Something Unexpected - 24. Chapter 24

The next morning I woke up knowing that today wasn’t going to be good. I wanted to roll over and go back to sleep, but Chandler’s mom was nudging me awake. I didn’t know where Chandler was and until she spoke to me I thought it was him. Hearing her voice made me instantly awake and I sat up in the bed and pulled the covers over my body, they had fallen down to my knees sometime and I felt uncomfortable being this naked in front of some strange woman. I wasn’t completely comfortable being this way in front of Chandler either, but I forced myself to forget that last night before I allowed myself to fall asleep.

 

“Are you awake Andrew?” She asked and I nodded. She then left me with out telling me anything so I got off the bed. I felt stupid this morning waking up in Chandler’s room. I was too scared to sleep by myself and I didn’t want to face Mom or Laura to explain why so I called Chandler to come bail me out of another situation.

 

“Do you have any homework?” Chandler asked entering the room with a towel over his bare shoulders, but he had put on pants remembering the last time I saw him naked.

 

“No.” I answered watching him dry his hair a little more.

 

“Then you can go take a shower in the bathroom, its down the hall to the left.” Chandler stated and I walked over to my bag that I had packed with clothes for school today.

 

“Shit I forgot a shirt.” I hissed slamming my bag back down on the floor and shaking my head.

 

“No sweat just wear one of mine.” Chandler offered then opened his closet door and pointed to his shirts. I smiled weakly and walked over to them and he picked me one out. “I think this one is going to look the best on you.”

 

“Ok.” I responded taking it from him without thinking and walked past him in search for the bathroom to shower. It felt odd after finding it then undressing in the large bright bathroom. Every room in the house was brightly lit and spotless. Our house there were a lot of earth tones and a dimmer light. Mom liked the peace if gave her and I was used to it more so than this. I felt watched under these bright lights. I turned and examined myself in the mirror. I did look normal my short brown hair and blue eyes looked normal. My developing body didn’t look abused or mistreated. I looked the same. The target I thought I had went away as I stood there still looking myself over. Satisfied I stepped into the shower and started cleaning. I came out smelling like Chandler and I liked it. I got dressed and walked out after straightening my clothes and taking another look in the mirror feeling better about the day. I found Chandler sitting on his bed drumming his thumbs against his legs looking out the window at the wind blowing a tree. I knocked on the door causing him to jump and look over at me.

 

“Wow.” He slipped standing up.

 

“Wow?” I asked looking behind me.

 

“You can have that shirt as long as you promise to wear it every day.” Chandler whispered standing up and looking me over.

 

“It’s just a shirt.” I offered shrugging. It was just a shirt. It was a white shirt that had a red collar and sleeves. It was snug on me since Chandler liked wearing his shirts tight himself.

 

“Are you ready to go?” Chandler asked forcing himself to look away from me. He grabbed both our bags and didn’t let me carry mine out to the car as I followed him down. His parents had already left when we entered the living room and walked out the front door. As we got closer to the school I grew unsure of myself again. I didn’t like how I was looking in this shirt anymore, not after the reaction Chandler gave me. I wouldn’t want unwanted attention from this.

 

“Chandler can we skip school?” I asked looking over at him hopeful.

 

“We can’t skip school.” Chandler answered glancing over at me.

 

“Why not?” I asked tugging on the front of the shirt hoping to stretch the material a little.

 

“Because I already am in enough trouble for missing classes.” Chandler answered smiling. “You also have practice.”

 

“I’m quitting.” I stammered quickly. I couldn’t face Marcus ever again. I wouldn’t know what I would do or say if I ever did.

 

“You can’t quit, you’re the star.” Chandler countered slowing down to turn into the school parking lot where he found his designated spot and parked turning off the car then tuning to me.

 

“I can’t do it anymore.” I stated looking down at my hands. “Marcus is on the team.”

 

“So what?” Chandler asked reaching across the gearshift grabbing my hand carefully. “He wasn’t the one who did that to you.”

 

“Yeah, but he left me and that’s why it happened.” I hissed looking at him then out the window. “I can’t help blaming him for it.”

