Sex Scenes and Storytelling

[Skyline]

Hey guys,

 

so basically I'm making this thread, because as you may or may not know, I'm in the process of writing a story. I've had the ideas in my head for this story for a while now, many years in fact, and have decided that with the summer here, I have plenty of time to sit down at plan/write it out.

 

Anyways I've coming to a turning point in my planning process. Do I, or do I not include sex as a plot device in the story? I know that this is a largely subjective issue, and that it is ultimately up to me in the end, however I still am having trouble deciding if its something I'd like to write. I've written such scenes in the past (when I was younger ) and it wasnt an exceptionally terrible or enjoyable experience. Pretty much mediocre I'd say.

 

Anyways, what I'd like to know from you guys, is how everyone feels about sex scenes in stories. The one I'm working on won't be revolving around such things (which I know is more commonly known as porn) however I'm not sure how to implement it, or use it as an effective tool for character development. Any thoughts on the pros and cons of using sex scenes in a plot driven story are much appreciated, and are in fact what I'm looking for.

 

Thanks in advance for any ideas you might share on the subject

[Gregoire]

I feel that sex scenes don't cheapen a story when done properly. There's nothing wrong with getting a little rise out of someone's sexual encounter, so long as that's not the only thing I feel in the entire story. You still have to have a solid plot, developed characters, and readable content.

 

How a character reacts to sexual stimuli and the impulses associated with sex are indicative of a characters overarching personality.

 

ADIDAGS. But my thoughts on it in writing are limited.

Edited May 15, 2010 by Mr. Greg

[Adam Phillips]

I feel that sex scenes don't cheapen a story when done properly.

 

I agree. But then I'm totally on board with full-on stroke pieces if they're written well, and apparently we have members here who are too refined for that sort of thing.

 

Every author here has to answer the question you asked on his/her own. But you might ask yourself the following question:

 

Who are you writing the story for, primarily? Are you writing it for yourself first and foremost? Or are you writing it so that it will be liked by the maximum amount of readers? Or are you looking to make an impact on a smaller subset of readers who embody a certain characteristic? A person could make a legitimate case for a variety of answers here, and what you decide to do will depend at least in part on how you answer the question.

 

I write for myself. If others like my stuff, that's great, and I enjoy sharing it, but I'd never let what a reading audience might think determine what I write. In fact, if I were to do so, I think I might lose the "voice" that in fact gives me the readership that I do have.

 

I tend to like authors best whose work is clearly self-directed, and not written with a view toward what people might like. I cringe when I hear of an author changing a chapter after-the-fact because of reaction from an audience. It's a little ironic for me to have said that, because I wrote Mark Arbour an incredibly nasty email about his story 1968 because I didn't like what he did with the plot. On the other hand, I have all the respect for his authorial autonomy. If he were to have asked me beforehand and I could have prevented him from killing off Jeff, well and good. But once he'd written it, I didn't like it but had to concede that it was his narrative universe in which he could do what he wanted.

 

I feel the same way about sex scenes. Do you want to write them into your story? Or would you rather not, and are simply wondering out loud if maybe you should? If your sex scenes are too explicit, there are some readers you'll lose. If you don't have any sex scenes, there will be other readers who don't stay with you. So you can't base your decision on what the readers want. Unless, of course, there is a certain type of reader you value keeping above other considerations. If that's the case, you'll have to try to anticipate what they'd like and write accordingly.

 

Decide what you want to do. Then do it, and do it well. And having done so, you will be able to stand by your decision without regret.

[Skylights]

I'm sure Adam wrote something amazing as usual but it was too long so I didn't read . (tl;dr)

 

Anyway, I find it annoying when people claim putting sex-scenes into a story somehow diminishes the quality of it. That's like limiting yourself to a strict type of writing and claiming only that is good. As it is, most of these decisions are subjective.

 

You have to be the one to decide if that's what you'd like to write, if you think it helps the story, or if it doesn't. It comes down to you. For me it depends on the story and my mood. I can allude to sex if I'd like or I can get down and dirty and lay it all out because stagnancy is just way too boring. Sometimes I avoid it entirely (though you won't find many of those stories on this site ).

