Something Unexpected - 7. Chapter 7

“You know who that was that did this to you don’t you.” Mom asked me one morning after I had waked up early. I knew who it was and why he done it. His name was Lucas. He went to Middleton with me and was on the swim team. I knew him really well. He was the object of my thoughts most of the time until I had met Andy.

“No mom I didn’t know who he was.” I lied, she knew I was I was a sorry liar and I can’t hide anything from anyone. Which is why I was beat in the first place.

“When you want to tell me the truth I’ll be ready for it.” Mom countered weakly shaking her head disappointed that I felt I had to lie to her.

“Ok fine it was Lucas from Middleton. The one that told everyone that I was gay and tried to kiss him.” I stated frustrated that I was such a terrible liar.

“Oh, ok so now I know who to call at least.” Mom replied getting angry.

“Don’t start anything I’ll be ok. I won’t be seeing him anymore.” I offered watching as she wrote his name down on a piece of paper anyway.

“His last name is Wilson right?” Mom asked not listening to my pleas.

“Yes.” I whispered as she stuffed the paper into her purse and turned her attention back to me.

“Have you done your assignments that Andy got for you?” Mom asked evenly the anger gone from her voice.

“Half of them.” I answered, “I don’t want Andy doing anything else for me he’s done enough.” I continued like I had whenever she brought his name up. It was Wednesday and she has attempted to talk about him every day since Sunday.

“You’re going to have to stop that or you’re going to end up friendless and hurting someone too.” Mom ordered weakly.

“Yeah well he made a promise to me and no one seems to understand that part of it. I was the victim that he lied to and as a result I went to that retarded party and I got my ass kicked for it.” I growled standing up from the chair I was sitting in.

“You listen here you don’t speak to me like that.” Mom reprimanded pointing at the chair. “Now sit.” She continued and I obeyed after I groaned.

“Sorry.” I offered still annoyed.

“Now, he isn’t the person to blame for what happened to you Jason. That’s like blaming a baby for crying. He had no way of knowing that Lucas was someone you needed protected from. He thought you’d be safe enough to go use the bathroom with out him there. He didn’t plan or even want for it to happen, but still you can’t forgive him for it.” Mom objected. I hated when she called me by Jason. She knew I hated it too she always done it when we were having in depth conversations.

“Yeah well I still am not going to talk to him ever again.” I countered looking away from my mom.

“There’s another reason why you’re so hurt isn’t it? I mean if it was someone else who had promised you would forgive them as soon as it happened.” Mom probed causing me to turn to her and study her reactions.

“That’s dumb mom.” I groaned shaking my head.

“It’s the truth though isn’t it?” Mom asked crossing her arms and looking at me weirdly. Almost amused knowing that she was right. There was something more. More than she knew even though right now I think she’s hinting something I have tried to hide.

“He was my friend.” I whispered finally.

“He still is your friend if you’d only let him.” Mom countered soothingly.

“I can’t do that.” I offered my voice rising.

“Why can’t you? All you have to do is realize that he had no part in it and stop accusing him.” Mom argued.

“I can’t be his friend not after what Lucas did. I don’t want things to happen again like they did in Middleton.” I countered grimacing.

“Lucas wasn’t your friend or he wouldn’t have spread around sick lies.” Mom spat her anger returning. It was partially a lie. I didn’t try and kiss Lucas. I did tell Lucas that I thought I was gay and he acted all right about it until the rumors started. He started them.

“I don’t need friends mom.” I offered and she nodded and sighed.

“You’ll find out that you do need friends. I just hope when you do the friends that you turned your back on still feel the same way.” Mom countered standing and leaving me with my thoughts.

She knew how to make me feel like shit. She couldn’t be the mom that just held me and agreed with me as stupid as my accusations and feelings were. No she had to make me feel stupid. It didn’t change what I felt about that party and Andy. I have every intention on not ever speaking to him again. Not because he broke a promise. There is more to it than that. I was afraid of Andy. If Andy weren’t my friend then I wouldn’t be caught staring at his naked body in locker room showers. Or confess my hormone changes to him like I had with Lucas. I was saving myself from humiliation and more beatings. I just wanted to get through high school and move on to bigger and better open-minded things and surround myself with people who I didn’t have to worry about their loyalties.

“Jason Singer that was the meanest lowest thing you’ve ever done.” Mom reprimanded only making me feel worse.