 

“You can’t blame him for it and you can’t quit either.” Chandler responded and I took my hand from his and opened the door grabbing my backpack leaving him. I didn’t want to argue with him over this. I know what I could or couldn’t do and him telling me what to do wasn’t helping. I could never face Marcus and I knew that. Coach Swan would never cut Marcus either, he was a senior and had always been on the team. Marcus was the team captain and I would just have to quit. I didn’t want to be stressed out about Marcus more than what I had to be.

 

“Andrew Keller?” Someone asked grabbing me on the shoulder causing me to go rigid. I wasn’t watching where I was going and I turned to look at who touched me.

 

“I am Andrew Keller.” I answered, “Who are you?”

 

“I’m Luke from gym.” Luke responded giving me a weird look. “You’re still not ok are you?”

 

“I don’t want to talk about that.” I hissed looking around. “What do you want?”

 

“Well I’m a freshman writer for the paper and they want me to do an article on you for the first edition this year.” Luke answered smiling then held up his laptop.

 

“We have gym.” I stated taking a step toward the gym, but he stopped me.

 

“I got us out of gym for this.” Luke countered holding up our passes then handed me mine. I took it not really wanting to talk to him, but I didn’t want to go into gym either. I followed Luke into the library where we sat at a table away from everyone as he booted up his laptop. I had never been in the Library and it was nice with a large computer lab as well as the books there. There were four librarians working here and right now they were giving a tour to some English class that would be using it for the next few days to do their first paper.

“How long will this take?” I asked growing impatient.

 

“As long as it takes.” Luke answered shrugging. “That pass is good for as much time as we need.”

 

“Ok.” I shrugged. “Are you ready?”

 

“Are you?” He asked ignoring my question and I nodded carefully then he put his hands on the keyboard of his laptop ready to start. He started typing ignoring me for a few minutes as I sat there looking around. “Alright I’m ready to start questioning you.”

 

“Fine.” I answered offering him a small smile.

 

“What do your parents do?” Luke asked and I sighed relieved that this was going to be general instead of personal.

 

“My mom is a cosmetic surgeon and my dad is a business executive.” I answered and Luke’s mouth dropped slightly before he keyed it in. He asked me their names then about Laura. Then went into what I wanted to do after high school and what college I wanted to attend to. All of it was easy and I was calm and glad that he got me out of class where I didn’t have to face people and possibly talk about things that I didn’t want to talk to.

 

“So how does it feel to be a gay athlete?” Luke asked and it made me go rigid and I took in a sharp breath looking at him. The question caught me off guard.

 

“I’m not answering that.” I whispered quickly.

 

“It’s just a question.” Luke countered smiling.

 

“And I have the option of not answering it.” I responded crossing my arms. “Are we finished?”

 

“No we aren’t finished.” Luke answered then typed a few things before turning to look at me again. “How did your family take it when they found out?”

 

“Enough Luke.” I snapped glaring at him. “I don’t want my sexuality in that article and if you put it in there I will find you and I will kick your ass.”

 

“It’s part of who you are though.” Luke countered frowning. “This article won’t be real if it’s not fully about you.”

 

“It’s enough about me and I am not going to answer anything dealing with my sexuality.” I whispered looking around.

 

“Fine then.” Luke stated a little annoyed then closed his laptop. “We’re finished then.”

 

“Finally.” I stammered getting up and leaving him. I was going to be the first one to grab the school paper tomorrow morning after they’re printed to read what exactly Luke put in there about me. He looked like an honest enough person, but I learned not to trust journalists from the media and I knew that he wanted to put that I was gay to add to a juicy twist. Coach didn’t want that in there and I didn’t want it in there either. I gave my teacher my pass letting me back into class and started taking notes using school as an excuse for me not to think about anything that was worrying me just days before. I didn’t know how Tim or Evan felt about me or if anyone had talked about my weekend and it somehow got out. I didn’t think about Chandler and how me made me mad this morning even if I realized I was being unreasonable. It was lunch that made me start worrying about everything. I had to face Jase and Chandler at lunch and when I sat down after getting my tray not planning to actually eat I waited for it. Ann was sitting alone for the time being waiting on Evan and Tim to come since Mandy was still suspended for slapping those guys that gave me a hard time in gym. I had been avoiding her during classes that we shared and she didn’t cause a scene in class she wasn’t that pushy, but it was her that made me go to that thing with Marcus and it was something that made me not want to talk to her.

