Imposter syndrome and hating your own work

[FV2112]

A question for my fellow writers, is it normal to go through cycles of extreme self-doubt about your own abilities and skills?

I like to think that in the years I've been working on my novel on and off, I've gotten better at my art and have managed to learn and retain what to do and what not to do as a writer, but there are still these times where I feel like if my book were to get released, it would get shit on mercilessly on Goodreads and other places and have people on TikTok and youtube find out things they don't like about my book and make me feel like I'm a bad person for even thinking I could release it. Sometimes I feel like there's just nothing I can do to salvage my first draft and wonder why I even bother writing a second draft of it in the first place. 

[Krista]

Short answer: Yes. 

As far as how to overcome such a thing, is to put yourself out there. No one takes criticism well at first, it is most definitely a learned skill through existing in a world where you are criticized. You can help yourself along by creating a space around you with a few people that you're comfortable sharing your work with. Ask them to read, ask them questions knowing they will feed you constructive criticism, hard hitting truths, and not spoon feed you. Finding people like that can be the difference for someone just starting out, a reassurance of a smaller less loud group of voices telling you where your writing is lacking, or what can be improved upon. 

Most feedback you will get positive and negative will not be heavily constructive. So, you need to learn to look for and acknowledge true criticism and critical assessment and what feedback is hollow. You can only improve if you learn to lean on something that's more than surface level criticism. 

You also have to wrap your head around the fact that some people will not like your writing. And, that people go out of their way to criticize something they didn't like based on factors out of your control: Them picking up your story knowing they hate the genre, for example. Or they pick up your book knowing they don't want to read about a homosexual themed story, or whatever.

Social media platforms are toxic, people tend to weigh their words very heavily towards negativity for the sake of flaming someone or something. So, putting weight in divisive social media idiocy is never a smart thing to do. You should know your worth and stand by your work well before you allow yourself to engage with people who sit on their toilets for hours on end just to flame people because they're brave individuals living behind a screen.  

And, imagine a parrot that over prunes their feathers until they are bald. A writer can do that with their story, especially if they're the only set of eyes looking at the writing. You can edit the story far too heavily, rework it, and twiddle away at it far too long, if you're doing that then you need to stop. Take a breath, read the story with your hands off the keyboard, only correcting glaringly obvious issues like misspelled words. Remember as you're reading that your story started out as something, a goal, a theme, a character study you wanted to do, 'something' brought along the motivation. Try to keep that in mind as you're reading as well. Authors derail themselves so easily when they were on a perfectly good pace and track to accomplish what they set out to do by over analyzing every fine detail to death. 

Lastly, don't write for an audience you don't have. If you are too concerned by what people may 'think' about your writing 'before' you've written it, then you're writing for the wrong reasons. 

Double lastly, if you do end up publishing your story and it is completely bombarded and trashed to hell and back, don't stop. Take a breath, try again. None of us won our first race either. 

Edited March 2, 2025 by Krista

[LJCC]

23 hours ago, FV2112 said:

A question for my fellow writers, is it normal to go through cycles of extreme self-doubt about your own abilities and skills?

I like to think that in the years I've been working on my novel on and off, I've gotten better at my art and have managed to learn and retain what to do and what not to do as a writer, but there are still these times where I feel like if my book were to get released, it would get shit on mercilessly on Goodreads and other places and have people on TikTok and youtube find out things they don't like about my book and make me feel like I'm a bad person for even thinking I could release it. Sometimes I feel like there's just nothing I can do to salvage my first draft and wonder why I even bother writing a second draft of it in the first place. 

Definitely yes.

So wri

Edited March 3, 2025 by LJCC

[FV2112]

7 hours ago, LJCC said:

Definitely yes.

Sometimes you'd even doubt if even AI can write a better novel than you.

This one's a new insecurity, with the whole CHATGPT being able to write shitty stories.

Also, you ALWAYS have to write for yourself, NOT for the fame, the money, or whatever reasons you have. Writing is a very solitary journey. And as you're writing for yourself, you also have to write realistic aspirations and set standards along the way.

I know in myself that no one can clock my grammar. I know I'm good at that shit. But then again, if I'm feeling crappy about my writing, I know people would have a lot to say about my writing style, my characters, my narration, and other effluvia of nonsense targetted by my insecure mind, who's got nothing to do but make me feel shitty.

The best advice I tell myself is to walk away. Not write for a day, a week, or even a month.

The moment you start MISSING writing, writing your story, or writing your characters, you know that the nonsense your brain is spouting is far weaker than your effervescent mind tapping your ass to do the one thing you want to do, which is to write.

So write.