“Mom I told you that I didn’t want to talk to him anymore and you let him call me.” I groaned standing up and walking to my room shutting the door behind me. I then walked over to my bed and laid down shutting my eyes. It was all I knew to do to keep myself from crying.

The rage that Andy made me build up worried me. I knew he was doing all he knew how to do to make it up to me. I didn’t want him to try anymore. Trying meant that he cared and he couldn’t care for me. I wasn’t ready to allow that to happen right now. Not ever again. I’ll always cherish the night I spent in his house. He made me forget all the pain and apprehension the past year brought me. When I saw him on that bus my feet took control of me and I found myself standing at his seat. I didn’t know who he was, but he didn’t shun me away. He let me sit with him; he didn’t start ignoring me either and look out the window waiting for the ride to be over. He talked to me and made an effort that I myself didn’t want to make until I sat down beside him. He introduced me to his friends and he gave me is undivided attention every moment we had together that first day of school. I didn’t miss the bus by accident like I told him I had. I was too scared to face him on the bus ride again.

When he invited me to his house I wanted to turn him down, but his smile made me relax enough to accept his invitation. It opened up a great hidden feeling that I had with Lucas before I trusted him with information that he couldn’t handle. Andy was hyper and innocent and I loved being around him. He was an all around nice guy and made me feel at home when I went to visit. If my mom would have asked about him before the party I would have told her that he was my best friend. I wouldn’t tell her that I thought he had the hottest body out of anyone I saw. Or how his smile and goofy carelessness made me go insane with mixed feelings of happiness. He made you feel welcome when you were standing next to him. I could tell he was putting on a show trying to get me to enjoy his company. There was no need for him to do that. I would have spent every night I could with him for as long as I could and I barely even knew him then.

Lucas changed all that when he grabbed me and took me into the back bedroom when he came out of the bathroom that I was waiting patiently for. His presence shocked me, as I didn’t think he’d be at a Redmont high school party. He had ruined my reputation and he was threatening to do it again in that back bedroom.

“What are you doing here faggot?” Lucas asked pushing me against the closed door with a loud thump.

“The same reason you are. I’m here to party.” I answered the strength in my voice surprising me. It surprised Lucas too. I guess he thought that I’d cower away from his larger more intimidating size and the harshness in his voice.

“You don’t belong here.” Lucas countered pressing me harder against the door. His hands hurting my shoulders, but I didn’t dare fight back or tell him to get off me.

“You don’t you don’t even go to Redmont.” I stammered the strength in my voice failing me. “This is a large enough cabin why don’t you just distance yourself from me.” I continued, but Lucas gave me his answer in the form of a knee to the stomach. It caused me to fall to my knees gasping for the air that was knocked out of my lungs. He then pulled me up and punched me in the stomach causing me to fall back down.

“You’re not even going to fight back pansy.” Lucas growled pulling me over to the bed. He had attempted to take off my pants to do who knows what but I turned on my side squirming underneath him. Which caused the onslaught of punches to hit the side of my face. Then he was able to force me back on my back. This time he ignored my pants and started punching my face and chest. It seemed like forever and I didn’t attempt to fight him off me. I thought one of those punches would knock me out so I could at least not feel any of them, but that never came. It seemed like forever before I heard Ann screaming at Lucas. Then I felt the bed shake and a great weight being lifted from me. The punches had stopped and now the pain was intensified, as I was able to feel everything that hurt. I then heard Andy threaten Lucas causing him to leave the room. I then felt and saw him through my blurred vision looking over me. I saw how his face looked shocked and angry at the same time. His face was flushed and I could feel the unsteadiness in his hands as he tried to pull me up.

Lucas changed what I felt for Andy. Lucas made me feel dirty and low. Andy deserves friends that weren’t like me. I had to push him out of my life for his own good and for mine. I could take Lucas hating me, because I had a year to get over Lucas and what he done to change my life, but not Andy. Andy would change into Lucas, a stronger more violent form of Lucas if I told him my secret. Avoiding him will stop what I felt for Andy. Time makes people forget why we love something or someone. I just needed time and pushing him away will grant me that time that I was desperate to have.

“Why the fuck did Lucas have to change everything?” I whispered to myself still lying in my bed.

“He hasn’t changed anything you have.” The voice startled me. I jumped my eyes shooting open and looking over at the door. I knew whom she was when she spoke, but her being at my house tonight freaked me out.

“What are you doing here?” I asked still shocked at the appearance of Laura.

