Tales of the Underground: Blinded - 48. Family Lessons

| Riley |

Growing up I’d always heard about how important family was. I’d seen it on TV or heard it on the radio, but never actually got my chance to live it. Now all that’s changed. Now I have a family to spend time with. But something still doesn’t feel right. There’s still a part that’s missing. A hole in me that’s calling out for something.

“That’s a very cute friend you’ve got there.” Grandma remarked as Carter pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. “He’d be perfect for one of your cousins.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her suggestion. “I don’t know bout that.” I let out, drawing a look from my father.

“Why’s that?” She asked, watching Carter closely.

“He’s gay.” I shrugged, pretending as though it didn’t affect me, but deep down I was bracing for the impact of my words.

“I knew he was too cute to be straight.” She complained in a sigh. “All the really good ones are.”

“I think Riley actually has something else to tell you about Carter.” Dad interjected, shooting me a serious look.

“You sure?” I gulped, looking up at him.

“Sure, if you’re comfortable with that.” He offered in a nod.

“What is it dear?” Grandma asked, carefully observing me.

“Just me and Carter, we datin.” I shrugged as my eyes fell to the floor.

She let out a small hum as she thought it over. “I did not see that coming.” She finally spoke. “But he’s cute, and he was willing to drive your brother’s here. As far as I’m concerned you’ve done well for yourself.”

“So you cool with it?”

“It’s not my life to be cool with.” She smiled. “When you get to my age you learn to live and let live. If you want to date your friend, go ahead. You’re not hurting anyone.”

I couldn’t help but smile and nod at her words. “More often than not, people will rise to your expectations.” Dad instructed. “Never forget that.”

I nodded once more as the small group from Carter’s car finally reached us. “You got the fastest car, and you here last.”

“I had precious cargo in the back.” Carter shrugged. “And yes, I’m talking about Aaron.” I couldn’t help but shake my head at his words. “This is why you don’t have a license.”

“But I’m gettin one right?” I asked, looking up to Walter.

“No.” Mom quickly rejected.

“Yes.” Dad quietly mouthed to me. “We’ll talk about it.” He quietly instructed.

“I’m not deaf Walt.” Mom reminded him. “He’s still too young to learn to drive.”

“He’s sixteen.” Walter argued as we began to enter the restaurant. “He can handle it.”

“Don’t punish me cause Aaron’s too scared to drive.” I joined in, trying my hardest to feed my dad arguments.

“First thing after his surgery I’m teaching him to drive.” Walter announced in a strict voice. “And that is not up for debate.”

“You’re going through with the surgery?” Carter quickly asked, as concern overtook his face.

“Yeah.” I quietly nodded.

“You know about it?” Mom turned and looked at him. “Riley said he didn’t want us to tell,”

“Ey, ey, ey,” I called out as the hostess led us to our table. “this isn’t a dinner conversation.”

“It is now.” Carter asserted, looking at me closely.

“That’s why it was so easy to convince you the other day!” Dad quickly pieced together.

Carter’s smile grew as he heard those words. “You actually listen to me?”

“Depends on the day.” I shrugged as we all finally took our seats.

“If it helps,” Grandma began from next to me. “you have nothing to worry about with the surgery. I had cataract surgery a while ago, and I hardly felt it. You’ll heal before you know it.”

“Thanks.” I forced out, trying my hardest not to think about it.

“Anytime, it felt like,”

“Why don’t we focus on ordering right now?” Walter interrupted, seeing how uneasy the conversation was making me. “It takes you forever to pick something out.”

“Does not.” She defended. “I just like to consider my options.”

As I looked down at my menu I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by the small pushed together litters. I tried my hardest to pick them apart, but no matter what I did they seemed to jump around the page.

“What do you think you’ll get?” Carter asked, glancing over to me.

“Not sure yet.” I shrugged, trying my hardest not to let my struggle show.

I noticed Mom glance over from the other side of Grandma as she heard those words. “You okay?” She asked.

“Fine.” I mumbled, trying my hardest to read it any way I could. Finally I took out my phone, switched to the camera and tried my hardest to zoom in on the menu.

“Do you need stronger glasses?” Carter asked, noticing the abnormal way I was trying to read my menu.