 

“Hey.” Jase greeted sitting down. He surprised me because I was still staring at Ann and didn’t see him come into the cafeteria.

 

“Hi.” I responded smiling as he sat down in the seat next to me.

 

“How are you holding up?” He asked in a hushed voice.

 

“I’m fine.” I answered shrugging.

 

“That shirt looks good on you.” Jase complimented and I looked down.

 

“It’s Chandler’s shirt.” I stated blushing slightly.

 

“Why do you have one of his shirts on?” Jase asked looking surprised.

 

“I couldn’t sleep alone at home and I didn’t want to explain why to my mom or Laura.” I answered looking down at my tray. We were having what looked like lasagna, but I wasn’t certain.

 

“So you ran away?” Jase asked shaking his head. “Why didn’t you call me?”

 

“It was late Jase.” I responded turning to look at him. “What would you have done anyway?”

 

“Talked to you.” Jase answered frowning. “You know you have more than one friend that is willing to help you with this.”

 

“But you can’t Jase.” I countered and he sighed crossing his arms neglecting the food on his tray as well.

 

“I know I can’t, because every little problem you have you go running to Chandler.” Jase snapped glaring at me in a way that I didn’t care too much for.

 

“Don’t argue with me, shit.” I huffed scooting my tray away and rubbing my fore head. I didn’t need Jase bitching about how I don’t confide in him. Chandler was the person I went to, because he was the only person that came to save me. I felt the closest to him and I had feelings for him. I had friends willing to help, but I hadn’t told most of them. Jase couldn’t help me, I didn’t want him to. I wanted Chandler to fix it. I needed Chandler to fix it

 

“What’s going on?” Ann asked coming to sit at the table. She had obviously heard my outburst and came over.

 

“Nothing Ann.” I answered shrugging. “I just burnt my tongue on this shitty lasagna.”

 

“You liar you haven’t even touched it.” Ann countered laughing slightly. “And you sounded pissed.”

 

“He has a huge problem that he won’t let me help him with.” Jase stated causing both Ann and I to look at him.

 

“What problem?” Ann asked turning to look at me.

 

“You need to tell her Andy, she’s your friend too.” Jase added and I looked at Ann and she nodded expectantly. I didn’t want to tell her. I wanted to be mad at her for making me go to that damn party with Marcus. It wasn’t her fault though. She had now way of knowing how bad that night would turn out to be.

 

“Something bad happened at the party and Jase is pissed because I called Chandler last night for help instead of him.” I answered almost whispering. “I don’t want to go into details about that night.”

 

“Well how do you expect me to understand if you don’t?” Ann asked, but she didn’t sound pissed that I wasn’t going to tell her the whole story. She sounded concerned mostly and a little surprised.

 

“If you want to help you can fill her in with the details, I’ll see you guys later.” I huffed then stood emptying my tray and walking out of the cafeteria. I regretted that decision as soon as I was alone and walking down the halls. I had no where to go so I went to my locker and fumbled around with the lock for a minute thinking.

 

“Andy?” Marcus asked from behind me.

 

“What the fuck do you want?” I growled turning around.

 

“I wanted to talk to you.” Marcus answered carefully.

 

“Well I want you to stay the hell away from me.” I countered stepping around him to walk down the hall. He followed me and grabbed hold of my shoulder spinning me around to look at him.

 

“Look.” Marcus stated calmly. “I know what happened to you and I’m sorry that I left you like that. I feel really bad about that.”

 

“I don’t care.” I whispered shrugging his hand off my shoulder glaring at him.

 

“I said I was sorry.” Marcus responded crossing his arms. “Forgive me?”

 

“No.” I stammered turning to walk away. When he grabbed my shoulders again I went rigid. That night flooding back into my thoughts.

