Black Star Cross - 35. Talk...with Popular Flair

Black Star Cross

Chapter 35: Talk...with Popular Flair

The phone rang twice before he picked up.

“Hello?” he said, sounding perfectly normal.

“Anthony?” I replied back, in a worried voice. “Are you alright? Did something happen? Do I need to get you or something?”

“What? No! Chill out, dude. What’s going on here? Why are you so worried all of a sudden?”

“It…it’s nothing,” I lied. “I just thought...something. It’s nothing. Really.”

“Well, whatever. I’m surprised you actually called, dude. Were you ignoring me or something? You only answered back when I texted you.”

“No, I was gone the entire day. My family and I went to the museum.”

“Oh, that’s cool, I guess.”

“Not really.”

Should I tell him about the two guys I saw there? Should I lie and say that they were obviously a couple, despite looking like jocks?

“I’m guessing that you don’t like museums, then?”

“That would be a ‘no,’ Anthony.”

We talked for a little while longer. I never brought up the two guys with him. It seemed that he was just lonely the entire day and wanted to talk to me. I’m sure that he could’ve just hung out with his friends. The ones he always claims to have, yet never sees.

Eventually, we said our goodbyes and hung up. I lay down on my bed, and felt suddenly sleepy. I curled up underneath my sheets and let sleep take me.

Anthony walks through the door. He jumps on top of the bed like a playful child, a small, joyous laugh to accompany it. However, his juvenile act breaks my slumber, but, upon seeing it to be Anthony, I don’t mind it. Without warning, he starts attacking my face with small, quick peck of the lips. All around my face he does this until he starts focusing on my own lips. I bring my hand around to the back of his head to ensure that he won’t get away.

He slides his hands underneath my shirt, rubbing my chest delicately. I slide my own hands underneath his shirt, rubbing his back muscles tenderly, almost like I’m giving him a massage. I bring my hands further up until I’m rubbing his shoulder muscles. They seem tense. I don’t know why. However, I do know that a more relaxed Anthony is a more compliant Anthony, for when things get even more heated. Our lips are still going at it.

He breaks the lip contact and starts to pull off my shirt, then he…

“Shawn! It’s time for dinner!” Mom’s voice rings.

‘What? Wait, what’s going on here?’ I think to myself. I then look around at my surroundings. Goddammit! She didn’t even wait until I was at the good part of the dream before she interrupted me! I was just getting into it! This is, like, the only time I can really have sex with Anthony without getting him drunk beforehand or worrying about him bailing out at the last minute again. And now I have a king-size hard-on to try and cover-up before going downstairs. How the hell am I going to do that?

Seeing as it wasn’t going to go down soon, and I needed to be downstairs soon, I reluctantly pulled on a pair of briefs under my jeans so that Shawn Jr. wouldn’t be as noticeable. And I can easily say that it felt VERY uncomfortable. I hope that Mom and Kim don’t notice my discomfort.

Luckily, neither one showed the apparently female-only gene of intuition at dinner. Table talk was about normal tonight. I think I might have contributed a word here or there. I didn’t stay for TV though. I don’t want them to give their hopes up or anything. Besides, I realized during dinner just why I don’t like briefs. Fucking constricting is what they are.

Mom had to work the next day, thank God! I don’t think I could handle another self-tormenting family mini-vacation. If we had went to the zoo, I would’ve thrown myself into the lions’ pit, covered head to toe in barbeque sauce. What a way to go.

Strangely enough, I half-expected Anthony to call the entire day. Probably to beg me to come over so that we can “hang out.” And by “hang out,” I mean “make out, and have hot gay sex on the couch while nobody’s home.” Though I’d have to convince Anthony on that last part. But he didn’t call at all. Maybe he was spending the day with Keith. Or some of his other friends. Or maybe he was working. Not that it matters to me. I could enjoy a peaceful day to myself every once in awhile. Which pretty much resulted in a really boring day for the rest of the day.

When I arrived at school on Monday, I saw something that sickened me to the bone. The entire school was plastered with pink and red hearts everywhere. And unfortunately, I mean the paper cutout kind, not the real ones from those whom I hate the most. Apparently, Valentine’s Day was coming up. No shit, how could they allow us to forget, with all this...pink everywhere. Had our school lost its balls?

There was even a heart on my locker, to which I ripped off disgustingly immediately. What the fuck? Are they trying to kill us with love? Out of the corner of my eye, I spied Keith coming up to me.

“Yo! What’s up? Where’s Anthony?”

“I don’t know.”

“Doesn’t he drive you to school, bro?”

“No,” I said, becoming irritated because I knew that I was about to be barraged by annoying questions.

“I would’ve thought that he’d at least drive you to school or something. Bro, don’t tell me he’s just in it for the sex.”

NOT a healthy alternative!