“To talk to you.” Laura said as she invited herself into my room. I hadn’t heard her open the door. She was good damn good. She didn’t wait for me to invite her to sit down on my bed. Instead she just walked up and plopped herself down beside me. Lying on my pillow looking at me.

“Make yourself comfortable we may be here for awhile.” Laura announced as she patted the bed beside her and I lied back down.

“So who’s Lucas and what did he change?” Laura asked as soon as my head hit the pillow.

“Lucas is just some dude I used to know.” I stated vaguely.

“The guy that left you with bruises and a busted up face too.” Laura countered turning to look at me. Her head held up with her hand. She put her other hand on my chest and started rubbing it soothingly. “Come on Jase I’m smarter than that.” Laura continued.

“Lucas was someone who started rumors about me in middle school and I ran into him at the party and he beat me up.” I offered giving in. I didn’t want to talk to Laura, but something told me she wouldn’t leave until I did. “Lucas was more than just some guy that started rumors he was a friend that started rumors.” I continued after she made no comments.

“And you think Andy would start rumors?” Laura asked getting a little annoyed. “Because he’s not like that you can trust him.” Laura continued defending Andy, which made me feel bad.

“No it’s not that at all. I know Andy won’t spread shit around about me. It’s what he might find out that has me scared.” I wanted to stop or hide after I answered her.

“What will he find out? That you’re an escaped juvenile delinquent?” Laura asked, the second question made me roll my eyes.

“It’s nothing.” I offered glancing away from her gaze before turning to look at her again.

“Seriously Andy won’t turn his back on you for something stupid like a rumor that’s going around or what may or may not be the truth.” Laura countered as she stopped rubbing my chest.

“How do you know, you don’t even know what it is about.” I stated hoping she not push me, but this is Laura and I knew that she would. Maybe I wanted to talk to someone about this, but I never thought it would be Andy’s overbearing older sister with the dirty mouth.

“Well what is it and I can tell you if he will or not?” Laura asked and I nodded, as I knew the question was coming.

“It’s nothing just a rumor and stuff. I don’t want to tell you. I don’t want to be Andy’s friend anymore and that’s that. So if he sent you to talk to me tell him that it’s done between me and him.” I countered getting defensive.

“Andy didn’t send me. I’m getting tired of watching him be depressed walking around the house with out a smile on his face. I’m sure your mom is tired of seeing you do the same thing.” Laura interjected sternly. “Now if you don’t mind I would like for you to open up. I am the most open-minded person you’ll know around here I’ve heard it all before nothing you can say will surprise me. I mean unless you have three testicles.” Laura continued causing me to giggle slightly before I turned to study her.

“You’re not just saying that to get me to talk are you?” I asked apprehensively. It caused her to frown and look at me like I had hurt her.

“I don’t deceive people to get what I want.” Laura stated weakly.

“Laura I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you.” I apologized, but she nodded and smiled.

“So just tell me what it is then. I can only help you based on what I know and right now I think you’re just being stupid and inconsiderate.” Laura countered nudging me with her elbow. Which caused me to wince a little still sore.

“Sorry.” Laura apologized then giggled.

“Lucas told only a half lie when he spread those rumors about me. I didn’t try to kiss him, but I did tell him that I thought I was gay.” I whispered not believing that I let those words slip through my mouth.

“Oh, that’s nothing Jase. I can’t believe you beat yourself up about that.” Laura replied and I sighed heavily.

“There’s so much more to it than that.” I announced whispering again.

“Well spill I have all the time in the world.” Laura countered as she started rubbing my chest again. I don’t know why she insisted on rubbing my chest. Maybe it was her way of soothing me. It was working and I was at ease around her for the first time after knowing her.

“I like your brother more than a friend and I don’t think I could ever handle it if he didn’t feel the same about me. Or if he turned into Lucas if he ever found out about my secret so don’t tell him. It’s better that me and Andy not be friends you have to see that.” I started but she stopped and put her hand over my mouth.

“Andy won’t turn into Lucas not a chance, but as for feeling the same way I don’t know about that. You’re gay Jase that’s not going to strain your friendship with my brother. If you tell him it’ll only make your friendship stronger and you never know what outcome will come from that. The truth though is the best way to go about things. Not pushing people away and causing more stress and hurt feelings than a person can handle.” Laura countered and it caused my eyes to fill up with tears. She removed her hand and put it back on my chest after I attempted to say something.

“I wish I had a sister like you.” I announced causing her to grin.

