Something Unexpected - 19. Chapter 19

As we were pulling into Chandler's driveway he glanced over at me. "You’re awfully quiet,” he commented...

“I’m sorry, I was just thinking.” I responded, turning to look at him.

“Hey, no matter what those retards do, you’ll still have plenty of friends, guys like you never go without friends.” Chandler offered, patting my thigh.

“What do you mean, guys like me?” I asked, wondering what was so special about me.

“You have a lot going for you. Also a lot of people noticed you during the short time you were at the party last night.” Chandler explained with a smile.

I frowned. “I was afraid of that. I don’t think I’m gonna go to any more of those parties.” I grabbed the hand that was still resting on my thigh and returned it to his side.

“I didn’t mean like they all wanted to jump your bones or anything. Think of it as a support system now.” Chandler reasoned, smiling.

"Yeah, at least they can’t judge me.” I smiled back. Then I opened the car door. I felt a little too close to Chandler in the car suddenly. He followed me to the house and reached around me to unlock the door. When I walked in it was all just the same. We went right up to his loft bedroom like we normally did on my tutoring days, but this time there wasn’t any sense of ease in the room like there had been before. I felt vulnerable and as if someone were watching me, even though it was just Chandler and me.

"Well, what homework do you have?” Chandler asked clearing a spot on the desk for us to work.

“I don’t have any.” I whispered. My phone started to ring and I grabbed it from my pocket. “Hello?”

“Get your ass home.” Laura ordered almost screaming in my ear. I grimaced and mouthed Laura’s name telling Chandler who it was. He rolled his eyes.

“Why Laura?” I asked in a low voice she was the last person I wanted to talk to.

“I know where you are.” She hissed, “Don’t think that I won’t come get you.”

“Laura, damn, stop! Just let me live my own way.” I groaned and shook my head.

“Obviously, I can’t let you do that until you get whatever is in your head about Chandler being good for you changes.” Laura countered.

“You know what Laura, Chandler is one of the few friends I have right now. I seem to be losing all the others. I would like to keep my sister but, if you can’t accept who I am, then I’ll accept not having you, too.” I was almost whispering and tears were starting to well up in my eyes. This was too much for me right now and I didn’t want to blame myself. None of this would have happened if I had just conformed to people's expectations and hidden my true self away. If I had done that, I would still have all my friends and Laura and I would still be on good terms. I didn’t want to hide away when it came to my closest friends, though. I wanted them to know me! Just as much as they didn’t want to know me anymore! “I’ll see you later and I want you to really think about how you’re making me feel.”

“Are you ok?” Chandler asked carefully holding out his arms but not wanting to push me to hug him. He knew that I wasn’t really that close to him either.

“Yes.” I sighed stepping into his arms. I needed a hug.

“I’ll make it all alright for you.” Chandler whispered. I wondered what he meant, but I didn’t want to question it. His arms felt comforting and familiar. Even though I hadn’t been with him for very long, it was still where I felt the most comfortable. “What do you want to talk about?”

“You pick.” I answered pulling away from him and sitting on his bed.

“Okay, how’s basketball going?” Chandler asked curiously.

“It’s going fine I guess. We have our first major practice tomorrow I’ll probably not survive it. Marcus plays basketball you know.” I answered studying Chandler.

“Yeah, I know he does.” Chandler huffed, frowning. “I wish I hadn't gotten so stupid that night.”

“You can’t change it so we’ll have to live with it.” I muttered offering a weak smile.

“We?” He asked, smiling wide.

“Yeah.” I answered nodding slowly. He then leaned over and kissed me quickly on the lips. It caught me off guard so I didn’t have time to return it.

“Sorry, I’ve been wanting to do that forever.” Chandler apologized quickly.

“No.” I countered. “I’ve wanted it too.”

Chandler leaned in for a slower kiss, which I returned. Then my mind got the better of me. I wanted to go only so far with Chandler. But I knew that I wanted sex to be something with someone I love and am involved with. Chandler wasn’t that person right now and, as much as I wanted to make him that person, I didn’t trust what would happen afterwards. “Chandler, stop.” Chandler had started unbuckling my belt kissing and sucking on my neck.

“Why?” He moaned impatiently but not stopping.

“Because we’re not ready for this.” I stammered taking his hands in mine as he started to unbutton my pants.

“I’ll be gentle.” Chandler whispered.

