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9.11 - 24. Chapter 24
August 3, 2001
I stood on the pavement, watching my dad’s Gulfstream taxi toward the FBO. I was trying to be relaxed and calm, but I was having a hard time with that. Kai picked up on my mood, which didn’t surprise me. The past few days had been magical, and we had become totally tuned in to each other. It was like we knew what the other person was thinking. I always thought that would bother me, to have someone know me that well, but amazingly enough, I was enjoying it. “Dude, relax,” he said.
“Not easy for me to do around my mother,” I said. “We haven’t always gotten along real well.”
“She’s coming out here to see you. That must mean something,” he said.
“I guess,” I agreed reluctantly. I had let myself get totally wound up about her coming to visit, and I’d all but decided that the only reason she was doing it was to give Hank a vacation to Hawaii while she came to browbeat me about something. The plane got to its designated spot and the engines powered down, even as the ground crew put chocks under the wheels. We hurried out to stand at the bottom, waiting for the stairs to extend so they could get off.
Hank came off the plane first, and shot me a big smile when she saw me, one that I enthusiastically returned. “Hey there!” she said, and gave me one of her massive bear hugs. I was glad that the hug relieved me of the necessity of shaking her hand.
“It’s good to see you!” I said sincerely. “Welcome to Hawaii.”
“Looks pretty,” she said.
Mom was next, carrying Maddy. I gave her a less enthusiastic hug, telling myself that I did that because she was holding Maddy, but then I took Maddy from her. It was so awesome to see Maddy light up when she saw me. “Mom, Hank, this is Kai,” I said, introducing them.
“I’m Jeanine, and this is Hank,” my mother said gracefully. I was so glad to see she was on her best behavior. I almost laughed as Kai cringed when Hank shook his hand.
“And this is Maddy,” I said.
“Hey Maddy,” he said, and flicked her nose with his finger, getting a big smile in return.
I heard the stairs creaking and turned to see Dad and Robbie walking down. I had expected Dad to come, but didn’t know Robbie was coming with him. My mom took Maddy back so I could go welcome them, and handed her off to the nurse that was with them. “Hey!” I said, and gave them both warm hugs. “I didn’t know you were coming with him,” I said to Robbie.
“I wanted to see this house you bought, and meet this hot guy who’s keeping you locked away on this island,” Robbie said.
“Kai, this is Robbie,” I said, introducing them. “See, he is totally hot,” I said to Robbie in a hoarse whisper.
Kai blushed furiously at that, while Robbie chuckled. “He certainly is,” Robbie said.
A limousine pulled up, and Dad told the pilots which bags to put in it. “They’re going to take your mother, Hank, and Maddy over to the hotel to get settled in, then bring them over to the house,” Dad said. “Pop and I were going to stay with you, so we figured we’d just drive back with you and Kai.”
“Sounds good,” I agreed. I said goodbye to Mom, Hank, and Maddy as they climbed into the limo, along with the nurse, then went with Kai to go get the 4Runner.
“They’re staying with us? We’ll have to be quieter,” he said, leering at me. He was a wild man in bed, and we were both pretty damn loud.
“Dude, our noise is part of the deal. They don’t like it, they can stay at the hotel,” I said somewhat arrogantly, even though I would probably be quieter anyway. “Let my dad drive.”
“Why? What’s wrong with the way I drive?”
“Nothing, but he’s a control freak. It’s his thing,” I said. “He likes to drive, because it makes him think he’s in charge.”
“Fine,” he said.
We loaded Dad and Robbie, along with their shit, into the 4Runner, and took them back to the house. “So when are you planning to come back to Palo Alto?” Dad asked.
“School starts on the 24th, and that’s a Friday,” I said. I sounded annoyed, because I was. What school starts classes on a Friday, before a fucking weekend? “I figured that I’d come back on the 18th.” I saw Kai get sad when I said that, and I felt the same way that he did. We’d only have two more weeks together.