“At a price I’m sure Andy would sell me.” Laura joked causing me to laugh. “As far as I’m concerned though. You’re my other little brother.” Laura continued getting serious. “Which gives me the right to kick your little ass if you don’t make things right soon.” Laura stated patting me a little roughly on the chest before kissing me on the cheek.

“Ok.” I whispered smiling for the first real time this week.

“So why don’t you come up tomorrow night and get back on good terms. If you ever know of Lucas anymore you just point him out to me I’ll take care of his ass.” Laura stated an evil smile forming across her face. She could be scary if she put her mind to it.

“I don’t know about tomorrow.” I started, but the look on her face told me that I didn’t have a choice.

“Well I’ll just swing by and kidnap you tomorrow night.” Laura announced as her cell started ringing. She answered it and then when she hung up she smiled at me.

“I have to go pick Andy up from his little get together. You lucky shit.” Laura announced turning to leave. I was hurt when I wasn’t invited, but I understood why. I had been unwelcoming to Andy and Ann when they called my house to talk. I also hadn’t been in school. Part of me did look forward to seeing Andy tomorrow night. The other part was scared shitless at what I might say or do. I was ready though to look at his smile again. Laugh at his goofy mannerisms and gawk at his stunning body. Even if I can only be his friend for life having a friend like Andy would be enough to make that life better.

“Looks like Laura knew how to put that smile back on that face.” My mom announced in a soft voice as she leaned up against the door her arms crossed smiling down at me.

“I’m sorry I put you through the week of hell.” I apologized quickly.

“You were confused and hurt. There’s nothing to apologize for.” She countered walking into my room and sitting on my bed. “So are you going to go see him soon?” She asked hopeful.

“Tomorrow night I’m expecting Laura to come get me.” I answered as I bounced off the bed giving my mom a kiss on the cheek before I left her to go take a shower.

“Son you’re in love and it’s so obvious.” Jase’s mom whispered to herself shaking her head. Her smile faltered only for a second before returning. She then got up and walked over to the bedroom door. She glanced at the closed bathroom door before she left closing the door behind her.

A weight had been lifted from my body I thought. As I took my shower, but then thoughts of how tomorrow night may go scared me. Different instances ran through my mind. I could tell Andy everything I told Laura and it would be Andy’s decision to hug me or kick me out of his house. Which would be something unwanted but expected seeing as how I had treated him recently. I knew though that I was at a crossroad in my life. Andy could hate me. He could turn out to be my best friend. The one I can only hope for though is that he can return the feelings I have for him. When I was talking to Laura Andy’s friendship seemed like enough from him.

“Why can’t a gay version of Andy just knock on my door?” I asked allowed, but then a knock on my door did startle me.

“Um, honey are you ok you’ve been in there for awhile?” My mom asked as I poked my head through the shower curtain and looked at my clock on the wall.

“I was just relaxing mom.” I answered turning off the water grabbing a towel then drying off.

“Ok, goodnight, I love you.” Mom announced.

“I love you too. Goodnight mom.” I answered putting the towel around my waist and walking out into my bedroom. Mom had left and went into her room. So I put on some boxer briefs then got into bed. It didn’t take long before I fell asleep only hoping that the last of my bruises faded by morning.

Saturday morning I woke up feeling refreshed and energized. The first thing I did was bounded off to the bathroom to look myself over. To my surprise there was only one bruise left on my right rib cage. It was barely visible. Mom had left me a note saying that she had to get back to work before Dad had a nervous break down. I knew she probably meant that light-heartedly but it did leave me feeling a little guilty. I don’t like being a pain in the ass, but sometimes I can’t help it. I then busied myself through out the day. I cleaned the house which I rarely did clean the house. Since no one is ever home things tended to stay into place. All that really needed to be accomplished was a little dusting in corners or on shelves. I then finished the assignments that I was finally happy that Andy had brought me. He had thought about me even if I was a moody shit.

The thought of Andy and what may happen had started plaguing me when I let myself rest for the first time this morning. Since no one was here I had neglected to put on clothes. Which I normally never did until this morning. I then cooked myself breakfast and instead of eating in the living room so that I could watch television on the flat screen I ate it in the dining room by myself. After breakfast I changed into my swimming trunks for my daily work out that I had neglected to do ever since the party. I normally did about twenty laps back and forth in our pool, but this time I went until I was too tired to do any more, making up for the ones I missed through out the week. My anticipation mounting as the hours slowly went by.