“That’s not it. I don’t think its right to go any further.” I countered more sternly than before.

“Why not?” He asked giving up.

“Because I don’t trust you, Chandler.” I answered carefully.

“Oh.” He sighed frowning. “That’s reasonable.”

“Yeah, it’ll take time and I think I better get going.” I started to buckle my belt back and he stood.

“Okay.” He offered. He grabbed his keys and waited on me to follow him down. Like before, the ride in the car was quiet. I felt as if I had led him on by kissing him; but it was something I needed from him and it was something he wanted from me. He understood that I couldn’t trust him and I wanted to know if he would be willing to try to get me to trust him. That's the way my brain was thinking, but at the same time all I wanted to do is let Chandler do what he wanted to me in his room. I wanted that more than anything.

"Well, look who’s out waiting for you.” Chandler announced as we drove up my driveway. Laura was sitting outside in a lounge chair, waiting with her arms crossed.

"Well, I’ll see you at school Chandler.” I said quickly, noticing that his face was inching closer to mine. I didn’t want Laura to see him kiss me.

“Oh, right.” Chandler winked and then glanced at Laura. I got out of the car and waved as Chandler sped out of the driveway. Laura stood up and waited for me to get up to her. I expected her to point or slap me, anything really. When I finally was standing in front of her I was bracing for the worst.

“I’m glad your home.” She whispered. Then she jumped on me, hugging me more tightly and affectionately than I’ve ever experienced with her.

“What was that for?” I asked after she let go of me.

“I’m sorry I was being so bitchy towards you.” Laura apologized. “I know what you’re going through is hard and I didn’t make it any easier on you.”

“Damn right you didn’t.” I countered smiling.

“I’m trying to apologize here.” Laura huffed, rolling her eyes.

“Okay, please continue. You have a lot of ass to kiss.” I joked.

“I’m okay, with you being gay, Andy, as long as you stay my baby brother and promise to be careful with the way you conduct yourself. There are a lot of people out there that would want to take advantage of you and a lot of people that won’t agree with your lifestyle.” Laura started to explain.

“I know, Laura.” I said, smiling.

"Well, I’m going to college next year, all the way across state and I won’t be here to help you make the best decisions; but I want you to know that you can call me and even come live with me in my apartment if things get to be too much for you.” Laura continued what she had to say to me.

“Where were you finally accepted to?” I asked curiously.

“New York University.” Laura answered proudly.

“I’ll pass. The east coast sucks ass.” I rolled my eyes. “Hope you like smog and shadows. And of course mom would hold your hand the whole time she visits.”

“Shut up I’m still going.” Laura snapped slapping me on the arm. “Now tell me what you meant by not having many friends.”

“Can we go inside first?” I asked It was already dark out.

“Yeah…” Laura answered stupidly, She looked around seeming to not know that it was as late as it was. When we sat down in the living room she waited for me to start explaining again. "Well, aren't you going to spit it out?”

“Oh, uh sure.” I rolled my eyes, feeling stupid. “Tim and Evan heard that rumor that was going around about me and decided not to be my friends anymore.”

“Those retards.” Laura snapped, frowning. “Just wait and see what they get.”

“No, I’m okay with it. I mean it’s their choice.” I countered weakly.

“I know, but that doesn’t make it a good choice.” Laura reasoned.

“Still, they have the right. I mean, they’re scared the football team will fuck around with them if they hang out with me.” I explained, looking down at the floor. “Chandler told me it was gonna happen too.”

“Yeah, I guess all you have to do is hope that Ann and Mandy don’t turn away from you, but you know you still have Jase.” Laura responded, standing.

I noticed that my stomach was growling "Well, have you had dinner?” I asked.

“Yeah, I left you some in the microwave. It should still be warm.” Laura answered. Then she left me to myself.

After eating I took a quick shower. As I got ready for bed I didn't feel good about tomorrow; but I was too tired to fight against my urge to sleep. I didn't know what else would come of my first gay party, but I had a feeling that a rumor wasn’t going to be the end of it.

In the morning the feeling was still with me. I had to face the many fears I'd had the day before and I had to face Tim and Marcus later that day. A lot was riding on my shoulders and I wished there were some way I could make everything stop, at least for a day, so that I could rest.

Laura knocked on my door. “Are you up?” she asked groggily.

