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Posted
James McAvoy you goat man

 

Bravo, Red A!

 

My avatar is Mr. Tumnus from the Walt Disney flic The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. Mr. Tumnus is a faun (from Roman mythology - half-man, half-goat). He's well hooved, I tell you. :P

 

I'm a huge C.S. Lewis fan.

 

James McAvoy, a Scotish actor, played Mr. Tumnus. James also played Leto Artreides II in the movie Children of Dune. What a hottie, I tell you. 0:) No, he doesn't look so hot as Mr. Tumnus, but check out the Dune flic.

 

Conner

 

...now back to your regularly schedulled programming. Thanks, CJ!

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Posted

I don't know how anyone else read it, but Eric's speech came over as just so incredibly false.... It was way too contrived and sounded like it had been rehearsed. It was almost like he tried to hit them with so much that Chris and Steve would be confused.

 

As for his coming out, that was the fakest part in the whole monologue.... It didn't sound sincere at all. It was more like a throw-in -- "if they don't feel sympathetic after all that claptrap, maybe if I'm also gay they'll forgive me as part of the bonds of gay brotherhood."

 

I'm looking forward to the next few chapters. :D

Posted
I don't know how anyone else read it, but Eric's speech came over as just so incredibly false.... It was way too contrived and sounded like it had been rehearsed. It was almost like he tried to hit them with so much that Chris and Steve would be confused.

 

As for his coming out, that was the fakest part in the whole monologue.... It didn't sound sincere at all. It was more like a throw-in -- "if they don't feel sympathetic after all that claptrap, maybe if I'm also gay they'll forgive me as part of the bonds of gay brotherhood."

 

I'm looking forward to the next few chapters. :D

 

 

Something else about Eric's "fessing up" scene bothered me. At the beginning of the Chapter, Mr. Williams warned Chris and Steve NOT to tell Eric they knew about the footprints around the datastick. Yet in this scene, Steve and Chris confront Eric about the footprints, the food wrapper and everything. I'm afraid they may have given Eric too much rope. Will he slip the noose? :unsure:<_< Hmmm, but then again, they WANT Eric to steal back the datastick now.

 

Does anyone remember the old "Laugh-In" schtick "Veeeerrry Interesting"

 

 

Rick

Posted
I don't know how anyone else read it, but Eric's speech came over as just so incredibly false.... It was way too contrived...As for his coming out, that was the fakest part in the whole monologue....

I'm looking forward to the next few chapters. :D

 

Agree completely. Eric is way too slippery.

 

I'm sure the stolen credit cards will come home to roost. That little detail has been hanging around like a day-old booger. :blink:

 

Good chapter!

 

Jack B)

Posted

I'm sure the stolen credit cards will come home to roost. That little detail has been hanging around like a day-old booger. :blink:

 

Jack, you authors have such a way with metaphors! :lmao:

 

Conner

Posted (edited)
Yes, yes, Steve, it appears you do. :2thumbs: Before you spill the beans, though, what's the connection between my avatar and the movie "Children of Dune"?

 

Oh right! This is CJ's thread. 0:):P Hmmmm....my thoughts on Eric coming out...well, his explanation is believeable to a certain extent. The blackmail is a stretch if he's being honest, though. At this point, I don't believe him.

 

If Eric didn't hide the data stick, then it was certainly made to look like he did - which would mean it's a set-up of some kind. But for what purpose? Who did bury it there? :wacko:

 

I know! Let's have another pool party! :devil:0:)

Conner

Well, I knew about Connor's Avatar, but had to keep my mouth shut (Goat code of silence, ya know...) :P

 

All I can say on the data stick and Eric is that this whole scenario (the major parts) were planned from the start. :devil:

Things do change as I write though. For example, the pursuit and shooting in "Race with the devil" plus the letter that triggered it all occurred to me while I was writing one sentence: Veronica telling Steve, at the first pool party, "Don't **** it up this time, Blondie". I had no idea the "this time" would be there, it just appeared, but I thought of the rest of it on the spot.

 

Thanks Connor!

I don't know how anyone else read it, but Eric's speech came over as just so incredibly false.... It was way too contrived and sounded like it had been rehearsed. It was almost like he tried to hit them with so much that Chris and Steve would be confused.

