Tales of the Underground: Blinded - 11. Secrets Secrets...

What has my life become? Riding around in a Maserati with a guy I’m seeing…walking into a mansion after varsity basketball practice for a private school. I’d say it’s a dream come true…but is this even a dream I would want? Is this the life I want?

“Cy wash up! Dinner is ready!” Nancy called our hearing the door shut behind me. I quietly followed orders and met my foster family at the now familiar dinner table. “So how was practice?” she questioned seeing me for the first time since the diagnosis.

“Fine.” I quickly responded reaching out for food.

“Just fine?” she teased “I would’ve thought you’d be ecstatic. I stopped by the office and filled out the form for your uniform, you’re gonna love it.”

“Sure” I murmured as a loud knock started to ring out from the front door.

“You will.” Aaron encouraged as his father got up to answer the door “The home ones are black and gold, they’re really really nice.”

“Cause you know fashion.” I taunted with a smile

He made a face and laughed “You’re one to talk! All 3 of your shirts are torn up.”

“I got 4” I corrected sticking out my tongue “and that gives em character.”

“Yeah so does their smell.” He jeered starting to keep up with me.

“Cy, there’s someone here to talk with you.” Walter let out in a strict voice.

I turned and caught the far too familiar uniform of the Chicago police department. I lunged up and went to run but Nancy reached over and grabbed me and forced me back into the chair before I could get away. “Didn’t know we were havin pig for dinner.” I remarked starting to grow angry.

“Good to see you again too Cy.” Officer Cooper sarcastically smiled “I mean look at you, in a big fancy house, wearing a private school uniform, and wow you got a haircut! I guess change is possible!”

“What the fuck you want?” I provoked starting to get nasty.

He took a breath and confidently looked me over “I think we should talk about that in private.”

“Nah, whatever you got to say, you could say it right here.” I forced knowing that if he got me 1 on 1 he could either outsmart me or provoke an action I would regret.

“You sure you want that?” He scoffed beginning to enjoy the moment.

“What I want is to fry the pig in the room like bacon, but if you gotta talk then go ahead.” I spit showing nothing but venom.

“Riley!” Nancy reprimanded “That’s not how we speak to guests, especially not an officer.”

“It’s okay.” He nodded “Me and Cy go way back, isn’t that right?” I snarled my lip at his words and waited for what he wanted “This look familiar to you?” he announced pulling a Glock 37 out of the black bag he had been carrying. I felt tension begin to fill the room as everyone got a good look at the handgun he was proudly showing off. I took a closer look and felt my snarl grow worse as I realized it wasn’t just a gun…but my gun. Deep marking ran along the sides from all the times I’d pulled it in and out of my waste ban. Bright blue paint covered the handle, a terrible reminder of how childish I was when I first received the small black piece.

“Nah” I dismissed turning back towards my food.

“Really?” he smiled “Because we have a good amount of sources who’ve connected it with you…I mean after all this is the piece you’re known for carrying. Portable, easy and most importantly high caliber.” He swayed his mouth and started to grow serious “You couldn’t just have low caliber, you needed the most deadly you could find.”

“Doesn sound like me.” I sneered not paying him much attention.

He lowered himself slightly in an attempt to get on my level and stared me down “You’re not the ghost you think you are. We know all about you, the Saints are crumbling, and we’re learning everything about everyone. How long until someone really snitches on you?”

“How long until you stop wastin tax money harassin a teenager?” I shot back “Besides Saints? I don know what you’re talkin about.”

“Then what’s the tattoo for?” He instigated starting to grow tired of my games.

I looked at my arm and laughed “I jus really like the football team.”

“The ice around you is growing thinner and thinner. You think you can just hide up here and play house? Well you’re dead wrong.” He reprimanded “Like I said, we’re learning, and pretty soon we’ll have a big enough case to take you in.”

Walter stepped forward having had enough of the display and cleared his throat “Excuse me, if you’re not taking him in then you have no right to talk to him like this, let alone bring a weapon into my home.” Anger started to grow across his face as he got a better understanding of the situation “I know my foster son isn’t innocent, but he doesn’t deserve to be harassed by some beat cop on a school night. Now if you don’t have an actual reason to be here then I suggest you let him have dinner with his foster family in peace.”

Officer Cooper slowly nodded his head and got to his feet “This gun was used to slaughter 3 rival gang members 2 weeks ago, and is connected to countless other crimes before that.”

“But my prints ain’t on it are they?” I questioned finally going on the offensive.

“I never said…”

“Yeah but I ain’t in cuffs, so they’re not are they?” I slammed showing anger “And the case must be closed cause you’re handelin that thing like it aint a piece of evidence.” Rage took over within me as I realized how much he was jeopardizing my life here “You come to harass someone who you suspect is a high rankin gang member, but don’t actually arrest him? Shit I don’t know much, but I know that’s how you get a target on your back. Not to mention 2 weeks ago I was in juvy, so I couldn’t have shot anyone.”