“Yeah.” I stammered, sighing and throwing off the covers off.

“I’m driving you to school today. I thought you might need an extra thirty minutes of sleep.” Laura called through the door.

“That’s nice of you.” I responded as I closed the bathroom door and started my shower. I met Laura in the living room ready to leave.

“If anyone gives you a rough time today you come to me or call me and I’ll put a stop to it.” Laura ordered, fixing a stray hair on my head like a mother would do.

“Okay, I promise. I need to focus on basketball practice today anyway.” I responded, feeling embarrassed that I was willing to let my big sister fight all my battles for me.

"Well, are you going to need me to come back and pick you up at the gym or do you have another ride?” Laura asked as we got in her car.

“I don’t know, I’ll call you if I need you. The school isn’t that far away.” I answered. I didn't know if Chandler had something planned with me or anything but I didn’t want to upset Laura with changing plans like I had before -- On the other hand, I could tell she had to try hard to let me have the option of choosing alternative travel plans: she knew that Chandler was my only other option.

“Okay, I may sit in and watch you practice, anyway. I have nothing better to do since Rob has hockey.” Laura responded as we started towards school.

"Well, I don’t think I want you watching me get my ass chewed out by the coach and I don’t want people thinking you’re my new bodyguard; so can’t you watch Rob play?” I asked blushing.

“Are you embarrassed of me, your sister?” Laura asked feigning shock.

“No. Well, yes, I am.” I stammered quickly.

“Okay, I’ll just drive my ass home and read or something.” Laura rolled her eyes.

“Thank you.” I responded, trying to will away the redness in my cheeks. We finally got to school with limited time to spare. I rushed into the building but hesitated when I got to the gym entrance. I stood looking through the small window in the door to see if Tim was there, but I couldn’t see who the people were.

“Looking for someone in particular?” Mandy asked, walking up behind me without Tim.

“Yes, and I bet you can guess who.” I sighed, looking down.

"Well, he’s at his locker, if you want to hurry and change so you won’t have to deal with him this morning.” Mandy warned rubbing my shoulder.

“Thanks.” I smiled and entered the gym. She followed me in and then we parted ways to go into our changing rooms.

“You’re Andrew Keller, right?” A brown haired boy asked as I started changing.

“Yeah, why?” I asked looking around and seeing that he and I were the only two left changing.

“I’m Luke. Is it true?” He almost whispered.

"Well, I don’t know what it is, so I couldn’t tell you.” I responded lightly and continued changing.

“Is it true that you’re gay?” Luke asked more confidently this time.

"Well, I don’t think that’s any of your business.” I snapped sternly.

“Whoa, wait! It’s not like that. I was just wondering if you’d like doing something this weekend.” Luke countered holding up his arms.

“No, I don’t think that’s possible.” I answered still paranoid. I was becoming well known and I wasn’t liking it.

“So you’re with that Chandler guy still right?” Luke asked frowning. “That's a shame. I know about him and he’s not worth your time.”

"Well, you don’t know me so how do you know what I need to be wasting time on?” I asked growing annoyed.

“You just don’t look like the type who likes being a toy.” Luke stated, stepping toward me handing me a note. “Here.”

“What is it?” I asked taking it.

"Well, it has my number in it and a little bit about me.” Luke answered winking.

I didn’t want to tear the letter up right in front of him so I smiled and slid it into my pants pocket that was in my locker.

“Give me a call sometime.” He said, and walked away.

I rolled my eyes and closed my locker, planning to shred the letter as soon as I was out of gym class and paranoid that Luke would look through the trashcans to find it. When I walked out to join Mandy, Tim was standing next to her.

"Hey, Mandy.” I greeted not even acknowledging Tim being there.

"Hey, honey.” She greeted just as cheerfully as I had.

“Great now you’re his fag hag.” Tim snapped, rolling his eyes.

"Well, at least I can put differences aside and still be friends with someone.” Mandy countered. “I don’t have any problems with you, Andy, I was just making a point.”

“Okay.” I smiled. I liked the fact that she was taking up for me.

“Go away Andy we had an understanding.” Tim ordered, crossing his arms.

“I’ve had it, had it with you Tim.” Mandy spat, throwing her arms up in the air. That’s when she noticed Tim’s bracelet that she had put back on after getting home. “I can’t believe a person can change as much as you have, and for the worse at that.”

