Since CJ is away....

[wildone]

Oh, have a got a real groaner today....

 

A man raised animals on a small farm in the Midwest. The farm was a peaceful place. Then, one day a pig was found murdered in the barn.

 

Upset, the farmer was determined to find the killer. The only witness was a rabbit. The farmer lined up all the suspects: a cow, a young goat, a horse, and a rooster. He told the rabbit to pick out the killer.

 

The rabbit hopped up and down the line. He stopped and nodded his head at the young goat. Nervously, the goat said, "I didn't do it!"

 

The farmer replied, "Hare's looking at you kid"

 

 

Steve

[Bondwriter]

If you're going to post a candle a day, then I hope you have a LOT of candle pictures....

There's no shortage from spiritual sources.

Oh, have a got a real groaner today....

 

A man raised animals on a small farm in the Midwest. The farm was a peaceful place. Then, one day a pig was found murdered in the barn.

 

Upset, the farmer was determined to find the killer. The only witness was a rabbit. The farmer lined up all the suspects: a cow, a young goat, a horse, and a rooster. He told the rabbit to pick out the killer.

 

The rabbit hopped up and down the line. He stopped and nodded his head at the young goat. Nervously, the goat said, "I didn't do it!"

 

The farmer replied, "Hare's looking at you kid"

 

 

Steve

OK, I'll kill the joke, but I didn't get it, though it's the kind I like, that you can tell to all audiences. Obviously, there's a pun with "Hare's", but what is it?

[wildone]

Hmm, how to explain.

 

I'll try it the simple way.

 

In the classic film "Casablanca", I believe the most remembered words were of Bogart uttering "Here's looking at you kid".

 

I have never seen the movie myself, but I have seen the clip of him saying those words. Quite a few movies, make reference to that line by using it as well. I believe it has been in a few sports movies as well, but it is all attributed back to Bogart.

 

So, in the joke (and I use that word loosely), the punch line is "Hare's (the rabbit) looking at you kid (young goat)!"

 

Darn, if that much explanation needs to be given, I definitely know it was a d one.

 

Hopefully the North American people got it.

 

Steve

[Bondwriter]

OK! I actually saw Casablanca, but I didn't pick up the reference. By the way, there's a nice remake with Pamela Anderson taking up HB's role. Ultimate B-series.

[BeaStKid]

Just dropping in to say Hello!!!

 

 

BeaStKid

[TalonRider]

Hopefully the North American people got it.

 

Steve

This American got it. I was actually expecting to groan at due to the opening comment. But I actually chuckled at it when I read he punch line.

 

Jan

[wildone]

Okay, I'm actually laughing out loud at this one.

 

A husband and wife that raise goats have an wedding anniversary. The husband who raises meat goats has forgotten the anniversary, his irate wife who raises milk goats (already some friction there) says "Tomorrow morning there better be something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds, or else!". Next morning there is a small package lying in the driveway. The wife opens the package, it's a bathroom scale.

 

 

Steve

[Bondwriter]

I got that one!

[EMoe57]

So what do you call a goat's beard?

 

 

 

 

A goatee

It could be his female friend

beard... get it?

[Graeme]

A husband and wife that raise goats have an wedding anniversary. The husband who raises meat goats has forgotten the anniversary, his irate wife who raises milk goats (already some friction there) says "Tomorrow morning there better be something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds, or else!". Next morning there is a small package lying in the driveway. The wife opens the package, it's a bathroom scale.

I hope those scales are in pounds and not kilograms... though I think he's in trouble anyway.

 

Okay, my post for the day... always a struggle, since I'm such a shy and unassuming person (sorry -- I couldn't resist).

 

It's Friday morning here in Melbourne. The sky is overcast and dull, but it's not raining. We still need the rain -- we had a good start to Winter, but then the rains stopped. Our water supply is lower than the same time last year, and we had serious water restrictions put in place during our last Summer as a consequence. I can see it being even worse this year, since Summer is just over a month away

 

Oh, and I know he probably won't be reading this thread, but it is Rain's 17th birthday tomorrow. Rain is the editor for my short stories and anthology entries. Like Aaron, who edits my novels, Rain is a member of the Mail Crew. Happy Birthday, Rain!

[TalonRider]

Okay, I'm actually laughing out loud at this one.