 

As for his coming out, that was the fakest part in the whole monologue.... It didn't sound sincere at all. It was more like a throw-in -- "if they don't feel sympathetic after all that claptrap, maybe if I'm also gay they'll forgive me as part of the bonds of gay brotherhood."

 

I'm looking forward to the next few chapters. :D

Hi Graeme!!

 

All i can say on the above is

Nothing, because I don't want to be a pincushion!

 

Thanks!!!

Something else about Eric's "fessing up" scene bothered me. At the beginning of the Chapter, Mr. Williams warned Chris and Steve NOT to tell Eric they knew about the footprints around the datastick. Yet in this scene, Steve and Chris confront Eric about the footprints, the food wrapper and everything. I'm afraid they may have given Eric too much rope. Will he slip the noose? :unsure:<_< Hmmm, but then again, they WANT Eric to steal back the datastick now.

 

Does anyone remember the old "Laugh-In" schtick "Veeeerrry Interesting"

Rick

Good catch on the footprints issue! :2thumbs:

Thanks Rick!!

Agree completely. Eric is way too slippery.

I'm sure the stolen credit cards will come home to roost. That little detail has been hanging around like a day-old booger. :blink:

Good chapter!

Jack B)

I'm with Connor: You sure have a way with metaphores there! :2thumbs:

BTW, keep an eye on Jack's sig line: See "Life's a Grind" there? Keep an eye on it, it's coming soon, and I know a little about it, and it's going to be GREAT! :2thumbs:

 

OK, I just want to say that I love reading what you all have to say on this, and I read every bit of every post in this thread. Thank you all so much for being here, as this is a HUGE motivation for writing and I can't thank you all enough! :wub:

 

However, I just wanted to warn everyone: If it looks like I'm ignoring what you had to say about the story, I'm not. I often cannot reply without giving away spoilers. (and with the Echidna lurking about, that could be hazardous to my health). :P

 

This will be especially true over the next few chapters, as many things that have been hinted at in the story all along develop in full.

I'll read asl always, and reply if I can, though. Plus, we can always have fun by plotting on how to catch and sell Jack Frost. (hi, Jack! :devil: )

 

Anyway, I just wanted to thank everyone, this means more to me than you can know. And one effect it had is it spurred me to catch up in my writing and get a few chapters ahead, so that now I hope we can avoid any further posting delays (and special thanks go out to Emoe and shdowgod on this!).

 

Thanks again everyone. :wub:

Edited by C James
Posted

THREE DAY WEEKEND!

 

That was very nearly the title of the last chapter, or should have been.

 

Emoe posted a question a while back: How many Saturdays in a weekend?

 

I couldn't explain at the time without spoilers but now I can! I'd written chapters 14 and 15 as a 3-day weekend of a somewhat unusual sort.

 

The ORIGINAL TIMELINE went like this: pool party was on Saturday. They stayed overnight, and got up the next morning at Veronica's, had breakfast, lounged around until afternoon, went home, had the awkward family dinner, went to bed that night, and got up the NEXT morning to go to Sunday services.

 

Well, Emoe caught it. (THANK YOU EMOE!!!). So I did a quick change of a few paragraphs to change the timeline, and Emoe fixed a few references that I'd missed.

 

Yep, I'd written a 3-day weekend; either two Saturdays, or two Sundays. :lmao:

Posted

I think your just tuning into your readers want for a four-day work-week. That way when the campaign posters go out you'll be a hoof-in.

 

:devil:

 

 

THREE DAY WEEKEND!

 

That was very nearly the title of the last chapter, or should have been.

 

Emoe posted a question a while back: How many Saturdays in a weekend?

 

I couldn't explain at the time without spoilers but now I can! I'd written chapters 14 and 15 as a 3-day weekend of a somewhat unusual sort.

 

The ORIGINAL TIMELINE went like this: pool party was on Saturday. They stayed overnight, and got up the next morning at Veronica's, had breakfast, lounged around until afternoon, went home, had the awkward family dinner, went to bed that night, and got up the NEXT morning to go to Sunday services.

 

Well, Emoe caught it. (THANK YOU EMOE!!!). So I did a quick change of a few paragraphs to change the timeline, and Emoe fixed a few references that I'd missed.

