MikeL Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 (edited) Chapter 13 Thankfully, Brandon does the right thing. He is clearly more mature than Jon and Eric. Great chapter, CJ. Hope you have an awesome trip. We all eagerly await your return and the next installment. Edited October 16, 2007 by MikeL
Benji Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 ..........Yea!!! I knew Helen would rescue Brandon from Charity's scheme, somehow I don't think this band would go far without her, Hummm!! Maybe even CJ might have trouble finishing these chapters without her?? However, Brandon is already outed in Phoenix, even with the name change, but can they keep Chase out of it? Didn't anyone ever tell Dimitri that in real estate, location....location ....location!!!! Have an awesome trip CJ, we will miss you!!
Conner Posted October 16, 2007 Posted October 16, 2007 Brandon's my hero. What Jon and Eric had asked him to do was just incredible. Brandon handled the situation extremely well. Jon and Eric have a severe maturity issue. I love Helen's style. :2hands: Looks like we're going to have to wait for Chase's birthday before we get anything more than this kissy-face stuff. I'm gonna be ringside for that. Charity is a great name for our vixen. She likes to give it away. I don't think we've seen the last of her either. I'm thinking she might try to connect with the other 2 women who were with her that night. So a new element of risk has been added to to the Kaboom plot. Iron oxide and plutonium don't mix well. Dimitri has a short fuse. I was sure he was going to make the engineer do a face plant in the red dirt. I'm really looking forward to the Phoenix concert.....if we ever get there, that is. Good job, CJ. Conner
bizzymom38 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 thank you Thank you ......... for another wonderful chapter......... I laughed and got mad..... and then laughed again...... Your a master hugs and hershey's kisses Susan
shadowfire Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Hmm, very happy that Brandon did the right thing here. My mind kept conjuring up all the worst case scenarios Have a good time while your away CJ!
Rabble_Rouser Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Poor Brandon!!! Every time he thinks things are finally going smooth, a certain goat-who-must-not-be-named, throws a twist in that only causes Brandon more anquish. It's hard to believe after the last few chapters that Eric & Jon are the older brothers! Steve
woody Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Excellent chapter CJ gogo Chase and Brandon, Helen again shows she is definitely a force to be reckoned with I still want to kick Jon's and Eric's butts though :2hands:
AFriendlyFace Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Great chapter! It definitely didn't go as I'd expected! I'm looking forward to seeing what comes next!
C James Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Chapter 13 Thankfully, Brandon does the right thing. He is clearly more mature than Jon and Eric. Great chapter, CJ. Hope you have an awesome trip. We all eagerly await your return and the next installment. Thanks Mike!!! There will be at least one and maybe two chapters posted while I'm gone. I also hope to be able to log in occasionally, but that will be infrequently at best. ..........Yea!!! I knew Helen would rescue Brandon from Charity's scheme, somehow I don't think this band would go far without her, Hummm!! Maybe even CJ might have trouble finishing these chapters without her?? However, Brandon is already outed in Phoenix, even with the name change, but can they keep Chase out of it? Didn't anyone ever tell Dimitri that in real estate, location....location ....location!!!! Have an awesome trip CJ, we will miss you!! Hi Benji!! Agreed about Dimitri... They picked the location for other reasons, but the red dust is a major issue they didn't anticipate. I've seen layers of reddish-pink in the ice of New Zealand Glaciers, and that dust has blown all the way from Australia, so it is pervasive, and very fine. At least Brandon didn't go with Helen's tounge-in-cheek plan a: Jon and Eric's dead bodies splattered all over the hotel halway. Brandon's my hero. What Jon and Eric had asked him to do was just incredible. Brandon handled the situation extremely well. Jon and Eric have a severe maturity issue. I love Helen's style. :2hands: Looks like we're going to have to wait for Chase's birthday before we get anything more than this kissy-face stuff. I'm gonna be ringside for that. Charity is a great name for our vixen. She likes to give it away. I don't think we've seen the last of her either. I'm thinking she might try to connect with the other 2 women who were with her that night. So a new element of risk has been added to to the Kaboom plot. Iron oxide and plutonium don't mix well. Dimitri has a short fuse. I was sure he was going to make the engineer do a face plant in the red dirt. I'm really looking forward to the Phoenix concert.....if we ever get there, that is. Good job, CJ. Conner Thanks Goat-buddy!! The iron-oxide will be a headache... it contains oxygen, which with Plutonium being a flammable metal is a very bad thing. LoL Dimitri does have a bit of a short fuse... But nobody's perfect. I've known plenty of lovable people with short fuses. The other two girls were Charity's friends, BTW, so there wouldn't be much to do to try and connect with them. At least Chase and Brandon are sleeping in the same bed now. Hrmmm, two hot and hormone-raging teens, with strong feelings for each other, sleeping in the same bed. What could possibly happen?
