Tales of the Underground: Blinded - 5. The Perfect Son?

They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, it’s funny, you think someone in my shoes would know that…yet when I first met Carter I assumed he would be some soft ass whiny rich kid. All the writing on the wall pointed to it, his pretty boy looks, the clothing he wears, the way he speaks…his sexuality! Yet I’m willing to put good money that he’s the only one around here who’s not afraid of me, the only one who will get in my face when he’s mad, and call me on my shit.

The rest of the day went on without any more arguing. Mr. Williams avoided us, and for the most part I kept my silence. I wasn’t mad at any of them; I’ve just said everything I needed to for one day. Every now and again one of them would throw something my way in an attempt to include me, but I just deflected it to someone else.

“Are you sure there are no hard feelings?” Carter poked for the 4^th time since he was in my face.

“For the last time I’m not mad!” I yelped, as me and Aaron got ready to leave “We’re cool, this is just how I am.”

“Really loud then really quiet?” he laughed looking from me to Aaron.

Aaron shook his head and laughed “That’s how he was all yesterday.”

“I prefer when I’m really quiet.” I sighed following Aaron to the door.

“Well I prefer when you’re loud, even if you’re spewing nonsense.” Carter smiled, bumping me with his shoulders.

I went to speak, but quickly looked down as I felt my face starting to blush. I quickly ran my hand up to my head and knocked some hair lose to cover my face. “We’ll see you Monday Carter.” Aaron quickly jumped in, stopping the silence from growing.

“See you guys then!” Carter reacted, ignoring our awkward moment” Enjoy your last day of summer tomorrow!”

I shook my head as Aaron pulled me out of the mansion. The last day of summer is tomorrow? Already?! God damn! I’m not ready to go to school again…I’m not ready to play by their rules. “Alright boys.” Mrs. James began as we climbed into the back of the car “Your father is bringing home dinner, so we need you to clean up as soon as you get home, is that clear?”

“Yes Ma’am” Aaron quickly answered as though it was programed into his mind.

“Is that clear?” Mrs. James repeated staring at me through the rear view mirror.

Aaron lightly elbowed me in hopes he could get me to talk “Yeh” I quickly uttered trying to snap into their reality. “Your father”? I don’t have a father, and its pretty damn early to start calling Mr. James anything close to that...but I promised I would give their life a chance…promised I would play by their rules. I won’t call him dad, but if they want to…well be my guest. As we got closer to their house I kept replaying the day in my head. Fresh start I reminded myself taking a deep breath…don’t ruin it…this could be good for me.

As soon as we pulled up to their house I rushed out of the car and up the stairs to the large bedroom I shared with Aaron. “Hey!” Aaron yelped, chasing after me “Mom said clean up! What in the world are you doing?!”

“Giving this a chance.” I muttered, grabbing my tattered old shoes from the end of my bed. I cautiously reached in and ripped out the sole, exposing a hidden area.

“What are you doing?” Aaron repeated trying to peer over my shoulder “God! Those smell like…like a skunk sprayed them!” The further I dug into the old ripped shoes the more I found. I slowly pulled out 2 cigarettes and a tightly rolled blunt, doing my best to keep them out of sight. “What are you doing?!” Aaron demanded for the last time.

“Minding my own damn business!” I exclaimed shooting him a nasty look “Do you need a lesson on that or somethin?”

“No it’s just…” he began “That’s…I mean…look…what are you holding?”

“Nothin” I shrugged, shoving them into my pocket.

“Boys! Dinner!” Mr. James called out, saving me from further interrogation.

I pushed past Aaron and quickly ran down the stairs. You can do this Riley! It won’t be pretty…it won’t be easy, but I can do this. I looked down at the tattoo on my arm and took a breath, he can’t do anything to you that they didn’t…I mean a beating from your guardian can’t be that bad right? I survived them from mom’s boyfriends…I survived them from shot callers…I’ve done this before I reminded myself. I felt Aarons presence behind me as he nervously wondered what I was planning.