 

Yep, I'd written a 3-day weekend; either two Saturdays, or two Sundays. :lmao:

  • Site Administrator
Posted

I don't know if it has been bugging anyone else, but there was on section that bothered me when I read it in the story:

 

Dex was about to answer when a shadow crossing the table caused him to pause. We all glanced up to see an unfamiliar middle-aged guy standing by our table, fidgeting nervously, "Uh, hi," He said, looking at me, "are you Chase?"

 

I shook my head, "Nope, Maybe you have me confused with someone else?"

 

"Yeah, sorry." He replied, glancing again at Steve and then me before leaving via the sidewalk.

 

This just seemed so out of place. I know it happens in real-life but it seemed to have little point in the story, so I'm guessing that it is going to mean something in the future. Who was middle-aged guy and why did he ask the question? The name was interesting -- Chase -- since Chris had been involved in a car chase recently. Also, Chris had just had his hair dyed, so he would be looking different. Was the question really a code phrase?

 

Why was this in the story? Any theories?

Posted

I'm of two minds on the whole 'Eric" issue. First and foremost I don't trust that wiley little git as far as I can throw him. That said his argument has its merits. Could repressed sexuality and feelings of self rage lead to the behavior Eric displays? I think it is plausible, look at studies done on homophobia, where test subjects who Have the most outspoken 'con' stance on the subject, where often the most affected sexually when viewing explicit homosexual material. Just some food for thought.

 

True he could always be a bad seed, but how could the same enviroment and upbringing cuase such wild diferences?

 

For the sake of my argument I wont note the vast differences between my brother and I. :P

 

Steve

Posted

NOTE: First post in FIVE days! Its be a helluva week! :wacko:

 

Yep, I'd written a 3-day weekend; either two Saturdays, or two Sundays.
Had to be two Saturdays or they would
Posted
I think your just tuning into your readers want for a four-day work-week. That way when the campaign posters go out you'll be a hoof-in.

:devil:

 

Shhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Stop spilling the beans!!! :P

 

I don't know if it has been bugging anyone else, but there was on section that bothered me when I read it in the story:

This just seemed so out of place. I know it happens in real-life but it seemed to have little point in the story, so I'm guessing that it is going to mean something in the future. Who was middle-aged guy and why did he ask the question? The name was interesting -- Chase -- since Chris had been involved in a car chase recently. Also, Chris had just had his hair dyed, so he would be looking different. Was the question really a code phrase?

 

Why was this in the story? Any theories?

 

Ohhh! I have theories!! I have theories!! But it's probably better that I <eying the spines nervously> keep them to myself. :P

 

I'm of two minds on the whole 'Eric" issue.

So am I, but it's probably just my multiple personality disorder kicking in again...

NOTE: First post in FIVE days! Its be a helluva week! :wacko:

 

Wow! Five days? Good grief, for a postaholic like you that's nearly an eternity! :P

 

Seriously though, sorry you had such a horrible week!

 

Had to be two Saturdays or they would
Posted
Wait a minute...you updated and I didn't even notice? :blink:

 

Ch 15 (Homecoming) is up, as of Tuesday, so it looks likely.

 

It's in big print in my sig, but, the fact that you didn't notice proves that either you are a candidate for Veronica's bleach bottle, or, I really am a lurker. I'll let you choose which one. :devil:

 

(and I am a lurker.. really I am! :ph34r: )

Posted

Bring on the bleach. You'll be hard pressed to get all of the black out of my hair. :P

 

Maybe I did see it but I didn't notice it...my brain was probably asleep then...

 

It must be my birthday gift...thanks. :P

 

I like the chapter...as usual. Apart from the pool thing, the data stick setup, and Eric's bullcraps...nothing much happening there. Just to build up the steam before hitting climax. :D

Posted

Could CJames be misleading us poor readers with the whole Eric situation? The first person narrative allows him to have Eric depicted as a nasty little bastard. And everybody siding against him. The fact that he'd actually be telling the truth would be quite a plot twist. Deception, lies, mean siblings. This is antic drama! :2thumbs:

Posted

I'm honored to say that C James gave me a birthday gift...Chapter 16. :P

 

So the title for Chapter Sixteen is....

