Something Unexpected - 18. Chapter 18

When Monday rolled around I was exhausted by the long weekend. Laura bitched at me until her face turned purple about running off with Chandler to some party that she had no knowledge of -- and on a school night. I wondered when she had become such a prude. There had been lot of nights she had come home tipsy from a night out and snuck in. She used to make me cover for her when mom would ask about her. Now, when it came to Chandler, I was getting this constant bitching and looking after from Laura. I know that he attempted to have sex with her -- I wouldn’t call it rape -- and he had cheated on me, too, so I knew Chandler wasn’t good with people; but he was my only route to freedom and sometimes you have to take what you can get to get what you want. Chandler was still what I wanted.

“If mom ever found out what you put me through this weekend you’d never see the light of day.” Laura snapped as I waited to walk out to catch the bus.

“Same goes for you too.” I countered rolling my eyes. “Don’t think I can’t tell her of all the times I had to help you to your room before she got home for work.”

“What has gotten into you?” Laura asked, as she had asked a million times already.

“Maybe I’m finally growing balls like you said I needed to.” I snapped losing patience.

“Yeah, but running off to some fag party where everyone will be staring at you -- my little brother…” She started, but trailed off.

“So that's what this is. You’re embarrassed to have a fag for a brother after all. I mean its okay to be gay as long as you don’t have to claim any.” I snapped. “I mean, if you’re going to accept something, you have to accept every angle.”

“No, Andy, no that’s not what I…” She started, but I had enough of her this weekend.

“No I pretty much know what you meant by that. Just save it!” I groaned, leaving her in the living room. It was time for me to catch the bus anyway, and I needed air. Laura was a hypocrite and I wanted to be pissed at her today. The bus came and I got on, paying for the ride for the day sitting in my usual seat. I waited, not wanting to think about what Laura had let slip this morning. When Jase sat down beside me I offered him a forced smile.

“Good lord, you look pissed.” Jase remarked, looking me over.

“Well good, because I am.” I responded.

Jase laughed slightly, “Why are you pissed?” he asked.

“Because Laura is acting all noble and girly I don’t know what her damn problem is; but this weekend she’s been hell to live with.” I answered a little louder than I intended. Some old lady from across from me huffed and I bit my tongue. I didn't want to ruin anyone else’s day.

“What did you do?” Jase asked.

I was shocked by the question, but didn’t let on. “I snuck out with Chandler. Well, not snuck out; I left a note for her.” I explained, and rolled my eyes.

“Like right after you left my house?” Jase asked curiously. He looked surprised and I was beginning to feel like I had done something wrong.

“Well, later that night.” I answered after a short pause.

“On a school night!” Jase smiled evilly. “Are you trying to outdo your sister?”

“No I’m just trying to have fun.” I answered. We stood as the bus slowed down to a stop. We stepped off and walked up the sidewalk and I grew paranoid. Some of those guys at the party last night would be here at school and a lot of them would know that I was there as well, even if I had only been there for a couple of minutes.

“Looking for someone?” Jase asked, noticing that I was looking through the crowd of people.

“No, I was just looking around.” I lied.

“What’s your hurry?” Jase asked.

I noticed that I had picked up my pace. “Well I was going to go talk to Tim and Mandy this morning in the gym.” I lied again. I just wanted to get inside a classroom where I would be hidden.

“Okay, um well I’ll go too. We have time for some socializing.” Jase stated. We entered the gym to find Chandler there waiting and I stopped suddenly. Jase wasn't paying attention and walked up and bumped me.

“Hey, um Andy.” Chandler greeted. Jase stood there looking at us.

“Hey.” I greeted him, unsure about having these two so close to one another.

“Jase right?” Chandler asked looking over at Jase.

“Yeah.” Jase answered with a hint of coldness in his voice.

“Well could you go over there for a second?” Chandler pointed to the bleachers and Jase followed his gaze.

“I think that’s a little too far away so I’ll stick around if that’s okay.” Jase answered sarcastically and stood his ground; but now he was looking over at me. I could feel the tension between the two of them and I wanted them both to just go away.

“Chandler can we talk later?” I asked, trying to put an end to this.