 

It's all about you my friend

[Nephylim]

I don't know whether I am the right person to answer this question because my stories are entirely self driven, in the sense that they drive me. The idea comes to me and I sit and write it, the words and characters going in their own directions. Sometimes that direction takes them into sex, sometimes not. I don't use sex as a device or a hook and neither do I balk from doing it if it comes to me.

 

I absolutely agree that in oder to mantain writing integrity, which is important to me, a writer should follow their heart and their art. They either listen to their muse or they don't in which case the muse gets pissed and either leaves them or messes with them.

 

The question should be self answering... if the story asks for it then do it, if it doesn't don't. If you put in sex just for the sake of it, if you don't really want to do it then the scene is simply not going to be good. It will be wooden, contrived and boring. There has to be feeling in it to get feelings out of it.

 

 

[hh5]

announcement-166-no-porn-stories-in-efiction

 

There is an announcement - which I am not understanding of

 

But I think it is having tastefully done sex scene rather than very explicit porn done - i think that be like on JustUsBoys Stories - would not be liked here I think -

[Tipdin]

A sex scene is neither good or bad nor right or wrong. How it's done in the context of the story is what matters.

 

A hard core sex scene inside an otherwise G-rate story doesn't work. A sweet, romantic - subtle description of a love making scene would be odd inside a blood-splashing slasher story.

 

Personally, I think most people's sense of what they find erotic is usually so subjective and specific that it's better to leave major sex scenes to the porn writers. Not that a sex scene cannot work inside a given story, but I know, for me, even in gay books I've purchased, I find most of the sex scenes trite and almost laughable at times. I often skip over those parts - it rarely adds to the story and almost never fits with my own idea of erotic reading.

[Skyline]

Thanks for the responses guys, they are much appreciated. I figure the choice is one I'll have to make once I start further developing the story, and more likely, when I get there (there as in to whatever part in the plot it might be included.)

 

Feel free to continue discussing this, as I'm still interested in any other opinions you may have on how to properly implement a sex scene, or avoid one, once I decide which is best

[PrivateTim]

A sex scene is like any other scene in a story it should move the story forward, not sidetrack it.

 

If the story is a coming of age story or a story of discovery, the sex scene can be very powerful and crucial. It doesn't need to be explicit It also should not be gratuitous or prurient.

[Graeme]

I'll start by saying I don't write sex scenes for personal reasons. I don't have an objection to them, I just don't write them myself and most of the time I'm not reading stories for sex scenes.

 

Feel free to continue discussing this, as I'm still interested in any other opinions you may have on how to properly implement a sex scene, or avoid one, once I decide which is best

The most successful sex scenes I've read have been those that concentrate on emotions, not mechanics. Mechanics can be included if they're unusual, or otherwise help the plot/character development (like accidentally head butting their partner because of they both bent forward at the same time, leading to a short section of laughter and apologies, before getting back to doing it 'right'). If you haven't done so, have a read of Dom Luka's Desert Dropping story, and check out the sex scenes. There aren't many, but they are important to the story and they are a natural part of the flow. Another one to read would be ShadowGod's Living in Surreality. Again, the sex scenes are not just there for titillation, but also serve important purposes in the overall story.

 

Another approach, which is the one I use, is to lead up to a sex scene, but leave it to the reader's imagination. They know what's going to happen because the scene has been set, but they don't see the details. Alternatively, have the aftermath, so the readers know what happened, but only get to 'see' what happened next. Again, that can be good for plot/character development, especially to let the readers see what a character is like after they get what they wanted.

 

I've only been tempted to write a sex scene once, and that was because of the unusual circumstances the story protagonist found himself in. I eventually decided to leave it out, but the story (The Price of Friendship) could easily have had a sex scene because the subject of gay sex was a major component of the story. It just didn't appear in the story...

[Adam Phillips]

So many ways to slice this. And everybody's mileage varies.

 

I like sex scenes. I like them to be explicit too. But they have to be well-written, and I don't think it's easy to write them.

 

That being said, I don't require them.

[Nephylim]

I love writing sex scenes but it is difficult to be creative after a couple of times... I mean how many ways are there to describe the same thing? Hmmm...quite a few actually.

