Tales of the Underground: Blinded - 13. Questions...

I looked over at the teen next to me and raised my eyebrows. There’s something about Carter…my whole life I’ve been able to deceive people, it didn’t matter who it was, from food cart venders to my shot caller…I was always able to trick people into believing what I wanted them to; but Carter, well he’s not like that. He sees right through me no matter what I do or say. He can tell when I’m hiding things, or when I’m just off, but most importantly he knows how to fix things…how to make me feel better.

“So what do you want to do now?” he smiled, running his hand up into his hair to make sure it was still cooperating. I shrugged my shoulders but didn’t say anything “Alright we’ll go watch the bulls.”

“Now you’re talkin.” I nodded reflecting back his smile. He rolled his eyes and led the way through his house down into his basement. Once more I was amazed by all the different jerseys that lined the walls…it was almost like a museum “Why do you got all this shit?”

“Dad really likes sports.” He laughed “He’s always adding things or taking things away…I have a signed Mourning jersey up in my room.”

“Shit better not be a heat jersey.” I stared him down faking an angry look.

He giggled and rolled his eyes “Of course it’s a heat jersey.”

“Man what the fucks wrong with you? You’re from Chicago you’re supposed to hate the heat!” I yelped as we finally reached the couch.

He shrugged and returned the stare “I love basketball, it doesn’t matter what the team.”

“Alright well what’s your main team?” I provoked worried what the answer would be.

“You’re so narrow minded you know that?” he smiled “Why do I have to have just 1 team?”

“Cause that’s what makes sports fun, you gotta have that team that makes your blood boil and that team that just makes you hyped.” I explained trying to apply more pressure “So who’s your team?”

“I mean it’s the bulls, but it…”

“Ahhhh” I yelped jumping back up to my feet “I knew it! You just wanna be difficult!”

“Riley!” he shouted “I don’t just blindly follow them like you do. You probably think they could beat the warriors.”

“I’d rather think they’ll be great then they’ll be bad.” I shrugged falling back to the couch as he finally put the game on.

“Oh yeah I forgot, you’re the poster child for optimism.” Our eyes met and I couldn’t help but look confused “It means being hopeful.” I shrugged once more and directed my attention to the game “Man the schools in the southside must really suck.”

“Wouldn’t know” I dismissed

“Wait what?!” he exclaimed bringing up his legs and staring at me “You grew up there didn’t you?”

“Yeah but it’s not like I went to school.” I exhaled trying to avoid looking at him.

“Then what did you do all day?” he poked more interested in me than the game.

“Played ball or tried to stock the house up with shit we needed.” I let out trying to remember life back then “When I joined the Saints…well they found ways to fill my day.”

“Speaking of the Saints, you never told me what those marks on your tattoo mean.” He raised his eyebrows hoping he could squeeze another secret out of me.

“What is this? An interview?” I turned and locked eyes with him “I told you enough for one day.” I looked down at the blue band on my arm and nodded to myself. It wasn’t my choice to get it, and I didn’t really get any say on where to put it, but it’s not a bad looking tattoo…hell, I’ve always kinda liked it.

“Fine” he groaned faking disappointment “But one day I expect to know everything.”

I let out a laugh and shook my head “I don’t even know everythin about myself.” Our eyes connected once more and I realized that I’ve never even asked him anything “So what about you…what’s your story?”

He shrugged and thought it over “Well I pretty much grew up in this house, I think we’ve lived here since I was 6 or 7…that was a long time ago though.” He sighed thinking it over “Back when my parents were still together and we were still a family, but I guess life goes whether you’re ready or not.”

“You really took their separation hard?” I poked recalling Owen’s words from earlier this week.

“It was just a lot of change at once. I mean it was like 4 years ago, but I don’t know…I barely get to see my mom anymore.” His eyes drifted off and I could tell he wasn’t telling me everything “but it’s okay.” He forced a smile “I’ve found ways to deal with it all.”

“Where does she live now?” I pried hoping to reveal the big bad secret .

“Chicago.” He exhaled “She would never leave this city…but my dad has custody and they don’t really get along. I’m sorry…” he nervously laughed “This probably sounds stupid to you.”

“I get it” I nodded in support “We all got our own shit.”

“Guess so” For the first time since I had met Carter I saw him in his own head, I saw him second guessing who he was. With a shaky hand I stretched out and landed my hand on his, just like he did to me a few minutes ago. “You’re hands are so rough.” He teased trying to lighten up.

“Cause I climb.” I shrugged playing with my free hand. He shook his head and laughed to himself “What?”

“Nothing” he giggled “Just thinking about when you climbed that tree…you’re so stupid.”

“I like heights.” I smiled “No one can get me up there.”

“What happens if I want to get you?” He teased beginning to rest his body weight against me.

I shifted away but left our hands touching “Then you better learn how to climb.”

He took in a deep breath and glanced towards our hands in thought “A week ago you wouldn’t even shake my hand…look at you now.”