“Maybe he’s not doing anything special because you scared him away!” I snapped, being careful to keep my voice down. “Ever since you let on that you knew about our relationship, he’s been scared shitless to do anything! Add that onto this whole rumor thing going around about him, and I’m surprised he’s still acknowledging my existence. Right now, he’s too afraid of talking to you, too afraid to fucking run into you, because he thinks the worst will happen and that you’ll denounce your friendship with him because he’s gay!”

I was, by now, lowering my voice so that I was practically hissing at him.

“He was too afraid to go home on Friday because he thought you would be there to end your guys’ friendship. He probably thinks that you’ll tell the whole school about it as well. You see, Anthony’s a paranoid fuck, and when it comes to his sexuality, he gets even worse. Probably from hanging around you homophobic jocks and populars all the time, always reasserting your masculinity and straightness upon everybody else. He’s too afraid to act on any of his urges unless he is ABSOLUTELY SURE that no one else is around so that he can’t be caught. He’s too afraid that, even just kissing me, he’ll turn into some hip-swishing, limp wrist, lisp speaking, total bottom faggot!”

I paused to catch my breath and to let all that sink into Keith’s brain. At least it looked like he was seriously comprehending what I was saying.

“He’s seriously afraid of me?” he asked, quite genuinely it seemed.

“Yeah. Don’t expect him to be talking to you for awhile now.”

“That’s whack, bro. Dude, why would I hate him? We’ve been best buds since who-knows-how-long. As long as he’s still Anthony, I don’t care who he dates or fucks.”

“Well you might want to corner him and tell him that yourself, because until you do, he’s gonna be a small, scared little mouse around you.”

“Yeah. I should go find him now.”

As he turned to leave, I remembered something.

“Hey Keith.”

“What, bro?”

“What do Anthony’s other friends think about this rumor and all? From what Anthony tells me, they’re kinda avoiding him.”

“Simple high school survival techniques. They don’t want to be associated with someone who has rumors going about them, so they’re putting their distance between them and Anthony. Once the rumors go down, they’ll start acting friendly again.”

“Doesn’t seem much like friendship to me.”

“Yeah, well you’re not high up on the social status like we are. You just wouldn’t get it unless you were one of us.”

And with a fucking smile, he turned and left to go find Anthony before the first bell. And I swear, if I thought I could get away with it, I would go after him and beat him within an inch of his fucking life. Who the hell is he to say that I don’t know how the social hierarchy works in high school?! I know perfectly well how it works! I’m on bottom, they’re on top. They get all the benefits without having to earn them; I try my hardest and get nothing in return. I know fucking damn well how things work around here, shithead! I stormed off towards my classroom, not noticing whether or not Anthony was anywhere in the halls.

Surprisingly enough, he did show up just before the bell rung. He looked out of breath, like he had to race here just to be on time. Once class had begun, I turned to him.

“So where were you today?” I whispered.

“I was trying to find that Peter guy. Couldn’t find him, though,” he whispered back.

The teacher went off on some learning tirade, so we had to shut up and pay attention or miss out on stuff that’ll help us pass this class. Once class had ended, Anthony turned to me.

“I’m going to see if I can track that guy down,” he said simply, and booked it out of the classroom.

I just packed my stuff for the next class. The day went on as usual. I don’t know if Anthony ever caught up to that gay guy or not. In the class before lunch, I had the unusual urge to pee. I try not to ever use the school’s bathrooms, mainly because of all the STD-ridden students I’m sure this place houses on a daily basis. However, I guess I would have to make an exception this time.

As I was making my way towards the bathrooms, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Anthony turn the next corner. Just to satisfy my curiosity, I walked over to where I thought Anthony was. As I rounded the corner, I immediately hid back behind the corner, hoping that I wasn’t seen. Anthony seemed to have finally cornered Peter Lamb.

“Okay, like, you do you want?” said, whom I can only assume, Peter, who seemed to be using his Valley Girl speech more heavily now.

“Dude,” now THAT was Anthony talking. “I don’t know if you fucking know who I am or not, but I’m the guy who’s involved in this fucking rumor with you!”

“So you’re Anthony, then?”

“Damn right! And I don’t know what you’re telling people about me, but it stops now! I’m not gay, I’m not sleeping around with you, and I’m definitely not having sex with you!”

“What makes you think that I’m the one saying those things, hun? I’m just as surprised as you are that they coupled us like this.”

“They?”

I heard a sigh. “The students here? All these girls wanting hot, juicy gossip to spread? All those manly, hunky jocks that just love picking on somebody else? They’re the ones that’s spreading this around, love. I ain’t got nothing to do with it.”

God, could this guy be any more of a total flamer? How did people think he was straight up until now?

