TJ's journey to love - 6. Chapter 6

I stayed in the garage after Mom went into the house. I cranked on the heater Mom had installed to keep it warm. I grabbed a rag and started to wipe down the truck. We had it shipped here as Beau and I didn’t want to drive it. Dad really loved his truck. He made sure that it had room for his boys so we could go camping or hunting. We never did those things as everyone was always busy. Maybe one day we will…

I was wiping down the passenger side when I heard the door to the house open and close and set of shoes appeared.

“Teej?” Grayson called out

“Over here buddy on the other side of Dad’s truck”

He walked over and sat on the stool near the work bench.

“We need to talk.” He said

“Please don’t tell me you were dating Dylan” I reply

He giggled…”No, he’s cute and all but I like girls more.”

“What a relief… not sure I could take any more secrets.”

“You remember Jenny? You met her once or twice back home.”

“Yeah I do, she was super nice.”

“I was dating her before we moved and we decided to be friends when we moved as I wasn’t sure being just 14 how long distance would work.”

“You’re a smart man G”

“Well that’s not what I wanted to talk about. What is going on with you? You’ve become so angry since dad died and you punched Beau.”

“You know dad was my best friend. We did everything together. He knew I was gay before I did and when I struggled to tell him, he just hugged me and said I know.”

“You do realize we all miss him right? He was our dad too. I know you are grieving but taking your anger out on us isn’t right.”

“I just don’t know how I am going to move on. I lost Dad, Sebastian and Lucas all in one day.”

I realized I was rubbing one spot on the truck. I threw the rag on the bench and then hopped up for a seat.

“You know you didn’t lose Lucas, you chose that path, as for Sebastian good riddance. I love you TJ but sometimes you make dumb decisions.”

“Well tell me grandmaster what should I have done.”

He just giggled. “Well dumping Sebastian should have happened ages ago; he was bad for you. Everyone but you saw it… now that the rose colored glasses came off you see the scum he is. As for Lucas, you really need to talk to him. I can’t tell you what happened and why Beau took him back but I can tell you he didn’t cave and wasn’t cheap and easy. You don’t know how in love they are. Jenny and I went on a double date with them.”

“What I don’t get is why no one told me?”

“Dad told us not too. He knew you would have a hard time. He was planning on talking with you at the lake this summer. He wanted to be there as he knew you’d fly off the handle. I was sworn to secrecy by Beau, Mom and Dad.”

“How did you find out?”

“Well, you see… I was out with Jenny and came home earlier than expected and found them making out on the couch. I just walked into the kitchen as they didn’t notice me. I heard the garage opening and ran to let them know; little did I know that mom actually knew. Later that night before we came to sleep with you Beau and I had a talk. He told me how they had been dating for a while and that mom and dad were ok with it. ”

I sat there surprised. How did I not know my brother was in love with my bestie. I started to think about the time we spent together and it sort made sense. I recall seeing Lucas sneak glances in Beau's direction when he was over and thought he was looking at something else. Well I’m not sure why my brother would forgive him but I’m not about to.

“You know TJ, Beau can’t believe your reaction. You really messed up.” He stood-up and walked back into the house.

It is times like these that I wish Dad were here, as he wouldn’t be afraid to call me out. I guess should talk to Beau but I need to make sure my anger is in check. I sighed and went into the house.

It was eerily quiet when I walked into the house. I took my jacket and placed it in the closet.

“Where is everyone?” I called out.

I walked through the house and saw the living room doors were closed. I knocked and waited. Mom opened the doors.

“Can I talk to Beau?”

“Honey, you can but I am not sure he is comfortable being alone with you. He is afraid of you.”

Wow… I can’t believe that I scared him.

“One of the grandpas’ can join us.” I pleaded

“Beau is that ok with you?”

“No. I don’t want to talk with him right now.”

Defeated I turned and went upstairs. I went to my bed and sat down facing the window. I really messed things up. I drifted off to sleep at some point but woke to find Beau in bed with me.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. It was 2 am and I didn’t know what I should do. I decided to make Beau the little spoon and snuggled in. I could smell his strawberry shampoo. That was his trademark, the only one in the house who used it. I heard him sigh in his sleep. I fell asleep and woke up around 7 and he was still sleeping. I looked at his face and could see that his nose was swelled; my own brother the victim of my rage. Mom door opened slightly and Mom popped her head in. She saw I was awake and said she was looking for Beau and he wasn’t in his bed and was afraid he ran away. I told her I wasn’t sure when he moved into my room but around 2 is when I discovered him.

“Um Teej, could you let me go I gotta pee.” My brother is awake.

“Sure but promise to come back so we can talk.”

“I guess I can.” I released him and he ran into the hall bathroom.

He came back smelling of spearmint and still in his boxers. It was then I saw my brother in a different light. I never noticed how muscular he had gotten and was getting a small pack. It the dawned on me Lucas was always going to the gym and didn’t want me to go. Son of.. I held out my arms and he crawled back into bed with me. I pulled into a hug and started to cry.

“Beau I am so sorry I hit you and broke your nose.” I said but not sure it was coherent. Beau had tears too.

“I love you TJ but you really scared me and really hurt my feelings. I couldn’t sleep last night as I needed my brother. I almost went to sleep with Grayson.”

“You know Beau you are right. I was a total ass yesterday and you didn’t deserve the rage I was feeling. I just can’t believe I missed it. I also want you to know Mom is going to help me see a therapist. I need to be better so I stop spiraling.”

“That’s good news Teej. I love that you want to be better, I miss my big brother. “

“AWE, I love you too Beau.”

