Black Star Cross - 11. It's A Wonderful Life

Black Star Cross

Chapter 11: It’s A Wonderful Life

BUZZZZZZ!!!!!

Grrrr...stupid alarm clock. I’m going to have to talk to Emmy about getting an alarm clock that plays music. I go over to the dresser to pick out today’s clothes. Aw man. I’m down to my last shirt. I’m already wearing my pants over and over again. And why does she INSIST that I wear boxers? What’s wrong with freeballing it?

Putting on my clothes, I head downstairs to find Emmy hard at work at the stove. Stephanie and Erik are already dressed and ready to go, and are watching the morning cartoons. Emmy notices my presence, which by now I am positive is a woman thing, and motions me to the table.

“Here you go, Shawn,” she says, handing me a plate of pancakes and eggs. “The kids already ate theirs.”

“Thank-you, Emmy. Oh, and before I forget, my clothes need washing. These are my last clean clothes.”

“Well, you know how to wash your clothes, right?”

“Umm...no, not really.”

“Well then, as soon as you get home today, I’ll show you how to wash them once. Then it’s up to you to wash them after that.”

“Okay, I understand.”

“Good. Now hurry up or you’ll miss the bus.”

I ate my breakfast and gathered my things before heading out the door with the kids to the bus stop. One good thing about my lack of popularity, I could be getting on the bus at a different stop and no one would notice…okay, except for a few people. As I sat down by myself, I looked out the window and thought back to what happened earlier this week.

~~~

Anthony was surprised that I had remembered his offer and was even more surprised that I was seriously considering it. He asked why I wanted to stay there, since I did have a home to go to after all. I tried explaining to him how things were between me and my mom, but I don’t think that he got the full effect. He just knew that things were rough between us.

“Well, I don’t know. What would your parents say? What about your dad?”

That struck a chord in me. I couldn’t tell Anthony about my dad, not now. So I told him that my parents were divorced and that my dad was off somewhere in Europe now. There was no way of contacting him. It felt so bad to be lying about Dad, but I had to do it in order to not make anymore drama than there already is. And I knew that Mom would be overjoyed in getting rid of me. That is what I told Anthony. He really didn’t seem to be buying it. He didn’t think that my mom could hate me that much. Then he asked a peculiar question.

“Do you think that the reason behind her anger is because she knows about you being...you know...‘that way’?”

I actually had to stop and think about that for a minute before coming to the conclusion that me being gay wasn’t the true cause of it. She had no way of knowing about Anthony and mine’s kiss, well actually kisses, unless Anthony told her himself, which I highly doubt he did. He can’t even admit it to himself yet. I told him that she didn’t know, and I never acted feminine around her, so she doesn’t suspect either.

After a little more questioning and answering, I finally convinced Anthony to call his aunt and tell her what was going on. I eventually had to talk to her directly and explained my situation. Although she didn’t like what I was doing, she agreed to letting me stay there for awhile. But first I had to talk to my mom about it. Well, I knew that that part would be easy. With only my mom’s permission needed, Anthony decided to stay a little while longer until Mom returned.

For once, we actually had a conversation where we didn’t start arguing. I was too tired of trying to get Anthony to admit his feelings for me, and Anthony was trying to be a better person to me, so no arguments came up. We just sat there, talking to each other. We started learning about each other as well. I was surprised that I opened up so easily to him. He was able to get me to talk about stuff I don’t think I normally would’ve talked about. I learned more about him as well. Every new fact about him made me fall deeper for him, not that he knew that was happening.

I guess that when Mom came in and saw Anthony and me laughing together, she must’ve been very surprised. That’s why when we finally noticed her at the door, she looked surprised, like she was caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to be doing. The smiles on our faces immediately disappeared and the laughter stopped. Was it that hard to imagine me with a smile on my face, or laughing good-heartedly?

She tried to make small talk with us, but I knew that she was just putting up a facade for Anthony. Actually, she tried every trick in the book to get him out of there. Since the plan was that I stay at Anthony’s aunt’s house, he sorta needed to be there when I told Mom about the plan.

She did not like the plan. At least it brought out her true self. She was screaming and yelling and saying all sorts of nasty shit, like how she was my mother, so she will raise me. Bullshit. A real mother wouldn’t make her son, who was missing for a couple days, pay for his own hospital bill. Or yell at him whenever she saw him, like she was disgusted at the mere sight of him. Or claim that she was his mother when she’s never shown a single mothering bone in her body since the day that Dad...went away. Anthony was even starting to get scared at my mom’s reactions. He looked at me as if I was supposed to tell him that it was all a dream.

The doctors and nurses heard my mom yelling (then again, who couldn’t?) and rushed in to see what was the matter. They tried talking to her, but when that only enraged her more, they had to physically remove her from the room. At the end, she was starting to shout threats at me. Now, I knew that this would eventually happen, but it was still shocking for me to be experiencing this. I didn’t figure that Mom would go so far. After she was safely away, I felt more aware about my surroundings, so I felt Anthony’s strong, supportive arm around my back. It felt like he was trying to protect me or something. I don’t think he even knew that he was doing it. I looked up at him and he looked down at me. Then he realized where his arm was and quickly removed it, followed by an apology.

We were both silent after Mom’s outburst. Anthony continued to stay there with me, probably for moral support. I was starting to get hungry, and I really didn’t want the hospital’s pseudo-food, so I asked Anthony to get me something to eat. He graciously offered to buy me my dinner for the night, and I thanked him greatly for the offer. As he was downstairs getting us some grub, the one of the doctors came in. He said that he had news about my mom.

Apparently, they suspected my mom of consuming way too much alcohol (one of the nurses could smell it on her breath), so they tested her for with a Breathalyzer. It came back positive, with a .2 percent alcohol rating. For some reason, she was still able to drive okay, but they say that she would’ve had extreme road rage if she got cut off by somebody. I suddenly remembered about the plan and asked the doctor if I could stay at a friend’s place until my mom breaks her habit. I really wanted to stay there longer than that, but the doctor didn’t need to know that right now. The doctor wasn’t happy about this idea, especially since there is another child, Kimberly, involved here as well, but since we have no close relatives to take us in at the moment, he would consider it. Then he asked a whole lot of personal questions that I really didn’t want to answer, but I knew that I had to, and truthfully, anyways.

