Black Star Cross - 21. Cold Breakfast; Uneasy Lunch; Dinner For Two

Black Star Cross

Chapter 21: Cold Breakfast; Uneasy Lunch; Dinner For Two

When I woke up later on that day, the first thing I noticed was that Anthony wasn’t there next to me. Had I been dreaming this entire time? I glanced over at the clock to see that it’s been three hours since I had “supposedly” gone to sleep with him. I turned back around, ready to go back to sleep again, when I noticed a note next to the spare pillow. I picked it up and immediately recognized Anthony’s handwriting.

‘Hey. Got up early. Went home. Didn’t want to wake you. Have work today. Call me around 5.’

That’s it? No “I love you”s or “Thanks for comforting me in my time of need”s? He didn’t even bother to put mine or his name on it. He really knows how to get to the point. Short and simple, I guess.

I rolled back over, again readying myself for more sleep, when it finally all came rushing at me. Anthony kissed me. HE kissed ME! We slept together! I’m pretty sure we spooned too! WE’RE BOYFRIENDS NOW! WE’RE FREAKIN’ TOGETHER!

“Anthony’s my boyfriend,” I mumbled to myself, whilst a big, stupid grin was plastered on my face. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy before in my life. I was just about ready to fall asleep (for real this time!), when I heard a knocking at my door.

“Yeah?” I said, groggily.

“Get up and get dressed, please,” came Emmy’s voice. “My son, Jerry, is here. I’d like you to meet him.”

‘When did he get here?’

Oh well. I managed to roll out of my bed and throw a shirt on, seeing as how I already had pants on when I invited my BOYFRIEND up here. I am NOT going to get tired of saying that anytime soon! Needless to say, I left my room with the same silly grin on my face. I had to make sure to keep it under control before showing my face to everybody downstairs. By the time I had gotten to the kitchen, I had managed to mostly suppress it.

Jerry seemed like an okay guy. He looked to be in his late 40s, dressed up nice for the occasion, which was a lot better than I had done, and seemed to be both professional and casual at the same time. Then he saw me. I swear that he gave me the look of pity and I automatically took back everything I thought about him. He gave a courtesy nod to me, which I gave an obligatory nod back to him. I guess that Emmy could sense the tension between us, because she went straight into another conversation with Jerry. She tried to get me to contribute to the conversation, but all I gave were one-word answers. After I finished breakfast, I asked politely if I could be excused. Knowing that there would only be more uncomfortable tension in the air if I stayed, Emmy said that I could leave.

I went back upstairs and crashed in my room. I definitely didn’t like that Jerry guy. He saw me as nothing but a street rat! Like I was begging for change while wearing tattered clothes on the streets when Emmy saw me and took pity on me, like one would do for a stray dog. I’m not some white-trash kid!

I sighed to myself and tried to forget about the whole thing. Hopefully he’ll only be here for today and will be back on that plane tomorrow. ‘I guess I’d better start doing some of my homework,’ I thought. I did as such, but not without constantly looking at the clock, seeing how long it was until 5 o’clock.

Around noon, Emmy came into my room and sat down on my bed. ’Uh-oh,’ I thought. ‘This can’t be good.’

“Jerry’s already left for the day,” she began.

‘Oh man. That means that he’ll be back tomorrow.’

“Why were you so cold to him this morning?”

“Didn’t you notice him reacting the same way at me?” I fired back.

“Yes, actually, I did. And I asked him about that.”

“And what did he say?”

“He said that...” and then she stopped.

“He said that I was some street child, didn’t he?” I answered, more than questioned. “Did he ask why you would pick some kid up off the streets and bring him into your nice home too? Exposing something like me to your grandkids?”

“Now stop that, Shawn! He didn’t say anything of the like. He’s just worried about you. Worried that you miss home too much, or aren’t comfortable here.”

That was a bunch of bullshit, and we both knew it. Worried my ass. He just wants to make sure that I didn’t carry some disease into this house.

“Well I’m doing just fine here, and I don’t miss home too much,” I said, with a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

Luckily, Emmy just let the subject drop for now and left the room. An hour later, I was starving and went downstairs for lunch. I fixed myself a sandwich and planned to sit in front of the TV for the next hour or so until I could call Anthony. As soon as I had sat down and made myself comfortable, the phone rang. Unfortunately, the phone was on the other side of the room. I cursed it, none too silently I might add, and got up to answer it. I was really hoping for it to be a salesperson so that I could yell at him for making me get up or something.

“Hello?” I said.

“Shawn?” came the other voice.