“I’ll plan to send the plane to get you then,” Dad said, evidently pleased with my response. He was probably expecting me to wait until the 23rd. But I knew I had some relationships to patch up with Grandmaman and Aunt Claire, so I figured I could try to work that out, plus I wanted to hang out with John before school started to make sure we were still cool, and that Marie hadn’t convinced him I was the anti-Christ.
We got to the house and Kai made some lame excuse about needing to go home to get something. He was just trying to avoid being around my intense family. I rolled my eyes, gave him a nice kiss, and helped Dad and Robbie carry their stuff into the guest room. I didn’t show them through the main house yet, because I knew I’d have to do that when Mom got here, so they threw on their bathing suits and joined me by the pool.
I excused myself and went inside to make Dad and Robbie gin and tonics. I grabbed a coke for myself, and carried them out to the table. “Here you go,” I said pleasantly, and handed them the drinks.
“Thanks,” Robbie said, as he took a drink and kicked back.
Dad took a sip and gave me a really dirty look. “What?” I challenged.
“You have a bar here?”
“You have a drink in your hand, and you wouldn’t if I didn’t have a bar, so it’s a good thing that I do,” I said. Robbie chuckled, while Dad frowned. “It’s not like I get fucked up every night.”
“Just because you’re emancipated doesn’t mean you can drink,” he said self-righteously.
I stood up, took his drink, and dumped it into the pool. “There, are you happy now?” I challenged. We glared at each other, while Robbie was trying not to laugh his ass off.
“I like this place,” Robbie said. “It’s really peaceful.”
“It usually is,” I snapped, still glaring at my father.
“I heard about the changes to your house plans,” Dad said.
“What changes?”
“The changes to your master bedroom,” he said.
“Who told you?” I demanded, and now I was really pissed off. There could only be one answer to that, and it had to be Stef. He was in for some serious shit the next time I saw him.
He chose to ignore my question. “Do you think it’s appropriate for a fifteen year old to have a sex room?”
“If the only reason you came over here was to piss me off, you have achieved your goal,” I said to him, so mad I was barely able to avoid yelling. “Since your plane is still here, feel free to take it and fly your ass back home.”
“Knock it off!” Robbie said, and I was waiting for him to lay into me, but instead he turned to Dad. “You’re just trying to piss him off. This is bullshit.”
“You think it’s alright for him to have a stocked bar and a sex room at his house?” Dad demanded.
“You think it’s reasonable for you to show up for a visit and start raking him over the coals for offering us a drink?” Robbie asked him. “You’re mad at him for being a good host?” Robbie had tried to intervene to keep us from arguing, but Dad wasn’t listening, and I was too pissed off to let this go.
“If you don’t like it here, you can get the fuck out,” I said to Dad firmly. “It’s my house, and I don’t have to put up with you and your bullshit here. So you can keep your fucking opinions to yourself, and keep your fucking mouth shut, or you can grab your fucking bag, call a fucking limo, and go back to fucking California!” I was screaming at him by the time I’d finished that last sentence. “Are we fucking clear?”
He stood up so we were eyeball to eyeball, glaring at each other. “You’ve made yourself very clear,” he said, and stormed off back into his room.
I sat at the table with Robbie, but my pulse was racing because I was still so angry. Robbie didn’t say anything; he just sipped his drink and sat there serenely, taking in the scenery. His calm demeanor ultimately helped sap my anger, and it dawned on me that he was doing the same thing to me he probably did to my father. I took a deep breath, let it out, and focused on him. “I am so glad you got a chance to make it out here.”
“This place is amazing!” he said as he gazed out at the ocean.
“Tomorrow, you can watch us surf,” I told him. “You can see really well from that gazebo.”
He gave me his adorable grin. “You really think having a room with a sling at your age isn’t just a little over the top?”
He wasn’t being an asshole; he was giving me shit in a funny kind of way, so I responded in kind. “Do you enjoy yours?”
“I do,” he said, and then he blushed a little, which just made him cuter.
“So what kinds of sex toys are appropriate for a guy my age?” I asked. “How big can the dildo be? Can it vibrate?”
