Unforgivable - 20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Jason hurried outside, waving at his secretary as the door swung shut behind him. It’d been another busy day, but he didn’t have to disappoint Corey by cancelling again. He’d felt badly at how often he had to disrupt their plans over the last two weeks, but it couldn’t be helped. Luckily, his boyfriend was very understanding, and had even surprised him with some late night, naked fun last Friday. Now the new contract was signed, and the client was happy. There was still plenty of work left to do, but the urgency was gone.

Tonight they were going to have homemade pizza and finally go to watch the new Underworld movie. Corey had gotten off work earlier, so he was going to swing by the store for some fresh ingredients, and then they would meet up Jason’s place. By the time he arrived, Corey’s car was already parked in the driveway. Smiling in anticipation, he shut off the car and bounded up his front step.

“I will, Mom. I promise.” Corey’s voice could be heard from the kitchen. Intending to surprise the distracted man, Jason crept quietly through the house. His boyfriend’s next words stopped him short as he reached the threshold. “I know you don’t want me to be alone.” There was a pause before Corey continued, his voice sounding unsteady. “I’ll find someone when the time’s right.”

Jason’s heart thudded painfully in his chest. What the hell was going on? The brunette had his back turned, sautéing onions at the stove, and hadn’t noticed him yet. Silently, Jason backed away, and headed for the bedroom with tears stinging his eyes. He hadn’t asked, but assumed Corey had already told his mother about them. Hell, Jason had told his parents and siblings the day they’d decided to give their relationship another chance. The idea that Corey would lie to his family was like a punch in the gut.

Mechanically, he stripped off his clothes and got into the shower. The hot water should have been soothing, but he was far too tense for it to have any effect.

“Jase?”

He looked out of the corner of his eye through the steamed glass partition to where Corey stood.

“When did you get back? I didn’t even hear you come in.”

There was no way words could make it past the lump in his throat so he stayed silent, continuing to wash his hair.

“I cut up the vegetables, shredded cheese and caramelized the onions,” the brunette prattled on, seemingly oblivious to Jason’s inner turmoil. “As much fun as it is watching you soap up, I have to go and check on the sauce. We’ll talk when you come out.”

When Jason was alone again he put his palm on his chest, trying to rub away the ache. Could he be with someone who lied about having a relationship with him? Why was Corey keeping this from his mom? His musings went around and around until he finally wrenched himself from the spiraling self-pity. Since his experience with Luc, he’d promised himself he would always communicate in his relationships, and now more than ever he needed some answers. If Corey wasn’t prepared to be open and honest, then he wanted to know why from the man’s own mouth.

With that thought in mind, he towelled off and threw on the first pair of jeans he could find. Walking barefoot into the kitchen, he braced himself for the necessary discussion, even knowing it could spell the end of their relationship.

“There you are,” Corey commented with a wide smile. The shorter man walked over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “The dough is proofing and should be ready to roll out. Could you get out the rolling pin while I finish with the sauce?” Corey moved around the kitchen like he owned it, grabbing spices and utensils from the cupboards. Normally the domesticity was comforting, but today it only served to irritate him. “Come on, Jase,” Corey said with a laugh. “Move your butt. We have to be at the theatre by seven-thirty.”

“I got home while you were cooking,” Jason said softly, not budging from his position beside the island.

“I know.” Corey rolled his eyes. “I didn’t realize you were back until I heard the shower. You not stopping to say hi was a little surprising….” The brunette leaned against the island beside Jason, trailing a finger down his bare arm. “But the view of you all wet and soapy was worth it.”

Jason pulled away, and immediately felt bad when he saw the hurt and confusion in Corey’s eyes. Fighting back his guilt, he straightened, and crossed his arms across his chest. “I was going to say hi, but you were busy on the phone.”

The hurt and confusion were slowly replaced by comprehension, and even a flash of guilt. “Oh.”

“Yeah… oh.”

“How much did you hear?” Corey swallowed hard, his gaze going everywhere except his hurt boyfriend’s face.

“Enough to know your mom still thinks you’re single.” Jason could hear the coldness in his voice, but knew if he didn’t maintain some detachment, he could easily become overwhelmed with sadness and betrayal.

“Jason, you don’t understand….”

