The Hidden Ones: Resurrection - 1. Twist of Fate

I couldn’t believe my eyes as the near corpse sat on the surgery table in front of me. Violently shaking and seizing as he longed for freedom. I froze for a few seconds as the significance of the moment took over in my head. But before I could say anything, before I could hesitate any longer the head nurse grabbed my arm.

“Dr. Haner.” She let out, trying to shake me into the moment. “Can you handle this or not?”

“I can handle it.” I quickly let out, stepping up to the table. “Ryder? Ryder? Can you hear me?” I asked, taking a long look as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. “If you can hear me, it-it’s me Teddy. I’m going to put you in a coma and try to help, but you-you need to fight. I can’t do this without you, one last time, just you and me, let-let’s do this.” I forced out, throwing the breathing mask over his face and letting the anesthesiologist take it over.

Once I started working it was like he was any other patient. Yet still, this is the worst case I’ve ever seen in my life. Years of drug abuse had finally collapsed over itself as his suicide attempt took place. It was the perfect storm for someone that wanted to end it all. The perfect timing to just give up. Pumping his stomach was just the beginning as layers and layers of damage had already spread to a few of his major organs.

But my team never stopped working. They never hesitated for a second. They helped pull me to the finish line as we finally closed him back up and had him moved to a hospital bed. I-I have no idea if he’ll make it or not. I have no idea if this is going to work, but I-I have to believe. It’s not about our love life right now, it’s about saving a patient. Saving another human, that whether I believe it or not, could make a positive impact on the world.

As I slumped into the chair next to his bed I couldn’t help but shake my head. Okay, maybe it’s a little about our love life. My staff left me alone and carried my shift as I refused to leave his side. It was for the better anyway, the four hour surgery had left me beaten and exhausted. I would be useless in surgery right now, and sometimes admitting that is the best way to help.

At some point as the sun rose I fell asleep in my chair. “Is-is this heaven?” A voice woke me up as I saw the man next to me quietly shake awake. “How did I get here?”

“By ambulance.” I muttered, beginning to finally wake back up.

“Ambulances take you to heaven?” He asked as the various drugs we had him on messed with his thinking.

“Don’t be stupid.” I groaned as the significance of the moment fully fell on me. The relief of him waking up was immediately replaced by the stress of being with him. “You’re alive, in a hospital.”

“But you’re here.” He shook his head, looking around the room and trying to get a read on the situation. “And you, sleeping by my side, I’m dead. I have to be.”

“Yeah, well despite your hardest effort, you’re not.” I let out, taking a long look at the medical chart in my lap. I shook my head and tried my hardest to ignore what he had just said.

“Are you really my doctor?” He smirked, trying his hardest to act sober.

“For now.” I grumbled, amazed that he was even awake and talking. It’s been a good eight hours since surgery, but still, he shouldn’t be awake yet. “And wipe that god damn smirk off your face. You just tried to kill yourself. This isn’t a game.”

“Come on, it’s slightly crazy that out of all the places, I wound up here with you.” He tried to bait, refusing to let it go.

“Is it?” I shook my head, already starting to lose my patience with him. “More like we both have the same hometown with just one hospital. Then you had the bright idea of trying to kill yourself in it, and poof you needed a trauma surgeon. Real Disney fairy tale we’ve got going on here.”

As the words sank in from what I had said I watched the high fade from his face. I watched as he slowly came to terms with what he had done, and what was going on because of it. “Why am I chained up?” He groaned, trying to reach up to his head.

“Do you remember what you did last night?” I emphasized, trying my hardest to drive home the point. Sure, sometimes people who try to kill themselves come through traumatized, but sometimes-sometimes they find themselves in full blown denial. “It’s not a trick question, its fine if you don’t.”

“I do.” He answered, as the look on his face grew darker by the second. “So you chained me up?”

“It’s protocol with a case as severe as yours.” I mumbled, looking back down at the chart.

“Enough about that.” He shook his head, quickly trying to change the subject. “Let’s talk about you saving me. I-I never imagined that,”

As our eyes connected once more I saw that look I would once kill for. No matter how much time it’s been, not matter how long we’ve been apart, my heart still jumps at the sight. His words became a static in my ears as all I could focus on was the beeps of his heart monitor. “I can’t do this.” I finally interrupted him, standing up and walking towards the door. “I’m sorry. I’ll get you a new doctor.”

He grew quiet but as I reached the door way slightly sat up. “I never stopped loving you.” He gasped, until finally his body forced him back down. Too tired from the surgery to withstand his demands.

I tried my hardest to keep walking but his words froze me in place. “Ryder,” I exhaled, looking back at him.

“It’s the truth.” He shook his head. “Come back, and sit for a bit.”

I thought about running out, about slamming the door behind me and never turning back but my body wouldn’t let me. As though it was moving all on its own it shut the door and willed me back into the chair next to him. “You have three minutes.” I instructed, knowing I had to draw a line somewhere.