He was just leaving when Anthony came back with the food. Anthony asked what that was all about and I told him what just transpired. He didn’t look to happy about it. Why is nobody seeing the good in all this? Now I don’t have to go back there anymore. Why don’t people realize this? Anyways, Anthony called his aunt, I found out that her name was Emmy, and explained to her what just happened. The doctor came in and said that if Emmy wouldn’t mind keeping me for a couple of weeks, then it would be okay with him. I asked what would happen to Kimberly. He said that if Emmy would like, she could take both of us in. Anthony told her about this, and then he told us that she simply didn’t have the money or space for two more children. The doctor said that he would investigate further into what we should do with Kimberly. Meanwhile, the doctor asked to speak to Emmy directly. Anthony handed over the phone and the doctor talked to her about all sorts of legal stuff. When they were finally done, the doctor said that I could go to her house the next day, provided that she fill out the necessary paper work.

The doctor left and Anthony told me where her house was. Then he stayed a little bit longer to talk before he had to leave. When he left, I thought about this new house and what my new family is going to be like. Anthony did mention something about kids, so I think that it won’t be just me and Emmy.

The next day, I was officially released around two, and Anthony came by to pick me up and drive me to Emmy’s house. It was surprisingly close to school, so I wouldn’t be changing schools. I roughly knew where I was, so when Anthony started to explain how to get to his house if I ever needed to, I told him that I already knew. Anthony still had to knock on the door, so he must not frequent this house too often. Emmy greeted us both like family and ushered us in.

Emmy said that she was surprised by my looks; she thought that I would be a little rattier. I didn’t know how to take that. Anthony said that he would be leaving now and left the two of us alone together. She mentioned that her two grandchildren, Stephanie and Erik, would be home from school an hour later. I felt the need to ask why her grandchildren were living with her, but I suppressed the urge to ask.

She showed me around the place, showing where my room was, saying that we would have to go back to my house to get some personal things over here, telling me all about the rules that I was expected to follow. I didn’t really mind the rules. Truthfully, most of them didn’t really apply to me (curfew at ten on schooldays, no alcohol, no bringing girls “home” for one night stands, etc.). I was to respect her, for she is my new authority figure, and talk to and be nice to Stephanie and Erik. I didn’t really know how to do that, but I said that I would try.

I spent the rest of the day getting used to my new environment. It was a major improvement over my last one. Apparently, I still didn’t have a fatherly figure to look up to; Emmy’s husband passed away years ago. I still liked the place. Emmy said that I would have to resume going to school the next day. That was what made me afraid.

I was woken up the next morning by Emmy. She said that breakfast was on the table. Unfortunately, I would have to wear the same clothes to school, for most of Emmy’s wardrobe consisted of blouses, and I couldn’t fit into the kids’ clothes. I had to ride the bus to school, but this was a different bus. I had to ride it with elementary kids to the elementary school, then switch buses to go to the high school, which was a few miles away. A pain in the ass, but I had no other choice.

I ate breakfast and got on the bus. I don’t ever remember the kiddie bus being so loud. Kids kept asking me why I was on the bus. I refrained from answering, confident that any answer I give would get me kicked off by the bus driver. I got to the elementary school and switched buses. Now I was with kids my own age. When they gave me the creepy stares, I started wishing that I was back on the kiddie bus. Those kids didn’t know how to hate somebody for no reason at all. They were still pure.

I got to school and headed for my locker. I was surprised that I knew where it was, and knew what the lock combination was. Anthony showed up and asked how my first day at my new home was. I told him that it was good, and I thanked him endlessly for doing this for me. He said that he was starting to feel embarrassed by all the thanks he was getting from me. Also, since we still shared some of the same classes, he would be sharing his books and notes with me until I got my own back.

The rest of the day went by relatively okay. I had to give all my teachers the note that Emmy wrote, giving a fake reason why I was absent for three days. The kids in the halls and in class kept giving me weird faces, but nobody actually said anything to me. I could only imagine what was going on inside their pea-sized brain. Really, now that I think about it, before all this happened, Anthony was the only person who made fun of me. He was the only one who ever did anything physical to me, or verbally bash me out whenever he felt like it. All the other students just played along; they never initiated anything. Now I’m really glad that Anthony is being nicer to me. I wonder what the other students are thinking about our newfound buddy-buddy relationship?

At the end of the day, Anthony offered to drive me to my house to pick up some things to take back to Emmy’s. He said that he’d already called Emmy and she said that it was okay. Since I really needed my school stuff, I said sure. When we got there, I was glad that nobody was home. I found out that the door was locked, of course, so I used the hidden spare key to unlock it. We quickly rushed inside and took whatever was mine and could fit in the car. We took some of my clothes, my school stuff, my blankets, some food, some of my postures, my CD player, and other stuff as well. We loaded up the car as fast as we could, hoping to get out of here before Mom came home.

As we were getting food, Anthony saw a note on the fridge door. He told me to come over and read it. The note said that Mom was taking an AA course and wouldn’t be working as much for awhile. Kimberly would also be staying at a friend’s house until things cleared up. The note was clearly addressed to me, so she knew that I would be stopping by. I wondered why my mom started drinking in the first place. She wasn’t normally one to drink. As we were finishing up, Anthony stopped in the living room and looked around. I asked him what was wrong. He said that he was remembering the night he spent here, with his battered body and the huge storm. He said it in a way that made him look like he was remembering it in a good way.

We left, got back to Emmy’s, brought in all the stuff we took, and put it in my room. Anthony said that he had to go home now, that he still had homework and chores to do, so he left and I started on my homework. The rest of the night was peaceful. I ate dinner, talked to Emmy and her grandchildren, and watched some TV. It actually felt good to be doing some family activities once again. And I didn’t feel the need to open up too much to them, or put up a big wall between me and them.