 

“Let me make it up to you.” Marcus stated carefully.

 

“You can make it up to me Marcus.” I hissed turning around smacking his hands off of me. “By staying the hell away from me.”

 

“What’s going on here?” Chandler asked from behind me causing me to jump and Marcus to look at him.

 

“Nothing.” Me and Marcus both answered at the same time causing me to frown at him.

 

“Marcus go to lunch.” Chandler ordered and Marcus looked hurt, but turned and walked towards the cafeteria anyway.

 

“Thanks.” I whispered as I felt Chandler’s arms wrap around my waist pulling me into him. It made me look around the hallway to make sure no one was around and when someone appeared from the bathroom I stepped away from Chandler and turned around to face him.

 

“What happened?” Chandler asked looking me over. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

 

“I was just dreading running into Marcus and I didn’t want it to happen this soon.” I answered truthfully.

 

“Are you going to be ok?” Chandler asked rubbing both my shoulders me at arms length away from him.

 

“I guess.” I sighed looking away. “I just want to forget about it and move on, but I can’t.”

 

“Don’t get frustrated.” Chandler responded offering me a smile after I looked up at him. “Just focus on things that make you happier and you’ll be ok.”

 

“Yeah, after I quit Marcus will be out of my life.” I agreed nodding slightly. Chandler dropped his hands to his side and he frowned. He still didn’t like that I was going to quit basketball after school today.

 

“You know, basketball could be the outlet you need to focus on something.” Chandler whispered carefully. “But I don’t want to fight you on this again.”

 

“Good, because I don’t want to with you either.” I said shrugging then looking away. Chandler hadn’t ate yet and I wondered where he had been earlier and why he appeared the way that he did. I had expected him to be in the cafeteria, but he wasn’t. He came from the opposite direction. He hadn’t gone to class.

 

“You’re staring at me.” Chandler stammered scratching his head.

 

“Why aren’t you in lunch?” I asked curiously.

 

“I was doing something.” Chandler answered looking away. “It wasn’t something bad or anything.”

 

“What then?” I asked crossing my arms. “You wasn’t in your class?”

 

“Don’t be mad.” Chandler sighed before he answered. “I was talking to your sister.”

 

“You talked to my sister?” I asked shocked. “What the hell for?”

 

“Calm down Andy.” Chandler ordered carefully.

 

“Fine I’m calm.” I sighed glaring at Chandler.

 

“She was looking for me.” Chandler stated, “She wanted to know why you left and I didn’t tell her, but I don’t know how long it’s going to take before she’s too curious to stand it.”

 

“Until she sees me.” I responded shaking my head. “Things keep getting fucked up around me and I don’t know what the hell it is.”

 

“Well you did run out last night.” Chandler said carefully.

 

“You never say the right things.” I hissed looking at him for a few seconds before walking away from him with him following me until I ducked into my classroom. The teacher was sitting in there eating her lunch when I got in there and I scared her causing her to almost drop her drink.

 

“Mr. Keller you’re not supposed to be in here until the bell.” She stated pointedly. “Do you have a pass?”

 

“No, I don’t have a pass Mrs. Graham.” I answered walking to my desk. “I’m just getting my stuff I’m not feeling so well so I’m going home.”

 

“Oh, ok.” She responded shrugging then went back to eating. I left the room and looked at Chandler who was waiting outside for me. He had heard me talking to her and he walked with me to the front of the school not saying a word.

 

“You can’t take me home so what the hell are you doing here?” I asked turning to him frowning and shuffling my books into my bag.

 

“Why are you running from people?” Chandler asked crossing his arms. He was trying to keep from getting pissed, but I could tell that he was.

 

“Because talking to people is something that I don’t want to do right now even if people want me to.” I answered sitting down on the bench. “Can I borrow your phone?”

 

“No.” Chandler answered sitting down on the bench beside me, but there was a space between us that I slammed my bag into so that Chandler couldn’t get closer to me. I doubt he wanted to anyway.

 

“Why the fuck not?” I asked loudly turning to glare at him on the bench.