C James Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 thank you Thank you ......... for another wonderful chapter......... I laughed and got mad..... and then laughed again...... Your a master hugs and hershey's kisses Susan Thank you Susan!!! And Hmm, very happy that Brandon did the right thing here. My mind kept conjuring up all the worst case scenarios Have a good time while your away CJ! Thanks!! What I was trying to show was Brandon instinctively turning to Chase... He didn't hesitate. And Chase noticed that. Poor Brandon!!! Every time he thinks things are finally going smooth, a certain goat-who-must-not-be-named, throws a twist in that only causes Brandon more anquish. It's hard to believe after the last few chapters that Eric & Jon are the older brothers! Steve Hi Steve!! The Goat-who-must-not-be-named? ROFL! I guess if you don';t name me, I don't have an excuse to mention that I never throw in troublesome twists.. Very good point on Jon and Eric being the older brothers; I was hoping that would be noticed. part of what's happening here is everyone in the story is growing and learning. They may be older, but they're still old enough to make some major blunders. They were desperate becuase they'd fouled up in a massive way, and grasped at straws when they thought there was a way out. But inter-personal relationships, such as that between Brandon and Eric and Jon, often have bumps, and sometimes those can make the relationship stronger in the end. Excellent chapter CJgogo Chase and Brandon, Helen again shows she is definitely a force to be reckoned with I still want to kick Jon's and Eric's butts though :2hands: Hi Woody!! Chase wanted to do the same thing. LoL. One thing to keep in mind; Jon and Eric sure screwed up, but it wasn't malicious. Of course, had Brandon taken their "advice", things would not have gone well for anyone. LoL Great chapter! It definitely didn't go as I'd expected! I'm looking forward to seeing what comes next! Thanks Kevin!! Now, that
EMoe57 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 How fortuitous that CJ's trip precedes the band's tour. Going to scout locations, CJ?
MikeL Posted October 17, 2007 Author Posted October 17, 2007 There will be at least one and maybe two chapters posted while I'm gone. I also hope to be able to log in occasionally, but that will be infrequently at best. The other two girls were Charity's friends, BTW, so there wouldn't be much to do to try and connect with them. Hooray! Thanks, CJ, for planning ahead and keeping us involved in the story while you are gone. I am enjoying it very much. I hope we have seen the last of the vestal "virgins".