“I have three minutes to what? Tell you what you already know?” He coldly asked, looking deeply into my eyes. “You’re a smart man Teddy. I know you remember that night on the bathroom floor.” I shook my head, and tried my hardest to hide way from the night that had been haunting me for years. “I told you I’d be back for you. You, you promised you’d be there for me.” He spoke until finally I shook my head in an effort to stop him.

“Then you cheated on me, and shut me out.” I interrupted, not letting his attempts at charm trick me. “And I don’t care what reasons you had, you left me alone. I-I can’t forgive you for that.”

“I was just trying to save you.” He exhaled as his eyes fell from my face.

“From what?” I grumbled, trying my hardest to give him the benefit of the doubt, but even then, my heart just wouldn’t let me.

“I put my will in your parent’s mailbox last night. Just, it’ll explain everything.” He groaned, turning his head away from me. “Please don’t switch doctors yet, you’re the only person here I know can help.”

“Can help what?” I asked, finally starting to take him serious.

He shook his head but I let the silence apply the pressure I knew my words couldn’t. “I want to die Teddy.” He confessed as he fully came to terms with what happened. “I can’t live with myself anymore.”

“Ryder,” I began, standing up to get a look at him, but he waived me off with a loud whip of chains.

“Go home and read the letter.” He forced out. “And please, give me something for the pain.”

“No.” I shook my head, walking towards the door. “I put you on I.V.s as you slept. Now, now you have to man up and deal with it.”

“Please Teddy!” He begged through desperate groans. “Please!”

“No.” I shook my head again as I had to turn away to hide the water in my eyes. “I’ll have them give you enough to stop withdrawal but I’m not feeding your addiction. I’ll kill you myself before I do that.”

He let out a few more pleas as I slammed his door behind me. “Sorry.” I sniffled, bumping into a big brolic officer outside the door.

“It’s alright.” The officer let out, turning and trying to get a good look at me. “Teddy?” He asked in disbelief.

“Mike?” I groaned taking a long look at him. “What the hell is happening today?” I asked, more to myself than him.

“I-I found Ryder last night,” He shook his head in disbelief. “And I volunteered to be his security detail from press and media. I-I have wrongs I need to right.”

“I can’t do this right now.” I dismissed, finally fending the tears off.

“I understand.” He nodded, reaching out to pat me but quickly stopping himself. “Some other time?”

“Yeah.” I agreed, looking back at the door. “Besides, you’re guarding my newest patient. I couldn’t avoid you even if I wanted to.”

“How the hell did we get here?” He exhaled, looking back through the window at Ryder.

“I don’t know.” I shook my head, beginning to walk away. “I really don’t.”

*************************************************************************************

As I left the hospital I saw a mob of press at the front entrance fighting a blockade of police officers. I’d never seen everything this crazy. I must be sleep deprived or something. I swear to god I’m hallucinating.

As I pulled into the driveway and wandered into the front door Oliver rushed up to me. “Is he okay?” He nervously let out as he wore one of the old tour shirts I had given him.

“What do you mean?” I shook my head, wandering to the kitchen table and falling into a chair.

“Ryder Sullivan?!” He yelped, as his hands shook. “Is he okay?”

“I can’t share that.” I grumbled, looking towards my mom. “How does he even know something happened?”

“We all do.” She let out, taking a long look at me. “There’s video of him getting carted out of that old house in the cemetery.”

“Well that’s fucking fantastic.” I groaned as my mom shot me a serious look. “Look Oliver,” I forced out as his eyes stayed on me. “I really can’t tell you anything, you guys shouldn’t even know that something happened.” Oliver let out a small whimper as he heard my words. “Oli,” I began once more, realizing how much this meant to him. “If something went wrong would I look this okay?”

“So you were the surgeon!” Oliver yelped, shaking even more than before.

“I didn’t say that.” I corrected, staring him down. “And I don’t want to see any updates anywhere!”

“I won’t tell anyone!” He swore, rushing back upstairs to no doubt go listen to more Messiah.

“What happened last night Teddy?” My mom asked, starting to talk seriously now that Oliver was gone.

I could feel tears fall from my eyes as I thought it all over. “He tried to kill himself.” I forced out, trying my hardest to hide my pain. “What if it was because of what I said to him?” I asked, as our eyes connected. “What if I pushed him over the edge?”

“You just told him what he already knew.” She tried to comfort. “And if it was because of what you said, well you just saved his life. I think he’ll forgive you.”

“It’s not about forgiveness,” I shook my head once more. “It’s-it’s about, about,”

“Going back to that summer?” She asked, but I looked away and refused to answer. She let her words soak the air for a few minutes before taking another long look at me.

“Did any mail come for me?” I asked, before she could say anything.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged, figuring I was just avoiding the topic. “The pile’s right in front of you.” She watched as I sorted through the mail and picked out a fat white envelope addressed to me. “What’s that?”

