Finding love - 1. Chapter 1

“Do you think he's ready to go back?” dad said while attempting to straighten out his newspaper and looked worriedly over at mom.

“They said he’s ready but just in case anything happens, I took the day off,” she replied setting a plate of eggs and toast down in front of him.

“Hey punk,” Nathan said as he slapped the back of my head. “Don’t you know it’s rude to listen to other people?”

“Ow, that hurt” I said while rubbing my head. “You’re supposed to be nice to me you know.”

“NATHAN, MATTIE AND NICK; Breakfast,” Mom shouted from the kitchen.

“Good morning mom,” Nathan said and slid into the chair next to dad.

“Good morning son,” dad said noticing me in the door way and held my stare as if he was trying to read my mind.

“Honey, come sit, I made your favorite,” Mom said while carrying two plates over to the table.

“Morning butt head,” Nick said as he pushed me aside in the doorway.

“Matt, sit please” dad said motioning to the empty chair. I looked around at everyone and fought back tears. Turning I ran through the living room and up the stairs and into my room; slamming the door shut.

“Maybe he isn’t ready,” Dad said as he looked at mom and cocked his head. “No, god damn it Nathaniel, you took that damn chair away. I told you leave it!” Mom said as she balled up the dish towel and threw it at my father.

A few minutes later, I heard a knock at my door and ignored it.

“Mattie, honey,” Mom said through the door. “Please come down and have breakfast.”

“No” I said through tears and continued hugging my stuffed dog really tight. I heard the door open and close and then bed sank.

“I told your father to leave the chair until you were ready,” Mom said trying to soothe me.

“It’s like Dad wants him gone,” I said as choked up and Mom pulled me up and into a hug.

“Mattie, it’s going to be ok,” mom said sighing and looking around my room. It had pretty much become a shrine to my oldest brother Noah. She got up and grabbed a specific picture on my dresser. “I remember taking this,” she said fondly, “You were so sad that day and Noah wanted to make you smile. He convinced me to take just the two of you to Sandy Point to play on the beach. He adored you Mattie just as much as you did him. He loved being a big brother to you boys,” Mom said as a tear fell down her face.

“Why does it seem everyone is moving on but me?”

“Mattie, people react and grieve differently and while it seems they have moved on, I know your brothers miss him terribly too. He was everyone’s big brother,” Mom said as we heard heavy footsteps on the stairs.

“Mom! We need to leave are you driving Matt?” Nathan asked through the door.

“Yes, I will be bringing your brother in late,” she replied. “Don’t forget you have the dentist this afternoon.”

“Aw mom, do I have to go?” Nathan whined.

“Yes, I didn't spend all that money on orthodontics for nothing,” Mom said and we heard Nathan retreat.

Mom set my picture down and grabbed my arm and pulled me up and out of the room. We stopped briefly at the door right next to the stairs that used to be the attic but had become Noah’s room.

“He loved the sign you made for him,” Mom said and let out a little laugh. “His friends teased him a lot about it and he told them someone special made it for him.” I knew my brother loved it as he had it laminated. It would always be Noah's woom (yes, I know it's room but I was 5.)

When we got downstairs, we found we were alone. Dad had gone off to work and Nathan off to his Senior Year and Nick his Freshman Year. There was a note that dad had put my food in the microwave.

“I’ll make you some fresh eggs,” mom said as she set the plate with bacon in front of me. I stared out the back door while eating. “Your father and I are meeting with the construction crew Friday morning. We are finally going to build that sun room your father has promised to build for me for years.” Mom said with her classic eye roll.

“Promise me, nothing happens to Noah’s room. I know dad mentioned taking over the space."

“Nothing will happen to his room sweetie,” Mom said and placed a plate of eggs in front of me. “Now hurry up or you’ll be even later.”

I ate in record time and mom and I went out to garage. Sitting next to her Yukon XL in the garage was Noah’s F-150. I tried not to look over at it while getting in the car but it was hard to miss the lifted monster. Mom drove like a mad man and I had to stifle a laugh when we got pulled over.

“Got somewhere to be?” The officer asked.

“Yes, my son is late for school,” mom replied gesturing towards me.

It was then the officer realized who was in the car, “Mrs. Jacobs, you know better. Good morning Matt.”

“Good morning Mr. Baker” I replied.

“Look Paul, I promise to drive slower but can we please go,” Mom pleaded.

“Fine Megan, I’ll let you off with a warning but please drive slower, we don’t need a repeat,” I saw mom stiffen at his comment and she nodded her head in the affirmative.

“Tell Mark I said hello,” Mr. Baker said and turned to walk back to his car.

“I will” I shouted out my window and he waved and drove away. We made it to school and mom parked in the circle and walked me in. We went straight to the attendance office and walked past the big glass showcase that was dedicated to Noah that contained all the school trophies and pictures from his time there playing various sports.

“Good morning Mrs. Jacobs, Matthew,” the attendance clerk said with a smile. "Hello Brody," mom said returning the smile.

Mom signed me in and I was given a pass and my schedule. Lockers would be handed out at the end of the week.

I made my way to first period and the teacher asked if this would be a common occurrence and I told her no. I took the open seat next to Mark and tried to pay attention to the teacher, I had no such luck.