Like truth be told, I haven't written in exactly two weeks because I know my mind is bogged down in trying to cohesively glue the plot for a 270k+ (four part or five part novel) that requires around 100k+ more words to be finished.

It's a frigging HUGE job to amalgamate and tighten every loose plot I may have. I didn't have the energy to do such, so the majority of my spare time (which I should have done writing instead) was used to Reddit and YouTube some videos about MonsterHunter Wilds (a game I wanted to play but have no time for). And now, 6 days later, I've practically written around 7k words in a single sitting and will edit this shitbag for a week.

I'll probably write more tomorrow, and then the cycle of self-doubt will repeat itself (which I think is my mind telling me to take a break).

That's why those people telling you to write everyday—don't trust them.

They're terrorists.

Realistically, you can write everyday and take monthlong breaks. Those who do not are crazy mofos who need to get laid. I swear, the number of people who say, "Well, I write everyday," needs to get pinned to a wall and have steamy rompy sex while their brains are banged on the wall for inspiration. Too much of something is bad enough. 

Anyhow, getting head-banged for inspiration is also a great way to get some great plots.

Try it. Or just jerk off.

That works.

I can relate because my own passion project is a two-part novel with over seventy chapters that spans a multitude of different genres from drama, to slice-of-life, to romance, and even legal thriller. In short, it's a story about life and all the aspects of life, both good and bad. People have even told me that this is a pretty ambitious project for an unpublished amateur writer like myself, but it's something that I really am genuinely passionate about and I really want it to be the best it can be for what it is. 

[LJCC]

3 hours ago, FV2112 said:

I can relate because my own passion project is a two-part novel with over seventy chapters that spans a multitude of different genres from drama, to slice-of-life, to romance, and even legal thriller. In short, it's a story about life and all the aspects of life, both good and bad. People have even told me that this is a pretty ambitious project for an unpublished amateur writer like myself, but it's something that I really am genuinely passionate about and I really want it to be the best it can be for what it is. 

You just said it.

You're an amateur.

I'm gonna give you some reality check alright, and don't be offended.

You don't have millions of followers expecting your next book.

You don't have a following harranguing you about your projects.

You don't have an agent checking up on you about your progress.

You don't have a publishing agency telling you to do this or do that.

You have ALL the freedom in the world to write as you want it to be.

The MINUTE you think your next book is your OPUS and that it should be perfect, all hell breaks loose.

Because those non-existent expectations no one is really expecting from you since, as you've said, we're all amateur writers here, and yet you managed to bundle up and burden yourself for no reason by breaking your mind to do this and do that—you, sir, have just shot yourself in the foot. Because, as most amateur writers experience (depending on your skill level and experience to navigate through the trenches of writing), you'll either feel stuck or lose the motivation to write.

That's why good writers often write for themselves.

Because it detaches the mind away from all the expectations, self-fulfillment, and eventual downfall you'd get when writing.

Try reading a book. If you get the itch to write because somehow a good book you're reading inspires you, then that's a start.

 

[FV2112]

1 hour ago, LJCC said:

You just said it.

You're an amateur.

I'm gonna give you some reality check alright, and don't be offended.

You don't have millions of followers expecting your next book.

You don't have a following harranguing you about your projects.

You don't have an agent checking up on you about your progress.

You don't have a publishing agency telling you to do this or do that.

You have ALL the freedom in the world to write as you want it to be.

The MINUTE you think your next book is your OPUS and that it should be perfect, all hell breaks loose.

Because those non-existent expectations no one is really expecting from you since, as you've said, we're all amateur writers here, and yet you managed to bundle up and burden yourself for no reason by breaking your mind to do this and do that—you, sir, have just shot yourself in the foot. Because, as most amateur writers experience (depending on your skill level and experience to navigate through the trenches of writing), you'll either feel stuck or lose the motivation to write.

That's why good writers often write for themselves.

Because it detaches the mind away from all the expectations, self-fulfillment, and eventual downfall you'd get when writing.

Try reading a book. If you get the itch to write because somehow a good book you're reading inspires you, then that's a start.

 

Nah, I'm not offended in the slightest. I'm really not under any illusion whatsoever that I've written the next best American novel, this is simply my story, and I'd like to feel like because I've been writing for almost 15 years, the improvement between my early rough drafts and what I hope to soon be a finished product would be palpable. In all my years of reading and writing, I believe I've learned a lot about how a good story is composed. 

[LJCC]

6 minutes ago, FV2112 said:

Nah, I'm not offended in the slightest. I'm really not under any illusion whatsoever that I've written the next best American novel, this is simply my story, and I'd like to feel like because I've been writing for almost 15 years, the improvement between my early rough drafts and what I hope to soon be a finished product would be palpable. In all my years of reading and writing, I believe I've learned a lot about how a good story is composed. 