 

A husband and wife that raise goats have an wedding anniversary. The husband who raises meat goats has forgotten the anniversary, his irate wife who raises milk goats (already some friction there) says "Tomorrow morning there better be something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds, or else!". Next morning there is a small package lying in the driveway. The wife opens the package, it's a bathroom scale.

 

 

Steve

ROFLMAO. I definitely didn't see that one coming.

 

And a Happy Birthday to Rain also.

 

Jan

[Ieshwar]

Happy Birthday to Rain!

 

New day, new post! Btw, nice joke! I didn't get the last one!

 

Ieshwar

[Krista]

Ooh..! I hope CJ's trip is going smooth.

 

 

Krista

[Bob D.]

Hmm, how to explain.

 

I'll try it the simple way.

 

In the classic film "Casablanca", I believe the most remembered words were of Bogart uttering "Here's looking at you kid".

 

I have never seen the movie myself, but I have seen the clip of him saying those words. Quite a few movies, make reference to that line by using it as well. I believe it has been in a few sports movies as well, but it is all attributed back to Bogart.

 

So, in the joke (and I use that word loosely), the punch line is "Hare's (the rabbit) looking at you kid (young goat)!"

 

Darn, if that much explanation needs to be given, I definitely know it was a d one.

 

Hopefully the North American people got it.

 

Steve

 

 

"Hare's looking at you kid."

 

"Here's looking at you kid."

 

Okay... there's too puns.... First there's the Hare:Here, the second is the rabbit is looking at the "Young Goat... a Kidd? HELLO, ya'll must be in withdrawl to miss the double! hehe... going back to Lurking on behalf of the Master.

 

Bob D.

[wildone]

"Hare's looking at you kid."

 

"Here's looking at you kid."

 

Okay... there's too puns.... First there's the Hare:Here, the second is the rabbit is looking at the "Young Goat... a Kidd? HELLO, ya'll must be in withdrawl to miss the double! hehe... going back to Lurking on behalf of the Master.

 

Bob D.

 

 

Oops, I guess I'll have to take the blame on that one. I guess by mis-spelling Kidd, by using the darn spell check, it took part of the punchline away.

 

Oh well, new day, gotta find a new joke with at least one goat in it .

 

Steve

[Graeme]

Oh well, new day, gotta find a new joke with at least one goat in it .

Between Steve finding a joke a day, and Bondwriter finding a candle a day, I think we'll keep things busy until CJ can return.

[TalonRider]

I wonder what CJ would think if we didn't post anything while he was gone.

 

Jan

[EMoe57]

I wonder what CJ would think if we didn't post anything while he was gone.

Too late for that

[Bondwriter]

[wildone]

Okay, today a little racier one for you all.....

 

A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man. Old Man: "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo.."

Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea. Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it >board by board. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention. "But ya f**k one goat . . . "

 

 

Have a great day everyone

 

Steve

[Ieshwar]

 

 

Hope that CJ doesn't go to Scotland!

 

Ieshwar

[Dalmania]

Well this mesage got posted twice so I edited it and will just say I got to the less memorable post number 51 without meaning to.

 

Oh well..

Edited October 26, 2007 by Dalmania

[Dalmania]

Graeme

 

I notice all the birthday messages you post. The numbers of posts must add up quickly.

 

Are you taking advantage of CJ being away to compete on number of posts?

 

I don't think one message a day will work for you if you intend to take CJ on for busiest post-er.

 

On the other hand, for me, this rounds out my number of posts to 50!

Well worth an effort even with little to say or add to the world.

[FrenchCanadian]

Oh ya, it's been a too long time since I've added on my amount of post...

 

On the other hand, for me, this rounds out my number of posts to 50!

Well worth an effort even with little to say or add to the world.

 

geez, i'm soo far away,, and that's not comparing against some *lurkers*

[Graeme]

I notice all the birthday messages you post. The numbers of posts must add up quickly.

 

Are you taking advantage of CJ being away to compete on number of posts?

It is impossible to compete with CJ on the number of posts. I conceded that a long time ago.

 

I don't do all the birthdays; just the members that I know or have had some interaction with over the last year or so. I've been doing that for months.

 

On the other hand, for me, this rounds out my number of posts to 50!

Well worth an effort even with little to say or add to the world.

Congratulations!