The brunette’s placating tone broke Jason’s tenuous grip on his temper. “Stop. Don’t you dare try to tell me I misunderstood what I heard. You let your mother think you were single. Stupid me, I thought we were together.” Jason pulled away when Corey tried to reach for him again. “What a fucking joke. Here I am telling my family all about us. Hell, everyone at my office, and even friends from back in Toronto know about you. Too bad I didn’t realize I was your dirty fucking secret!”

“Jason, please. Listen to me.”

“Why? So you can tell me I didn’t hear you correctly? That you actually told your mother we were together?”

Corey reared back as if he’d been slapped. Jason refused to feel badly for losing his temper. The man had gutted him like no one else could.

“Well?” he asked, glaring at the shorter man. “Did I mishear you, Corey?”

“Jase…”

“Does anyone in your family know about me?”

“Jase, please….”

“It’s a simple question, Cor. Does. Anyone. In. Your. Family. Know. About. Me?”

“Not yet,” the man whispered.

“Not yet,” Jason scoffed, laughing bitterly.

“I’m going to tell her. I swear… I already told Pierre….”

“For Christ’s sake Cor, you told Pierre for Pierre’s sake, not mine. I’m done listening to excuses. If you can’t be honest about us, then there is no us. I think you should leave.” Jason turned and stalked into the bedroom, needing space.

It only took a moment for Corey to follow, grabbing him by the arm and halting his progress. “Please listen to me.” Jason turned in time to see Corey scrubbing tears from his eyes. He tried to resist the urge to feel guilty for making the man cry, but it was killing him to see Corey hurting. “I couldn’t tell her… not yet.”

“Why the hell not?”

“She’s too fragile right now.” Corey wrapped his arms across his torso.

“Too fragile to know her son is in a relationship?”

“Jase, can we sit down and talk? Please?” Without waiting for an answer the brunette walked to the bed and sat heavily, looking expectantly at him.

Warily, Jason sat. “Okay… explain.”

“First, please know that I have forgiven you for everything that happened with Pierre,” he started. “But I’d been furious with you for a long time. In my efforts to get Mom away from the asshole she married, I would bring you up again and again, reminding her know how cheaters don’t change… shouldn’t be forgiven.”

It was Jason’s turn to recoil. “Is that what you really think?”

“Yes? No?” Corey sighed wearily. “I don’t know anymore. All I know is you made me see that you’ve changed, and deserved another chance. I don’t think Ian Smyth ever will.”

“Okay, I get that, but why the lie?”

“Mom still brings him up. I can hear in her voice that she misses him.” Corey reached for Jason’s hand. “I’m worried if I tell her I forgave you… that we’re together, she’ll think it’s okay to cave and forgive him.”

“Corey,” Jason closed his eyes for a moment, trying to reign in his temper before facing the younger man. “I get that all of your protective instincts are working overtime, but your mother is a grown woman. If she forgives her husband, that’s on her. Not you.”

“I know that,” Corey snapped.

“Do you?” Jason retorted. “Because it sounds like you’re trying to shield her from life… absolve her from having to make her own decisions. I admire that you want to help, but it hurts like hell that you could deny us so easily. I’m sick of always falling short with you.”

“I’m sorry,” Corey choked back a sob. “I wanted to tell her… I just didn’t know how she would react.”

“So what was your plan?” Jason pulled his hand back and put some distance between them. “How long were you intending on keeping us secret? A week? A month? After the first anniversary of her leaving your father? After their divorce? What about holidays? Family events?”

“When you say it that way it sounds terrible.”

“Put yourself in my shoes, Cor. How would you feel if you walked in to me lying to my family about you?”

“Fuck.” Corey’s voice came out in a pained whisper. “I really screwed this up… and I hurt you, again.”

“I can give you a little bit of time to ease your mother into this, but Cor, I won’t be your dirty secret. If you don’t think you can be honest, tell me now.”

“You’re not a dirty secret,” Corey said, a plea in his voice.

“Yeah well, that’s how I feel.”

Corey lowered his head, and stared at the floor for several minutes before looking up again with tears shimmering in his eyes. “I know you’re right,” he said finally. “In my head I understand my mother’s choices aren’t my responsibility.” A look of determination crossed his features. “You’re too important to me to lose… even if you do deserve someone better.” Reaching into his pocket he took out his phone, and started tapping on the screen.

“What are you doing?”

Corey held up his hand, and put the device to his ear. “Mom? Hey, it’s Corey again.” Not wanting to force Corey’s hand like this, Jason started to object but was quieted by a finger to his lips. “I’m fine, but when we were talking earlier I wasn’t totally honest with you about something.” There was a moment of silence as Corey listened to his mom’s response. “It’s nothing bad,” he said, giving Jason a shy smile. “I didn’t tell you that I don’t need to look for a boyfriend, because I already have one.”