“I think it is inappropriate for someone your age to have a dildo longer than eight inches and greater than one inch in diameter, while vibrating motion must be kept to a minimum,” he said officiously, as if he was quoting from a manual. We both started laughing our asses off.
“It’s not like I’m going to have a big orgy or anything, I just thought it might be kind of fun,” I said. “Besides, even if I had it right now, I wouldn’t need to use it.”
“So you like this guy, eh?” he asked.
“I like this guy,” I said.
“And he’s not a hustler?”
“He’s not a hustler,” I confirmed. Dad chose that moment to re-emerge from the house, carrying a fresh drink with him. He walked over and sat at the table, but neither Robbie nor I said anything to him.
“Did you find out what he does in the evenings when he can’t be with you?” Dad asked in a bitchy tone. I decided that my best response to him would be to ignore him, so I did.
“So this guy bails on you during the evenings?” Robbie asked.
“That was part of the deal,” I explained to him. “He can’t be here between six and eleven at night.” It bugged the shit out of my dad that I responded to Robbie and not to him.
“What’s he doing?” Robbie asked.
“He takes care of his father,” I told him. “He’s got muscular dystrophy, and he’s confined to a wheelchair. Kai’s mom works at night at a restaurant, so Kai makes sure he eats, watches TV and hangs out with him, and helps him get to bed.” I didn’t even glance at my dad as I said that.
“Sounds like he’s a good son,” Robbie said.
“He is, and his father seems to appreciate that, and him,” I said, and couldn’t help but sound smarmy as I did. “Your friend Keenan is his cousin.”
Robbie blushed, and my dad actually chuckled at that. “Keenan is a good guy too,” Robbie finally said.
“I should invite him over,” I teased. Dad laughed at that, and so did Robbie. We didn’t say much after that; we just enjoyed the view, and the balmy tropical breeze.
My mother showed up with Hank, and that served to put a close to our unpleasant conversation. “We thought we’d come over and see your house while Maddy was napping,” my mother said.
“That sounds like a good idea,” I agreed. I hoped there would come a time when I would be comfortable and relaxed around my mother, but I wasn’t there yet.
“This place is incredible!” Hank said effusively as she walked out onto the pool deck.
“Let me show you around,” I said, and led them first out to the gazebo, then through the guesthouse. Hank liked the décor, which cracked me up, but I managed to keep my laughter internal. I really liked Hank, but there was no denying that she was pretty tacky.
I took them all into the main house, where the construction team had actually made some good progress. The travertine tile was down in some of the rooms, while the painting was going along as well. We went into the kitchen, which was where most of the work had been going on. There and the bathrooms, since they’d evidently need the most work to finish off. “The kitchen cabinets are supposed to be installed next week,” I told them, “and then they’ll put in the appliances.”
“I love this floor,” Mom said. “What color are the cabinets?”
I showed her a sample and she looked less than impressed. “They’re pretty dark,” she said.
“I like them,” Hank said. Again, I bit back my laughter. They must indeed be pretty masculine. We went into the master bedroom and I showed them the bathroom and how it was being configured. They all seemed anxious to go into my closet, and to go into the sealed off alcove.
“So is this your sex room?” my mother asked acidly, as she walked into the room.
“What?” Hank asked.
“This is the room Will plans to convert into a sexual playground, with bondage equipment and everything,” my mother said to Hank scornfully.
I felt my emotions flying off into at least a hundred different directions, but the one that was front and center was anger. Somehow, in an almost immediate way, I managed to channel that into logical thought. I’d have to ponder how I did that later, because it was pretty useful. My father had an almost smarmy expression on his face, while Robbie looked seriously annoyed. Hank simply looked appalled. “I’m not converting this into a sex room,” I lied to her.
“You’re not?” she asked.
“I’m not,” I said. “I just wanted to freak a few people out. It’s been a very interesting rumor, and it’s helped me figure out who I can trust, and who I can’t.” I stared firmly at my father as I said those last few words, and he just stood there, realizing how his bitchy little gesture had truly pissed me off. “It’s a great addition, though. As a closet, I’ll be able to store stuff away I won’t normally use.”