“Good to see you boys.” Mr. James greeted with a smile “I hope you had fun at the Williams’!”

“I have something to show you.” I quickly uttered before I could second guess myself.

Mr. James shot me a confused look but did his best to keep a welcoming face. “What’s that?” he smiled.

As I reached into my pocket I felt my hand begin to tremble. Come on Riley it won’t be that! You’re Cyclops…you’re Cy…the thief…the one eyed shadow…the whisper of the saints! You can take punishment! I clutched the 3 rolls tightly as I pulled them out, and did my best to show no fear as I extended them towards him. “I know you said no smoking yesterday…but I hid these anyway.” I swallowed my pride and took a breath, remembering what I had promised to Aaron “I want to start taking this seriously…I want to give this a chance.”

He easily took the 2 cigarettes from my hand, but when it came to the blunt he had to issue some force to take it from me. “Oh Cy.” He let out in shock “This is…oh my…just follow me.”

I couldn’t help but flinch as he stood up. He gestured for Aaron to follow him, and I couldn’t help but sigh in shame. He’s really gonna put me on display like this? Damn! These rich people don’t play!

“Where did you hide this?” Mr. James sternly let out leading me to the bathroom.

“I’m a thief.” I admitted “I could hide anything anywhere…trust me…if I want something…well you could never find it.”

“Well I appreciate the honestly.” He nodded, lifting the toilet seat

“How do we know you don’t have any more?” Aaron sheepishly let out worried that this was just an act.

“You don’t.” I meekly shrugged, wishing I didn’t have to look so weak in front of him.

“I do.” He warmly smiled “and do you know why?”

“No” I shook not understanding.

“Because you came to me with it.” His smile became more genuine as he looked down in his hand “You could’ve easily smoked without any of us knowing, yet you didn’t.”

“I just want to give this a real shot.” I repeated, throwing my head down in hopes he would go easy on me.

“I know.” He nodded waving me closer. I slowly wandered forward and jumped as his hand met my back “Relax…do you think I’m going to hurt you?” I looked down in shame, avoiding the question “Riley…Cy…That’s not how we discipline our kids in this house…I could never…I would never hurt you.” I looked up and watched as he dropped both cigarettes into the toilet “This last one… this is marijuana correct?”

“Yeah…that’s my last blunt.” I sighed “Had to pull some serious strings to get it in juvie…do what you have to.”

I grimaced in sadness as he unrolled it and let the green buds fall into the toilet below “That was painful for you?”

“It fuckin sucks.” I shrugged staring at the destroyed roll.

“Do you have a drug problem?” he pushed with concern.

I sighed and looked up at him “Would I have brought it to you if I did?”

“Fair enough.” He nodded “Now come on, let’s go eat.” Mrs. James stared at us as we walking back into the kitchen but her husband quickly signaled that he had it handled. “So Cy” he began as we took our seats “Since this is just your first full day and you were honest with us, we’re not going to punish you for that.” He looked to his wife and she nodded her head.

“Whenever you’re in trouble, or something happens…you can come speak with us about it.” She supported trying to create eye contact with me “We’re here to help you not yell at you.”

“And we will never abuse you in any form.” Mr. James emphasized with a serious face.

“Abuse?” Mrs. James let out in shock. She looked from me to Mr. James than back “Oh no…dear did you…have you…”

I looked away and shook my head “Let’s not get into that.”

“Cy beat Carter today in basketball.” Aaron quickly interrupted “He’s really good…he’s gonna try out for the school team.”

“That’s great!” Mrs. James exclaimed fully welcoming the change of conversation. I looked to him and sucked my teeth, I know he’s trying to help but damn!

Mr. James nodded his head “Talk about a new start.” He smiled “This could be really good for you, I actually know the coach, if you want I can…”

“No.” I interrupted, still not fully looking up “I want to make it cause I’m good enough not cause you pulled strings.”

“That’s a good attitude to have.” He smiled, finally dishing out dinner.