Rabble_Rouser Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 I'm eagerly waiting for the Pheonix concert as I figure CJ has a good opportunity to create some conflict but adding a warmup band with a member who knows about Brandon and already has it in for him only adds to the mix. Another reason I say "poor Brandon". Steve
Site Moderator TalonRider Posted October 17, 2007 Site Moderator Posted October 17, 2007 And did you notice how Shadow snuck into this chapter. And that only one member of that band is from California. And there's always that possibility that the other guy may not recognize Brandon right away. Add into that, Brandon is not using his real last name as a member of Instinct. I guess it all depends on how well the other guy new Brandon back in Phoenix. If it was up to me, I don't think I'd let Eric and Jon off the hook quite so easily. Within a 24 hour period, they've really screwed things up royally. In either case, they weren't thinking with the right head. And CJ, to insure a timely posting while your gone, you can send the chapters to me and I'll submit them for you. And I promise not to sink my talon into the ahead of time. Jan
Site Administrator wildone Posted October 17, 2007 Site Administrator Posted October 17, 2007 CJ, Loved the chapter. I agree with Ieshwar, what really made it one of the best is that there was no cliffie. Unfortunately, does this mean we will pay with one in the next chapter up to LiS26 standards?? A couple of things really made me chuckle.... Chase returned, heading for his closet wearing a towel, tossing Brandon a clean pair of blue running shorts, a color Brandon thought was quite appropriate, under the circumstances. Poor Brandon. I know we have accused you of being many things in the past CJ, but this is only more proof that you are indeed a sadist to your characters . What eighteen year old could live with the "pressure" that your putting him under? "When in doubt, go do something f**king stupid," grumbled Chase, taking a seat to glare at his brothers as the conversation ended. I really liked this line, as it really sums up Jon and Eric's attitude of late and there seems to be no end in sight. One other thing that I noticed was the complete absence of The Scar. I have said in the past I've been intrigued by his character, as we don't know too much about him. Also, the reference to the "other" story was actually minimal this week. Is there a reason for this? (never hurts to ask ). BTW, I think that exchange may have determined if Vladimir will be around after he is done making the bombs. As far as Zeke goes, I think we might be surprised about how he reacts to Brandon being the lead in Instinct. I have my suspicions, but it seems that Helen hasn't been wrong yet, right? Lastly, in case I don't post before the weekend, have a great vacation CJ . Enjoy yourself, don't worry about a schedule, and check out some locales for the boys to tour. We will patiently wait for your next posting. Steve
C James Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 Hooray! Thanks, CJ, for planning ahead and keeping us involved in the story while you are gone. I am enjoying it very much. I hope we have seen the last of the vestal "virgins". Thanks! I'll try and pop in to the forum as well, it just won't be often, and I'll only be able to answer a few posts. I'm eagerly waiting for the Pheonix concert as I figure CJ has a good opportunity to create some conflict but adding a warmup band with a member who knows about Brandon and already has it in for him only adds to the mix. Another reason I say "poor Brandon". Steve The member of the warmup band knowing Brandon (A brother of a former friend of Brandon's) was actually something I was nervous about; it's a bit of a stretch on the believability side that Brandon would just happen to have met someone who is in their opening act band. I finally decided to go with it becuase Brandon was into the music scene in Phoenix, so I thought it might be plausable that one of Brandon's friends could have a brother who made it into a fairly new band that's starting out. And did you notice how Shadow snuck into this chapter. And that only one member of that band is from California. And there's always that possibility that the other guy may not recognize Brandon right away. Add into that, Brandon is not using his real last name as a member of Instinct. I guess it all depends on how well the other guy new Brandon back in Phoenix. If it was up to me, I don't think I'd let Eric and Jon off the hook quite so easily. Within a 24 hour period, they've really screwed things up royally. In either case, they weren't thinking with the right head. And CJ, to insure a timely posting while your gone, you can send the chapters to me and I'll submit them for you. And I promise not to sink my talon into the ahead of time. Jan Yes, a band called "the Shadows," who are described as weird... and mostly from Los Angeles. I'm sure it's just a coincidence. And who says Jon and Eric are entirely off the hook? Brandon said... Let
EMoe57 Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 There are clues to what he's really up to in the posted chapters... I'll give a further hint: One huge clue is mentioned while The Scar is in South America. Can you say "King of a small country"? But what the heck do the nukes have to do with that! No CJ, I don't expect an answer...