“Well...still,” stammered Anthony. “There’s no reason for me to get involved in your big ‘coming out’ celebration. So why don’t you just tell all your ‘girlfriends’ to stop including me in their rumors about you. Use somebody else! You have NO IDEA how badly this rumor is hurting me. The guys don’t want to be near me. Most of my FRIENDS are abandoning me now!”

“Well they don’t sound too much like friends now, do they?”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!” Anthony yelled. It startled all of us, I’m sure. I hope teachers hadn’t heard it.

“I’m sorry,” said Anthony. “I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just...(sigh), not the first time I’ve heard that.”

There was silence for several seconds. I thought I had been discovered because the silence was so long. I was about to come out with my hands up when Anthony started speaking again.

“Look, just...tell people to stop talking about me, okay? Please. I think they’re more likely to listen to you than me right now.”

He sounded so defeated, like he was about to give up, or get on his knees and beg.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Peter replied back. “I can’t guarantee anything; I’m part of that rumor too, you know.”

“Thanks.”

Then I heard footsteps. They must be done talking. I had to hide! Anthony would KILL me if he knew that I eavesdropped on their conversation! I quickly, and silently, hid inside the bathroom, darting into one of the stalls. To make it more convincing, I immediately started taking a piss in the toilet (after I had fished out Shawn Jr., of course). After I was done, I washed my hands to stall for more time and left casually. I headed back for my class, hoping the teacher wouldn’t ask why I was gone so long.

At lunch, Anthony was still attempting to sit at the jocks’ table. They let him in, but they didn’t do it as warmly as they had before the rumor got spread. I could tell that Anthony was desperately trying to get back into their good graces, and I could see Keith attempting to do some more damage control over there as well. Anthony seemed to be noticing that Keith wasn’t spilling anything to the other guys. Hopefully he’s bright enough to figure out that Keith will keep his, our, secret. I’m guessing that if Keith already talked to Anthony, that would help, too. Anthony said something to Keith, Keith nodded and started making his way over to my table. Before he could even get a word out, I intercepted him.

“You know, Anthony telling you something, and then you coming over here and telling me something, is the exact same thing as him coming over here and saying it to me himself. I don’t have the ‘gay disease,’ I swear.”

“Yo, no need to get bitchy with me, bro. It’s like I said earlier. You don’t know how it works on the top rung of the ladder. Trust me, Anthony knows what he’s doing.”

“And that’s another thing! I do too know how this system works. I know where MY place is, I know where Anthony’s place is. I know what it means to be on top, to be popular.”

“Yeah, you may know what it means, but you don’t know what it feels like. No offense or anything bro, but you don’t know nothing about what we feel about all this. Some of us like it. We like having all the fame and popularity, and can handle it pretty well. Some of us...don’t. We hate being in the spotlight all the time. We hate always having to keep a rep of whatever it is we’re supposed to be. It’s like being on a reality show. No privacy, bro. Me, personally, I don’t give two shits. I ain’t on the uber tier with the rest of them, so focus generally isn’t on me. But, let’s take Brett for an example. And you gotta promise me that you don’t breathe a word to this to anybody, including Anthony, okay?”

I nodded.

“Okay. Remember, you promised. So with Brett, you know that he’s a big time football star, right? And he occasionally hosts those wild parties I’m sure you’ve never been invited to because you’re not popular. And it seems like he’s got a new girlfriend every month. Well,” and here is where he lowers his voice to a whisper. “Brett fucking hates it. If it were up to him, he’d be a nobody footballer, with nothing spectacular moves, easily forgettable, with a steady girlfriend whose more smart than pretty. Fuck, he’s had a crush on Pamela Stitt, that big time redhead nerd with an awesome rack, since forever, bro. And he wouldn’t have to put up with organizing party after party, knowing that any one of them could be found out by the police or his parents, and he’d get in trouble for something he’s, quite frankly, not all that into. Little known fact, he’s got sensitive ears, bro. Loud music is, like, twice as loud to his ears. So he doesn’t like doing parties too much unless he can get away from the noise.”

“But he can’t,” he continued. “Nobody goes from popular to nothing, or less than nothing, gracefully. Once you’re popular, you can’t get out unless you want to be ridiculed by everyone you thought was your friend for the remainder of the school year AT LEAST. So he HAS to continue his harsh football workouts, even though he wants to major in archeology in college. He HAS to dump potential girlfriends he knew he never really wanted in the first place on a regular basis, rather than ask out somebody he might actually get a genuine boner for. He HAS to set up a party by the end of the month, even though it almost physically hurts him to make one. He’s trapped.”

I just sat there, trying to soak it all in.

“Now I don’t know which side Anthony is on. Whether he likes his popularity or not. That, you’re gonna have to ask him yourself, bro. But it’s like I said. You may know what being popular ‘means,’ but you haven’t got a clue how it ‘feels.’”

“Dude, what’s taking so long?” came a familiar voice. Anthony was walking towards us.