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  • Site Moderator
Posted

Remind me not to apply for a job with Dimitri. The man is absolutely brutal.

 

And since I'm the one making the first comments, I'll wait until more have had a chance to read before I say more.

 

Jan

Posted
Remind me not to apply for a job with Dimitri. The man is absolutely brutal.

 

And since I'm the one making the first comments, I'll wait until more have had a chance to read before I say more.

 

Jan

 

 

B) .......The goat writes lyrics :D ......I agree great chapter...but will await til others read!

Posted

The Herd is a very intelligent lot and do not come to the chapter forum before reading the chapter. So there! :P

 

For Dimitri, the extermination of employees is more of a business decision than anything else. Think of the huge savings in salary, benefits and all the paperwork that goes with it. If he was really worried about "leaks" concerning the project, he could have simply had the not-so-good gunsmith sign a non-disclousure agreement. I believe Dimitri likely graduated from the same school of management as Eric.....that is, the Eric from the other story...the one with pool parties. :D:wub:

 

Ok, so the boss got to show off his flying skills knowledge in this chapter. Big deal!!! Boring!!! :thumbdown:

 

Other than that, that was a 2-thumbs up chapter. :2thumbs:

 

I don't believe CJ actually announced a "secret" and then revealed it in the same chapter. Bravo! See, CJ cares deeply for his fans. :great: The song lyrics were so sweet. :wub: Chase is just going to eat him up once they get off stage. :boy:

 

Given how long we had to wait for a simple kiss, I'm just wondering how many chapters will we have to wait for Chase to get laid? :devil:

 

Conner

Posted (edited)

First, good chapter as always!!! and we realized what the changing the guard meant,, it's the title of the album,,,

 

But I do have one negative comment, the showing of, of the flying knowledge. I don't mind that there was some and all, but there was so many that at some point I had to read and re-read to get through that part. I do appreciate some technical stuff, but here I think it is a little too much.

 

That being said, good chapter,, they always seems so short, :P ,

 

It does make sense that that one song was about chase, I mean he wrote it in his "hotel" room, and we all know he have a small fixation on him, :P , very sweet, and a very nice way to make chase realize that those lyrics are about him.

 

now that the show is over,, can we get him laid,,,Tho, I'm guessing it won't be in the next one,, cause the next one will prolly be some kind of premiere after party

Edited by frenchcanadian
Posted

remember how shadowgod said there was a cliffhanger at the end of 16? chase is so not getting laid next chapter haha. maybe they get ready to go back to their rooms with the big plans in mind and then helen comes busting in with news and then it ends. lol.

 

i gotta agree tho, too much technical mumbo jumbo for the plane flight :P would rather have brandon do something to scare the crap out of everyone on the plane hehe.

 

look forward to ch16, but not the cliffhanger at the end

  • Site Administrator
Posted (edited)

Thank you oh great and mighty Queen of Evilest Cliffhangers :worship:

 

First off, I was glad that there was much more about the doings of The Scar, Vladimir, and Dimitri. Although there is two separate stories going on, I am now equally interested in both stories now. A far cry from when I didn't like the two going on at once at the beginning.

 

I have always wondered what it would be like to work on a farm. If I had the chance to spend a week or two working on one, it would be cool. Now that I know that if I get offered to work on the "fertilizer project", I will know to run, and run fast. Great choice of words CJ :P .

 

First good chapter as always!!! and we realized what the changing the guard meant,, it's the title of the album,,,

 

But I do have one negative comment, the showing of, of the flying knowledge. I don't mind that there was some and all, but there was so many that at some point I had to read and re-read to get through that part. I do appreciate some technical stuff, but here I think it is a little too much.

 

That being said, good chapter,, they always seems so short, :P ,

 

It does make sense that that one song was about chase, I mean he wrote it in his "hotel" room, and we all know he have a small fixation on him, :P , very sweet, and a very nice way to make chase realize that those lyrics are about him.

 

now that the show is over,, can we get him laid,,,Tho, I'm guessing it won't be in the next one,, cause the next one will prolly be some kind of premiere after party

 

Here, I will have to disagree, although I see your point frenchcanadian. I have always wondered how planes "steer" their way to their location. Also I have wondered how planes avoid mid air collisions. Quiet often you see one named airline taking off immediately followed by another airline going to the same place. I think I have a better understanding on how air traffic control and beacons work to ensure everybody gets where they are going safely. Also, it shows how much research CJ puts into a topic and may even give us a bit of insight into something that interests the author :great: . But I do also see how maybe it would be too much info for someone who already knows this, or doesn't really have an interest in it.

 

 

remember how shadowgod said there was a cliffhanger at the end of 16? chase is so not getting laid next chapter haha. maybe they get ready to go back to their rooms with the big plans in mind and then helen comes busting in with news and then it ends. lol.

 

Actually I'm going to blame Shadowgod for not inserting a cliffhanger in this chapter :D . Wait, you abdicated that title, so I guess your excused. But am I alone in saying that I have actually missed the evil cliffhangers the past two chapters that we expect?

 

Now for my pet peeve.....lyrics in a story. I do not like them simply because I'm busy trying to play "name that tune" and come up with accompaniment for the lyrics that I miss the meaning of the words. Like frenchcanadian, I have to reread the words to get the meaning and that takes away their impact.