Like I'll tell you, go ask CJames, not me.

 

 

:D

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Posted

Congratulations, C James!



 

:king: :king: :king: :king: :king:

 

"For The Love" did extremely well in the Member's Choice awards, as did your anthology entries.

 

:music::music::music::music::music:

 

You should be very proud :great:

Posted
Could CJames be misleading us poor readers with the whole Eric situation? The first person narrative allows him to have Eric depicted as a nasty little bastard. And everybody siding against him. The fact that he'd actually be telling the truth would be quite a plot twist. Deception, lies, mean siblings. This is antic drama! :2thumbs:

 

What? Me, mislead people? 0:)

 

I'm honored to say that C James gave me a birthday gift...Chapter 16. :P

 

So the title for Chapter Sixteen is....

Like I'll tell you, go ask CJames, not me.

 

:D

 

Jack can't tell you the title, because I haven't made up my mind on that yet! LoL!

 

"For The Love" did extremely well in the Member's Choice awards, as did your anthology entries.

 

:music::music::music::music::music:

 

You should be very proud :great:

 

:*)

 

Thanks Graeme! Actually, in all seriousness, I am very proud of what WE have done here, as this is very much a team effort.

Emoe, my editor, for tireless and often difficult work, for encouraging me so often, and helping me so much (including thinking of the title, and so much more!). :hug:

shdowgod, my anonymous beta reader, who is far more than a beta reader, and who has given me help and guidance along the way (and encouraged me to actually put FTL online). :hug:

For you too Graeme, for help and advice along the way, :hug:

For my really anonymous adviser on some critical issues, (who will "come out of the closet" sooner or later, never fear). :hug:

Bondwriter, for catching the final errors that I make, and for his unfailing support, :hug:

To Everyone, one and all, (and there are far too many to list, and I'd undoubtedly miss out someone) who have posted, PM'd, reviewed, emailed comments and advice, To those who encouraged me to get back into writing, and to the many who have helped me along the way, :hug:

 

Thank you all, and a special thanks to Ed Wooton, my late friend, editor, and mentor, who helped me with the early draft of the first four chapters of FTL (and a couple of other stories) several years ago. I miss you, Ed, I always will.

 

CJ

Posted

Okay . . . That was wholly weird. Cops and Sheriff from Piedmont must be REALLY desperate for that data thingy. BTW, I loved the idea of the bootlegger's tunnels. :great:

 

Now, who the hell are Chase and Shawn anyhow? :huh:

 

Rick

Posted

Wow, this gets curiouser and curiouser. :wacko:

 

But what about the title - Storm warning? ^_^

 

If this wasn't the storm, then what is? :o

 

Can't wait 'till next week! :worship:

Posted
Okay . . . That was wholly weird. Cops and Sheriff from Piedmont must be REALLY desperate for that data thingy. BTW, I loved the idea of the bootlegger's tunnels. :great:

 

Now, who the hell are Chase and Shawn anyhow? :huh:

Rick

 

Thanks!!

The old bootlegger's tunnels were based on real ones that exist in some similar Arizona towns. In the old downtown block, they would connect the basements, and often outbuildings as well, for the delivery of both supplies and customers to a "speakeasy" located in the basement of one of the buildings. The buildings adjoin on each side, so this was fairly easy to do, and being a mining area, plenty of people knew how to build tunnels.

 

Wow, this gets curiouser and curiouser. :wacko:

 

But what about the title - Storm warning? ^_^

 

If this wasn't the storm, then what is? :o

 

Can't wait 'till next week! :worship:

 

Thanks!!

The title was originally "Prelude", but I picked "Storm Warning" at the last second as I thought it fit better.

This definitly was not the storm, but it is a sure sign that the storm is brewing.

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Posted
Now, who the hell are Chase and Shawn anyhow?

 

If I was to venture a guess, I would have to say those names may be code names used by the Piedmont cops, or whoever is behind the whole setup. The guys who approached the boys where there to keep an eye on their movements. Hence, the chase. Shawn, I have no clue.

 

Tip of the Iceberg might have worked as a title also. So far, all we know is what's on the surface of this mystery. It's whats under the surface that we can't see yet.

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