“Nope.” I shot down as I finally began to make out one of the words in front of me.

“It’s his dyslexia.” Mom finally explained causing me to release a deep sigh. “Sorry dear, but I don’t want you ordering something you don’t like by accident.”

“Oh, I forgot about that.” Carter remarked, looking over to me.

“I can do it.” I insisted, refusing to look up from my phone.

He nodded and waited a minute or two for the attention to die down. When he was sure no one was watching he turned back to me. “You need help?” He whispered.

“Yeah.” I conceded, realizing I had only read one entrée, and even then, the odds of me pronouncing it right were low.

“What do you feel like?” He began as he helped me sort through the menu. I forgot about this side of him, so caring and nurturing. He knew exactly how to help without embarrassing me. He kept his voice low and tried his hardest to let me read it when I could. He even stayed patient when I couldn’t pronounce things right. He knew it wasn’t me, but my dyslexia, and let it show through his words.

“I like that.” Grandma remarked as I finally got my order down.

“Oh, uh,” Carter began as a blush filled his face. “Thank you.”

“He’s very sweet.” Mom proudly added in.

“Wait,” Aaron interrupted. “Grandma knows Carter and Riley are dating?”

“They’re what?!” Grandma asked with wide eyes. “Dating?!”

Aaron’s face grew pale and my heart began to race in my chest. “Yes mom.” Walter worriedly began. “Remember, Riley told you,”

“I got you guys.” She interrupted in a laugh. “You should’ve seen your faces.”

“Mom!” Dad groaned as I let out a sigh of relief.

“What?” She continued to laugh. “I can’t have a little fun?”

“You gonna give me a heart attack.” I shook my head.

“You’re not the only one with a few tricks up your sleeve.” She warned. “Never lose your sense of humor, without it life wouldn’t be worth living.”

I felt my smile grow a little wider as I heard those words. “Don’t encourage him.” Carter teased. “He gets into enough trouble on his own.”

“He’s not kidding,” Aaron added from across the table. “and most of his jokes are on me!”

“Yeah.” I admitted in a nod. “Cause you let them bother you the most.”

“Do not.” He lied as his eyes fell back down.

“One day we’re going to lock them both in a room and see what happens.” Dad joked as he watched our exchange.

“We’d kill each other.” Aaron grumbled.

“No we wouldn’t.” I quickly rejected. “You talk like I don’t always got your back.”

“Not always.” Aaron rejected, finally looking over to me.

“When you need it.” I supported with a serious look.

“And me too?” Tak asked from next to him.

“You too.” I forced out as I glanced to him.

I could feel my parents and Grandmother’s eyes fall on me as they heard those words. They’re the truth though. Sure, I give Aaron shit, but I would never actually let anything bad happen to him. Even if I wanted to, I just couldn’t. I’ve been growing soft, and I’m finally getting to a point where I can admit that.

--

--

“You sure you can’t come chill?” I asked Carter as we began to linger outside of the restaurant.

“I’ve spent most of the weekend with you.” Carter giggled. “I need to give my dad some time too you know?”

“Fine.” I conceded as I began to walk him towards his car. “But no leavin me on read tonight.”

“Okay, then no snap chats of the ground.” He warned. “I want to see your pretty face.”

“We’ll see.” I teased as he leaned in and planted a kiss on my lips. I heard a couple of groans and ew’s ring out from Aaron and Tak as they were no doubt watching us closely.

“Love you.” He giggled, pulling open his car door.

“Love you too.” I sighed, taking one last look at him before turning back and heading towards my family. “No one told ya’s to watch.” I remarked as I got into hearing range.

“I didn’t expect him to kiss you!” Aaron shook his head.

“We was sayin goodbye.” I shrugged. “The hell you think would happen?”

“I thought it was cute.” Grandma defended. “It’s good to see young love.”

“She gets it.” I happily teased.

“Grandpa would too.” She reminded me, as she tried to draw eye contact. “Maybe you could come visit him with me sometime.”

“I would like that.” I nodded as our eyes connected.

“Good.” She proudly smiled. “Because living or dead, family is the most important thing.” She lectured. “We can’t leave them behind or forget. We have to live for them.”

“Yeah.” I glanced over to Aaron and Tak and nodded. “I get that.”