The shout on the line was followed by Corey’s deep chuckle. “You don’t have to meet him. You know him already. It’s Jason… Jason Sedor.” The brunette grinned. “Yes, that Jason.”

Jason sat, stunned, listening to his boyfriend. The loving looks he was receiving were causing the anger and hurt to fade.

“That would be great. We’d love to have you come and visit sometime, and I’ll pass on your love to Jason. I love you too.”

Corey barely had time to end the call before Jason was on him, kissing him hard. “I can’t believe you did that,” he panted.

The brunette hugged him close. “I couldn’t have you doubting my feelings, no matter how much of an ass I’ve been.” Corey pulled back, his green eyes full of regret. “I’m sorry for making you doubt, again, how much you mean to me… or how proud I am to have you in my life.”

Jason rested his forehead against Corey’s. “I get why you did it. You were only trying to protect your mom. But I’m not going to lie and say it didn’t hurt.”

“I hate that I did that to you. I keep saying how important you are to me, but I fail when it comes to putting you first.” His laugh sounded self-depreciating. “Somewhere along the line, mom and I got our roles reversed, and I feel like it’s my job have to protect her from the big bad world.”

“I admire your devotion,” Jason said, honestly. “It’s one of the reasons I love you so much.”

“You love me?”

Jason’s heart stuttered when he realized what he’d just admitted. “Yes,” he answered quietly. “I love you, Corey. That’s why it hurt so bad to think you were ashamed of me.”

“Oh, Jase.” Corey’s breath hitched. “I love you too. I have for years, probably since the day I realized I liked pecs instead of breasts.” He took a deep breath. “I love you so much that sometimes I feel like this is a dream… and I almost ruined the best thing that ever happened to me, again, because of my stupidity. I’m going to get help with this. I called a therapist this morning. We’re having our first meeting next week.”

“Really?” Jason had been thinking Corey might need to talk to someone, but he didn’t want to be the one to broach the subject with the man.

“Yeah,” Corey responded, one side of his mouth curving up in a smile. “I know I need help figuring things out before I do something you can’t forgive me for.” The younger man suddenly looked unsure. “You do forgive me… don’t you?”

“You were trying to protect someone you love, and made a mistake. You fixed it… not that I wanted to force your hand that way… but yes, of course I forgive you.”

“I hated lying. You may not believe me, but I would have told her the truth soon. I wouldn’t have been able to keep you a secret forever.” He cupped Jason’s jaw. “She was already noticing how much happier I’ve been.”

Unable to resist, Jason kissed his boyfriend again. “I love you,” he whispered against Corey’s lips.

The time for conversation was over as clothes were thrown around the room, and naked bodies slid against each other. Hands touched anywhere they could reach, while mouths explored, leaving damp trails on heated skin. Jason’s breath sped up as he watched his spit-slick fingers stretching the writhing man beneath him.

“Please, Jase.” Corey panted, grinding against Jason’s hand. “I need you….”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Corey stilled for a moment, looking him in the eye. “I want this. I want you.”

Jason blindly fumbled for the lube and condoms, while Corey’s busy fingers continued their teasing. Pleasure-filled groans and loving whispers echoed in the room as Jason entered Corey for the first time. The intensity was almost overwhelming, especially knowing it was Corey… his best friend… his lover. Their bodies moved together, finding a rhythm that quickly brought both men to the edge. Jason had wanted this for so long he knew he wasn't going to last. Reaching between them, Corey stroked his cock in time to Jason’s thrusts.

“So close,” Corey panted, ending with a moan. A few more strokes and Corey erupted all over his stomach and chest, bucking and driving the big blonde deeper. Corey’s climax pushed Jason over the edge seconds later, shouting his boyfriend’s name as he came. He held himself over his lover, meeting Corey’s love-filled gaze with one of his own until his tired limbs prompted him to move.

“Damn… that was amazing,” Jason said with a loopy grin. He stared up at the ceiling, waiting for his heartrate to slow.

Corey snuggled into his side. “It was well worth the wait.” He raised his head and looked at the clock on the dresser with a chuckle. “But I don’t think we’re ever going to see that movie.”

A big thank you goes out to my wonderful editor and friend, Gary,    and thank you to all of you who read and support this story.