Tales of the Underground: Blinded - 45. Vulnerable

| Riley |

I couldn’t help but smile as I ran around the gym, trying my hardest to keep up with Carter. I don’t know what there is about him, he just refuses to quit. You tell him to run a foot, and he runs a mile. You tell him to jump, and he asks how high, then triples it! He’s always pushing himself to new heights, and because of that, well, so am I.

The next few days saw Carter raising the bar. I don’t know what he’s chasing, but he’s after something. Even coach was left dumbfounded by how hard he was pushing us! I heard a few kids say he got his first taste of winning, and now he can’t stop. But I know my boyfriend. I know he’s won before. I know he knows what that feels like. Something else woke him up. I just don’t know what that something is.

“Riley!” My mom yelled from her car as we stepped into the parking lot. “Come on! I told you to hurry out after practice!”

“Another doctor?” Carter asked, turning towards me.

“Eye doctor.” I grunted, slowly making my way to her.

“Are you stupid?” Carter asked, giving me a push forward. “Go! Coach would’ve let you out of practice early if he knew.”

“It’s not that important.” I groaned as I threw my head back.

“You only have one eye,” Carter sighed. “you really can’t risk something going wrong with it.”

“Fine.” I conceded as I felt pressure from both sides.

Mom mirrored Carter’s smile as she nodded towards him. “I swear, I’m going to throw his number on speed dial.”

“No one uses speed dial.” I remarked, shutting the door hard behind me.

“What’s the matter?” She sighed, glancing over to me as she pulled out of the spot.

“Nothin.” I dismissed as my eyes drifted out of the window. “Carter’s just crackin down on the team.”

“Any reason why?” She asked pulling out into the open road.

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Guess he just wants to send a message the way they’ve been playin isn’t good enough.”

“You don’t sound like you believe that.” She analyzed, looking back to me.

“Cause I don’t know if I do.” I replied as I threw a pair of headphones in my ears. “But we’ll see.”

“I guess we will.” She shrugged as she let me escape into my own world.

It wasn’t anything personal, I really am just tired! I mean it’s already Thursday, and my first week back hasn’t exactly been perfect. I know I have people who love me. It’s just, I gotta get used to so many people around, so many people who expect so much from me.

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As we finally entered the doctor’s office I couldn’t help but let out a deep sigh. Last time I was here things didn’t exactly go the way I wanted them to. I know my eye’s fucked up, but damn, it’s still my eye! You try having someone want to take a piece of your body away!

“Riley Walker.” A nurse called out as we rose from our seats in the cramped waiting room.

“You could stay.” I instructed Nancy with a wave of my hand.

“Not for this.” She shook her head and placed her hand on my shoulder. “Go on.” She instructed, following me closely. I couldn’t help but look back at her and share a cautious look. We both know what they’re going to find. We both know what they’re going to say. And yet, she’s just as worried as me.

As we waited for the doctor to come into the room the nurse ran all sorts of tests on me. From eye drops to charts, they went all nine yards with my one good eye. It didn’t matter that they dilated it so much I could barely see. They were investigating everything they could, as thoroughly as they could.

“You okay?” Nancy asked as we both waited for the doctor.

“Just fine.” I lied as I struggled to make out her blur from the rest of the room.

“Can you see okay?” She pressured, as concern dripped into her voice.

“Just fine.” I insisted but as I felt her hand connect with my knee I jumped.

“Sorry,” She quickly apologized.

I let out a deep sigh and scooted back in my seat. “It’s cool.”

Before she could say anything else I heard the door open and shut, followed by another big blur moving in the distance. “It’s good to see you again Mr. Walker.”

“Yah.” I forced out as the blur stayed in front of me.

“How’s your vision right now?” He asked, growing closer.

“Fine.” I lied, moving back in my chair a little more.

“He can’t see.” Mom interrupted.

“His eye is pretty dilated.” I heard the doctor observe. “Don’t move away or close your eyes, I’m just going to take a look.”