“You can never have too much closet space,” Hank said, validating me.
“I was hoping one of these rooms would be finished off enough that we could put Maddy in here during the day, when she napped,” Mom said.
“That’s not a good idea. There’s construction going on, so it won’t be safe. But you can put her in the guest room in the guest house,” I said.
“I thought Robbie and your father were staying there,” she said.
“No, Dad decided that he’d rather stay in Kapalua. He likes it over there. It’s where all the nouveau riche snobs hang out,” I said. I looked squarely at him. “Were you planning to have Scott come and get you, or did you need me to call a car for you?”
“We’ll just have the limo drop us off after it takes your mother and Hank back to the hotel,” Robbie said, since my father seemed to be speechless for once.
“That sounds great,” I said.
“Speaking of that, we should head back,” Mom said. “I don’t want to leave Maddy there for too long with just the nurse.” The nurse did great with Maddy, and it’s not that my mom didn’t trust her, she was just overprotective when it came to Maddy.
“I’ll make sure there’s a crib here for her,” I told her. “When you come back tomorrow morning, we’ll have everything set up.”
“Are we still surfing in the morning?” Dad asked.
“I am, I’m not sure what you’re doing,” I said dismissively. I gave Mom and Hank hugs and kisses on the cheek, while Dad and Robbie went to get their bags. When they got to the limo, I gave Robbie a nice hug, then walked away from my dad, leaving him standing there looking like an idiot. That was appropriate, since he was.
I walked back inside, made myself a drink with lots of rum in it, then went back to sit by the pool. I was angry at so many levels, and at so many people. First of all, I was mad at Malcolm for telling Stef what I was doing with the alcove, but I’d probably get over that. Since Malcolm had been working so closely with Stef on things, he’d feel it was important to clue Stef in. He didn’t really have to tell Stef what I had planned, though, but I pegged Malcolm for a gossipy kind of guy, like Stef, so it didn’t really surprise me all that much. I was really angry with Stef for telling my father. Did he tell Dad everything I confided to him? Was he just one big pipeline of information from me to my father? It was really sad to think that I couldn’t trust Stef, that I’d have to keep my guard up around him. I felt a tear fall down my cheek, and wiped it away angrily. Then there was my father, who bore the brunt of my rage. What the fuck was he thinking, telling my mother about this? He knew how tense our relationship was, and how hard it was for me to be around her. He knew this was just the kind of shit that would freak her out, and really send her into a tizzy. He also knew that she was still fragile, yet he was doing to my mother just what JJ had done to her before. He was telling her stuff to get her all riled up, and then launching her like a missile at me. I could have let his bullshit comments about this stuff flow on by, as I’d pretty much told him to go fuck himself, but this raised it to a whole new level.
My phone rang and I saw that it was my father on the caller-ID. I ignored it. He called back again, and I ignored it again. That went on for three more times, until my phone rang and the caller-ID said it was Robbie. “Hello,” I said coldly.
“Did you want to join us for dinner?” he asked me.
“No,” I said curtly.
“Well, then we’ll see you in the morning,” he said, trying to be pleasant.
“You are welcome to come over tomorrow, Dad is not,” I said firmly. “Do you think you can explain that to him, or do I have to change the code for the gates?”
“You won’t even talk to him?” he asked.
“I’ll be back in Palo Alto on the 18th. Maybe by then, I’ll be calm enough to have a conversation with him. Tell him not to hold his breath on that one, though,” I said.
“Alright,” he said, with resignation in his voice.
“Have a nice evening,” I told him, and hung up. No sooner did I hang up with him than my phone rang again. I saw that it was Stef, so I didn’t answer it. I wasn’t ready to talk to him either.
Kai came strolling onto the deck, saw my expression, and got a worried look on his face. “What’s wrong?” I stood up to give him a kiss.
“I’m so pissed off, I could kill someone,” I growled walking away. He walked up behind me and put his arms around me, then kissed my neck.
