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    AC Benus
  • AC Benus
  • Author
  • 02/10/2016
  • 250 Words
  • 1,453 Views
  • 13 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

One Hundred and Fifty-Five Sonnets - 4. inwards

.

Sonnet No. 7

 

The rain hits the windshield and upward streaks –

While the miles stream by, you are on my mind,

And the hollow loneliness in me speaks

Of the words of yours that are less than kind.

Why talk of these things that are hard for me –

Of a future you may have beyond my sight,

Of a poor deceived wife and family,

When both you and I know it won't be right.

The little drops are like stars, or like tears,

And form a slow-motion constellation

That glows briefly before it disappears,

Taking with it all hope of salvation.

Say you'll wipe those words away like the rain,

And condemn none of us to lasting pain.

 

 

Sonnet No. 8

 

I kneel on the chair you are sitting at,

And though the miles that split us are many,

Real is the head I now tilt as we chat,

And strong is the kiss we share as any.

It seems you are reading my thoughts; and more –

You reread and interpret them well,

So my wants and feelings you don't ignore,

And 'my magic' takes you in like a spell.

Enchanted that you just want me happy,

I think myself unable to resist,

And although I know it may sound sappy,

Just tell me what greater love can exist?

No matter the miles; no matter the words,

Real are the bonds that link us as one inwards.

 

 

_

Copyright © 2018 AC Benus; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Mikiesboy

AC, these two seem different. The language is simpler from what you normally use.
Maybe because they are sad, even though they are full of love. Seems your lover, has another life or maybe it's that there is much distance between you both and he wants to share it with you. But it's not part of your shared experience.
oh i dont know. just a feeling....
still beautifully written...

  • Like 1
J.HunterDunn

No. 7
I distinctly remember reading this sonnet for the first time, thinking "Oh no, of all the men in the world he had to fall in love with a married one, a recipe for heartache". It's such a lonely poem. all the way back home repeating the conversation over and over in your head. Words spoken that cannot become unsaid again.
Leaves me with the question who the "us" are in the last line.

 

No.8
Not sappy, but very content with just being together.
No matter the miles, no matter the words. I suppose that includes the words from no. 7. Love does forgive.

  • Like 2
AC Benus
On 2/9/2016 at 6:42 PM, Mikiesboy said:

AC, these two seem different. The language is simpler from what you normally use.

Maybe because they are sad, even though they are full of love. Seems your lover, has another life or maybe it's that there is much distance between you both and he wants to share it with you. But it's not part of your shared experience.

oh i dont know. just a feeling....

still beautifully written...

Thank you, Tim, for a great review. Yes, they are sad; a minority of these sonnets will fall in that category.

Thanks again for your support encouragement.

Edited by AC Benus
  • Like 1
AC Benus
On 2/10/2016 at 9:42 AM, Puppilull said:

No 7 was just so sad. Wishing so bad that life was different, but having to face the truth as it is shoved in your face... Bursting that bubble of make believe. I don't know if it's 'related' to no 8, but if it is they seem written in the reverse order. Or maybe just showing that wanting someone to be happy doesn't necessarily mean you refrain from hurting them.

Thank you, Puppilull. I appreciate your review and sentiments. Your review made me think about a possibly misleading wording in 7, which once I changed, hopefully brings 8 into clearer context.

Thanks again.

Edited by AC Benus
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AC Benus
On 2/10/2016 at 10:59 AM, J.HunterDunn said:

No. 7

I distinctly remember reading this sonnet for the first time, thinking "Oh no, of all the men in the world he had to fall in love with a married one, a recipe for heartache". It's such a lonely poem. all the way back home repeating the conversation over and over in your head. Words spoken that cannot become unsaid again.

Leaves me with the question who the "us" are in the last line.

 

No.8

Not sappy, but very content with just being together.

No matter the miles, no matter the words. I suppose that includes the words from no. 7. Love does forgive.

Thank you, Peter, for a great review. Please see my comments in reply to Puppilull, and also the back and forth we've had in the Live-Poets thread. And I love your input on No. 8.

Thanks for all of your wonderful support of my work. I appreciate it a ton!

Edited by AC Benus
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Aviana

Aviana 1,072

Posted (edited)

No.7 sonnet had an underlying sorrow n maybe hurt? Or pain?:unsure: I felt like u were in car driving away hurt by the words of ur beloved or maybe felt deceived....M sorry if that's the case :(

N no.8 (I m not sure if it was related to no. 7 ) but felt like u r cherishing the moment together with ur beloved, n felt quite satisfied just being able to be together...:unsure:

Both were beautifully written!!

Edited by Aviana
  • Like 2
AC Benus

AC Benus 36,633

Posted (edited)

On 7/11/2017 at 1:57 PM, Aviana said:

No.7 sonnet had an underlying sorrow n maybe hurt? Or pain?:unsure: I felt like u were in car driving away hurt by the words of ur beloved or maybe felt deceived....M sorry if that's the case :(

N no.8 (I m not sure if it was related to no. 7 ) but felt like u r cherishing the moment together with ur beloved, n felt quite satisfied just being able to be together...:unsure:

Both were beautifully written!!

Ariana, I really like your take on No. 7. it's quite close...I jotted it down in the car when it was raining slightly... 

Also with No. 8 you come close to the heart of the matter. 

Thank you for another awesome review :) 

Edited by AC Benus
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AC Benus

Here is another review from Lyssa :)

 

-------------

 

I got stuck at No. 7. It kind of sings to me and brings old memories back. The feeling of sitting alone in the car, driving a long distance with too much time to think about words that were said and which hurt so much.

 

I sometimes ask myself why we often don't see the moment coming, when we say something, which is never to be unsaid. On the other hand even hard truths have to be spelled out, for not getting lost in daydreams. And maybe it is the most precious gift we can make, to say even the hard things, so they won't get hurt through their illusions one day by them self.

The composition of your words brought the emotions forward absolute perfectly.

My favorite lines are:
The little drops are like stars, or like tears,
And form a slow-motion constellation
That glows briefly before it disappears,
Taking with it all hope of salvation

A beautiful picture that holds so much sadness and pain. These are very powerful words.
And even this poem is so sad, it magnificent in its power to make the reader feel.
Thanks for sharing this.

P.S. I am so sorry, you had to go through this feelings.

 

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AC Benus
On 9/30/2017 at 12:59 PM, AC Benus said:

I got stuck at No. 7. It kind of sings to me and brings old memories back. The feeling of sitting alone in the car, driving a long distance with too much time to think about words that were said and which hurt so much.

 

I sometimes ask myself why we often don't see the moment coming, when we say something, which is never to be unsaid. On the other hand even hard truths have to be spelled out, for not getting lost in daydreams. And maybe it is the most precious gift we can make, to say even the hard things, so they won't get hurt through their illusions one day by them self.

The composition of your words brought the emotions forward absolute perfectly.

My favorite lines are:
The little drops are like stars, or like tears,
And form a slow-motion constellation
That glows briefly before it disappears,
Taking with it all hope of salvation

A beautiful picture that holds so much sadness and pain. These are very powerful words.
And even this poem is so sad, it magnificent in its power to make the reader feel.
Thanks for sharing this.

P.S. I am so sorry, you had to go through this feelings.

 

Thank you, Lyssa. Fantastic review.

No. 7 is one of the few I can remember writing quite precisely, and as you sensed, it was done while I was in a car. The miles can seem very long in such situations, but your comments make me think the thoughts and feelings in this poem are accessible to most people.  

This is a great review, and I appreciate it a great deal. Thanks again.

Edited by AC Benus
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