‘That’s strange,’ I thought. ‘Who would know that I was living here? Or for that matter, who even knows my voice on the phone?’

“Yeah, who is this?” I questioned.

“Hey man, it’s Keith!” he said, with a little more energy than before.

Okay...so why is Keith calling here?

“Hey. What’s up?” I asked, hesitantly.

“Did you happen to see Anthony today?”

I was glad that we were talking over the phone, because if not, he would’ve seen my eyes start bulging out of my head. What the fuck? Was he watching us when we were making out or something?

“Um, no, I didn’t.”

“Hmm. ‘Cause I tried calling him this morning around seven to see if he wanted to shoot some hoops at the park before it got busy, but nobody answered. He usually does if he’s home. I know that he requested time off at his work, but I think that he starts going back today. He’s a painter; did you know that? Not like a professional, Da Vinci-like painter, but the kind of guy that paints the walls of your bathroom, you know? I guess that they must’ve called him in early today. Bummer, I’ve got nothing to do for the rest of the day. Oh well. I’ll go ask somebody else; see what they’re up to. Okay man, I’ll see you in school. See ya.”

“See ya,” I repeated before the phone line went dead.

Man, what a talker. I hardly got, what, ten words in? And he practically recited a speech about Anthony, most of which I already knew about. But a question arose in my brain. Why would Keith call me to see where Anthony was at? Surely Anthony must have other friends that Keith could’ve called. Why did he think of me in the first place? Was I the first person he called? Okay, so it was more than just a question that came to my head.

As I sat in front of the TV, munching away at my sandwich, I started thinking. Maybe Keith already knows about us. Maybe he can see the way that we act around each other. Maybe he just has a really good “gaydar.” You would need one to pinpoint us two. Then another reason came to mind. Maybe Anthony told him? Keith seems like a good guy. Maybe Anthony started telling him how he was feeling when he couldn’t come to me.

‘Nah,’ I thought. ‘He’s WAY too closeted to even admit it to himself, much less anybody else. Even if it IS Keith. I wonder if we’re obvious to anybody else, though?’

I tried to think of how we acted around each other in school for the past week or so. I don’t remember us acting really different towards each other. It wasn’t like we were suddenly holding hands in the hallway or walking each other to a class the other didn’t have. But then again, we weren’t officially a “couple” back then either. I wonder if he’ll start doing those things now?

I had to laugh out loud at that last thought. There’s no way he’d do that, even if he had a gun held to his head. Anthony’s not the kind of guy to show PDAs with anyone, even a girl, I’d imagine.

Finally, after another agonizing four hours, it was five o’clock. I could finally call Anthony! At five o’clock sharp, I took out my cell phone and went to punch in Anthony’s number, when I remembered that I didn’t even know his number! Dammit! He never gave it to me. I couldn’t look it up in the phone book because: A). I didn’t know where it was, and B). I didn’t know how to spell his last name (as there were variations on how to spell it); that, and I didn’t know what street he lived on. So now I have to sit here, hoping that he’ll get a clue and call me.

Well, that didn’t happen immediately, like I had hoped. I was getting tired of sitting next to the phone, waiting for it to ring, feeling A LOT like some giddy school girl. I wasn’t going to wait for him forever. But I was willing to wait for “just a bit longer,” I kept telling myself.

It wasn’t until forty-five minutes later that the phone rang. I picked it up before it even got done with the first ring; then realized how pathetic that looked.

“Hello?” I said, trying to mask my hopefulness.

“Dude, what happened?” came Anthony’s voice. “I told you to call at five. I figured you’d start calling at four.”

“Ha ha,” I replied sarcastically. “For your information, YOU never gave me your number. I couldn’t call you.”

“Oh...whoops. Sorry, dude. But hey, I’ve been…uh…really thinking about…you…all day. It sucks that I had to work though. I guess I should’ve told you about that, huh?”

“Yeah. But I don’t remember you ever talking about a job before.”

“Dude, don’t you remember? The reason why I came over to your house that first time?”

I tried to think back that far, but nothing was coming up. I remember the fight, the storm, our talk, but nothing about a job.

“I was supposed to paint your house, remember?”

“Oh yeah, that!” I exclaimed. I had totally forgotten about that. “I remember now. You never talk about it. Did you quit or something?”

“Nah. I just took some vacation time and combined it with my holiday season off. But I really need the money again, so I’m back to painting. I think the last house I did before going on break was your house. Oh! That reminds me. Um, would you like to, um...” he starting mumbling and hesitating.

“What? I can’t hear you, Anthony.”

He sighed audibly over the phone.