The goodbyes with Grandma were hard, but I knew I’d see her again soon. I know Walter will want to visit his father, and I’ll be right there with him when he does. I haven’t forgotten what that man taught me. I pray I never will.

--

--

The rest of the day felt like every other. We just relaxed at home and went about our business the way we normally do.

“Riley! Aaron!” Mom called from downstairs. “We’re taking Tak to the movies to see Black Panther, if either of you want to come. “

“They gonna spoil that kid.” I shook my head as Aaron sat up.

“They made a deal if he didn’t get detention these past two weeks they would take him.” Aaron explained. “I’ve already seen it, but trust me, it’s worth seeing twice.”

“I learned my lesson with movies.” I shook my head. “I ain’t tryin to have it happen again.”

“Good point.” Aaron nodded as he rose to his feet. “We can hang out in the mall while they watch it if you want.” He offered.

“Nah, go watch the movie.” I dismissed with a wave of my hand.

“Alright.” He shrugged. “I’ll let Mom and Dad know you’re not coming.”

I nodded and let out a sigh of relief as he shut the door behind him. Finally, more time alone with myself, and, well, my friend Mary Jane. When I thought everyone had left I broke out my stash and rolled another joint. It wasn’t perfect, but hey, I’ll take anything I can get right now.

As I threw on music and lit up I couldn’t help but escape into my own head. Without warning I heard the bedroom door creak open. “Hey, I decided not to,” Aaron froze as he saw the cigarette in my mouth. “Riley!” He shouted at the top of his lungs.

“What the hell you doin here?!” I asked, quickly jumping to my feet.

“I decided not to go, I’ve already seen it and I didn’t want to leave you alone!” Aaron shouted, just as panicked as me.

“Why you always gotta walk in on me doin shit man!” I groaned as I sat back down.

“Stop doing things in our room and I won’t!” He argued in an irritated voice. “Mom, Dad and Carter are going to be soooo pissed.”

“No they ain’t,” I clarified as I blew smoke out of our window. “Cause you ain’t tellin them.”

“Bull shit I’m not,”

“You really wanna mess up their night off?” I asked as he grew quiet. “And you really want to do that to Tak? Or worry Carter?”

“No.” He groaned, watching me closely. “You were doing so well Riley,”

“Save it.” I interrupted. “I don’t need the right act, alright?”

“You’re alone smoking pot in our bedroom, I think you need it now more than ever.” He pointed out, refusing to calm down.

“Man, it’s just weed.” I shrugged.

“I don’t care what it is!” He argued. “It’s not good for you.”

“Bull shit.” I called out. “It clears my mind man, and I’m tellin you, nothin I’ve ever taken does that.”

“So?”

“So my mind’s always racin and observin shit.” I explained. “Havin something to shut that up, it’s a god send.”

“So you’re telling me this is medicinal?” He asked, not buying a word of it.

“Little bit.” I swayed my head. “It’s recreational too.”

He rolled his eyes and laid back in his bed. “I’m still telling Mom, Dad and Carter tomorrow.”

“Come on man,” I sighed. “remember at dinner when I told you I have your back? Where is that courtesy back?”

“I’m having your back by telling them.” He insisted with crossed arms. “One day you’ll thank me.”

“Bruh,” I groaned extending the cigarette to him. “then at least try it.”

“No way.” He shook his head.

“Come on,” I encouraged. “You saw me smoking at our party and didn’t say a word. You know I’m good with it. Try it and if you don’t like it you can still tell mom and dad on me.”

“You just want me to smoke so you can tell them I did it too.” He pouted.

“I wouldn’t play you like that.” I quickly rejected. “You my brother man.”

He thought it over for a minute or two before sitting forward. “So I just inhale?” He asked.

“Yeah.” I quickly nodded. “Pull in the smoke, then some clean air, hold it and exhale.”

He nodded his head before finally walking over and taking a seat on my bed. He struggled at first, but as he finally found his groove we had a nice rotation going.

“I don’t feel anything.” He shook his head, but as he stood up nearly fell over.

“Sure about that?” I cackled as he wobbled to his side of the room.

“Not anymore.” He rejected finally reaching his bed.

“Think about this man,” I began, taking full advantage over the moment. “I could buy and roll for us whenever we want. You get stressed about school? No big deal, we got the remedy.”