I let out another sigh but let him get closer. Finally a blinding light flashed into my eyes causing me to pull back. I heard him force out a heavy breath as he shut the light. The squeaking of a chair filled the room as he sat across from both me and Nancy.

“Riley, last time you were here you wanted to be treated like an adult.” The doctor began. “So I’m going to talk to you like an adult, okay?”

“Yeah.” I nodded, staring at where the voice was coming from.

“Your left eye is badly infected.” He forced out. “I know you’re going to say it doesn’t hurt, but I just don’t buy it. There is no way that eye doesn’t kill you.” He observed, hitting the nail on the head.

“So what do we do?” Nancy asked as the concern in her voice grew.

“The only truly safe option is enucleation.” He replied in a deep voice. “It’s infected with bacterial keratitis, and I don’t even want to think what would happen if that spread to his right eye.”

“You’re not taking it out.” I grunted, staring off into the blurry distance.

“We have no choice.” The doctor argued. “You’re talking about your vision here Riley. Then, even after that, your eyes are connected to your brain. What if something spreads? Are you truly willing to sacrifice that for an eye that doesn’t work?”

“It’s my eye.” I forced out in a growl. “I’m keeping it.”

I heard him let out a sigh followed by another squeak of the chair. “Why don’t we give him time?” Nancy offered. “It’s a lot at once. I think he just needs a few days to let it sink in.”

“Okay, but please do hurry.” The doctor encouraged. “I would like to get this done as soon as possible.”

“We will.” Nancy agreed as I rose to my feet. “It’s alright dear.” She comforted as I took a step forward. “I’ve got you.” She instructed, grabbing onto my arm and helping to guide me. “Thank you doctor.” She politely let out before gripping my arm tighter.

“Thanks.” I grunted, swallowing my pride and letting her guide me.

Everything seemed to overwhelm me as the bright hallway lights blared in my face, and the second we stepped outside, forget it. I felt my eyes tearing up as the light from the sun forced its way into them.

“You okay?” She asked, as she noticed my hand trying to block it out.

“Fine.” I lied, as she helped me into the passenger’s seat.

“This could be your everyday life if you don’t get your eye taken out.” She warned in a serious voice. “Don’t sacrifice your sight for your pride.”

“I don’t wanna talk bout this right now.” I grumbled as she shut my door.

“Okay,” She sighed as I heard the other door open. “But me and your father are going to sit down with you this weekend and talk about it, okay?” She asked as I slowly nodded my head. “You can invite Carter if…”

“No!” I quickly interrupted. “He can’t know bout this.”

“Riley he’s…”

“No!” I cut off in a shout. “I don’t want him to know!”

“Okay,” She comforted as I felt her hand grip my arm. “we won’t tell him.”

It was a quiet ride back home from there. I couldn’t even see enough to throw my headphones in! I was just stuck, a passenger in a blurry world. I’m sure I’d get used to it after a while. I mean people live typical lives like this every day. But do I want to even chance ending up like this? Do I really want to risk my vision?

As we got home Nancy helped me inside and up to my bed. I could hear how much it scared Tak and Aaron to see me like this, but I ignored their worlds and fell into my own world. Eventually I drifted off into a nap and woke back up to my near normal vision. It wasn’t perfect, but it never truly is.

“Carter can’t know about this.” I grumbled as I sat up and looked at Aaron. “None of that happened.”

“Okay.” Aaron cautiously spoke as he turned to me.

“I don’t want him worryin about nothin.” I clarified as he watched me closely.

“Was that nothing?” He asked as our eyes finally connected.

“Yeah.” I lied. “Just a doctor’s appointment.”

He nodded and went back to his work as the room fell quiet once more. That quiet seemed to follow me into the night and next day. Lucky for me I was able to sell it as my changing moods, but the truth was I couldn’t stop thinking about my vision. I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to lose my sight. Never seeing Chicago again, never watching another bull’s game, never seeing my family again, never seeing Carter again. It all just seemed to haunt me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Basketball helped to clear my head, but as practice ended and we stepped out into Carter’s car I struggled to calm my mind.