Site Administrator Graeme Posted October 17, 2007 Site Administrator Posted October 17, 2007 Looks like we're going to have to wait for Chase's birthday before we get anything more than this kissy-face stuff. I'm gonna be ringside for that. The boys have said they won't be waiting for Chase's birthday -- though it'll only be a few days before that event. The bad news is... I don't think they're selling tickets for that particular event so you're going to have to work hard to get ringside. I'm eagerly waiting for the Pheonix concert as I figure CJ has a good opportunity to create some conflict but adding a warmup band with a member who knows about Brandon and already has it in for him only adds to the mix. Another reason I say "poor Brandon". Actually, all we know is that Zeke's brother turned on Brandon. We don't know what sort of relationship Zeke has with his brother. It could be that Zeke hates his brother and will become friends with Brandon just to spite his brother (leaving aside the other music-related reasons for staying on Brandon's good side). Also, while Brandon knows enough about Zeke to know the name of the band he plays for (played for? Maybe he's no longer in that band. Band line-ups change, after all), it isn't stated how well Brandon and Zeke's brother know each other. Do they know each other by sight? CJ -- yes, the coincidence is a stretch, but it's not one that disrupts the story. These things do happen from time to time. It's the total sum of the number of coincidences that stretches credibility to the limit and I don't think you're there yet. I'm assuming, like you have, that the music industry at that level is sufficiently small that it's not unusual for people to know each other. If The Shadows are a good enough band to play at an Instinct concert, then it isn't unusual for Brandon to know about them, especially if one of the members is from his home town. Brandon knowing Zeke is more likely than Zeke knowing Brandon as a consequence, unless Zeke knows Brandon through his brother. Equally, musicians tend to congregate and so Brandon getting to know Zeke's brother (who I'm guessing also has a musical interest) isn't odd. This sort of thing often runs in families so it's not as big a stretch as it may first seem. I enjoyed the chapter. The way they got out of the situation was Charity was good -- the same way they addressed the problem of Lump. I have to wonder, though, exactly how many blackmail check tapes/recordings Helen has.... They've made two new ones in only a couple of weeks.
Site Administrator Graeme Posted October 17, 2007 Site Administrator Posted October 17, 2007 I've just had a thought about something mentioned in this chapter: Jon and Eric were terrified of Helen. How long ago did the boys have their split with their family and how long has Helen been their manager? Jon and Eric would never admit it, but has Helen become their "mother" and hence they are scared of her disapproval? If they look at it dispassionately, she's employed by them, not the other way around so it doesn't make sense that they should be scared of her. She's very competent at what she does and I suspect there is a sense of loyalty to her because they realise she's been a big part of Instinct becoming successful, but the way they were scared of her didn't ring true if the relationship was just a business one. If she terrifies them (and she's not controlling in the sense of not letting them make their own decisions), it makes sense for them to look for a different manager. They aren't, so that implies there's more to the relationship than just business. Which leads into the subject of maturity. It honestly doesn't surprise me that Jon and Eric haven't been acting in a mature way. Maturity often comes as a result of the environment you are in, and the band has been in a very artificial environment for some time. With their appearances and actions managed by Helen, they haven't learnt to become mature -- they haven't been pushed out of their childhood properly (going from teenager to rock 'star' isn't a typical progression). Chase comes over more mature and I think that is partially because of what he went through when he came out. He was forced to grow up, just like Brandon was. Jon and Eric had some stress at that time, but not to the same degree, and their success as a rock band has shielded them from the normal worries and concerns that help people mature. As a general note, I've met some very mature sixteen-year-olds and some very immature twenty-five-year-olds, so Jon and Eric are just par for the course....