“You’re trouble.” Aaron shook his head.

“And you’re not.” I reminded him. “We need each other to find our balance.”

“Alright.” He accepted in a nod. “Ask me again when I’m sober though.”

“Word.” I smirked, looking over and watching him. “What you really think of Trey?”

“He’s cool,” Aaron shrugged. “funny too. You’d really like him if you gave him a fair shot.”

“I’m tryin to.” I explained. “Somethin about him just doesn’t sit right with me though.”

“Nothing sits right with you.” Aaron giggled. “You’re just a grumpy grump.”

“A grumpy grump.” I repeated in a laugh. “Alright then.”

The room fell quit as we both explored our own thoughts. Yet there was one thought I just couldn’t shake. One that seemed to echo through my mind and spread through my body. I’m not sure if it was a few seconds, or a few minutes later, but finally I turned back to Aaron.

“You ever think bout your birth parents?” I suddenly asked.

“We’ve talked about this.” He forced out “As far as I’m concerned Mom and Dad are my birth parents.”

“So it doesn’t bother you at all that your biological parents are out there?” I probed, turning on my side.

“There are lots of people out there.” He observed. “Like, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds.”

“Alright,” I sighed, realizing just how stoned he was. “But you seriously never think about them?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I mean maybe, some times, but I don’t want to meet them or anything. I just want to know my genetic history. Like what am I, you know?” He asked as he began to distract himself once more. “Am I English, or Irish, or French, or,”

“I get it.” I interrupted in a laugh.

“Why?” Aaron asked, sitting up and looking over to me. “Are you thinking about your biological dad?”

“Yeah.” I finally confessed. “I’ve been thinkin bout him since rehab, but then what grandma said today after dinner. That we can’t leave our family behind.”

“He left you behind.” Aaron pointed out. “Sorry, that was harsh.”

“It’s the truth.” I nodded my head. “But I gotta be bigger than him, right?”

“Right.” Aaron agreed.

“So I should go see him?” I asked.

“I didn’t say that.” Aaron quickly answered. “And didn’t he say no last time you asked?”

“I’m sure I could make him, I got my ways.” I replied as I fell back into my own head.

“Does that mean you’re going to ask Carter’s dad?” Aaron giggled.

“Maybe,” I shrugged. “I was more thinkin our dad.”

“He does know how to pull strings.” Aaron nodded his head. “You better ask both just to be safe.”

“Maybe.” I nodded my head as I humored his stoned thoughts. “But you think it’s a good idea?”

“Do you?” He asked, turning it back on me.

“I don’t know.” I shook my head. “Everything’s been so calm lately. Do I really wanna start making waves?”

“You’re getting surgery soon.” Aaron said as he looked around the room. “You call that calm?”

“Guess not.” I sighed, following his eyes. “What are you doin?”

“We don’t have an even split of our room.” He answered, looking at my dresser then his own. “You get more.”

“Man, your desk is right next to my bed, how you gonna say I got more?” I asked as he looked over to it.

“Oh yeah.” He laughed. “I guess it is.”

“You’re smacked kid.” I shook my head. “You better find a way to pull it together when mom and dad get home.”

“It’ll fade by then, right?” He worriedly asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded my head. “But you gonna look tired as hell.”

“I’ll just say we were playing video games and it strained our eyes.” He decided with a nod.

“I always knew you was smart.” I happily agreed with a smile.

“I’m glad I caved.” He said as we made eye contact. “I’ve missed hanging out with you.”

“We hang out.” I offered, but struggled to think of any examples.

“Not like we used to.” He shook his head. “Now you spend most of your time with Carter, and I get it, It’d just be cool if we had more time together.”

‘Okay.” I nodded my head. “I’ll find some for you.”

A smile crossed his face as he heard those words. “And we don’t have to be high for you to tell me what you’re thinking. I’m your older brother, that’s what I’m here for.”

“Alright.” I accepted with a growing smile of my own.

I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do yet, but I’m glad to have Aaron by my side for the ride. I haven’t been the best brother I could be since I got home, but that’ll change. And David Walker, no matter what you did, no matter who you are, well I’m your son. That should mean something to you. Shouldn’t it?