“Want to work off some of that anger?” he asked, being sexy as usual. I was irate, and really keyed up, but he was tapping into the force of my hormones, and they were pretty powerful, especially when he was the one doing the tapping.
“What did you have in mind?” I asked, flirting.
“I was thinking that I could rip your clothes off and fuck you long and hard,” he said, as he nibbled on my neck.
“That might work,” I said, laughing. He led me into the bedroom and did just that. Half an hour later, I was like a new man, and even though I was still angry, I was at least functional.
“We have to go shopping,” I announced.
“What for?” he asked. “And no, you’re not buying any more shit for our house. My mom is still freaked out about that television.”
“She doesn’t like it?” I asked, joking.
“No, she fucking loves it, and so does my dad, but they don’t want to take advantage of your generosity,” he said.
“I’m not being that nice about it,” I said. “I’m over there watching television with you, and I wanted to be able to see the screen without having to smack the side of the damn thing.”
“Yeah, especially since you didn’t know where to hit it,” he joked. I’d tried to fix the TV like he had, hitting the side of it, but nothing had happened. He’d walked up and smacked it, and the stupid thing had popped right back on.
“Whatever,” I said. “We’re not shopping for you, anyway. We have to get baby shit, a crib and stuff, for Maddy.”
“Why? I thought she was staying at the hotel?”
“She needs a place to nap when they’re hanging out here with us,” I told him.
“What about your dad and Robbie? Is there room for all of them?”
“They’re staying with Scott in Kapalua,” I told him.
“What happened?”
“My dad was giving me shit about my alcove, and I told him to go fuck himself,” I said.
He shook his head sadly. “Sorry, dude.”
“It’s no big deal. Let’s go buy this baby shit, have some dinner, then we can surf tomorrow,” I told him.
He drove us to Kahului, where we bought a crib and some other stuff for Maddy. We were headed to the dive restaurant with the good burgers when my phone rang, and it was Robbie again.
“Hello,” I answered, much more cheerfully.
“Hey, some things came up, so your dad and I are heading back to Malibu,” he said.
“That’s fine,” I said, as if I didn’t care, and at that point, I really didn’t. “Have a safe flight home.”
“We will,” he said, and hung up.
“Dad and Robbie decided to head back to California,” I said to Kai.
“Dude, you scared them away,” he joked.
“More like shamed them,” I said grumpily. I looked at my call log and saw that Stef had called me a few more times, but I figured that if he could betray my trust like that, he could satisfy himself by talking to Dad, not me.
August 3, 2001
I sat at my desk, finalizing the letter I’d been working on, and set it down in front of me. I was enjoying the solitude of my study. When I was in this room, people rarely bothered me, and if they did, it was usually important. That’s why I was somewhat surprised to see Stef come in, looking uncharacteristically flustered. “I hope I am not interrupting you,” he said.
“You are interrupting me, but it is a pleasant interruption, and you are always welcome,” I said to him with a smile. “I was just finishing up a letter.”
“Oh?” he asked, just as I’d hoped and expected he would.
“I’m resigning my position as Chair of the History Department,” I told him.
“You are leaving Stanford?” he asked, truly stunned.
“No, I am still a professor, but I am shedding the additional administrative duties of being the Chair.” He waited for me to explain, so I did. “I have enough on my plate as it is, and I’ve committed to chairing the Board of Trustees for the Claremont Technical Institute, so this seems like a good way to free up time for that without forcing me to aggressively expand my working hours.”
“What if they appoint an asshole to take your place?”
I chuckled. “I’ve got tenure. A vicious department chair could make things unpleasant, but not unbearable. Besides, I know the three candidates they’ll most likely be looking at, and I have a good rapport with all three.”
“It sounds as if you have approached this logically and systematically, and come to a sound conclusion,” he said, validating my course of action.
“Let us hope,” I said. “But as I recall, it was you who came in to see me.”
“I would like you to call Will for me,” he said.
I raised my eyebrow in surprise. Will and Stef were very close, so the only reason he would need me to call Will is if they were at odds. “And why will he not talk to you?”
