Zombie Posted December 2, 2020 Author Posted December 2, 2020 (edited) It's Christmas Day 🎄and you're about to get all stuffed out on stuffing and turkey and pigs in blankets and roast potatoes and bread sauce and gravy and cranberry sauce ...and boiled sprouts (compulsory in the UK and the law says they must be boiled for at least 6 hours to make sure they're dead ) and Christmas pudding and mince pies... And that means it's time to pull the Christmas crackers! 🎉 But wait! Have you checked your life insurance? Could pulling that cracker mean you never get to eat those tasty sprouts? Are you prepared for the Yuletide horror that's about to be unleashed? Do you really want to "die an agonising death" from "flesh-eating" "killer death spiders"? It's a tricky one But don't say you haven't been warned... Edited December 2, 2020 by Zombie 1 1 1
Sherye Story Reader Posted December 17, 2020 Posted December 17, 2020 Well, we have brown recluse spiders here and if they bite you then it will eat your skin up. It took me a long time to heal my husband's foot from that with hydrogen peroxide and triple antibiotic cream. So no I don't like spiders. 2
Drew Espinosa Posted January 30, 2021 Posted January 30, 2021 I've said it before, but I'll say it again: I'm never setting foot in Australia. 2 3
Zombie Posted January 30, 2021 Author Posted January 30, 2021 1 hour ago, Drew Espinosa said: I've said it before, but I'll say it again: I'm never setting foot in Australia. 2
bill93 Posted January 30, 2021 Posted January 30, 2021 (edited) nice Edited January 30, 2021 by bill93 2
bill93 Posted January 30, 2021 Posted January 30, 2021 (edited) nice Edited January 30, 2021 by bill93 1
Popular Post Zombie Posted February 22, 2021 Author Popular Post Posted February 22, 2021 Ever heard the expression “you’ve got no sense of proportion!”? You have? Wanna know how good yours is? OK here’s a teensy weeny little testette for you... on the left hand side is a man’s hand... 4 2
Popular Post Slytherin Posted February 22, 2021 Popular Post Posted February 22, 2021 38 minutes ago, Zombie said: Ever heard the expression “you’ve got no sense of proportion!”? You have? Wanna know how good yours is? OK here’s a teensy weeny little testette for you... on the left hand side is a man’s hand... Bad Zombie!! Why did I come here to this thread.. or is it a web?? Yikes!! *hides under chair* 1 5
Zombie Posted July 28, 2021 Author Posted July 28, 2021 (edited) With just 149 shopping days left till Christmas some keen-eyed observers may have noticed that The Penguin (“I’m not really evil… well, maybe just a bit… OK, you got me… a lot!”) has kindly sent me details of my Christmas “present” - a “Hatch Your Own Spiders Terrarium” I’m sure it was an entirely innocent oversight on her part but, on closer inspection of the packaging, it’s clear that some important details weren't mentioned… I thought you should be aware of these “details” just in case you might be sent the same “gift” from other “well-wishers”… “What’s in the box?” “Venom antidote. Those spiders sure do love to bite. Any one of them could bite you and you’d be dead in minutes. But not any more with this life-saving antidote!” (thoughtfully included - like batteries aren’t ) ”Spider net. Spiders have a habit of escaping. This net is perfectly designed to round up those critters” “Warning” ”These spiders are aggressive. Really aggressive” ”Spiders have tiny sensors that can recognise fear and often act upon it!” ”Scientists have discovered that spiders are capable of hostile, strategic attacks!” “Watch them work together to escape - better look out Timmy!” Regular readers will know that this thread is intended to be a “go to” source of reliable factual information about spiders. Stay safe …and always be on the lookout Edited July 28, 2021 by Zombie 5
clochette Posted July 28, 2021 Posted July 28, 2021 9 minutes ago, Zombie said: I’m sure it was an entirely innocent oversight on her part but, on closer inspection of the packaging, it’s clear that some important details weren't mentioned… "Genetically enhanced to be more faster and more aggressive " "Venenous fangs", "devious mind", "gorgeous, fluffy thricobothria" Hmmm... kinda sounds like someone who know here... Me thing they're mini Val 4
Zombie Posted September 9, 2021 Author Posted September 9, 2021 yes yes, we’ve all seen and laughed at these memes But it’s important to remember if you are trapped in your home by something with more legs than it should have (all of them hairy), and probably a big fat body and lots of eyes, then all options are on the table So, do you have a plan? Because there’s no telling where they might be lurking (and there’s always more than just one) or when they might attack There’s probably one watching you now waiting… And they can move Fast Quicker than you can run Because this is the time of year when they get into your home where it’s nice ‘n’ comfy You can’t stop them! no matter what you use as your first line of defence - peppermint spray, citronella, vinegar - they WILL get inside your home So, then it’s down to your second line of defence - killing them Screaming and waving your arms around is pointless. It (or, rather, they) will just watch you And then move in closer… No, what you need is an armoury, and skills to deploy those weapons Which is where video games like KILL IT WITH FIRE! come in, allowing you to practice and hone your skills with flame-throwers and other essential household weapons in the comfort of your own home As ever, I hope you find this non-sensational, fact-based and responsible information resource to be helpful in providing the straightforward facts you need in order to protect you and your loved ones 5