“No it’s important, but your little friend is making things hard.” Chandler answered.

“Jase, just go wait for me.” I ordered, exasperated by the stress this was causing.

“Uh, okay.” Jase responded in a low voice and walked off quickly out of the gym.

“Don’t be mean to my friends again Chandler that was a shitty thing to do.” I reprimanded.

“Sorry.” Chandler shrugged. “I wanted to ask you if you’re going to pick a new tutor today or not?”

“You couldn’t ask me that in front of Jase?” I asked growing impatient with Chandler.

“Well there are more questions that I didn’t want him being part of.” Chandler answered.

I rolled my eyes. “I haven’t asked for a new tutor and Laura is sort of making me pick her, so I am going to -- sometime today.” I answered his question.

“Well, okay.” Chandler shrugged, “What are you doing after classes?”

“I’m going home.” I answered crossing my arms. I saw Tim come into the gym and start to walk over to Chandler and me. Chandler glanced up and saw him approaching too.

“Fuck, all of your little friends are nosey.” Chandler groaned, staring Tim down.

“Well they care.” I countered.

“What’s up guys?” Tim asked joining us.

“Nothing.” Chandler answered, agitated.

“Andy, me and Evan want to talk to you at lunch, okay? So sit alone and when we get in there we’ll talk.” Tim ordered and I looked curiously at Tim, trying to figure out why he and Evan wanted to talk to me.

“Okay.” I shrugged then Tim left.

“It’s happened to you too.” Chandler announced knowingly.

“What?” I asked curiously.

“Your macho straight friends don’t want to be friends with you anymore.” Chandler answered.

“You don’t know that.” I countered, watching Tim greet Mandy.

“Yeah, well you’ll see. It happened to me.” Chandler stated.

I frowned. “I need to go get changed for class.” I announced then turned and left. Chandler walked out of the gym as I went to change. Tim was in there, but he wasn’t acknowledging me. I wanted to stop him from leaving but he walked past me after changing. A few guys in there were staring at me, though, and I started to feel paranoid again. I wondered why they were staring and hoped that it wasn’t because they were at that party last night.

“Hey Andy.” Mandy greeted me warmly after I joined Tim and her standing and stretching.

“Hey Mandy.” I greeted her back, smiling.

“How was your weekend?” Mandy asked curiously.

“It was a little rough.” I shrugged. “I’m actually glad to be at school, if that means anything.”

“It means that the weekend was hell.” Mandy stated, grimacing. “Look, though, at what Tim got me.” Mandy held out her hand to show me a diamond bracelet.

I took her hand and looked at it. “That’s hot.” I said stupidly, not knowing how to respond.

“I know isn’t he great?” She gaped.

I let her hand fall. “He’s definitely something else.” I offered, causing her laugh and hit me playfully. Tim was quiet and standoffish, though, while I was talking with Mandy. Soon after that, everyone's conversations stopped as Coach Smith started class. I saw one of the guys wink at me so I averted my attention. This unwanted attention distracted me during a game of volleyball and I missed an easy return and fell on my ass. But I was relieved to finally get away from the eyes and the coldness I had been feeling from Tim today. I was beginning to think that Chandler had been right. But Ann and Mandy wouldn’t stand for it I thought; and they had those boys wrapped around their little fingers. I didn’t want to be a problem or a strain, though. Jase and I would be okay without them, I thought. I hated how I was falling into a sullen attitude so quickly, but Tim and Laura’s actions left me no choice. When lunch finally did come around I sat down with Ann. I didn't want to sit alone until I had to. I was afraid that, if I did, someone who had seen me at that party would come sit next to me, and I didn’t want that.

“What has been with you today?” Ann asked curiously.

“What do you mean?” I asked, knowing that she had caught on to my bad attitude.

“Well you look scared, but also as if anyone caused you any trouble you’d bite their head off, too. So what’s wrong?” Ann asked again.

“I’m just tired and pissed off at Laura and shit.” I answered vaguely.

“It’s hard isn’t it?” She asked.

“You have no idea.” I sighed, shaking my head slightly.

“Hey, you have Jase at least he’s going through the same stuff you are, so it’s not like you’re the only person.” Ann pointed out and I nodded knowing this already.