Benji Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I've just had a thought about something mentioned in this chapter: Jon and Eric were terrified of Helen. How long ago did the boys have their split with their family and how long has Helen been their manager? Jon and Eric would never admit it, but has Helen become their "mother" and hence they are scared of her disapproval? If they look at it dispassionately, she's employed by them, not the other way around so it doesn't make sense that they should be scared of her. She's very competent at what she does and I suspect there is a sense of loyalty to her because they realise she's been a big part of Instinct becoming successful, but the way they were scared of her didn't ring true if the relationship was just a business one. If she terrifies them (and she's not controlling in the sense of not letting them make their own decisions), it makes sense for them to look for a different manager. They aren't, so that implies there's more to the relationship than just business. Which leads into the subject of maturity. It honestly doesn't surprise me that Jon and Eric haven't been acting in a mature way. Maturity often comes as a result of the environment you are in, and the band has been in a very artificial environment for some time. With their appearances and actions managed by Helen, they haven't learnt to become mature -- they haven't been pushed out of their childhood properly (going from teenager to rock 'star' isn't a typical progression). Chase comes over more mature and I think that is partially because of what he went through when he came out. He was forced to grow up, just like Brandon was. Jon and Eric had some stress at that time, but not to the same degree, and their success as a rock band has shielded them from the normal worries and concerns that help people mature. As a general note, I've met some very mature sixteen-year-olds and some very immature twenty-five-year-olds, so Jon and Eric are just par for the course.... .......Yeah Helen's is definately part of the band, even though employed by Instinct, I don't see them operating very well without her. And there still that unresolved theft early on in the story, what became of that? Helen's been busy but she has got to be getting to the bottom of that. Jon and Eric immature, your right Graeme its par for the course!
C James Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Can you say "King of a small country"? But what the heck do the nukes have to do with that! No CJ, I don't expect an answer... You're right... I can't answer, otherwise the Echidna will turn me into a pincushion! The boys have said they won't be waiting for Chase's birthday -- though it'll only be a few days before that event. The bad news is... I don't think they're selling tickets for that particular event so you're going to have to work hard to get ringside. Actually, all we know is that Zeke's brother turned on Brandon. We don't know what sort of relationship Zeke has with his brother. It could be that Zeke hates his brother and will become friends with Brandon just to spite his brother (leaving aside the other music-related reasons for staying on Brandon's good side). Also, while Brandon knows enough about Zeke to know the name of the band he plays for (played for? Maybe he's no longer in that band. Band line-ups change, after all), it isn't stated how well Brandon and Zeke's brother know each other. Do they know each other by sight? CJ -- yes, the coincidence is a stretch, but it's not one that disrupts the story. These things do happen from time to time. It's the total sum of the number of coincidences that stretches credibility to the limit and I don't think you're there yet. I'm assuming, like you have, that the music industry at that level is sufficiently small that it's not unusual for people to know each other. If The Shadows are a good enough band to play at an Instinct concert, then it isn't unusual for Brandon to know about them, especially if one of the members is from his home town. Brandon knowing Zeke is more likely than Zeke knowing Brandon as a consequence, unless Zeke knows Brandon through his brother. Equally, musicians tend to congregate and so Brandon getting to know Zeke's brother (who I'm guessing also has a musical interest) isn't odd. This sort of thing often runs in families so it's not as big a stretch as it may first seem. I enjoyed the chapter. The way they got out of the situation was Charity was good -- the same way they addressed the problem of Lump. I have to wonder, though, exactly how many blackmail check tapes/recordings Helen has.... They've made two new ones in only a couple of weeks. Good points all! Brandon mentions that he's only met Zeke a couple of times, and Brandon thinks Zeke will recognize him. Beyond that, we don't know, yet. I've just had a thought about something mentioned in this chapter: Jon and Eric were terrified of Helen. How long ago did the boys have their split with their family and how long has Helen been their manager? Jon and Eric would never admit it, but has Helen become their "mother" and hence they are scared of her disapproval? If they look at it dispassionately, she's employed by