“Everything okay?” Carter asked as we began the journey to his house.

“Just fine.” I shrugged, staring out of the window. “I’m still just,”

“Tired.” He finished for me with a smile. “I got it.”

“Sorry.” I blushed, refusing to looking over.

“It’s okay.” He said in his normal cheerful tone. “I understand. I just hope you have enough energy for, well, important things.”

“Important things?” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Like fuckin?”

“Like fuckin.” He nodded, trying his hardest to mimic me. “If you’re still down for that?”

“Course I am.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “What kinda dumb question was that?”

“Sorry for getting your consent.” He giggled glancing over to me then back to the road.

“You better be.” I teased as his giant home came into view. “Your dad’s really not home?”

“He’s been working a lot of late nights recently.” Carter began to explain. “I guess someone went and messed with the Southside a few months ago.”

“I wonder who would do that.” I couldn’t help but smile.

“Me too.” He sighed, pulling into his driveway and throwing it into park. “So what do you want to do first?” He asked as we stepped into the outside air. “We could get homework out of the way and,”

“Another dumb question.” I teased, throwing my backpack around my shoulder and turning to him.

“Fine.” He conceded leading me inside. “We’ll do it your way.” I felt a smile cross my face as our eyes connected and a blush spread across both our faces.

As Carter took me by the hand and up to his room I couldn’t help but take a deep breath. I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long, so why am I so nervous? I faked a smile as Carter looked back to me.

The second we entered his bedroom he laid a deep kiss on my lips. “I’ve been waiting for this forever.” He confessed, slowly backing up to his bed. As he pulled me down and went to kiss me, he froze. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothin.” I lied, laying a kiss on his lips.

“Talk to me.” He said, pulling away. “Are you not into this?”

“I’m into it.” I nodded, grinding my hips into his legs.

“I can feel that!” Carter couldn’t help but laugh. “I just meant, mentally.”

“That don’t matter.” I shook my head, grabbing at his shirt.

“Of course it matters.” He tried to comfort. “We don’t have to have sex if you don’t want to.”

“I want to!” I insisted as he put his hand between us.

“Then what’s wrong? Why aren’t you into it?” He asked, looking deep into my eyes.

“Why you always gotta do this?” I groaned as I rolled off of him. “Why can’t we ever just fuck and move on.”

“Because that’s not sex is for me.” Carter reminded me. “Now what’s going on?”

I moved to the edge of his bed and grew quiet as he gently embraced me. “I’m just, I need you to take this slow, okay?”

“Oh.” Carter lightly laughed. “It’s okay if you bust early, we have all afternoon,”

“It’s not that!” I yelped. “It’s, I don’t know what it is.” I sighed. “I’m just guarded right now, and I need time.”

“I get it.” Carter quickly nodded.

“No I,”

“I really do.” He supported, turning my head and gently kissing me. “It’s like your first time.”

I grew quiet and looked down as I recalled it. I was so excited, but I could barely keep up with him. Sure, I wasn’t used to banging a dude, but it wasn’t just that. I was scared, and on the defensive. And now, well I’m back to square one.

“It’s okay.” Carter comforted. “You sure you want to do this?”

“Yeah.” I nodded my head. “Needa break down that barrier again at some point, why not today?”

“Okay.” Carter accepted, landing his lips on mine one more time. I watched as he quickly took off his shirt then followed it by kicking off his shorts. He looks just like I remember him. Thin and lean with a hint of abs showing and of course that bashful smile.

As he saw my eyes drift to his tented boxer he couldn’t help but smile. “I’m all yours Riley Walker.” He whispered, laying back on his bed and allowing me to decide what to do next.