“What are you doing Mandy?” Tim asked noticing that she was fumbling with her bracelet again.

“We are through! I hope you’re happy you asshole.” Mandy snapped. “Here Andy get this piece of shit off me.”

“Don’t get hasty, Mandy.” I ordered carefully. But I took her bracelet off and handed it to her.

“We warned them yesterday. If they still want to carry on with this bullshit, then I don’t want to carry on with him.” Mandy countered, showing the bitchier side of herself. It was a side of here you rarely saw, but I knew it was there.

“Mandy come on, everyone is going to make fun of us for being friends with some pretty boy fag.” Tim muttered dejectedly.

“You know what? This is retarded. You’re talking as if you’re from the thirties.” Mandy countered. “Here take it, or it goes in the trash.”

“Mandy, damn!” Tim yelled causing everyone in the gym to turn and look at us.

“Mr. Sanders, do we have a problem?” Coach Smith asked stomping her way over to where we were.

“No Coach, no she stepped on my toe that’s all.” Tim lied frowning.

"Well, you and your sore toe can run me ten laps for your little outburst now get running.” Coach Smith ordered and Tim jogged off to run his laps while everyone else started the daily activity. We had gym class with some of the football players and we were playing volleyball. I noticed them whispering as Mandy and I took positions opposite them on the court on the other side of the net. Then they started slamming balls down at my head. When I heard the whistle blow on the sidelines it stopped me from crossing the net and kicking their asses.

“Keep it friendly you two.” Coach Smith ordered then blew her whistle again, but they still kept slamming balls down and still only at me. “I said keep it friendly!”

“Come on, Coach Smith, its just volleyball.” One of them shrugged going back to serve the ball. Everyone else on my team, except for Mandy, was getting pissed at my poor attempts to return their shots. They started whispering behind me. Then a ball I had misjudged came crashing down on my head knocking me to the floor.

“Shit.” I groaned as Mandy bent down to look me over.

“Donaldson and Hendley I warned you, so now you both owe me ten laps each for disobeying me.” Coach Smith reprimanded. “Now get going.”

“It isn’t our fault the fag can’t take our heat.” One of them countered crossing his arms. The comment made everyone else gasp out loud as stood.

“Now you listen here, you piece of shit! Just shut the hell up and run along. I believe you have some running to be doing.” Mandy spat standing beside me.

“Awe it’s cute how she’s always protecting you.” The other one piped up.

“I don’t need her to protect me, you’re going to need the protecting if you don’t shut the fuck up.” I growled then Coach Smith stepped in between us.

“That’s four detentions after school with me, kids. Want to make it a three day thing, keep talking.” Coach Smith warned.

“I can’t have after school detention I have basketball practice.” I countered carefully.

“Then you can make yours up with me on a day that best suits your schedule.” Coach Smith stated, looking at me. “Go put some ice on that head before you bruise.”

“Why does the fag get special treatments?” One of the boys asked after I had turned my back.

“Donaldson stop with the name calling or you’ll be spending every day after school with me; and detention with me isn’t any picnic.” Coach Smith warned again. I ignored them all and walked off to go change in the locker room. As the door closed slowly behind me, I wanted to just break down and start crying right there.. If someone had been clueless as to the rumor about me before, after all that happened they weren't. The rest of the day was no better, but the school was large enough that I didn't run into Donaldson or Hendley. But I knew I’d see them again before this was through. I had gotten them into trouble by being who I am and, as stupid as they were, They'd make me pay for that somehow. I had completely closed myself in by lunchtime. I didn’t bother sitting with my friends. Tim and Evan were still sitting there. Jase tried getting me to talk to him about it, but I was afraid I would tear up and lose it in front of everyone and I couldn't. The last thing I wanted was to be remembered as the fag that cried because he got picked on in gym class.

“Hey, come on. I heard. It’s okay.” Jase offered.

“No it’s not okay.” I broke my silence looking over at him.

“They were assholes. And Tim was the biggest one.” I snapped causing Jase to blink and look down.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized.

“No. I’m sorry for snapping at you.” I countered causing him to look back up at me.

“I heard the old bitch gave you detention.” Chandler announced sitting down beside me.

“Yeah, I have after school detention Wednesday.” I responded, shaking my head.

