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Just trying to get through the day

comicfan

Entry posted by comicfan

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March is a rough month. That sounds odd I know, but I will explain.

 

Growing up the month of March was something my family knew would be busy and fun. March held two big events for my family - my mother's birthday and my parent's anniversary. These things were something that my family knew would start and finish major events.

 

Today is March 10th and my mother would have been 74 today. My father and I have sort of avoided talking about it because neither of us wants to break down again. It is amazing how you become use to someone just being there day in and out, until they aren't. Time passes, it eases a bit, but certain days or events will drive it home again. I think a part of the problem is I am alone so I can't confide and turn to my own partner to share things with. I am the rock others turn to.

 

Their anniversary is in a few days. In between I know we will take a trip out to the national cemetery to lay flowers on her grave. Their time to celebrate always ended with St. Patrick's Day. It is usually why I am quick to send all my friends cards for that. Unfortunately this year I have had a hard time just keeping up period when it comes to events.

 

I have been focused on my writing and trying to keep myself from saying or doing things wrong. Seems I have upset some people, but didn't realize it. So just taking some time to myself and sorry if I am being a bit standoffish. Just dealing with things the best I can. Even as I write this I have someone asking that I help them with something they are going through, and I find I can't tell them no. Eventually, I will have to find someone I can lean on, or else I am going to fall apart one day and doubt the pieces will be put back together.

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Aaron Penrose

Aaron Penrose 142

Posted

You say you have no one to lean on, but you do have the GA community, no? :) I don't know you well, but from one soul struggling beneath the weight of the world to another, I hope things improve for you. I am lucky and young enough to never have had to deal with the pain of losing a parent, but I imagine it's awful. *hugs*

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Valkyrie

Valkyrie 109,932

Posted

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I'm sorry you're going through all this.  You are not alone in feeling loss so acutely.  Holidays and traditions aren't the same with the loss of loved ones, that's for sure.  I felt that loss very much this Christmas since my family fell apart, so I can relate on some level.  I also know the pain of loneliness and it sucks big time.  I am a very insular person and can find it difficult to open up to people, but I found that counseling helped me immensely when I experienced the loss of two very important people in my life.  Keep writing and getting those emotions out.  You'll get through this and Aaron is right. I may be new here, but I can see how much people here care about you.  Hugs and I hope you feel better soon. 

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Palantir

Palantir 10,616

Posted

Keep going Wayne. I know you will.

Being a rock for others is a foundation of who you are and in a way gives you a base to draw on in times of your own need.

Keep searching for answers, and especially, look for someone you can confide with.

Best wishes!

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Aditus

Aditus 28,741

Posted

This community is great, but sometimes you need a real touch, a real hug. All I can do is wishing with all my heart that you'll find them eventually. Until then an e-hug might help. :)

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joann414

joann414 4,131

Posted

I don't have to tell you what a wonderful friend you've been and are to me.  You know I'm always here if you need someone to talk to.  But, I know talking with me is not like having someone there for you at all times when you need them.

You're an easy person to talk to and I'm sure that's why people come to you.  It's because you're such a good and giving person.  We're not going to please everyone at all times, so you can't dwell on that.  I know losing parents is hard.  I've lost both.  Their birthdays and anniversary were special days, but as you know, I'm a Christmas idiot, and I got it from them.  We had a large family and my parents made Christmas into a huge celebration,  It wasn't all about gifts, but enjoying other members of our family, cooking, and the togetherness you feel then that you don't feel throughout the year.

So, yeah, it's hard, especially the visit to you mom's graveside.  You'll be strong because you know your dad needs you.  Sending hugs and strength you way.

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K.C.

K.C. 6,408

Posted

:hug:

rustle

rustle 2,426

Posted

Sometimes, encouraging others gives us the ability to overcome discouragement. And sometimes, we just need a another hand in our own. I hope the one suffices until you find the other. Until then, you have us.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPoTGyWT0Cg

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