I gulped hard as I moved in and laid a kiss on his lips. As I finally managed my shirt off I felt my heart begin to race. “You’re safe.” Carter comforted, watching me closely. “I won’t hurt you.”

I nodded but as he ran his hand up one of my scars I couldn’t help but whimper. “It’s okay.” He reassured once more. I spent a few more minutes kissing him and getting used to the open air before kicking off my own shorts. But this time I felt my anxiety flood me even more.

“What are you scared of?” Carter finally asked.

“I’m just,” I shook my head. “I feel so, exposed.”

“Well you’re not.” He comforted, pulling me close and gently petting my hair. “I’ve got you, and we’re the only ones home. You’re the safest you’ve ever been.”

I laid there in his arms for a few minutes until finally I felt comfortable enough to move again. I went to remove the only clothing I had left but grew nervous as I saw his stare watching me. “Sorry.” He timidly laughed. “I just, I missed seeing you.”

“Yeah?” I nervously asked.

“Of course.” He nodded his head. “I think it’s easy for you to forget, I missed you just as much as you missed me.” He giggled, pulling me back on top of him. “Not just emotionally either Riley. I missed holding you, kissing you, sucking you,” He began, trying his hardest to seduce me. “And most of all, fucking you.” I grew quiet as I laid my head on his chest. “Porn doesn’t have anything on you. You’re perfect in every area.”

“You won’t hurt me?” I have no idea where the question came from, but it seemed to force its way to my lips all by itself.

“Never.” He quickly answered. “Never ever.” He insisted, as I looked up at him.

“All the porn sites were blocked in rehab.” I confessed, finally letting him in. “I just, I had to rely on memories.”

“Of me?” He asked as I nodded my head. “Well all you had to do was ask and I would’ve gotten you a video or two.”

“Oh.” I blushed as he gently ran his hand up and down my back.

“But for the record I tried to use memory the best I could.” He admitted. “Because no one is as perfect as you are.”

“I ain’t even have a big dick.” I grumbled, feeling insecurities take over my vulnerable side. “It ain’t even bigger than yours.”

“That’s fine.” He smiled. “Because it’s still perfect to me.” He gently lowered his wandering hand to my ass and rested it there. “How do you feel?”

“Better.” I forced a smile. “I-I’m ready.” I exhaled, sitting up and beginning to take my boxers off. The second my five inches hit the air I felt all my insecurities rush back to me. “It’s so small.” I whimpered as shame filled me.

“Stop.” Carter warned, looking up into my eyes. “You feel that?” He asked, grabbing my hand and placing it behind me onto his bulge. “If I didn’t think it was perfect would I be that excited?”

“No.” I shook my head, gently grabbing at his silk covered member. I created a ring with my fingers as he gently pushed the covered shaft through the best he could. Suddenly I let go and returned my hand to my side.

“You’re ashamed of being gay again.” He groaned, seeing it in my eyes.

“Yeah.” I confessed, showing a side of me only he gets to see. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He nodded as I climbed off of him. “but remember what I told you all those months ago?” He asked, moving forward and throwing my boxers off of the bed before I could even think about putting them back on. “What happens with girls?”

“I-I go soft.” I admitted more to myself than him.

“But what’s happening now?” He asked, looking at my dripping length. “You’re so excited there’s already pre-cum.”

“I know but,”

“But what? You don’t deserve the fun because you’re gay?” He asked, putting pressure on me. “You deserve the pleasure Riley. You deserve to feel alive. You deserve to do what you enjoy.” I nodded my head but kept my eyes on my pulsing organ. “So fuck what they told you, because you have better sex then all of them combined.” He rallied. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinkin it’s excited for a reason.” I nodded. “I’m thinkin, I’m thinkin that I deserve this.”

“Exactly.” Carter nodded, starting to remove his own boxers. “Are you comfortable with this?” He asked, holding off until he got his answer.

“Yeah.” I quickly nodded as he dropped his draws and his excited six inches jumped out. “You got bigger.” I gasped, letting my hand start to grow closer.