"Well, I looked and saw that your little friend Mandy got suspended along with Corey Donaldson and Jeffrey Hendley.” Chandler said stifling a laugh. “I heard that your friend Mandy put Corey and Jeffrey through the ringer -- even slapping them before she left -- so she got the worst suspension of the three.”

“How long?” I asked, frowning because I had dragged Mandy down with me.

“The rest of the week starting tomorrow.” Chandler answered. Jase gasped.

“When those fuckers were the cause of it all, that’s not right.” Jase shook his head.

“They only got three days and a detention.” Chandler responded. The lunch bell rang soon after that. The part of the day I was dreading was after school practice. After my last experience in a gym, I didn’t want to even go in; but when I did I saw Marcus smiling over at me and then he jogged up to me.

"Hey, dude, how’s it going?” He greeted smiling and held out his hand for me to shake.

“Not good and I’m sure you've heard by now.” I answered shaking his hand.

“Yeah, the whole volleyball incident. I heard.” He responded patting me on the back. "Well, we better get our laps in before we get out asses chewed.” We started jogging side by side, then Ann ran up beside me.

"Hey, you were pretty much dead in class so, hopefully, you can survive practice today.” Ann announced as we jogged along.

“Yeah, I’m sorry I’ve had a bad day.” I apologized through deep breaths.

“I heard. And I want you to know that after today Evan and I are no longer together.” Ann huffed and I glanced at her.

“I’m sorry.” I apologized again.

“Don’t be.” Ann countered. “I thought it was just Tim, but it was Evan too.”

“Oh, damn. Well, maybe it’ll all cool down after they start missing you two.” I said, still optimistic.

“Less talking more jogging.” Coach Swan announced as we passed the spot where they recorded our lap times each practice.

“There’s a party Saturday night you should come. Chandler isn’t going to be there, though; he’s grounded.” Marcus announced.

“How was he grounded?” I asked curiously. He had said nothing about it at lunch.

"Well, he was finally caught skipping classes and of course his mom and dad found out today.” Marcus answered.

“I don’t know about another party.” I huffed.

“Go on and go, Andy. And have fun.” Ann urged me on.

“I don’t think I could go to another one.” I argued.

“Shut up. Go or I’ll kick your ass.” Ann ordered.

“Okay, fine. Shit, you’re getting to be as bad as Laura!” I snapped lightly. Then the rest of practice was grueling, to say the least; but it wasn’t really bad. No one made any attempt to talk to me or give me a hard time, even though the rumors and gossip were well fueled and a lot of them were about me -- mostly because everyone knows that I’m Laura’s little brother and a basketball player that happened to be gay. After practice, when I had changed and I was about to start making arrangements to go home, Coach Anderson called me aside.

“I’ve heard the rumors, son.” he said.
“Yeah, I figured.” I felt awkward to be talking about this with an adult.

“I have nothing against your lifestyle, but I don’t want it to become an issue for the team.” He continued.

“So are you cutting me?” I asked. I was scared that I was about to be cut from the team. basketball was my life.

“No, no you’re a starter this season I wouldn’t cut you at all.” Coach Anderson answered quickly. “I’m just saying that I want our winning season posted in the Sunday news; not us having a gay guy playing on the team.”

“I understand.” I sighed, “But I can still have fun right?”

“Of course, just don’t make it an issue.” Coach Anderson smiled. “So you’re free to go.”

“Okay, thanks.” I responded and left the gym. Outside, Marcus was waiting for me.

“So coach gave you the whole, I don’t want to read about a gay guy playing on the team speech huh?” Marcus asked amused.

“Yeah.” I answered, smiling.

“Do you need a ride home?” Marcus asked and I nodded. “Then lets get the hell out of here.” Then we were off. I had so much to tell Laura -- if she hadn’t found out already.

“So, are you coming to the party?" Marcus asked as we drove towards my house, "If so you can ride with me?”

“Yeah, I’m coming. And, yeah, I’d like to ride over with you.” I answered, knowing Chandler was grounded and Marcus would be my only other way of getting there.

“Great.” Marcus responded. We rode in silence. Marcus had a subtle charm that I was beginning to see, but I still remembered that he was the one that I was supposed to hate with all my heart. But at the moment, I just couldn’t, not when he smiled over at me, unable to stop.

"Well, see you around man.” I said as we pulled into the driveway.

“Yeah, bye.” Marcus waved. I was relieved to finally reach the safety and comfortableness of my own home.