“Nothing.” I lied, standing back up and heading towards the stairs. “Just bills and stupid stuff.”

“Alright.” She raised her eyes brows, and shook her head.

It was obvious I was lying, but what do I care? What’s she going to do, go into my room and read it? I shook my head as I heard Oliver sitting in his room and singing along to Messiah. If only he was old enough to understand what happened all those years ago, maybe then, maybe then he would understand why I can’t forgive him. Why I’m still so angry.

With a shaky hand I ripped open the white envelope and picked apart the legal documents until I finally found a handwritten note.

“Teddy,

I don’t even know where to begin. I don’t know what to write or how to break through to you. You’re a different person than the kid I left all those years ago. You’ve grown, and now I see that instead of helping you to grow away from pain, I pushed you right into it. You were right for yelling at me in the store today. You were right for letting me have it. More importantly you were right for saying you should’ve left me alone. That is what I did to you, and now, now I would trade anything to take that decision away.

I know you’ll never forgive me. I know you can’t. I’ll never expect you to. But I pray to god you’ve never forgotten about me. I pray that you know I meant every single word I said. I only left because I thought it’d help save you. I’m a curse Teddy. And as overdramatic as that sounds, just look at my life. My parents, my grandma, hell, even Tommy wound up getting diagnosed with cancer halfway through our run. Everyone who I let get close, they burn painfully and slowly. I couldn’t chance that happening to you.

I want you to know that doesn’t mean I ever stopped loving you. The sex tape was fake. I didn’t even finish, I just did what I had to to make it look believable. I swear to you that was it. All those years ago I told you there’s a place in my heart for you. Well it’s been here all this time, and no matter what I took, no matter what I did, nothing could ever fill it. I came back to New Jersey not in hopes of finding sobriety, but in hopes of finding you. You’re the only thing left in this world that can put me back together. The only thing left living for.

But now I see it’s not fair to ask that of you. I can’t put that weight on your shoulders. I can’t ruin your life any more than I have. It’s ironic. I held it against my dad all this time, convinced that what he had done was selfish. Even after that note I was still so angry, but now I understand why he did it. Now I get that sometimes the best solution is leaving.

Please, whatever you do, don’t blame yourself. I’m the one who fucked up. I’m the one who left you. I’m the one who broke your heart. I’m the one to blame. I just hope that by leaving you everything, I hope you see that I really did love you.

I leave you my money, my houses, my cars, my instruments , every last thing I have. If you don’t want it, use it wisely, give it to charities than can help. Hell, give it to Oliver. Talking to him, looking into his eyes, he’s going to be bigger than you and I ever could’ve dreamed.

I guess in all of this, what I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry Teddy. I’m so so sorry. It’s not fair, and it’s not right, but I had to go. If I didn’t leave I would’ve done this twelve years ago. I would’ve killed myself so much sooner, even if you were by my side, the pain was just too much then, and now, well its unbearable.

My love for you never died. Thank you for that summer. Thank you for showing me what happiness was like. You hold my heart, and I’ll always owe you for that.

I love you,

Ryder Sullivan”

Tears flooded my eyes as I read it over and over again before finally looking through all the paperwork. He tried to leave me everything. From Skyline Cemetery to beach houses in L.A., all his properties, all his royalties, all his millions of dollars. Ryder you stupid ass, I, how many times did I have to tell you I don’t care about stuff?

I sat there in silence desperately trying to figure out what to do. He, he does still love me. After all these years, after everything he did. He didn’t even cheat! He was trying to save me. But I-I still can’t forgive him. I’ve been hurting for the past thirteen years. I’ve barely even been able to trust my friends. He fucked me up bad, and what? I’m just supposed to forget all that because he’s back now?

Before I could think any longer I heard my door quietly creak open and quickly hid the letter and paperwork on my desk. “Teddy?” I heard Oli let out as the door finally swung open.

“What’s up?” I let out, quickly wiping the water from my face.

“I just,” He nervously began once more. “I never got to thank you.”

“For what?” I asked, as he slowly walked up and hugged me.

“For saving Ryder’s life.” He answered with a smile. “You hate him, and you,”

“I didn’t save anyone. I was just doing my job.” I interrupted, before he could get his hopes up.

“I know,” He softly exhaled. “In the store, he told me he still loves you. I think you should talk to him.” I slowly nodded, and pulled him in tightly again once more. “So you will?”

“I don’t know Oli.” I confessed running through it once more. “I really don’t.”

You’ve controlled so much of my life Ryder Sullivan. You were once the reason I woke up in the morning, but now you’ve become everything I hate about life. You were the reason I believed in love, but now you’re the reason I hate it. But still, falling asleep next to you this morning, there was nowhere else I’d rather be. The second I saw you were in pain I wanted to fix it. We both still have so much healing we need to do, but maybe, maybe you being back by my side. Maybe it won’t be the worst thing in this world.