Jay & Miles by ColumbusGuy

[Headstall]

Just sent chapter 30 to Gary, hope he likes it. 7400 words.

I loved it!!

[jaysalmn]

Hey CG! Just read the new chapter and loved it! I literally laughed out loud at the Fag Newton comment! I also had to laugh when Jeff and Lee were making fun of Denny and Greg feeding each other! Great chapter!!

[ColumbusGuy]

Thanks Jay! Got any suggestions for the next chapter? Who should tell it, or who should be the main stars? The question first up is 'do I continue with the present evening with the two couples, or move on to the next day?' So far I have nothing down yet.

 

The coming weekend for them 18th April, will be Easter, and I sort of have an idea for that, and also for Friday night, but nothing for Thursday at all. (It's currently Wednesday evening.)

[jaysalmn]

Thanks Jay! Got any suggestions for the next chapter? Who should tell it, or who should be the main stars? The question first up is 'do I continue with the present evening with the two couples, or move on to the next day?' So far I have nothing down yet.

 

The coming weekend for them 18th April, will be Easter, and I sort of have an idea for that, and also for Friday night, but nothing for Thursday at all. (It's currently Wednesday evening.)

[jaysalmn]

I think u should move on to the next day. We alteady kinda kno how both couples spent their evening. Guess to me it really doesn't matter who's point of view u go with. Whichever character's point of view u choose to go with, I kno its gonna be another great chapter

[ColumbusGuy]

Some interest in the Newton boys.   Could this be Greg?

What about this for Jeff:

Could this be Lee:

 

 

After more than an hour of searching, the one for Lee was as close as I could get without sacrificing too much on hair color (Strawberry-blond) age (14) or glasses (holding rather than wearing)...sigh

[Headstall]

Some interest in the Newton boys.   Could this be Greg?

What about this for Jeff:

Could this be Lee:

 

 

After more than an hour of searching, the one for Lee was as close as I could get without sacrificing too much on hair color (Strawberry-blond) age (14) or glasses (holding rather than wearing)...sigh

You could even switch the top two and it would still work... Great choices... but I think you've got it right... Greg should be the top guy(no pun intended ).

[EagleIsaac]

You could even switch the top two and it would still work... Great choices... but I think you've got it right... Greg should be the top guy(no pun intended ).

LOL sure there wasn't

 

But I do see the top one as close to how I picture Greg

[Headstall]

Thanks Jay! Got any suggestions for the next chapter? Who should tell it, or who should be the main stars? The question first up is 'do I continue with the present evening with the two couples, or move on to the next day?' So far I have nothing down yet.

 

The coming weekend for them 18th April, will be Easter, and I sort of have an idea for that, and also for Friday night, but nothing for Thursday at all. (It's currently Wednesday evening.)

I don't care what you do, but I want at least a little bit of Benny and Calvin ....pleeeeeeeeze...

[ColumbusGuy]

\

 

This is what I thought Greg used to look like, I put him up for Tim's Jasper.

Edited July 30, 2015 by ColumbusGuy

[Timothy M.]

Ohhh hot redheads

 

(Better hope JAR doesn't see them and gets out the clippers )

[Headstall]

 

\

 

This is what I thought Greg used to look like, I put him up for Tim's Jasper.

 

I think he looks a little too young to be Greg... I like the other one you posted( the top one)... and his hair looks more seventies...

[ColumbusGuy]

That's a good point, Gary! I never saw a kid with stiff hair in high school--only girls used hairspray, and it was going out of fashion then I think. I can remember my sisters using it a lot to hold those 60s styles in place.

I did run into guys at the bars in the 80s with lots of mousse and hairspray...wasn't really my favorite since I like to run fingers through a guy's hair...not that I'd have tossed that guy out of bed when I was younger.

Time for lunch, and a quick wipe of the keyboard with a damp cloth to collect the drool.

[Timothy M.]

Time for lunch, and a quick wipe of the keyboard with a damp cloth to collect the drool.

 

Kitt, CG needs a Drool Diverter !

[ColumbusGuy]

Tim, det er så sandt min danske ven.