“Don’t make this a thing.” I sighed as a smile grew on his face. “Carter! No!” I warned as he laid back and tried to rest his head against my shoulder. I quickly pushed him away before he could grow comfortable “Cut it out!”

He flipped his hand and grasped mine with a laugh “You’re not very cuddley.”

“Why the fuck would I be?” I groaned looking at him out of the corner of my eye. He giggled a little and just like that I saw another question form in his mind. “No!” I quickly shot down “Don’t even think about asking me anythin.”

“1 more.” He pleaded pouting his bottom lip. I quickly diverted my eyes back to the bulls game knowing the damage his looks could do “If you answer it I’ll stop trying to touch you.”

“What is it?” I exhaled bracing for whatever he could throw my way.

He carefully thought about his words, making sure it came out the way he wanted it to “So what are you thinking about adoption?”

“I give you another question and that’s it?” I looked back at him and faked disappointment “You’re borin man”

“Alright, but I warned you.” He smiled kicked his feet up and starting to lean back.

“Okay! Okay!” I yelped shoving him back towards his side of the couch “I don’t know.” I shrugged “that’s a big question.”

“Oh yeah? I thought it was boring?” he teased with a quick raise of his eyebrows “Just think out loud” I took a deep breath and thought it all over “It’s okay, it’ll stay between us.”

“I don know man, it’s like if I go back…well whats left there.” I finally let out “I hear the saints are dyin off…but at the same time the saints are dyin off, should I really jus sit here in luxury and let raza hunt em down?”

“It’s not your job to protect them.” He poked trying to help my decision.

“It is though.” I insisted “I’m…I was a lieutenant…” I closed my eyes and took a breath, realizing that I was starting to tell Carter too much “I was in charge of all the other thieves, if you wanted to rob a place…well you had to ask me.”

“And you got arrested for that.” He argued, slowly starting to get invested “You struck a deal with the police, and you…”

“Woh woh” I interrupted “Who the hell tol you this?”

A red blush filled on his face as he leaned back “Aaron” he weakly let out “Don’t be mad! We’ve been best friends since we were in preschool! He tells me everything!” I rolled my eyes starting to get frustrated with Aaron’s big mouth “Besides it was like right after you got here, so he didn’t really know you yet, and he only told me! I guess he just needed someone to talk to about it all.”

“What else has he told you?” I grunted trying to keep my cool.

“Nothing, I swear.” He reassured “After he got to know you he stopped telling me things.”

“What you tell him?” I questioned keeping a cold face to hide the frustration.

“Riley!” Carter yelped “Is it really that big a deal if your foster brother and well…whatever you want to call me…talk.” He raised his hands as he saw the frustration grow on my face “Besides I haven’t even told him anything! I just said we’re both bonding over basketball!” This time frustration was beginning to bubble on Carter’s face “It would be nice if you trusted me.”

“I’ve never trusted anyone.” I dismissed starting to feel bad for the quick judgment.

“Well maybe it’s time to start” Carter supported letting his anger melt away. I fell silent and shrugged. He reached over and put both his hands on my left hand “You gave everything to the saints, and you almost wound up in juvy forever because of it…maybe it’s time to give everything to yourself.” I looked down at my right shoulder but left my hand with him “If you want to be adopted, then go get adopted.”

I moved my mouth from side to side and let his words hit me “Like they really want to adopt me.”

“They do!” Carter insisted “They…like I told you last weekend, Aarons wanted a brother forever and well, you’ve met his parents!”

“They’re crazy” I mumbled trying to hide from the conversation.

“That’s how parents are.” Carter insisted with a comforting tone “Besides, it’s hard for them. Aaron’s moms always wanted a big family, and well, her body wouldn’t let her have that…I’m sure you can relate in some way.” I bit down on my lip and nodded “I’m not saying you have to get adopted if you don’t want to, it’s just, if you even want it slightly…well you should go for it.”

I nodded once more and finally looked over at him “How you know all this?”

“My mom used to be really close with Aaron’s.” he explained grabbing my hand tightly “But distance and time, well they can hurt relationships.”

“I get it” I let out looking into his eyes “Thanks” His smile grew wider and before I knew it I lunged over and wrapped myself around him. I took another second to enjoy the embrace before pulling away and sprawling back to my side.

“The tin man has a heart.” He shyly giggled to himself. I felt his eyes on me as a blush started to form on my face.

“Shut up and watch the game.” I muttered having shown enough affection for one day.

“You like me” he teased still looking at me. I looked back over to him and shook my head “You like me.” He repeated in an attempt to get under my skin.

“I like you.” I softly admitted, feeling my blush beginning to burn up “If you tell anyone…”

“Yeah yeah” he giggled “You’ll chop me up and eat me, I get it, you’re Mr. Man.”

I couldn’t help but smile at his sarcasm “Who taught you to be like this?”

“Like what?” he smiled not understanding the question.

“Jus…not scared.” I shrugged not sure how to describe his personality.

“What can I say? You’re not the only misunderstood person around here.” He quickly replied with some attitude.

“Okay” I nodded “So when do I get to understand?”