Yeah, I think you might just need to take a break.

You might need a set of fresh eyes to tackle your story.

[Krista]

36 minutes ago, FV2112 said:

Nah, I'm not offended in the slightest. I'm really not under any illusion whatsoever that I've written the next best American novel, this is simply my story, and I'd like to feel like because I've been writing for almost 15 years, the improvement between my early rough drafts and what I hope to soon be a finished product would be palpable. In all my years of reading and writing, I believe I've learned a lot about how a good story is composed. 

Time is a fallacy that bites us all in the ass. Time doesn't mean much if your mindset is that time put in somehow equates to the quality of the output. Sure, you can learn and improve through repetition, but you can also be hitting a nail with a wrench for fifteen years. I'm not questioning your talent, I've not read anything you've written. But your mindset seemed to shift from someone that is unsure about how to approach writing in general, motivation, and anxieties about handling criticism to someone that knows full well what they're doing. So, I guess I'm more or less confused by that shift.

If it is just nerves around publishing a 'baby' project that you've worked on for however many years, then okay I understand that. Maybe the original line of questioning and title of the topic threw me as well. Probably my problem. 

[W_L]

@FV2112

A lot of us have moments of self-doubt and fear about what we're writing. Sometimes giving yourself time is a good thing and other times, it adds to the self-doubt. 

I realize that I need to be able to write at least an outline and 4 chapters into a story to finish it completely. You can be engaged initially, then falter later, so a bit of space and certainty helps.

[Jason Rimbaud]

This has been an interesting thread to read. Other's have pointed out what my initial reaction upon reading your first comment. But I would like to raise a philosophical point if I may. And I am not saying things to offend, but to raise a point you might not have thought about. 

 

On 3/1/2025 at 7:40 PM, FV2112 said:

 Sometimes I feel like there's just nothing I can do to salvage my first draft and wonder why I even bother writing a second draft of it in the first place. 

I can answer this question quickly, because your first draft is shit and your brain might recognize that subconsciously, even if you don't.

But I have really good news for you, all first drafts are shit.

You choose your favorite author, Steven King first draft is shit. JK Rowlings, all her drafts are shit, even the ones that got published. But in both of those cases, the drafts you read wasn't the first one.

I am currently posting a story, I think the version I am posting is the 6th draft. And judging by the fact no one is reading it, that draft might still be shit. But it's better than the first draft I wrote three years ago. 

You seem to be putting a bunch of pressure on yourself to be perfect right out of the gate without putting in the work. Hemmingway famously said writing is rewriting. So why would you think your first draft would be any better than anyone elses? 

I know all my first drafts needs a ton of work. If you ask my current editor, he'd say even my 6th draft needed a lot of work. But the fun of writing for me is actually the process of going back over the narrative multiple times, changing, re-working, adding to the overall story. 

Have you ever let anyone read your first draft? If not, that could be a good way to gain fresh perspective on the story as a whole. 

Either way, I can assure you the story gets better and better each time you go through the process of re-writing. Or you can be like most of the Nifty writers and just throw up the first draft and move on to the next. I do urge you to read through the first draft critically, see what's good, what sucks, and what can be improved upon. Keep the good, cut the bad, and reshape what can be improved upon. 

Anyways, that's my two cents, and please take this comment in the spirit of how I intended it, just giving you another way to look at your own work. 

J 

 

 

[Thirdly]

This doesn't just apply to writing; this applies to any craft with various genres. Art, movies...just like in sports where you wouldn't want to be seated on the wrong side of the field being surrounded by opposing fans...the same goes for writing.

First, focus on what YOU want to do and where your enjoyment is. Then, find your niche, your people, and anyone that has similar likes to yours. Reach out to that group and ignore the haters. That phrase "Everyone's a damn critic" has persisted for decades now, and this is exactly why. You can't please everyone, and it would be a complete waste of time to try (that's when projects become so bland no one is pleased). 

Even surgeons have to specialize because they can't fit everything in their heads in one lifetime. 

[FV2112]

1 hour ago, Jason Rimbaud said:

This has been an interesting thread to read. Other's have pointed out what my initial reaction upon reading your first comment. But I would like to raise a philosophical point if I may. And I am not saying things to offend, but to raise a point you might not have thought about. 

 

I can answer this question quickly, because your first draft is shit and your brain might recognize that subconsciously, even if you don't.

But I have really good news for you, all first drafts are shit.

You choose your favorite author, Steven King first draft is shit. JK Rowlings, all her drafts are shit, even the ones that got published. But in both of those cases, the drafts you read wasn't the first one.

I am currently posting a story, I think the version I am posting is the 6th draft. And judging by the fact no one is reading it, that draft might still be shit. But it's better than the first draft I wrote three years ago. 