[Krista]

I've written a few sex scenes, most of the time they're rarely there... like not descriptive at all. It depends on my characters for the most part. If they're under the age of 18, it is likely that there won't be a sex scene, that doesn't mean the characters don't have sex, but I won't describe it at all... but if they are adults, I'm more likely to write a sex scene and it be more graphic..

 

Most of my stuff will be little to no sex though unless the story calls for it and most of the time my stories won't.. but I do have one in the works where sex is extremely important to the plot between my characters... so it will have sex.. graphic, probably.. since it is that type of story.

[jon-jon]

 

Anyways I've coming to a turning point in my planning process. Do I, or do I not include sex as a plot device in the story? I know that this is a largely subjective issue, and that it is ultimately up to me in the end, however I still am having trouble deciding if its something I'd like to write. I've written such scenes in the past (when I was younger ) and it wasnt an exceptionally terrible or enjoyable experience. Pretty much mediocre I'd say.

 

 

I think you may have answered your own question. From a readers point of view, I go with the point that if it moves the story forward, is integral to character and is well written then I have no problem with it and enjoy it. Some authors take Andy Warhol's "always leave them wanting less" too much to heart and include too many "sexual encounters" and I find myself skimming over them to get back to the story. Sometimes "less is more" applies to more than just architecture!

[David McLeod]

...I like sex scenes. I like them to be explicit too. But they have to be well-written, and I don't think it's easy to write them...

 

Ditto. On the other hand, and I've said this before, I think the readers' imagination is probably much better than anything I can write. For the most part, therefore, I skip the explicit ("Recoil" was an exception) and try to set the stage to allow the reader to fill in the blanks. It is very hard to write an explicit sex scene well, IMHO.

 

I love writing sex scenes but it is difficult to be creative after a couple of times... I mean how many ways are there to describe the same thing? Hmmm...quite a few actually.

 

Sounds as if we need some sort of survey or poll.

[Cia]

I write intimate scenes, but not always sex. I'm not afraid of it but I tend to be a bit more oblique and the more intimate the body contact the less overt I am in writing it. For me, I don't plan for it to happen but if it comes when I write the story then I will leave it in. Sex in fiction can be great, if done right, I like it, mf/mm/ff, none of it bothers me. It's interesting to read other's take on writing them however. I know that intimate scenes are some of the hardest for me to write, it's a fine line between getting the emotions and the physical actions right and to try and make them clear to the reader without losing sight of what is going on with the characters.

 

I've read sex scenes that were all of 2 sentences but evoked the sense of a wild crazy sex scene that was titillating without writing the actual physical actions and I've read stories that have page long sex scenes giving every dirty detail that were very blah. I think you have to try writing them to see how you feel about them, and with each story that feeling might change. Oh... and then get a second opinion that helps too!

[gabrielsknife]

Wow, what a loaded question.

 

Everyone has their own opinion in regards to sex in writing. How much is too much? When does a "sex scene" overload the story? Is it really necessary to have one at all?

 

I've written quite a few sex scenes in my writing career. I started off with "curtain drops", then gradually made my way to full blown erotic scenes. It all depended with what I was comfortable with at the time. When I started, I wasn't comfortable with sex. Curious and interested about it, sure, but not brave enough or knowledgeable to describe the...ahem, ins-and-outs of the act.

 

When I became comfortable with what I was writing, I became brave enough to explore the hidden aspect of the sex scene. I think, once you're comfortable with it as a person, then you could begin to explore it as a writer if that's what you want. There's nothing worse then trying to force yourself to write what you don't want to write. It reflects back on you and could tarnish what you have worked so hard on.

 

That said, not all stories need sex. Sure, it's a pretty/fun/attention-getting icing, but you don't need it to top everything. The sex could get in the way of the main plotline and make your cake-story loose its flavor. The sex-icing could overwhelm the natural flavors of the story and make it more sexually driven then you meant it to be. Or, the sex-icing could be just what you need to make your story-cake go from ordinarily to eye-catching and brilliant.

 

In the end, it's you as the writer who needs to make this choice. If you didn't like writing sex in the past, then those lingering feelings might tarnish what you wish to right now. If you're not confident or if you just plain don't like it, don't do it! Curtain-drop, and let your reader imagine everything . No shame in making your readers stretch their brains lol.