“I know, but it still doesn’t make it any easier.” I offered. She nodded then rubbed my hand a few times. Then I saw Tim, Mandy, and Evan enter the lunchroom so I stood.

“Where are you going?” Ann asked curiously.

“Tim and Evan wanted to talk to me by themselves.” I answered. "I don't know anything else about it."

“What have them two idiots thought up now?” Ann rolled her eyes and started to eat. Mandy sat down beside her and I followed Tim and Evan off to a vacant table.

“What is all this about guys?” I asked, my nerves getting the best of me.

“Um, well you tell him, Tim.” Evan ordered, unsure of himself.

“We flipped a coin, Evan, and you lost.” Tim stated.

It hit me that Chandler was right. “I’m sorry bud, but we don’t want to hang out with you anymore.” Evan announced in a low voice.

“It isn’t like I have a huge ass sign on my back or anything.” I pointed out weakly.

“No, but rumors about you are all over this school.” Tim huffed looking around. “Something about you going to some fag party.”

“Oh, well, if that’s how you feel then fuck you.” I hissed growing angry. “You said you both were okay with it, so fuck you.”

“Hey, calm down, you’re getting loud.” Tim ordered, looking around again.

“I don’t care.” I lowered my voice anyway looking across at the two of them. Evan didn’t look like he was as serious about the whole thing as Tim was and I wondered if Tim had somehow convinced him of something.

“What’s up guys?” Jase asked sitting down beside me.

“Don’t sit so close to him.” Tim ordered Jase who had sat down beside me.

“Why? He doesn’t have the plague or anything?” Jase asked looking over at me.

“Everybody knows he’s gay. Do you want that reputation?” Tim asked and Jase looked over at Tim coldly.

“It beats being scared shitless for no damn reason.” Jase snapped, figuring out why we weren’t sitting with the girls.

“Hey, we’re not scared!” Evan piped up, but frowned after Jase and I looked at him. “Sorry.”

“Yes, you are scared. You know what that’s called? Homophobia.” Jase snapped, his face reddening. “So get over yourself and grow the fuck up, already.”

“Calm down Jase.” I whispered and he turned to look at me.

“Why?” Jase asked surprised.

“It’s their decision, not ours.” I answered. “I think you two should go explain to Ann and Mandy what you think so me and Jase can be left here at the faggot-outcast table.” Tim got up and left as soon as I said that, but Evan sat and looked between the two of us.

“Go away Evan.” Jase ordered.

“I’m sorry. Tim just thought that guys would give us a hard time on the football team if they see us hanging out with you.” Evan attempted to explain. I felt that Evan was not really explaining his reasons to us but was just trying to convince himself that this was what had to be done.

“And that’s supposed to justify not being our friends?” I asked, sitting back in my chair.

“To people like him, yeah.” Chandler answered for Evan and sat down beside me.

“I think we can handle things here by ourselves.” Jase snapped turning to glare at Chandler. This was all becoming too hard for me to handle. I guess Evan felt outnumbered and he left the table. I glanced over at the table full of my friends. Ann looked pissed and Mandy was trying to take off the bracelet that Tim had given her without breaking it while Tim talked quickly to Mandy, obviously trying to explain something.

“You know what? I think I am entitled to come over and help Andy just as much as you are.” Chandler snapped, making me turn my attention back to the table.

“Chandler, you cheated on him. I don’t think you’re entitled to anything.” Jase countered, shaking his head.

“It was an accident. People have accidents.” Chandler argued.

“Ha! Well some accident you had! What? Did you just happen to fall into the guy’s ass?” Jase asked, amused.

“Would you two just shut up!” I hissed slamming my hand down on the table. “Jase, Chandler give it a rest already.”

“Sorry.” Jase apologized immediately.

“I’m sorry too.” Chandler apologized, but was still glaring at Jase.

“Chandler, when your old friends stopped hanging out with you, what did you do?” I asked curiously.

“Well Amber was the only friend I still had after I came out. It was a shock to her though. I was trying to convince myself that I wasn’t gay by having sex with her. Then, in the middle of it, I told her that I couldn’t and that I was gay. My other friends were retarded jocks that didn’t want to have a sissy for a friend.” Chandler explained. “There isn’t anything you can do. It’s their decisions not yours.”