“He is angry at Bradley, because Bradley raised the issue of this pleasure room he wants to build in Hawaii,” Stef said dismissively.
“That explains why he is mad at Brad, not why he is mad at you,” I noted. Stef had talked about this at dinner the other night when Brad was here. I was glad he’d had the sense not to say anything in front of Isidore and Claire, neither of whom was there. If he had, they’d have just built it into a huge issue, like they’d done with his purchase of the house.
“He is mad at me for telling Brad,” Stef admitted. “Malcolm told me, since I was working on the plans with him.”
“And you told Brad, Robbie, and me,” I said, finishing his thought.
“Do you not think that is just a bit extreme for someone his age?” Stef demanded. He was being so hypocritical, I actually laughed at him, which had the predictable impact of making him angry at me.
“I think that if the worst thing he does is have sex in a sling, I can live happily knowing he is safe,” I told him. I trusted Will’s judgment, and even though he would make mistakes, I didn’t see this as a huge blunder. In any event, I rather questioned if he’d use it all that much. My instincts told me that he probably thought it was a fun thing to have, but that he’d only go in there alone. At least most of the time.
“His libertine ways are making me question my own,” he grumbled.
“I am wondering if you think you were that much smarter than he is.” I challenged. He gave me a dirty look. “What would you have done with a room like that when you were fifteen?”
“I do not know,” he said. “What would you have done?”
I expected that he’d throw that back at me; because he knew it would embarrass me to talk about sex, so I hid my natural shyness about that topic and answered boldly. “I would have used it to masturbate. A lot.”
He looked at me and smiled, then chuckled. “I can see that.”
“You could have helped ensure that is indeed what he did with it by helping to design it, and making sure that it was suitable primarily for that purpose,” I said.
He sighed. “I could have.” He sat there for a few minutes, and then seemed resolved. “I will have to call him and see if I cannot assist him with those plans.”
“I doubt that he will talk to you, if he has not already taken your calls,” I said succinctly. “He is not mad at you about this room, he is mad at you for betraying his trust.”
“How do you know this? Have you talked to him?”
“I have not talked to him, nor do I intend to, unless he calls me,” I said firmly. “He trusted you as one of his key confidants, and now he is probably seeing you as a conduit of information straight to his father. At this point, he probably thinks that if he tells you something, you will tell Bradley. So he will not talk to you.”
He stared at me, truly horrified and upset at damaging this important relationship to him, but then he put on his rationalization guise. “This is hardly a major breech of confidentiality.”
“Perhaps not, but it is part of a pattern,” I said. “He called me not too terribly long ago when you and Bradley decided that this young man who was working for him was a male prostitute and that Will should fire him.” Stef gave me a dirty look. “You and Bradley had teamed up against him, as he saw it. And you can be angry at me for bringing this up, but it is similar to what happened in Norway, when you heeded Brad’s counsel and disregarded Will.”
He sat down in one of my leather chairs with an uncharacteristic thump. “You are trying to tell me to keep my mouth shut.”
“I am trying to tell you that if you want to have a good relationship with Will, you have to keep a wall up about his issues when you’re talking to Brad,” I said. “Until he trusts you to do that, he won’t be willing to open up to you.”
“Raising teenagers is certainly not easy,” he said, as if to blow the whole thing off.
“This has nothing to do with age, and with familial relationships,” I told him firmly. “This has to do with you curbing your tongue and maintaining the confidence of those who trust you. It’s not about Will, it is about you.”
He gave me a foul look, stood up, and stormed out of my study, but that didn’t bother me at all. I knew he’d heard what I’d said, and the only reason he was mad at me was because he knew I was right.
I sat down at my desk and prepared to work on some other things, when there was another knock at my door. I looked up to see Isidore peeking in. “I hope I am not disturbing you,” she said smoothly.
“Of course not,” I said, and got up to welcome her into the room. I gave her an affectionate hug and a kiss on each cheek, and then guided her to one of the chairs. I sat down in the other one. “What can I do for you?”
“JP, I want a divorce.”
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