You seem to be putting a bunch of pressure on yourself to be perfect right out of the gate without putting in the work. Hemmingway famously said writing is rewriting. So why would you think your first draft would be any better than anyone elses? 

I know all my first drafts needs a ton of work. If you ask my current editor, he'd say even my 6th draft needed a lot of work. But the fun of writing for me is actually the process of going back over the narrative multiple times, changing, re-working, adding to the overall story. 

Have you ever let anyone read your first draft? If not, that could be a good way to gain fresh perspective on the story as a whole. 

Either way, I can assure you the story gets better and better each time you go through the process of re-writing. Or you can be like most of the Nifty writers and just throw up the first draft and move on to the next. I do urge you to read through the first draft critically, see what's good, what sucks, and what can be improved upon. Keep the good, cut the bad, and reshape what can be improved upon. 

Anyways, that's my two cents, and please take this comment in the spirit of how I intended it, just giving you another way to look at your own work. 

J 

 

 

Believe me, I know damn well that my first draft (the Sims version) is garbage which is why I never posted it on any Sims websites. I was actually going through it a little bit the other day and all I could really see were things that I wanted to do differently. Even with the improvements I've made over the 12 and a half years I've been working on it, there's still a ton of exposition dumps (especially in the second half), character arcs that go nowhere, unnecessary graphic sex scenes just for the sake of having them, ellipses where there are supposed to be commas, probably a lot of typos and grammatical errors, the character of Damien Marshall in my early EARLY drafts was basically the male Bella Swan because my main focus was the dynamic between the two muscle bear teachers plus, I was scared of digging deep into my own high school experience and the trauma and drama that came out of it to actually make him a relatable character, he ended up being what was essentially a human plot device. 

I've had friends of mine read the first draft and the consensus is that it has a lot of potential but it also needs a lot of work, and that's what I'm trying to accomplish with the draft that I'm posting here in dribs and drabs, I'm trying to make this unpublishable mess that was my first draft into something potentially publishable. 

[Jason Rimbaud]

9 minutes ago, FV2112 said:

Believe me, I know damn well that my first draft (the Sims version) is garbage which is why I never posted it on any Sims websites. I was actually going through it a little bit the other day and all I could really see were things that I wanted to do differently. Even with the improvements I've made over the 12 and a half years I've been working on it, there's still a ton of exposition dumps (especially in the second half), character arcs that go nowhere, unnecessary graphic sex scenes just for the sake of having them, ellipses where there are supposed to be commas, probably a lot of typos and grammatical errors, the character of Damien Marshall in my early EARLY drafts was basically the male Bella Swan because my main focus was the dynamic between the two muscle bear teachers plus, I was scared of digging deep into my own high school experience and the trauma and drama that came out of it to actually make him a relatable character, he ended up being what was essentially a human plot device. 

I've had friends of mine read the first draft and the consensus is that it has a lot of potential but it also needs a lot of work, and that's what I'm trying to accomplish with the draft that I'm posting here in dribs and drabs, I'm trying to make this unpublishable mess that was my first draft into something potentially publishable. 

You really have peaked my curiosity. You say you are posting things here and there, would you mind providing me where, I'm really curious to read whatever you are sharing online. The idea of being trapped between two muscle bear teachers is intriguing. Plus I love to read about other writers processes because mine is so different bassackwards . 

J 

[FV2112]

1 hour ago, Jason Rimbaud said:

You really have peaked my curiosity. You say you are posting things here and there, would you mind providing me where, I'm really curious to read whatever you are sharing online. The idea of being trapped between two muscle bear teachers is intriguing. Plus I love to read about other writers processes because mine is so different bassackwards . 

J 

my book is in my signature on here, but in case it isn't showing up for you, 
 

 

[Jason Rimbaud]

God I'm dumb, I'm already reading that story, commented on it as well. It's hard for me to see the tiny words on my phone. I'm caught up too. Your first draft couldn't have been that bad..  

Edited March 10, 2025 by Jason Rimbaud

[FV2112]

21 minutes ago, Jason Rimbaud said:

God I'm dumb, I'm already reading that story, commented on it as well. It's hard for me to see the tiny words on my phone. I'm caught up too. Your first draft couldn't have been that bad..  

I'm really glad you seem to be enjoying it so far  

[Mike Carss]

On 3/9/2025 at 5:41 PM, Thirdly said:

First, focus on what YOU want to do and where your enjoyment is.

Yes! This is so incredibly important for any creative endeavour. If you're not inspired by whatever you're creating, it'll be shit regardless of the number of drafts. Write for YOU first. If someone else happened to enjoy what you've created, consider that a bonus.