Since that's probably wrong, how about this:

Du hast recht, mein Freund! Schick es mir, bitte!

[AC Benus]

A little birdie told me the next chapter is underway, twitter, twitter, tweep, tweep, so send out your positive energy to our intrepid author. All things romantic and Gay in 1976 central Ohio are in his capable hands  

[ColumbusGuy]

I think I have the first scene visualized...unless a prompt would fit...have to wait and see, but I'll try not to keep the audience waiting too long.

I'm thinking two POV's in this one, which seems to be par for the course lately, hope you guys don't mind?

I'm thinking of using and

[ColumbusGuy]

I'm feeling a little down right now...just got my first negative feedback from Nifty. I'm writing a nicely-worded explanation of why the story is as it is, but still...it makes me want to cry.

Here's the text of the email:

 

Thanks for writing the story. Overall it's engaging. I do have a suggestion for you. To be direct, the first few chapters aside, your narrative has become increasingly and now severely tedious.

 

First, you way way over-describe and about way way too many things. For example, in this last chapter, I really don't need to know every little detail of your room, each detail in turned described in detail. In the last chapter you have the long reminiscence, running on several pages, about the beginning of the boys' relationship.

 

Second, you delve into - again in great detail - in side stories of characters and events that have little to do with the rest of your tale. Your main plot has become substantially more complicated with you introduction of the relationship between Greg and Denny to be as important - and detailed - as the title story of Miles and Jay. 

 

I can give you with assurance only my reaction. As your first chapters appeared I read them eagerly. The last couple weeks, however, I'm reluctant to open up the latest pieces which have become longer and less focussed.

 

Perhaps you need to bother a friend to edit your story?

 

It is, of course, YOUR story and you are the final judge. So, take my suggestions or not as you see fit.

[Headstall]

 

I'm feeling a little down right now...just got my first negative feedback from Nifty. I'm writing a nicely-worded explanation of why the story is as it is, but still...it makes me want to cry.

Here's the text of the email:

 

Thanks for writing the story. Overall it's engaging. I do have a suggestion for you. To be direct, the first few chapters aside, your narrative has become increasingly and now severely tedious.

 

First, you way way over-describe and about way way too many things. For example, in this last chapter, I really don't need to know every little detail of your room, each detail in turned described in detail. In the last chapter you have the long reminiscence, running on several pages, about the beginning of the boys' relationship.

 

Second, you delve into - again in great detail - in side stories of characters and events that have little to do with the rest of your tale. Your main plot has become substantially more complicated with you introduction of the relationship between Greg and Denny to be as important - and detailed - as the title story of Miles and Jay. 

 

I can give you with assurance only my reaction. As your first chapters appeared I read them eagerly. The last couple weeks, however, I'm reluctant to open up the latest pieces which have become longer and less focussed.

 

Perhaps you need to bother a friend to edit your story?

 

It is, of course, YOUR story and you are the final judge. So, take my suggestions or not as you see fit.

 

It's just one person's opinion, CG. I, for one, have always been impressed by your ability to make detail interesting. I have told you in the past that I am not big on detail, but I get lost in yours... you paint pictures... beautiful pictures. As far as Greg and Denny, you are building a family of friends in this story... and your fans love this. Yes this is a story about J and M, but it is also so much more than that. It is about banding together in a very difficult time, a time of which you are a master at recreating. I love where this story is going... it is very fluid, and while I respect others' opinions, I don't agree with this person's critique. I look forward to learning about Benny and Calvin as additions to this story. I would advise you stay the course, Buddy, and take this one with a grain of salt. Not everyone is going to appreciate your efforts... but I sure do, and I know I'm not alone....Love you, my friend xo... G-man...

[ColumbusGuy]

It was suggested that I ought to have summarized rather than quoted the above...with the removal of all identifying features, was I right to do this? If I'd taken that course, I might have misstated the writer's intent, or made it sound worse than it was--this way my emotions aren't involved.

My reply was very polite, stating I regretted him feeling disappointed in my story, but Jay and Miles exist at a time unfamiliar to modern youth, hence the need for details...and they have friends and family who are part of their lives as well...and I thanked the writer for commenting.