Just like last night the room fell quiet as we all began to eat. I know they wanted me to talk, but just like at Carter’s I really wasn’t in the mood. Every now and again I would feel a pair of eyes land on me but quickly dart away. As we began to finish up I saw Mr. James look to his wife as they held a silent conversation.

“So Cy.” Mrs. James began with a deep breath “You probably won’t be a fan of this but Lake Michigan prep has a strict dress code.” I let out a groan at the idea of a shirt and tie “We’re going to need you to get a haircut.”

“Haircut?!” I shouted feeling my eyes bulge “Oh fuck no!” Damn how much do these people want from me?! I give them some leash and they hang me with it!

Mrs. James intensified her look as she heard me curse “School rules. You just spoke about giving this a chance, hair can always grow back.”

“Like hell it will!” I muttered reaching up and running my hand through it.

“It doesn’t even look good.” Aaron sighed “The left half is longer than the right half!”

“I don’t give a fuck.” I protested, stubbornly clinging onto my old ways “You can thank the fuckn pigs for touching my hair and screwin it all up for that god damn poster!”

Mrs. James let out a deep sigh “Watch your mouth.” She reprimanded “I’ll cut your hair myself if I have to.”

I grunted and turned to her “How short?”

“An inch above the collar and an inch above your ears…we can leave it kind of long.” She informed

“Fine, fuck…whatever.” I muttered, her eyes narrowed even heavier as she heard my words “Jesus! Sorry.”

“Watch the attitude Riley.” She keyed in, ready for battle.

“That’s not my name.” I grunted beginning to test her.

“Well you don’t listen to me when I say not to curse, why should I listen to you when you say not to call you by your first name?” I bit my lip and shook my head. No wonder they can foster at risk youth…she knows what she’s doing.

“Fine...sorry” I surrendered “I’ll be more careful.”

“Good. Now go shower and we should make it right before they close.” She ordered, keeping the same tone.

“Tonight?” I argued “Can’t I…”

“Now Riley.” She pressured, keeping on me.

I got up and let out a long groan “I didn’t even curse that time!”

“It was for good measure!” she yelped as I scurried up the stairs.

I took my time showering, but was eventually forced to hurry when she began banging on the door threatening that if I delay it any longer she’d take care of it herself. When I finally came out she rushed me to the car, and off we went.

“Are you really this upset over a haircut?” She poked after a few failed attempts at trying to start conversation. I swayed my mouth but kept my silence “You know it’ll grow back right?” I let my head fall against the window and tried to drift off into my thoughts “You’re scared to change?” She prodded once more, refusing to let up “I understand, it’s scary, a new setting, new people to live with, a new school…it’s a lot, but we’re not trying to change you. A haircut and clean clothes don’t make you who you are…your actions do.”

I shifted my gaze from the window to her “Then I’m a shi-bad person.”

“You’re not happy with the things you’ve done?” She asked, keeping a light tone that showed she was being more caring than accusing. I returned my eyes back out the window regretting that I had spoken at all “Then it’s lucky for you that people can change. If you’ve done bad things in the past then right your wrongs.”

“I don’t know how.” I let out even surprising myself at my confession.

She pulled up to the hair salon and a flashed a warm smile as she turned to me “Then go to school, become educated, join the basketball team and learn discipline, grow as a person…that’s how.” She reached over and lightly grasped my arm. At first I went to pull away but took a breathe and let her have the moment. “I’ll be here with you the whole way.” She nodded. As her words hit me I completely pulled away and quickly got out of the car. My whole life people have let me down…I’m not giving them a chance to do the same. “Come on Cy!” She gestured, walking into the big store.

Just do it and get them off your back I reminded myself following her. “This is my new foster son Cy.” She smiled “He hasn’t had a proper haircut in how long dear?”

“Never.” I muttered keeping my head down.

“It’ll be fun.” She comforted “You’ll be pampered.”