Zombie Posted October 1, 2021 Author Posted October 1, 2021 (edited) Spiders On A Plane Maybe you never use planes Which is good carbon footprint an’ all No, wait, that’s wrong. That is NOT the reason not to travel on planes. The reason not to travel on planes is - yes, you guessed it - SPIDERS! Because planes are infested with spiders There you are, in your window seat enjoying the view strapped ‘n’ trapped next to a giant XXXL sumo wrestler So whatcha gonna do when this happens? Actually, that’s not what you should be worrying about No, because you can shriek and scream and the planes’s not gonna crash But… if a big fat spider jumps onto the pilot and he/she shrieks and screams just as you’re coming in to land that’s not good… Edited October 1, 2021 by Zombie 1 2 2
Site Administrator Popular Post wildone Posted October 2, 2021 Site Administrator Popular Post Posted October 2, 2021 On 9/9/2021 at 8:17 AM, Zombie said: yes yes, we’ve all seen and laughed at these memes But it’s important to remember if you are trapped in your home by something with more legs than it should have (all of them hairy), and probably a big fat body and lots of eyes, then all options are on the table So, do you have a plan? Because there’s no telling where they might be lurking (and there’s always more than just one) or when they might attack There’s probably one watching you now waiting… And they can move Fast Quicker than you can run Because this is the time of year when they get into your home where it’s nice ‘n’ comfy You can’t stop them! no matter what you use as your first line of defence - peppermint spray, citronella, vinegar - they WILL get inside your home So, then it’s down to your second line of defence - killing them Screaming and waving your arms around is pointless. It (or, rather, they) will just watch you And then move in closer… No, what you need is an armoury, and skills to deploy those weapons Which is where video games like KILL IT WITH FIRE! come in, allowing you to practice and hone your skills with flame-throwers and other essential household weapons in the comfort of your own home As ever, I hope you find this non-sensational, fact-based and responsible information resource to be helpful in providing the straightforward facts you need in order to protect you and your loved ones I see you got a picture of @Valkyrie's last house Unfortunately most of the spiders escaped before the fire set in. Remember, they run faster than a human and the can get in and out of everywhere. I know you are promoting this option @Zombie, but you should do full disclosure Val didn't get any insurance money as she deliberately started the fire. There doesn't appear to be a spider exemption in house fire policies 1 5 1
Site Administrator Popular Post Valkyrie Posted October 2, 2021 Site Administrator Popular Post Posted October 2, 2021 6 hours ago, wildone said: I see you got a picture of @Valkyrie's last house Unfortunately most of the spiders escaped before the fire set in. Remember, they run faster than a human and the can get in and out of everywhere. I know you are promoting this option @Zombie, but you should do full disclosure Val didn't get any insurance money as she deliberately started the fire. There doesn't appear to be a spider exemption in house fire policies I pay for a spider extension on my insurance for this exact eventuality 7
sandrewn Posted October 2, 2021 Posted October 2, 2021 Meanwhile, in an alternate universe!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sleep well, my friends 1 3 1
sandrewn Posted October 5, 2021 Posted October 5, 2021 Food for thought. Oh, and keep in mind what I posted on yesterdays' Bread Crumbs: As I said, food for thought. 2 1
sandrewn Posted October 9, 2021 Posted October 9, 2021 (edited) Edited October 9, 2021 by sandrewn 1 1
clochette Posted October 13, 2021 Posted October 13, 2021 Why would anyone be interested to watch the results of spiders on drugs? people are weird https://www.thesun.co.uk/tech/6818187/nasa-spider-webs-drugs-lsd-marijuana/ 1 1
Site Administrator wildone Posted October 14, 2021 Site Administrator Posted October 14, 2021 2 hours ago, clochette said: Why would anyone be interested to watch the results of spiders on drugs? people are weird https://www.thesun.co.uk/tech/6818187/nasa-spider-webs-drugs-lsd-marijuana/ If there was ever a clear cut case of animal cruelty, this would be it . Even bunny rabbits seem to have more protection than what could be pet spiders 2 2
sandrewn Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 (edited) I was going to post this in my daily blog, but here seemed more appropriate. I know it takes all kinds, but this guy really makes me wonder? A real spider man? Edited October 20, 2021 by sandrewn 1
sandrewn Posted October 26, 2021 Posted October 26, 2021 (edited) Edited October 26, 2021 by sandrewn
sandrewn Posted November 12, 2021 Posted November 12, 2021 (edited) Edited November 12, 2021 by sandrewn
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