I don't think I said anything to elicit a negative response, and I ask you guys to refrain from doing the same...I'm so glad that you read my story at all, and seem to like it.

We all have opinions and are free to express them nicely, as this person has done...there are times when we might not agree with parts of a story, or the way it is going, and that is only as it should be--I myself wonder if I'm going the right way with my story--as Gary can testify.

 

So, if you have things you'd like to bring up, if I can work to solve them, let me know. I'll try to keep my chapters under 10,000 words. 

[Headstall]

It was suggested that I ought to have summarized rather than quoted the above...with the removal of all identifying features, was I right to do this? If I'd taken that course, I might have misstated the writer's intent, or made it sound worse than it was--this way my emotions aren't involved.

My reply was very polite, stating I regretted him feeling disappointed in my story, but Jay and Miles exist at a time unfamiliar to modern youth, hence the need for details...and they have friends and family who are part of their lives as well...and I thanked the writer for commenting.

I don't think I said anything to elicit a negative response, and I ask you guys to refrain from doing the same...I'm so glad that you read my story at all, and seem to like it.

We all have opinions and are free to express them nicely, as this person has done...there are times when we might not agree with parts of a story, or the way it is going, and that is only as it should be--I myself wonder if I'm going the right way with my story--as Gary can testify.

 

So, if you have things you'd like to bring up, if I can work to solve them, let me know. I'll try to keep my chapters under 10,000 words. 

I'm confused as to who suggested you summarize... I see no identifying features here? And we don't just like your story... we love it... it has a special charm to it that combines the innocence of these characters with the reality of their time, and the difficulties it presented to gay youth. It is a masterful and accurate representation, and you can write the chapters as long or as short as you want, and including more characters just adds to the overall. I hope you can let this go and not dwell on it... you are a superb writer giving us the gift of a superb story... Gary.

[ColumbusGuy]

It's just the timing, Gary...I was starting to put pixel to screen for 31 when I thought I'd check my emails at both my addresses--I wanted to keep the one for Nifty separate from my normal one--I get plenty of crap in that one already.   How many ads for viagra, porn, or far-Right politics can a person stand?

You know it's going to bug me...letting go isn't easy, but it was one out of dozens, scores if you count in GA as well.

I'm off to try to get the scene back in my head...just have to figure out which one to start with....

[Headstall]

It's just the timing, Gary...I was starting to put pixel to screen for 31 when I thought I'd check my emails at both my addresses--I wanted to keep the one for Nifty separate from my normal one--I get plenty of crap in that one already.   How many ads for viagra, porn, or far-Right politics can a person stand?

You know it's going to bug me...letting go isn't easy, but it was one out of dozens, scores if you count in GA as well.

I'm off to try to get the scene back in my head...just have to figure out which one to start with....

Atta boy, CG

[Palantir]

M, I won't say take no notice of the email because the sender seemed to giving you his genuine response to your story.

I will say that if you do feel you must keep everyone who reads your stories engrossed and happy you are doomed.

People simply have different views on what makes a good story (thank goodness, or stories would all be the same) and some readers just naturally prefer a minimalist plot while others seek description and characterisation.

 

It's your story. Tell it your way. Yes, listen to responses from your readers but treat them like any advice and use the parts that apply to you - and that's something you know better than anyone else.

[ColumbusGuy]

Thanks, Pal! Considering JM wasn't initially going to be a real story, I just put in what was needed for the first three or four chapters...once I got the idea that it could be more than that, it just grew, turning into what I had wanted in my life back then rather than what I wound up with...I admit that 11k for one chapter was a bit much, but that's only happened once, and I think it worked in that instance.

 

Minimalist might have been me writing term papers or reports for science class, or even my first stories back in 6th grade, but when I care about something, I want to put it out in a way that others can see and experience it as I do.  It comes down to style, and each of us is different. I love your stories and characters, but I couldn't write it the way you do, and I'd be nuts to try--it's the way you craft them which makes me interested. Keep it up, my friend!