“When you prove yourself.” He teased knowing the challenge would drive me crazy.

“How the hell am I gonna do that?” I spit making a face.

Another smile crossed his face as he thought about it “You’ll figure it out.”

I rolled my eyes and put my focus back to the game. Carters words seemed to hit me harder and harder as the day went on. Suddenly I couldn’t run from it anymore…I couldn’t hide from all the different things going on in my head. My thoughts were there, they were real. More importantly I was figuring out what I wanted…what I needed.

“So this is your stop” Carter smiled as he pulled into the circular driveway. I looked over to him and shook my head “What I’d do now?”

“Nothin” I shrugged with my own smile beginning to grow “Thank you.”

“For?” Carter led not exactly sure what I meant.

I shrugged and opened the passenger’s side door “Guess you’ll have to wait and see.”

“Hey!” Carter yelped as I slammed the door behind me “No wait! What does it mean?” he shouted rolling down the window. I shrugged and slowly unlocked the front door “Asshole!”

I turned back and raised my eyebrows “Cocksucker.”

“Flattering me will get you nowhere.” He giggled finally pulling away.

I shut the door behind me and took a deep breathe, making sure to think everything over. I quietly shut the door behind me and made my way into the dining room.

“Cy” Nancy called out as I walked towards the table “I thought you were going to call me when you wanted to be picked up?”

“Carter dropped me off” I shrugged “You don need to drive me everywhere.”

“He’s right you know.” Walter joined picking his head up from the paperwork he was filling out “We spoke about…”

“Walter!” Nancy interrupted shooting him daggers.

“You getting a permit” he continued unafraid of his wives’ silent threats “and we agreed that I will teach you to drive, if you can keep at least a B average in school.”

“We agreed?” Nancy mumbled, clearly unhappy about the situation.

“Okay.” I exhaled taking a seat across from them.

Walter looked to his wife than back at me “I thought you’d be more excited.”

“I am.” I let out as my thoughts began to flood my mind “I just…I want to talk about somethin.”

“Okay.” Nancy offered sitting up straight. I could tell her heart was starting to race, worried about what I had to say “What’s on your mind?”

“I…” I uncomfortable shifted in my seat as I thought about everything that was happening in my life. Am I sure this is what I want to do? Am I sure this is who I want to be? What I want to be? “I…so…” I uncomfortable forced out “If I can be…I want to be adopted.”

I felt the words sting the air as my foster parents quickly looked at one another, unsure if they had heard my words correctly. “Wait…what?” Nancy gasped in shock.

“If you want me…I want to be adopted.” I muttered looking down, still uncomfortable with the words escaping my mouth.

“I…” Nancy’s eyes began to water as she looked at her husband still not sure that this was actually happening.

“Cy…” Walter interrupted in disbelief knowing his wife was too overcome by emotions to speak “I…it’s only been a week and a half are you sure?”

I shrugged and moved my mouth from side to side “Yeah” I let out listening to my gut for the first time in years “Its what I want…if you can do it.”

“I..” Nancy let out once more before jumping out of her seat and lunging at me “I’m so proud of you!” I wiggled not sure what to do as she embraced me “Of course we can adopt you! Of course we want to!”

“Nancy, I think you should let him go now, he doesn’t….”

“It’s fine.” I interrupted looking over at him. He nodded in approval, fighting off his own round of emotions.

After a few more seconds Nancy finally let me go, and whipped the tears from her eyes “Hey Aaron!” she shouted “We need to talk to you!”

“Alright!” he yelped quickly making his way downstairs “Oh Cy, how was Carter’s?” he poked as he saw me sitting there “I still don’t know why me, Owen and Noah couldn’t come over, I mean I know you guys wanted to talk basketball but…” he paused as he finally looked around and saw the emotion in the room “What’s going on?”

“I…I’m going back to the Southside tomorrow.” I lied, knowing it would help me tell the real news easier.

“What? No!” he screamed “Why?” he looked around in panic as concern took over his mind “Dad, there has to be something you can do! You can’t just let him…”

“Cy!” Walter sighed shaking his head.

“Fine.” I exhaled “I…” I took another breath as our eyes connected “I asked if they could…if they wanted to adopt me.”

“What?” Aaron inhaled, having the same response as his parents “I…you…but it’s only been like a week…what?” he stumbled in disbelief.

“A lot can happen in a week.” I shrugged “I jus…It’ll be nice to have a home.” He tried his best to hide the tears in his eyes but before I knew it his arm were wrapped around me “Damn!” I shouted “Would ya’ll stop huggin me?”

“Let me have this.” Aaron breathed in relief.

I let out a long groan and looked at my new brother “Fine.” I muttered “but it’s never happenin again.”

As he finally let me go I took a look around at the people who I had asked to adopt me. All 3 of them were so overcome with emotion, all overcome with relief…and yet I just felt…well the same. It felt like almost nothing had changed. I took another breath and nodded my head, I guess I just know better than to get my hopes up…better to put my stock in something that I know can fall through. Yet I could be adopted…this could be my home…I could finally have a family.