 

Don't force yourself and don't think that all good stories require sex to make them good or whatever. You just listen to your characters; they're who really matter, imho .

[JamesSavik]

I have no objections to sex scenes but I don't want every wet and messy detail.

 

It is one of those instances where less is more. I would argue that it is more erotic to leave some of the details to the readers imagination.

[PrivateTim]

I am of two minds. I think no one handles the sex scenes better than Dom, very few are explicit, but still hot. I do enjoy the explicit scenes if they are well done and there are some people here who do that well too. I can't say who, because his story on GA hasn't gotten there yet, but when it does.... it is perfect.

[Forty-Two]

I agree with the general opinion here - do whatever is true to the story you want to tell. If you do include sex scenes, make sure it is about more than just physical actions.

 

If you're not sure, I think a good fallback option is what Graeme suggested:

 

Another approach, which is the one I use, is to lead up to a sex scene, but leave it to the reader's imagination. They know what's going to happen because the scene has been set, but they don't see the details. Alternatively, have the aftermath, so the readers know what happened, but only get to 'see' what happened next. Again, that can be good for plot/character development, especially to let the readers see what a character is like after they get what they wanted.

[Heart]

Agree with most of you. I enjoy sex scenes but not in every chapter, plot development, strong story line, is key for me. I believe though that including the sex scene could be used to move the plot forward, its little things about ones personality that would provide more insite, hense, if that is the purpose then, yes, I like detail, but not pages and pages of it. Make describing it an art. profanity, it's fine, because that's how some people speak and forms part of reality, no probs with that, again, used sparingly, hey you guys rock

[zland666]

Yes there delcious as long as it's not the entire plot but it's periodcally through the book just not one scene

[John Galaor]

I agree. But then I'm totally on board with full-on stroke pieces if they're written well, and apparently we have members here who are too refined for that sort of thing.

 

Every author here has to answer the question you asked on his/her own. But you might ask yourself the following question:

 

Who are you writing the story for, primarily? Are you writing it for yourself first and foremost? Or are you writing it so that it will be liked by the maximum amount of readers? Or are you looking to make an impact on a smaller subset of readers who embody a certain characteristic? A person could make a legitimate case for a variety of answers here, and what you decide to do will depend at least in part on how you answer the question.

 

I write for myself. If others like my stuff, that's great, and I enjoy sharing it, but I'd never let what a reading audience might think determine what I write. In fact, if I were to do so, I think I might lose the "voice" that in fact gives me the readership that I do have.

 

I tend to like authors best whose work is clearly self-directed, and not written with a view toward what people might like. I cringe when I hear of an author changing a chapter after-the-fact because of reaction from an audience. It's a little ironic for me to have said that, because I wrote Mark Arbour an incredibly nasty email about his story 1968 because I didn't like what he did with the plot. On the other hand, I have all the respect for his authorial autonomy. If he were to have asked me beforehand and I could have prevented him from killing off Jeff, well and good. But once he'd written it, I didn't like it but had to concede that it was his narrative universe in which he could do what he wanted.

 

I feel the same way about sex scenes. Do you want to write them into your story? Or would you rather not, and are simply wondering out loud if maybe you should? If your sex scenes are too explicit, there are some readers you'll lose. If you don't have any sex scenes, there will be other readers who don't stay with you. So you can't base your decision on what the readers want. Unless, of course, there is a certain type of reader you value keeping above other considerations. If that's the case, you'll have to try to anticipate what they'd like and write accordingly.

 

Decide what you want to do. Then do it, and do it well. And having done so, you will be able to stand by your decision without regret.

 

It is difficult to argue about this. On a hand, some readers feel awkward with sex scenes, as if feeling some modesty and do not want to remember or as if regretting the sin of reading such scenes. It all depends on the degree of modesty the reader feels when reading a sex scene. I remember like 40 years ago, the first time I saw a pic with sperm spread over human skin. I was for some four of five seconds shocked. Younger people that gave me this magazine to watch was waiting to see my reaction. It is not that I had not had watched that thing in a real way.

 

Then, sometimes I had read some commentaries as if needing the characters of a story should have a "character", whatever it means.