“Whatever you want Riley.” He encouraged as he saw my hesitation. “I’m yours.”

I nodded and finally let my hand lightly grasp his length. At first I moved it around, trying my hardest to shake off the rust from all the months without sex. But as I began to slowly stroke it I saw his hand reach for mine.

I closed my eyes as I felt his soft hand wrap around it. It felt as though he was pulling me off the bed as my hips raised with every stroke. “You like that?” He egged on shooing my hand off his cock. I couldn’t help but moan as his hand switched to my sack. “What about that?” He whispered, slowly rolling it in his hand.

As I reopened my eyes I felt a new energy hit me. Instinct finally kicked back in as I pushed him onto his back. “Yeah?” He happily asked, as I began to suck at one of his nipples. “You comfortable now?”

I let my tongue do the talking as I traced a line down his stomach. The second I reached his stiff rod all bets were off. My mind was no longer worried about insecurities or being vulnerable. It wanted one thing and one thing only.

I lifted it up and gently sucked at the balls beneath, making sure to switch back and forth. “Riley.” He exhaled, reaching for my head. “Riley take it.” He instructed as I moved up and began to run his length with my tongue. “That’s it.” He exhaled as I pulled it into my mouth. I must’ve knicked him with a tooth or two because he fidgeted but didn’t say anything.

As whimpers and moans escaped his lips I felt my lust grow stronger and stronger. I may try my hardest to hold that tough demeanor but in here, well Carter calls the shots.

“Come here.” He happily decided forcing my head off of him and motioning me up to his head. The second my crotch reached his face I felt him beginning to lick at my length. I couldn’t help but moan once more as it slipped into his mouth. I swear I could feel every taste bud on his tongue as he made sure to show me how it was done. He kept it going until finally he let me slip out and began to suck on the tip.

“Carter man,” I wiggled as the sensation overwhelmed me. “You know, you know that gets me.” I forced out as he looked up to me and forced eye contact. “You gonna make me cum.” I let out a big breath as he finally let me go.

“That’s my favorite part about giving you head.” He shyly giggled. “You literally only like your head.”

“And what do you like?” I reached back and grabbed onto his appendage. “This?” I asked, slowly stroking it. I watched his eyes carefully as I began to stroke faster and faster. “Nah you want more.” I nodded. “You wanna fuck me.”

“Yeah.” He confessed as his head fell back. “But we’re taking it slow.” He exhaled in a heavy breath. “Right?”

“No.” I decided letting him go and standing up.

“No?” He repeated as I went to his bed side table and grabbed a condom and lube.

“Nah.” I shook my head, turning around and opening the condom. “You know why?”

“Why?” He excitedly asked as I slowly placed the condom over his warm cock.

“Cause you waited for me.” I instructed slowly stroking him. “Then you made sure I was okay, and went at my pace.”

“Yeah but if you’re not comfortable.”

“Oh trust me.” I interrupted, laying back and starting to coat my pink ring with the lube. “I’m comfortable.” I nodded as I felt my finger slip in and out. At first the pain made me tighten up but as I looked at his pulsing dick my mouth began to water.

I ran my lubed up hand over the condom before getting so close my dick was pressing up against his chest. He held himself straight as I slowly came down on it. He went to stop me as he met resistance but the second I felt him starting to poke through I let out a cry of pleasure.

Sure, the pain was setting in but feeling him inside me, feeling my body hold him tight. It send shivers down my spine. I laid my forehead against his as we sat face to face. “This, this is new.” He managed out but I could tell I had him in a different world.

As I slowly began to force myself up and down I saw his head lean back in ecstasy. Before I knew it I felt his bulging head hit a golden spot. “Oh Carter.” I exhaled, starting to force it faster and faster. “Oh.” I moaned as I made sure he kept hitting it.

“I can’t,” He was able to force out. “You need to slow down” He pleaded but the spot felt too good. I moved faster and faster as I felt the greatest pleasure I had ever known. Cries started to fly out of me his six inches kept nailing my g-spot.