~~~

That is how the rest of the week went. I woke up, Emmy had given me an old alarm clock which I immediately took an instant hating to, had breakfast, went to school, came home, did my homework, had dinner, spent time with the family, and went to bed. I never felt so good in my life. Things were finally starting to look up for me. Which brings me to today, Friday, a few days after I first starting living with Emmy.

I got off the bus, went on the second one, and sat by myself while only a few kids stared at me this time. I think my newbie effect is slowly wearing off. That’s good. I got to school and went to my locker. A few minutes later, Anthony rushed up to my side. He looked panicked and like he was in a hurry.

“Listen, Shawn, dude. We have a problem here.”

“What is it?”

“Well, you know how I’ve been coming to see how you were doing these past couple of days, practically the past week?”

“Yeah...”

“Well my mom is starting to think that I’m doing more than just visiting you.” With this, he lowered his voice. “She thinks that while I was visiting you in the hospital, I was giving you ‘oral sex’. She thinks we’re going all out whenever I visit you at Aunt Emmy’s. Dude, she thinks we’re a couple. She thinks I’m gay!”

“But we aren’t doing any of that.”

I had to laugh internally. Anthony was afraid of his mom finding out the truth about him, even though he himself didn’t think that the truth was the truth.

“I know! I tried telling her that, but she won’t believe me, dude. And it’s not just her. Some of my friends and even a few strangers have come up to me and asked me how I got you to become my sex slave! They ask why I’m using you and not some bimbo cheerleader.”

Now I was laughing, but not too loudly.

“Shawn! This is not funny! Practically half the school thinks that we’re a gay couple!”

“But no one’s beaten you up yet. You still have all your friends, right?”

“That’s because right now they think that I’m using you for sex. That is, for some reason, cool. If it were something else, like a romantic relationship, then I would start losing everything I have, dude.”

“Anthony, don’t you think that you’re blowing this way out of proportion?”

“NO! This is how high school works, Shawn! Only the best survive! Since you were so low on the totem pole, it didn’t really matter what you did; you couldn’t go any lower. But not me! I’m on the top, and I will NOT lose my place for something as stupid as a rumor! I don’t think that we should hang out anymore. We shouldn’t be so close to each other anymore. I really tried being your friend, and maybe we could still do something outside of school once in a while. But for now, while we’re in school, I think that it’s best that we go back to our bully and picked on roles. People will forget about us supposedly being fuck buddies after awhile. I’m sorry.”

“Anthony, we don’t have to do...”

“I said get your hands off me, you little shit!” Anthony yelled.

And then his fist collided with my face.