 

“Because you’re being a pain in the ass.” Chandler snapped glaring back at me. “I know what happened to you is hard to deal with, but you don’t have to be pissy with me.”

 

“You’re not helping me so don’t blame me for acting pissy with you.” I countered crossing my arms turning away from him. I didn’t want to look at him. I didn’t want to see what I was doing to him. I couldn’t help it, Chandler wasn’t giving me what I wanted for him to. I needed him to help me with this and him wanting me to stay in basketball and talk to Marcus wasn’t helping. I wanted to go home and away from all of this and he wasn’t helping me with that right now either.

 

“Just go back to class Andy you’re only making things more rough on yourself.” Chandler ordered calmly then stood and walked away from me in the direction of his class. The bell rang a few seconds after he turned the hall and then the people started filling the halls coming from the lunchroom to go to their classes. I sat there looking at them no one was paying that much attention to me and I was cursing myself for not telling g mom that I dropped and broke my cell phone. It would have been a lie, but it would have gotten me a new cell phone so that I could call her to leave her work and come get me. I diverted my eyes when I saw Laura talking to Rob walking with him to her class from lunch. I knew that she had lunch the same time I did, but we never ran into one another and I didn’t want to now. I glanced in her direction to see Rob pointing at me and then her eyes narrowing before she left him and started walking in my direction. I stood not knowing what I wanted to do. When she got halfway to me I turned and walked outside quickly and jogged to the sidewalk. I turned to see her standing at the door frowning at me. She looked over her shoulder then walked out of the school and I had no where to go.

 

“Laura go back to class.” I ordered when she got to me.

 

“You go back to class.” She ordered ignoring me crossing her arms and squinting in the sun.

 

“I already told the teacher that I was going home. I’m not going back to class.” I countered then walked to the picnic table under the large tree her following me.

 

“You know it’s pretty bad that I have to talk to some asshole about my little brother.” Laura hissed sitting down across from me placing her purse on the picnic table to stare at me.

 

“Rob talks about me?” I asked offering her a small smile.

 

“This isn’t the time to be joking around.” Laura snapped and I nodded then looked back at the school building. “Now tell me why the hell you disappeared last night?”

 

“Does mom know I left?” I asked ignoring her question.

 

“Um, yeah.” She answered immediately. “And she’s worried sick.”

 

“Oh.” I responded quietly then wiped the sweat from my forehead. “Do you want to skip school and go to the beach?”

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Laura asked impatiently. “Don’t ass around with me.”

 

“I’m not telling you.” I answered calmly which caused her to blink a few times before she grabbed her purse fumbling around in it for something. When she pulled out her lip gloss putting it on her lips then shoving it back into her bag she turned back to me looking like she could erupt at any minute.

 

“Something happened at that party didn’t it?” She asked sounding slightly worried about me.

 

“I told you…”

 

“I know what you told me, but you’re going to talk to me damn it.” She hissed interrupting me. “Since now I’m skipping class.”

 

“I’m not going to tell you.” I countered stubbornly and I could’ve swore I saw her twitch.

 

“Are you scared of what I might say?” Laura asked studying me. “What ever happened to you I want to know. I can help you with mom and I can help you be happy again, because right now you look like shit.” I realized that it was going to be hard talking to my sister about this. I wanted to tell her, but the lump in my throat that I was fighting was making it hard for me to find my voice. I didn’t want to break down at school and especially in front of my sister. I was on the edge of doing that though. Everything was moving around me faster than I wanted it to. I had too many people know what happened to me and too many people that didn’t. I blamed Laura for what happened to me as well. She was doing something with Rob and had her phone turned off to where I couldn’t call her and get her to come get me. None of this would have happened if she could have gotten to me.

 

“You can’t help me. You don’t want to know what I might say to you either so just go back inside and leave me alone.” I answered quietly, this was getting hard for me to do. Telling people that they don’t want to hear something is hard to do. Not filling people in on something big and bad that happened is stressful. My stomach was tight and I had to force myself to stop shaking. My sister was the worst person the keep things from. I never have kept that much from my sister and I know that if I kept this from her that it would hurt her and it would hurt me too.