 

I usually have adolescents in my stories. But adolescents cannot have yet developed any character. Or at least are not marked yet. It is older people who have a character more or less developed already.

Then, if to read a story we need to concentrated in people with strong character... we would not be aloud to present a young character with a soft and adaptable character. It is after a collection of bumps and abuses that a young person began developing a character.

 

As for sex scenes... this occurs in real life, I suppose. In past times, under the taboo of excluding sexual references in literature... this was the norm. Serious literature could not contain sexual references. Any allusion had to be indirect and very well wrapped in metaphors or euphemisms. The opposite does not make literature any better. For life is not composed of sex scenes exclusively.

 

Then it is the boring component of literature. The main reason to read a story is that one is expecting "pleasant moments". These pleasant moments can be easily labeled as "expectations". Very few readers are going to read a story that had the aim to explain the secrets of "quantum electrodynamics", I suppose. So, pleasant expectations are not to be found in a novel. To enjoy quantum physics we would try best "the Elements of Q.E." of Paul Dirac or something like that.

 

Then, depending on the degree of our modesty, we would enjoy a sex scene or not. Then, I remember that there is well know genre of literature called "romantic novels". But after a famous resolution of the U.S Supreme Court in the 60's the laws of obscenity cannot prohibit the printing of novels containing obscene words, or explicit sex scenes. Then, some readers are still under the spell of anti-obscenity laws dictated by Christian and Victorian codes of modesty.

John Galaor

[John Galaor]

Thanks for the responses guys, they are much appreciated. I figure the choice is one I'll have to make once I start further developing the story, and more likely, when I get there (there as in to whatever part in the plot it might be included.)

 

Feel free to continue discussing this, as I'm still interested in any other opinions you may have on how to properly implement a sex scene, or avoid one, once I decide which is best

 

it depends on the type of readers you have.

I have posted stories in nifty. Some of the most hot steamy stories had sent me a lot of mail thanking me, and even giving me ideas to continue the story. While the most literary stories had sent me back only a few mails as feed back.

 

Then, the success of a story depends also on the background of the story. I think here in GA are very popular the pseudo-archaic stories in the line of the Lord of the Rings and vampires. It all depends in which were the favorite readings when one was an adolescent. Once one gets hooked to a genre of literature this is the model for the rest of his life.

If the stories he had read had not explicit sex, but a few hints and faint innuendos... well, this would be the right path.

It is all a question of our tastes in literature. For my part, my stories in a formal style as if it were from the first half of twenty century, are mostly a bore for readers. Then, I had abandoned this serious style of writing. I do not want to bore my readers.

 

I am not betting either to prove the good taste of readers. I had read some samples of the most read stories in GA, so I got some ideas about this concept. Anyway, taste is a very subjective matter. Everyone considers a good story is that he likes when reading.

Nobody is going to consider a good story if he does not like it when reading.

 

Then, the conclusion is simple. Write in the way you most pleases. At most, you can change something in a story, if a publisher is going to print your novel. But do not change it as much that you would dislike the story.

[Zolia Lily]

I personally usually write the sex scenes, and what i do write tends to be explicit and fairly detailed. Perhaps i could skip over them, but i like writing them, so i don't.

 

If you're worried about writing a sex scene if it will be a mediocre one (and therefore jar or not flow with the rest of what you've written), i'd suggest thinking about the short skim over people have suggested. It can be done erotically, even if it's very vague. I've read a number of sex scenes were the focus is emotional or a very general focus on the physicaly connection without getting into the details of things.

 

I'd give yourself a chance though - if you come to that point in the story and you're not sure, maybe have a go, and see what you think. Or write two different versions (detailed and not) and have someone read them and give honest feedback.

 

I also have to say- writing a sex scene is a lengthy process for me. I generally write something, then have to keep going back and fleshing it out and buildling on it and editing until i'm happy with it. I certainly don't find them easy. So if it's something you do want to do- keep trying!

 

I think the most important thing is to do what YOU like and not what you think will appeal to your readers. Someone (curse my short memory!) recently said about his audience that they only thought they knew what they wanted to hear or read. And i really like the idea of that. I think it's really important to satisfy your own creative muse before anyone else's opinions about your work.