“Riley it’s coming,” He warned but I kept moving. “Riley,” He repeated. But this time my name started to turn into a cry. He whimpered louder and louder until finally he let out a loud grunt and stiffened his body.

“Oh.” He exhaled as I climbed off of him. “Holy shit.” He heavily breathed. “Holy shit, I, I think I almost blacked out.” He shook his head as I ripped the condom off and began to lick his sensitive rod clean. He let out another loud whimper until finally he pulled my head off. “What’s gotten into you?”

“I just wanted to make sure you knew how much I loved you.” I bashfully admitted. “Plus, you were hitting my spot.”

“I could tell.” He giggled, but the smile faded from his face as he saw my still erect dick. “You didn’t cum?”

“I told you I wasn bustin early.” I shrugged with a smile.

“How?” He shook his head.

“My secret.” I tempted. “So you gonna take care of it?”

“You jacked off at some point today!” He quickly figured out.

“This mornin.” I admitted in a laugh. “Whatever it takes to make the head last longer.” I shrugged, but grew quiet as he grabbed onto my dick.

I let out a deep breath as his one hand stroked me and the other found its way to my raw pink circle. “How’s that?” He asked slowly beginning to finger me. “You like it?” He continued, trying his hardest to help me get lost in it all.

“Carter,” I finally began. “it, it’s coming.”

He nodded his head and returned both his hands to my front as he began to suck me. “Shit man.” I forced out. “I-I can’t hold out for much longer.”

Suddenly he let my dick fall out of his mouth and laid under it. “You’ve always wanted to.” He exhaled. “So go ahead.”

“Really?” I asked, feeling one of his hands return to my backside. I couldn’t help but sigh as it’s found it’s way back into me.

“Yeah.” He giggled, enjoying the spell he had me under.

I nodded and began to quickly stroke myself. He opened his mouth and prepared as I went faster and faster. “He-here.” Was all I could manage as my dick widened and spurt after spurt flew out of it. Carter shut his mouth again and took it as it slowly coated his face.

I let my body fall back on his bed as I tried to catch my breath. “Riley,” He groaned, grabbing a towel from under his bed. “I thought you came before you got here?”

“I did.” I shrugged. “I had a lotta cum then, and I got a lotta cum now.” I couldn’t help but laugh as he cleaned off his face. “You know you liked it.”

“Yeah.” He bashfully admitted as he threw me the towel. “I liked all of it.”

“All of it?” I couldn’t help but ask as I wiped myself off and laid back on his bed.

“Yup, especially that new position. Where’d you find it?” He asked, crawling up next to me.

“Where do you think I found it?” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re stupid.” He rolled his eyes, but rested his head against my shoulder anyway. “But beautiful.”

“And you’re hot.” I reflected back. “Just look at you, like, damn, how’d I get this lucky?”

“Stop.” He giggled as our eyes connected.

“No really,” I encouraged. “how do I get to sleep with you? I must’ve hit the lottery or some shit.”

“I forgot how much I liked post-sex Riley.” He giggled but as our eyes stayed locked his smile began to fade. “Now are you going to tell me what you’ve been hiding all day?”

“You’ve known?” I sighed as he gently began to run his hand across my chest.

“I read you like a book.” He softly smiled. “Now go on, you can tell me anything.”

“I don’t wanna talk bout it.” I shook my head. “It’s nothing too big,” I lied. “I just, I wanna keep it off my mind for now. I’ll tell you soon.”

“Okay.” He quickly nodded as his hand began to wander. “Besides, I think I know how to distract you.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as he started to help me warm up for round two. I know to some people it’s just fucking, but that’s not how it is between Carter and I. Trust me! I’ve tried! To him, sex, it’s like a gift we give each other. And in it, well I’m the most vulnerable I’ve ever been. But for some reason that doesn’t scare me. Not when I’m with Carter.