 

“I might not be able to help you.” She responded looking at me in a way that reminded me of our mom. “But what you’re keeping from me is do so much to you right now and I don’t want it to so if you just tell me, please.”

 

“Fine.” I stammered giving up, but hesitated for a few seconds. “Something happened at the party I went to the other day.”

 

“What happened?” Laura asked blinking a few times, but then keeping calm to listen to me.

 

“Marcus got mad at me and left me alone at the party and some guy tried too…” I started, but couldn’t finish the thought.

 

“Tried to?” She asked then when I looked down at the table I heard her gasp. “Why didn’t you call me?”

 

“I did try.” I answered quickly. It was like a trigger for me. I felt myself getting angry at her. “I kept getting your damn voice mail and then he locked us into a bedroom and I couldn’t get out so I called Chandler and he broke my phone and I’m hurt that you um, broke your stupid ass promise to me.”

 

“I’m sorry Andrew,” Laura apologized standing up and walking around the table. “I’m so sorry.”

 

“I’m fine.” I stated quickly then pushed her away gently. “I just don’t want to talk about this so just stick up for me when mom loses it when she gets home from work, I’ll see you later.” I stood and walked over to the bus stop leaving her. She didn’t come to ask more questions, she just left entering the school. A few minutes later the noon buses ran and I got on it and then went home. Putting my stuff down at the doorway I walked into the kitchen the sun shining in lighting up the kitchen even though the lights were off. I wasn’t hungry but I looked in the refrigerator anyway. Looking outside and looking at the pool I walked up to my room and changed into my trunks then walked back down the stairs and out the back door to the pool sitting down my towel on a lounge chair I looked over my shoulder then to both sides. I was doing that from time to time and it embarrassed me after I do it. I was scared of being alone, even at my house in broad daylight. I sat down putting my legs into the pool kicking them gently looking out at the city we lived in. I thought about Jesse a lot. It was easy for him to get me alone in that room. I was stupid for going to that party and all I wanted was to be more alive and that’s where it got me. I couldn’t even make it a full day of school now. I was about to quit my favorite sport to play, because Marcus was on the team and I blamed him for what Jesse done to me.

 

“Andrew?” Mom asked from behind me causing me to jump and almost fall into the pool.

 

“Mom, what are you doing home?” I asked standing up and turning to her.

 

“I should be asking you the same thing, but I’m home because the school called and told me that you had went home sick, but wasn’t signed out by me.” Mom answered crossing her arms looking at me.

 

“I’m sorry.” I apologized walking over and grabbed the towel drying off my legs. “I’ll go to school tomorrow.”

 

“I’m not worried about you missing school today.” Mom responded as she stepped closer to me. “I’m more worried about why you left last night.”

 

“Oh, that.” I sighed and looked up to the house. “I don’t know how to explain that.”

 

“Well you better try.” She said expectantly. “You’ve been acting weird for so long and I don’t know why that is.”

 

“Mom.” I sighed rubbing my face with the towel.

 

“Andrew listen to me for a second.” Mom ordered gently then motioned for me to follow her up the sidewalk to the house. “Is this about your father not being here, I know it’s hard for you and Laura to deal with him not being here as much?”

 

“No mom I’m ok and I understand about dad.” I sighed not wanting to lie and say that was the problem. I know she’d make him come home and stay home. She had threatened before when I was younger and would cry for him. I couldn’t that though. My dad was working hard for us even if we didn’t get to see him. We did get all the nice things with him working that we appreciated.

 

“Ok, so is it girl problems?” Mom asked putting her arm around me unrepentantly after we reached the back door and she opened it. I had to fight back the urge to shrug her arm off. I didn’t fill my mom in on my preferences and I didn’t want to either.

 

“No mom.” I groaned shaking my head. “I don’t have girl problems.”

 

“Are you and Laura fighting?” She asked and I was getting tired of being asked questions. People have asked them all day and I didn’t want to answer anymore of them, but with my mom I knew that I had to.

 

“Me and Laura are fine.” I answered then I walked through the door thinking of a way to get through this with out having to tell her anything that I don’t want to tell her.