I snarled and rolled my eyes at her words “Oh my. He’s a rough one isn’t he?” the hair dresser laughed.

“You could say that.” Mrs. James giggled “But he’s a sweet heart.”

“Come on, I’ve got just the thing in mind for you.” The hairdresser smiled, leading me to a big black chair.

“He plays basketball too! Keep that in mind while you cut!” Mrs. James yelled out from her the waiting room.

“Alright Cy, do you want athletic or rough?” The hair dresser asked throwing a big cloak over me.

“Rough.” I mumbled keeping my head down.

I wiggled and fidgeted as she slowly began to adjust my head “It’s alright, I’m not going to hurt you.” She took in a deep breath as she pulled back my hair and got her first good look at my face “Wow. Rough isn’t the right word for you.” She sighed to herself as she shook off the surprise. Finally she began cutting and hacking away at the mop on my head. I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes quietly begging for it to be over. When I finally reopened my eyes I didn’t recognize the kid in the mirror. Short clean cut shaggy hair ended a little above my eyes, leaving them both exposed. The scars on the left side of my face, my left eye…it was all sticking boldly out of my face with nothing to hide it.

I jumped out of the chair and walked up to Mrs. James doing the best to hide the cut. “Cy, you look so handsome!” she encouraged “It’s so much nicer now that we can actually see your face!” I rolled my eyes and patiently waited for her at the counter.

“That should be about 40 dollars.” The hairdresser announced as she rang us up.

“40 dollars?” I reptead in shock.

“Yup.” Mrs. James smiled “That’s the going rate, you should see what my hair costs!”

“That’s crazy!” I exclaimed as she handed over the money “That’s like…”

“Alright.” She hushed pulling me away “It’s alright dear.” She giggled as we slowly walked out “These things are expensive, it’s okay!”

“That’s wild!” I yelped, getting into the passenger’s seat “That’s not just expensive…it’s robbery!”

“geez this is the most excited I’ve seen you about anything.” She laughed pulling away “Maybe you should become an economist.” I shook my head, and let my head fall against the window “At least it distracted you from being upset.”

“Yeah yeah.” I muttered still unhappy about the situation.

When we finally pulled up to the house I did the best I could to create as much separation as possible.

“Nice haircut, so that’s what you look like.” Aaron teased entering our room to get ready for bed. I turned onto my other side and ignored him. “Sheesh someone’s sensitive about their hair. What’s going on with you today anyway?” he poked but was once more met with silence “I mean I get it, sometimes your lively sometimes your quiet, but I didn’t know it would be this unpredictable.”

“Maybe you just got too comfortable with the person you think I am.” I muttered, breaking my silence.

“Maybe. Is that why you go so weird with Carter when we were leaving?” he nudged “You think he’s too comfortable with you?” I buried myself further into the bed as I realized how obvious I was earlier today “It’s cool, I doubt he thought anything of it.”

“What’s up with your mom?” I quickly spit changing the subject.

“What do you mean?” he asked taking a seat in his desk chair.

I shrugged my shoulders and sat up “What does she want?”

“To help you.” He smiled not understanding my hesitance.

“Why?” I asked making a face.

He thought it over for a second “That’s just how she is…she likes helping people.”

“But why me? Why can’t she just leave me alone?” I muttered staring down at the blankets.

“Because you’re her responsibility now. She’s overbearing and really cautious but she’s always been there for me.” He shrugged his shoulders and smiled “You might not understand it now, but one day you’ll appreciate it. It’s nice knowing there’s someone looking out for you.”

“Well I won’t hold my breath.” I murmured rolling back onto my side.

He stood back up and started to get his clothes together “You need her more than you know.”

“I don’t need no one.” I shot back in frustration.

“Like Carter said…you do.” He laughed “This is going to be one interesting year.”

“For me or for you?”

“For the both of us.” He sighed “I just hope to end it with a new brother.”

Before I could react he disappeared around the corner. I exhaled a deep sigh and looked over to his side of the room. An interesting year indeed.