“Well then someone must’ve known where you kept it! Who had access to it?!” he demanded finally losing all his patience. “Enough of these games, its bad enough you’ve shot it at people, but now we have people it’s actually killed! Who did it?!”

“That’s enough!” Walter shouted “You have no proof that that’s his gun, and you have no proof he’s connected to anything you’re talking about! What’s your badge number? This is a lawsuit waiting to happen!” Walter quickly wrote down the number as Officer Cooper nervously rattled it off “You come to my home during dinner time and disrupt my family with some half-baked theory that my foster son would know who used that gun in a crime he has no connection with? What kind of crackpot investigation is your department running?!”

“I…this was all…” he stammered.

“No! Not another word!” he shouted “Unless you’re taking my foster son into custody get out of my home. You can’t trample over people’s civil rights because you believe they’re less than you!”

Officer Cooper threw the gun back in his bag and started to reluctantly head to the door “Don’t for one second fool yourselves into believing Cy is a good kid. He’s a criminal with a horrible past of aggravated assaults, drug possessions, possession with intent to sell, pimping out women, attempted murder, domestic violence, armed robberies, grand theft auto and so many burglaries we can’t even count them! The only reason we couldn’t arrest him back then is because we couldn’t find him.” He snarled “and the only reason he isn’t still locked away now is because we found a way to make money off of him. If you want to keep your family safe you’ll get him out as soon as you get the chance.”

I felt my heart begin to race as the front door slammed behind him. I took a deep breath and hopped out of the chair, not daring to even look around. “Where do you think you’re going?” Walter demanded still fuming.

“Pack my shit.” I grunted not daring to stop

“You’re not packing anything, now sit down and eat your god damn dinner!” he demanded walking back to his seat “Ridiculous! Comes into my home and ruins our dinner! I can guarantee he’ll be out of a job come Monday morning!”

“He’s not wrong.” I muttered still not turning back around “I’m dangerous…keep your family safe.”

“You want to throw a pity party for yourself you can do it after dinner!” He lectured with the same intense tone.

“Walter calm down!” Nancy yelped trying to gain control over the situation.

“I’m sorry but this is all just ridiculous!” he shouted “Cy sit down! You’re a not a danger to this family, you’re a part of this family!” I forced my body to turn around and retake my seat “but don’t think this is over. We’re talking about this all after dinner.”

It was hard to eat after that, suddenly all the comfort I had built with the James’ was gone…suddenly I couldn’t put on the façade of troubled teen...I’m not a trouble teen, I’m the one who creates them. I mean I did the best to warn them about who I am, but I never wanted them to know that much…to know exactly the shit I ran around doing.

“Aaron, go to your room.” Walter ordered as Nancy began to take the plates to the sink.

“He should hear this.” I exhaled trying my best to keep a confident face “He might as well know who he shares a room with.”

“You sure about that?” Walter poked with an intrigued face. I reluctantly nodded my head and bit my lip. “Well was that actually your gun?”

I took a deep breath and bit down harder “Yeah” I let out

“And you’ve used it against people?” he continued as concern leaked into his eyes.

“Yeah” I repeated taking another deep breath.

He locked eyes with me and thought carefully about his next question “Have you ever killed anyone?”

“Don’t think so” I shrugged “Hard to say, we didn’t exactly stick around after a drive by.”

“What the heck Cy?!” Aaron interrupted “You said you weren’t a solider.”

I looked away and swayed my mouth “Doesn’t mean I didn’t get involved in nasty shit…I followed orders.”

“But you said…”

“I lied.” I angrily let out “Everything he said I did…I’ve robbed people at gunpoint, I’ve taken whatever I wanted and slipped out before anyone could stop me, I’ve dealt drugs and prostitutes, I’ve beaten women…” I felt my voice begin to break as I rattled off all my crimes “I shot at people for reasons I don’t know…I’ve shot at people for wearing the wrong colors…I…when I would get caught robbing a place I would stab the person to try and scare them from callin the cops…I’m violent when I get angry… really violent.”

“Then why haven’t we seen that side of you?” Walter asked with an interested face.

I shrugged my shoulders and sighed “Here’s not like there…there I was pushed every second of the day. Stuffed with drugs and alcohol, abused, ordered around...I was what I had to be I guess.”

“What about now that you don’t have to be a gang member?” Nancy interrupted clearly disturbed by my confessions.

“I’m less angry.” I admitted much to her relief “but it doesn’t make me less dangerous…I know what I’m capable of, I know the things I can do…whether I like it or not.”