 

“Then just tell me what is going on with you before I have to take disciplinary measures with you.” Mom ordered sternly. “You know I’m not strict.”

 

“I’m ok mom.” I sighed looking up at her frowning. “But if you don’t believe me you can ground me.”

 

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you.” Mom responded shaking her head. “I’m not going to ground you, but if you leave this house tonight for any reason then I will.”

 

“Fine.” I groaned glaring at her.

 

“And you’re still going to tell me what is wrong, because I don’t believe you.” Mom stated sitting down beside me. “You’re my baby boy and nothing you can say will make me mad at you.”

 

“Well every mother says that, but hardly any of them mean it.” I whispered rolling my eyes. I’ve heard that line in a lot of movies and it’s usually followed by an outburst right after the kid spills their guts in confidence.

 

“Try me.” She said slightly hurt by what I said to her before. “I want to prove you wrong with this.” I wanted to test her and it become quiet with both of us looking at one another. I wanted her to drop it after awhile, but now with me not telling her that there really was nothing wrong I could see her softening. She knew something was wrong if not different with me. She may have not been around a lot either, but she knew how to read me. She may have no idea of what has been happening with me, but she didn’t have to know. I didn’t want to tell her either, but there was no way that I was going to get out of this room until I did. I just didn’t know how to start telling her all that I had to tell her.

 

“Mom there are a lot of things that you don’t know about me and I don’t want to tell you them.” I stated nervously. “I want you to let them slide for right now.”

 

“That’s out of the question.” She responded stubbornly, “I don’t want to wait when it’s causing you to skip out on school and run away and Laura said that you had practice today before she left so you’re obviously going to miss out on that too and you love basketball.”

 

“I’m quitting.” I whispered realizing that I needed to keep that too myself as well, but didn’t stop myself.

 

“And you think I’m going to let you keep things to yourself after hearing that?” Mom asked a little surprised. “You might as well just flat out tell me everything that has been going on while I was gone.”

 

“Ok, if you think you can handle it I’ll tell you.” I huffed crossing my arms. I wanted this to end and I was getting frustrated with everyone pushing me for information. “I’m gay to start with. I’ve been seeing this guy named Chandler who is sixteen. Laura hates him, but I hate Robbie so it fits. Well the other day I went to a party and Jase was attacked and that is why he was pissed at me for awhile. I had promised to protect him. Then a few nights ago I was at a party with Marcus who is a senior and he got pissed… mad at me and left then I was um I was almost you know what fuck it.” I stood looking at her, her face had fell when I started and when I got to the part about Marcus she looked like she was about to freak out. I couldn’t take it so I went to leave then she grabbed my arm stopping me.

 

“You were almost what?” She asked in a way that I couldn’t read.

 

“Forced to do something I didn’t want to do.” I answered my eyes tearing up then I felt drops running down my face. I didn’t want to cry and when she started crying and wrapping me into a hug we both lost it. She held on to me squeezing me tightly against her rubbing my back while she held my head against her shoulder with her other hand. She didn’t say anything and when she stopped crying and pulled us apart forcing me to look at her I thought I was in for it.

 

“I love you.” She said strongly in a way that I didn’t doubt her for a second. “Are you ok, you’re not hurt are you? Do I need to call someone like the police? Do you want me to call the police about what happened?”

 

“No mom.” I answered calmly trying to get her to stop freaking out.

 

“Don’t you ever keep things from me like that again.” She ordered breathlessly then hugged me again tighter this time. “I didn’t know how close I was to not being a good mother until now.”

 

“Mom you’re a good mother.” I offered as she started crying again.

 

“No I’m not. No good mother would be this distant and let bad things happen like this.” Mom countered in a shaky voice. “I’m so sorry.”

 

“Mom calm down you’re a great mom, don’t change. I chose to keep those things from you anyway, there would be no way you’d know.” I offered and she let go of me and wiped her eyes with a hand towel.

 

“You can take as long as you need off from school as long as you don’t quit basketball.” Mom said as she walked over to the refrigerator. “Do you want something for lunch?” That’s when I decided that I had the best mom in the world.