them, not the other way around so it doesn't make sense that they should be scared of her. She's very competent at what she does and I suspect there is a sense of loyalty to her because they realise she's been a big part of Instinct becoming successful, but the way they were scared of her didn't ring true if the relationship was just a business one. If she terrifies them (and she's not controlling in the sense of not letting them make their own decisions), it makes sense for them to look for a different manager. They aren't, so that implies there's more to the relationship than just business. Which leads into the subject of maturity. It honestly doesn't surprise me that Jon and Eric haven't been acting in a mature way. Maturity often comes as a result of the environment you are in, and the band has been in a very artificial environment for some time. With their appearances and actions managed by Helen, they haven't learnt to become mature -- they haven't been pushed out of their childhood properly (going from teenager to rock 'star' isn't a typical progression). Chase comes over more mature and I think that is partially because of what he went through when he came out. He was forced to grow up, just like Brandon was. Jon and Eric had some stress at that time, but not to the same degree, and their success as a rock band has shielded them from the normal worries and concerns that help people mature. As a general note, I've met some very mature sixteen-year-olds and some very immature twenty-five-year-olds, so Jon and Eric are just par for the course.... A hole in one again Graeme! I was wondering if anyone would notice that... Helen is very much the mother figure, and its a two-way street. I'm not saying that any of them realize that yet, but it's very much something I've been trying to show. They've been parent-less for over a year, so Helen, who was already thier manager and also sympathetic on the gay issue, ended up becoming more than a manager. This is exacerbated by the immaturity and environment you mention; they're pretty isolated; this is why so many teen celebs fall apart in short order. I have to admit, Jon surprised me a little, as I'd always envisioned him as the level-headed one. And I know that sounds strange to the non-writers here, but it's true; characters often take turns that the writer never expects. One thing about the "mother relationship" we are seeing here... It's new, so like all new relationships, it will exeriance some growing pains. .......Yeah Helen's is definately part of the band, even though employed by Instinct, I don't see them operating very well without her. And there still that unresolved theft early on in the story, what became of that? Helen's been busy but she has got to be getting to the bottom of that. Jon and Eric immature, your right Graeme its par for the course! Hi Benji! The theft was mainly by Gabe, who is now charged with it, and with some involvment by Lump, who hasn't been charged. This will play a role later, and hasn't been forgotten. Thanks!!! CJ
Site Administrator Graeme Posted October 18, 2007 Site Administrator Posted October 18, 2007 I have to admit, Jon surprised me a little, as I'd always envisioned him as the level-headed one. And I know that sounds strange to the non-writers here, but it's true; characters often take turns that the writer never expects. That doesn't surprise me in the slightest Characters develop themselves as well as being developed by the writers. I've had it happen enough to know exactly what you are talking about.
AFriendlyFace Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 P.S 2 My 1000th post. CONGRATS, Ieshwar!! But inter-personal relationships, such as that between Brandon and Eric and Jon, often have bumps, and sometimes those can make the relationship stronger in the end. This is something very important to keep in mind! Thanks CJ Hooray! Thanks, CJ, for planning ahead and keeping us involved in the story while you are gone. I am enjoying it very much. I hope we have seen the last of the vestal "virgins". Dude! I love your new avatar!! .......Yeah Helen's is definately part of the band, even though employed by Instinct, I don't see them operating very well without her. Yuppers! In fact, now that I think about it, I think someone even put her in a poll... Take care and have a great day all! Kevin
C James Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 That doesn't surprise me in the slightest Characters develop themselves as well as being developed by the writers. I've had it happen enough to know exactly what you are talking about. Before I started writing, I'd see writers say things like this and think they were crazy... Yuppers! In fact, now that I think about it, I think someone even put her in a poll... You did indeed! She's one of my favorite characters. Okay, the good news is that thanks to special efforts by all our team, including a last-miniute job by Bondwriter today (Thank you Bondwriter!), there will be two chapters posted while I'm gone. The title of Chapter 14 is "Shop 'till you Drop" And been as I might not be around, I'll release the Ch 15 title too; "Changing of the Guard."
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