into football, like Derek and Toby?” He asked as I fought for breath in the hot car. I could see sweat breaking out on Luke’s forehead and his cheeks were slightly flushed. It never took long for cars to become ovens here during the summer.

“I didn’t like football,” I answered turning the key and starting the engine. The cold air hit us and I saw him sigh and lean back against the seat still turned to listen to what I had to say. I figured he was trying to calm me down and keep me talking before we got to my house. For once, I wanted the distraction and didn’t find his curiosity annoying, although, if I was being honest I never really did anyway. “Mom and Dad didn’t really want me playing either, too physical.”

“Same for my mom,” he added rolling his eyes.

“I think Rick also didn’t like seeing us all sitting around on our asses during the summer,” I explained falling back into my seat. “He was my babysitter during the summer when I was younger.”

“Yeah?” Luke prompted after my cell phone buzzed in my pocket. I already knew it was from Mom, so I ignored it. If Luke heard it, he didn’t let on.

“So one day Derek, Toby, and I were hanging out in the living room playing video games and Rick walked in carrying a box. A week or so later he dragged the three of us to the YMCA.”

“And you found out that you liked it?” Luke asked leaning forward in his seat slightly. I could see that the sweat was drying on his skin, being slowly replaced by goosebumps from the cold air.

“Hell no,” I answered and smiled when he laughed. “Toby and Derek rode my ass for weeks, they already threw enough tantrums to have run of the place during my practices. They spent the time playing basketball in the gym. Especially when Rick brought out the uniforms, they called them my water panties.”

“You do look good in those tight shorts,” he commented and I felt my face flush as I shook my head and slid the car into gear.

“Shut up, idiot,” I hissed as I did a quick u-turn in the deserted parking lot.

“You do,” He countered sliding on his seatbelt. I chewed on my bottom lip trying not to let the compliment wash over me. I could already tell my face was flushed and when I glanced over at him before pulling out onto the main road back home, I saw him trying not to laugh.

“I’m going to miss it,” I sighed swallowing against the sudden knot in my throat.

“You won’t have to,” Luke countered reaching over to grab my hand as a stupid stray tear slid down my cheek.

He let me ride home in silence, just the sound of the quiet engine and the air blowing through the vents. He kept his hand in mine all the way, but I couldn’t see how I could turn my luck around. That scholarship really was my only hope to continue swimming, something I loved. Something that had been my life for so long. I knew it would end eventually, the competitions, the time trials, Rick’s annoying as hell whistling that I could barely hear under water. I just hoped I could just make it last a few years longer, that’s all I wanted.

I groaned as I flipped my turn signal and turned into my driveway. I expected to see Mom’s boring as hell car sitting out front, but then I saw a sleek black car with pink cheerleading decals in the back windshield. I wanted to slam on the brakes and leave before Ally or Mom could look out the window and see us.

“What?” Luke asked as I still debated bolting. Then I noticed the front door swing open and Ally stepping outside followed closely by Mom. Glancing over at Luke he unfastened his seatbelt and slipped his hand from mine with a reassuring smile. “It’s just Ally.”

“Yeah,” I said killing the engine, but I couldn’t help seeing the fire in her eyes as my eyes met hers from across the driveway. “Just Ally.”

“Right behind you,” he whispered as I unfastened my seat belt. I gave him a tiny nod and led the way toward the two women waiting for us on the front porch with my mind failing on figuring a way out of this with every step we took. And I hated, more than anything, that Luke was walking beside me as if we were still on a stroll towards the river at the park and not walking into the continuation of my fucked up senior year.