“Would you like to come over here tonight, for dinner, or something?” he finally managed to say.

He couldn’t see it, and I was glad that he didn’t, but my eyes flew open, my jaw dropped before turning into an open-mouthed smile, and I literally stopped breathing. It took me a second to recompose myself. I can’t believe that he just said that! He’s inviting me over for dinner?! Wait, did he tell his mom about me? About us? Is she okay with this?

“It’s okay. You don’t have to come. I just...”

“NO! I mean, I’ll go! Um, yeah. I just...I didn’t expect you to say that. Not so quickly after we...you know. Um, does your mom know about this?”

“Yeah, we talked about it. I brought the topic up. She seemed okay with it.”

Wow. His mom is a better one than mine. She’s already accepted him. Mine doesn’t even live with me anymore.

“That’s cool. So, when should I come over?”

“We usually eat dinner late, so around seven?” he asked, more than said.

“Seven sounds good to me,” Then I lowered my voice. “But I’d rather be over there right now, with you and me, on your bed...”

I could tell that he was getting flustered over my flirting on the other end.

“Um, yeah. Me too. I guess,” he stumbled.

“What? Would you rather do it in the bathroom?” I continued.

“Shawn!” he hissed. “You don’t know who could be listening in on us! And I don’t WANT to do anything with you right now, okay?! This morning was fine and all, but that’s taking it too far!”

I was a little put off by Anthony’s little spout, but I could see where he’s coming from. He’s still not that used to being with a guy. He’s probably paranoid out of his mind right now. At least he has his mom on his side. It’s like I’m meeting the parents, or parent in this case, of my new boyfriend. That’s kinda romantic, right?

“I’m sorry, okay?” I apologized. “I was just kidding around, that’s all. Look, I’ll be there at seven, alright? We’ll have a good time.”

“Yeah, yeah. Look, I gotta go now. I’m helping out around the house. I’ll see you when you get here. ‘Kay?”

“Okay.”

“Later, dude.”

“Seeya.”

We hung up the phone. Jeez, what is Anthony ON? I swear, he has to have bipolar disorder or something, with the way that his moods keep swinging back and forth. But besides that, I HAVE A DATE WITH ANTHONY!!! Oh my God, what should I wear? I’d go only in my underwear, but I don’t think that his mom would appreciate that too much. But I’m trying to impress Anthony here, not his mom! Screw his mom! Dude (I can’t believe I just said that), I’ve never been on a date before. Is it even a date? I’m just being formally introduced to his mom as his boyfriend. Is this a casual or formal dress-up thing? Arrgh! I’m so lost!

I spent the better part of the next hour trying to decide on what I should wear to the dinner. It wasn’t until it was almost time to leave that I remembered two things. First, I forgot to tell Emmy that I was going over to Anthony’s for dinner. I prayed that she would let me with such short notice as I raced downstairs to tell her. She said that I could go, but to call her in case I decided to sleep over tonight. ‘Weird,’ I thought. We’re not little children anymore. Big kids don’t do “sleepovers.” Why would she think that we’re going to?

The second thing I noticed was how much thought I was putting into this. Now that I think about it, a month ago, I would’ve cared shit about something as trivial as how I looked. Especially how I looked to others. I didn’t care about what others felt towards or about me. Now I’m going into a seizure trying to decide if Anthony likes me better in blue or red. I think I honestly thought about brushing my hair! Was I thinking too much into this? Or am I being tamed by Anthony? How much had I changed in the past month? Would I even be able to recognize myself if someone told me about how I used to be? I hope I don’t start taking a liking to wearing underwear. I like it when Shawn Jr. feels an occasional breeze. It gets stuffy in there, I know.

I decided to dwell on those thoughts later and concentrate, but less seriously, on getting ready for our date. Emmy offered to drive me to Anthony’s place, and while I turned down the offer at first, she was insistent, so I let her drive me there. I really need to get my license and car someday. When we arrived at his house, I thanked her quickly and got out of the car, telling her that I’d call if anything came up. I didn’t plan on anything happening either way, but I told her nonetheless. I had gotten my senses back under control, so I knew that things were going to be relatively under control. It would be an act of God if Anthony and I could have sex in his room tonight.

I went up to his door and rang the doorbell. Almost immediately, I could hear loud footsteps clomping down the stairs and towards the door. I don’t think he even used all stairs! Anthony opened the door and formed a big smile on his face. I could tell that he was just as excited to see me as I was to see him. Elated, I leaned in to kiss him; but he backed away just as quickly. His look of happiness changed into one of...fear?

“No,” he said, barely above a whisper. “I can’t.”