“They’ll come around.” Jase said optimistically. But I knew better. Tim wasn’t like that and he and Evan were joined at the hip.

“Don’t count on that happening.” Chandler countered rolling his eyes. “Newbies are so optimistic about these things.”

“No, it’s called comforting. But you only look out for yourself so you wouldn’t know.” Jase snapped. I glared over at him.

Chandler crossed his arms and countered, “Well what ever helps bring comfort to you, but it’s better to know what’s really there instead of what may happen and may not.” He was sounding right about this. He had been out for a while, so he knew how things worked. He was also still popular with a lot of people. I knew that some people, like Laura and her friends, hated him, but that hadn't stopped them from going to his party. Tim and Evan had been my best friends for a long while, though. I thought I could handle it, thinking that I wasn’t that close to them; but now, when they might be pushing me away, I realized that it was going to be hard without them and their input in my life choices. Ann and Mandy never did come to the rescue by welcoming us back to the table. I was waiting and growing impatient as time went by. But the lunch period came to an end and that rescue never came for Jase and me. Chandler had sat with Jase and me the entire time, but it had been stressful. I was torn between the one was trying to get my attention and the one who had it. I had been trying to listen as they both offered advice but I'd had to constantly stop them from arguing and had become more and more stressed. After lunch I had a class with Ann. I rushed out of the lunchroom. I wanted to know what all had gone down after Evan and Tim returned and told them about our conversation.

“They’re just being stupid guys.” Ann offered, turning around to talk to me since the teacher wasn’t there that day and the substitute didn’t care what we did.

“But they still don’t want to be my friends anymore or Jase’s either.” I countered frowning.

“Well Mandy and I will talk to them and I’m sure they’ll come around, you’ll see.” Ann said optimistically.

“I know how they are Ann, they’re stubborn.” I sighed. “They’re scared that they'll be hassled by the football team if they keep hanging out with me. I made the mistake of going with Chandler to a party.”

“You have the right to have fun.” Ann countered, crossing her arms.

“Yeah, and they have the right to not be my friend.” I argued.

Ann frowned, “Guys are so stupid.” She rolled her eyes, “I mean, well, guys like that.”

“What did they say anyway?” I asked curiously, wanting to know everything about what had happened at the other table.

“Well Tim and Evan tried to explain that they had moral issues. But I know that’s not true. Neither of them have religious or moral feelings against you; but they tried to make it seem like that.” Ann explained. “It was Evan who slipped and told the truth. That's when Mandy almost broke her bracelet trying to get it off.”

“Did you two break up with them?” I asked, frowning. I didn't want that to happen.

“We told them to grow up or that we would.” Ann smiled. “Hey, if they’re going to have problems accepting you and Jase then they have a problem accepting us too.”

“So you’re still my friend?” I asked, smiling hopeful.

“That was a stupid question.” Ann smiled back.

The bell surprised us both and we quickly gathered up our books. When I left the room I found Chandler waiting for me. He saw me and motioned for me to come over, so I did.

“I saw that you never changed tutors, so I guess I’m taking you home with me.” Chandler announced.

“Shit, I forgot to do that.” I frowned. “I don’t have time to switch it and make the bus.”

“If you don’t come I’ll tell.” Chandler said lightly.

“You wouldn’t.” I rolled my eyes. “Can you take me home if I miss the bus?”

“Come on Andy, be mature enough to have me as your tutor.” Chandler became serious.

“I like to think I am mature enough not to have you as my tutor.” I countered and started to walk in the direction of the office.

“Come on, please?” Chandler asked grabbing my hand.

“Why?” I asked. “We have no future together.” I didn’t know why I was being so cold when I wanted so badly to go with him. I thought that if I followed him around like a lost puppy that he’d never look at me. It was hard seeing him frown and become uncomfortable, though; and I didn’t know how much longer I could play this game with him.

“You don’t know that.” Chandler almost whispered. I knew that what I had said had hurt him and I felt bad that it had.

“Okay, but it will only mean Laura will be more pissed at me when I get home.” I left wondering what the hell he had planned.