He giggled…

“Not like that you weirdo” I replied

“So how do we move on?” Beau asked?

“Well I need time with the whole Lucas thing. To find him with Sebastian and Dylan and then find out you two were dating is a lot for me. I am curious as to why you didn’t tell me you were gay. Did you think I would reject you? That would be hypocritical.”

“No, I know you love me and not in that way :giggles:: It’s just I know you know that you’re my idol and I didn’t want you to think I was copying. I also wasn’t 100% sure. I thought maybe I was bisexual or something but being with Lucas kind of sealed the deal.”

“Does he treat you right?”

“Yeah he does” my brother replied dreamily

“Well that’s what counts. I guess I am ok with it.”

“I wasn’t asking your permission as it is happening no matter what. Just now I won’t have to sneak around.”

“I can live with that. Now I just need to find someone. Speaking of… there was something that happened in New York that Mom knows but no one else does. While I was waiting for my audition I saw JC Woolery shirtless and then I was hit by a door and he helped me up. I felt some kind of electricity but it might be my imagination… someone like him wouldn’t be interested in me.”

“Well that explains the lump on your head… I thought you were growing a new head. Seriously though don’t sell yourself short. Who knows you could meet someone who changes your life in college. Remember that is where Mom and Dad met before he decided college wasn’t for him and joined the service.”

“Haha we got a funny man here.” I decided to start a tickle war. We were both laughing so hard and rolling around we fell onto the floor. Grandpa Ron was at the door instantly…

“Everything in here ok? We heard a ruckus.”

“Yes grandpa” we said in unison.

“Well get decent and come have breakfast. Grandpa Tony made a buffet for an Army and us amateurs are the only ones there.”

“Ok we will be down.” I said. I looked at Beau and smiled and we hugged and he went to get dressed.

I pulled up my email and clicked on the email from Julliard. I didn’t get too far past the beginning of the email all I saw was CONGRATULATIONS and welcome to the Class of 2050. What a relief I got in. I scanned the email and saw that we had a new school of Dance Dean a Mr. Tracy Craft. I thought Tracy was a girl’s name. I shrugged and closed the email. I got dressed and went down stairs and tried to figure out how to tell them the good news.

“Good morning honey, take a seat and eat. You missed dinner last night” Mom said. She got up and came over and kissed my head.

“Grayson slow down, the food won’t run away.” Grandpa Joe said.

“Dear he’s a teenager with 7 stomachs and empty legs.” Grandma Rose said with a smile

“Oh my… that means we got 3 boys with 21 stomachs and 6 empty legs. Good thing Tony loves to cook.” Grandpa Joe said with a smirk.

Everyone laughed. As we were eating Beau told mom we were one better terms and he kept smiling at me.

“Why don’t you share whatever news you have TJ?” Beau said

This boy is a mind reader…..

“What are you talking about Beau?”

“Umm you know.”

“No, I don’t have a clue.”

Everyone looked at us strange and began eating again.

“I got into Julliard” I said softly

“Speak up dear… what kind of jelly do you want?” Grandma asked

“Not jelly, Julliard… I got in”

There were a lot of shouts and congratulations from everyone at the table.

“Beau are you a mind reader? How did you know?”

“Well I was talking about you meeting JC Woolery but that news is better.”

“You met JC?” Grayson excited asked.

“I wouldn't call it a meeting but he helped me up after I got hit by a door and fell to the floor.”

Everyone laughed.

“Well maybe when you are in New York you will meet him. I hear that is where he lives.” Grayson said.

“Mom why does the name Tracy Craft sound familiar?”

“That is a name I haven’t heard in a while” my Frazier grandparents said.

“Why do you ask?” mom said

“He’s the new School of Dance Dean for Julliard.”

“Oh I will have to congratulate him. We went to High School together and he is a friend of Uncle Murray.” Mom said.

“You mean he’s from Cincinnati?”

“Yeah I went to school here remember? He moved to NYC to go to Julliard and that is where he reconnected with an old friend who he married.”

“Who did he marry Emily?” Grandma Rose asked

“Jaxson Woolery, you remember him Jerry Woolery’s son. He went to NYU School of Law and got his law and law doctorate and is now a big time Human Rights Lawyer in New York.” Mom said.

“I remember Jack, shame that his parents got divorced a few years ago. They are such a nice family, the Crafts too. I ran into Tracy’s mom the other day and she was going on and on about her grandchildren.” Grandma Rose said.

“TJ, we will sit down and look over what you need for school money wise I can arrange to make sure your college fund is ready to go.”

“Scholarships were mentioned in the letter but yeah we can go over it.”

Mom looked a bit relieved when I mentioned scholarships. I guess things were worse than I thought. When we listed our Potomac, Maryland house it wasn’t on the market 24 hours and we had several offers. I know mom wanted to keep the lake house in Deep Creek, MD as we used to go every summer for weeks at a time. All the Grandparents have recommended we rent it and use it when we need too. That way we have extra income. Dad never wanted to rent it as he wanted to go whenever we wanted.

I looked over at Beau and he was smiling and talking to the grandparents about Lucas. I can see in the way he talks how much he loves Lucas. I wish I had someone to talk like that about. I thought I loved Sebastian but maybe it was just lust. He had brown hair and blue eyes. When he smiled he had the cutest dimples. Let not forget that sexy Danish accent. He was born in Denmark and his parents came over here to work at Walter Reed as Doctors. He was rich too but not overly rich like Dylan’s Family. I decided I needed to think about things and went upstairs and I saw a box on my bed. I walked over and saw it was the one from Lucas. How did it land up here after I threw it out?