Walter exhaled a deep breath and looked me over once more “As I said before, you’re a part of this family. I meant it when I welcomed you into my home, and I mean it tonight. You’ve done everything we asked, even to the point of handing over drugs and cigarettes…you’ve given us no reason to lose trust in you, just because details from your past have arisen doesn’t change that.”

“But what if I get angry, what…”

“Then I trust you’ll remember who your family is.” He interrupted not wanting to hear my other question “I trust that you’ll stand up and defend your family the same way you did your gang.” He shifted his gaze to Aaron and raised his eyebrows “You understand that right? This is still the same young man that you’ve been sharing your room with…still the same young man you welcomed with open arms.”

“I get it.” Aaron nodded but his words didn’t match their meaning.

Walter swayed his mouth in slight frustration and zeroed in his stare “This does not leave this house.”

“Go it” I nodded in relief

“Good, now go shower.” He ordered finally done with the situation.

I rushed upstairs and tried to let the warm water melt away the stress from the day. I just can’t win! I finally start to open up to Carter and then shit like this happens! Man it’s two steps forward and one step back around here! I felt a nervous stare dawn on me as I entered the bedroom, still dripping with from the shower.

“I don know why you’re suddenly scared.” I sighed “I told you I was dangerous.”

“You also said you weren’t violent!” he pointed out laying back on his bed

I shrugged my shoulders and sat up on my bed “Told ya you didn’t know me like you thought you did.”

“You’ve hurt people you know that right? Like disrupted people’s lives!” He pointed out trying to be the voice of justice.

“I know.” I remarked wishing he hadn’t reminded me of it “I never claimed to be proud of this shit…did I have fun with some of it? Hell yeah! but when I was aggressive…angry…I...well I’m not happy with who I was.”

He shook his head and thought it over “Carter can never know about this.”

I clicked my teeth and leaned back “Yeah he would totally nag the hell out of me.”

“That’s not why.” Aaron angrily bit “He just doesn’t want to believe you were the person you were.”

“Why’s that?” I provoked, starting to grow nervous that Aaron was already onto our mutual interest.

“That’s not for me to say.” He exhaled in a deep breath “but if he found out how violent you were…well he may never talk with you again.”

“He’s really that scared?” I probed not understanding what Aaron had meant.

Aaron sat up and swayed his mouth from side to side “It’s just a sensitive subject okay?”

“Why?” I pushed “He grew up in a nice rich life, why the fuck would what I’ve done affect him? He said he wanted to hear about it today. He told me different is good.”

“Well trust me, he doesn’t fully understand what you used to do…he thinks you’re just a thief.”

“So what? Me being a full fledge gang member makes it too much? Damn you guys are two faced! I know I lied, but I was clear enough about who I am.” I angrily spit back “And I thought we were cool, I thought I could trust you.”

“We are cool.” He exhaled looking trying to force eye contact “I still want you to be my brother…we all still want you to get adopted…I’ll get over who you were, but Carter…I don’t think he could.”

“Well why the hell not?!” I fustratedly yelped at how Aaron was sidestepping the question.

“None of your business!” Aaron shouted back “I mean that’s your favorite saying right? Well there! Mind your own business! If he wants you to know about what he’s been through he’ll tell you. He hasn’t lived this big charmed life you think he has…why do you think he’s so much like you?” Aaron let out another deep breath in an effort to calm down “I’m just trying to help you, I know you two are getting close and I don’t want to see that fall apart because of your past.”

“Then you think I’m different from the old me?” I questioned starting to catch his now calm demeanor.

“I can at least put my hope in that…I have to.” Aaron forced a smile and stood up “You’re my brother, pretty soon all you’ll have to do is say the word and we can file the paper work to make that official…what kind of brother would I be if I didn’t believe you could be a better person.”

“A bad one” I muttered thinking it all over. Great! Something else to throw onto my conflicted mind…but do I really have to be conflicted over this…do I really need to question this…Aarons made sure I’m okay since day 1. He’s made sure I’m fed and even give me his clothes. If I can admit my feelings for Carter then…I took a deep breath and let a half smile cross my face “Lead by example older brother.”

Aaron turned to hide the surprise on his face, but I could tell my words meant something to him “For some reason I don’t think you’re going to care about the examples I set.”

“Not at all.” I laughed “But aren’t little brothers supposed to be a pain in the ass?”

“I don’t know” Aaron smiled “But you certainly are.”

I felt the mood gently begin to lighten as we goofed around while getting ready for bed. I…I’m conflicted, but they’re accepting me even after hearing everything…they know the truth and yet they’re keeping me. Why? What do they get from all of this? Aren’t they worried I’m going to lash out and hurt one of them? Aren’t they scared of me?