 

Lastly, great to hear from you Conner :D , hopefully there might be a private pool at the hotel that the boys are staying at, and the ensuing pool party will be memorable.

 

Steve B)

Edited by wildone
  • Site Moderator
Posted

As for the secret, it really wasn't a secret to us the readers. We knew early on that Brandon had a thing for Chase. And so did Eric, Jon, and Helen. The only one who didn't know it was Chase. Chase was too preoccupied to notice the the lyrics were about him when he first read them.

 

I think the cliffhanger for this chapter is what's going to happen now as a result of Brandon's actions. Granted, he spent time roaming the stage to be with Jon and Eric, then move to Chase and sing the actual words to him, I smell a big time outing. Who will be the one to do it remains the question.

 

(He, he. One more to go.) :P

 

Jan

  • Site Administrator
Posted
Brandon jogged back to his mike stand as Chase completed the short drum solo, amazed that he
Posted

Hi!

 

Just read the chapter and it was good. But I was bummed by the amount of technical words. I didn

Posted

I was wondering id anyone would catch the "or so he mistakenly thought". All I'll say is, that it's more than one person who noticed. :devil:

 

remember how shadowgod said there was a cliffhanger at the end of 16? chase is so not getting laid next chapter haha. maybe they get ready to go back to their rooms with the big plans in mind and then helen comes busting in with news and then it ends. lol.

 

i gotta agree tho, too much technical mumbo jumbo for the plane flight :P would rather have brandon do something to scare the crap out of everyone on the plane hehe.

 

look forward to ch16, but not the cliffhanger at the end

 

Shadowgod usually adds cliffhangers, so his hints about a cliffie in 16 are yet another cliffhanger by him; he's left us all hanging, again!

 

BTW, somebody mentioned that he's trying to abdicate as King of all Eeevil Cliffhangers? Well, umm, as that's a life-long title, that means our task is clear should he do so... Oh, Dimitri... :devil:

 

Hi!

 

Just read the chapter and it was good. But I was bummed by the amount of technical words. I didn

Posted
Sorry to those of you who found the technical detail on the flight overdone... All i can say is that there is a reason why it mostly had to be there, but that won't be clear for a few more chapters.

 

Oh no! they'll be flying eventually without a pilot in the plane, and brandon will have to save the day! :o

Posted
Oh no! they'll be flying eventually without a pilot in the plane, and brandon will have to save the day! :o

 

 

There's going to be a bomb on the plane, too! :(

 

Conner

  • Site Administrator
Posted
So Dimitri probably just misunderstood the meaning of "termination" in this context, and was trying to do his best to comply with Ausie employment laws... 0:)

And he still misinterpreted them. Most employees are ignored after they've been terminated, but Dimitri looked after the guy. Must be a special clause in the severance agreement....

Posted
And he still misinterpreted them. Most employees are ignored after they've been terminated, but Dimitri looked after the guy. Must be a special clause in the severance agreement....

 

:lol:

 

Yeah, somehow I think most emplyee's would rather be ignored. I know I would. plus whats with the literal interpretation of the term terminated?

Posted
Remind me not to apply for a job with Dimitri. The man is absolutely brutal.

Did anyone else note that there was also reference to The Scar offing someone who refused to conduct business with him? I'm thinking that was something CJ did on purpose to show us that they were both equally ruthless and dangerous. That way if there is some confrontation later they'll be well-matched! Just my opinion though.

 

Who else worked out about the private message? Is it Jon, Eric, Helen, Barbra, Zeke, or someone in the audience? It really has to be someone who knows Brandon is gay, hence the first list of names, but this was in Brandon's home town where others also know. As I said in a previous chapter's thread, there is a strong likelihood that Zeke's brother -- Brandon's former best friend -- is around, either in the audience or about to go backstage to see Zeke. Could it be him?

That's a good theory!

 

First good chapter as always!!!

:blink: I thought "WOW! That was harsh!" Until I read the "as always" part :P

 

and we realized what the changing the guard meant,, it's the title of the album,,,

Yep, I think they're both references to Brandon, not Lump, now being the lead singer though.

 

Sorry to those of you who found the technical detail on the flight overdone... All i can say is that there is a reason why it mostly had to be there, but that won't be clear for a few more chapters. (I hope this isn't too much info for the Echidna? I fear those spines!)

WOW! I didn't realize there might be an ulterior motive! Now I'm really curious!!

 

B) .......The goat writes lyrics :D
The song lyrics were so sweet. :wub: Chase is just going to eat him up once they get off stage. :boy:
Now for my pet peeve.....lyrics in a story. I do not like them simply because I'm busy trying to play "name that tune" and come up with accompaniment for the lyrics that I miss the meaning of the words. Like frenchcanadian, I have to reread the words to get the meaning and that takes away their impact.

On the issue of the lyrics, first off I agree with Conner, they were really sweet and probably scored him quite a few extra points, and made for an eventual steamier night, with Chase :wub:

 

Second, I must say I was shocked that CJ included them! WOW! Way to go, CJ! :worship: No way would I have been brave enough to try to write song lyrics for a chapter I was working on! Good Job.

 

Anyway, I'm really glad they were there! I thought they added alot to the story! I admit I was also curious to try to figure out what kind of music might accompany them, but it definitely didn't bother me.

 

Anyway, awesome chapter! I'm looking forward to the next one!

 

Take care and have an awesome day all!

Kevin

Posted
Did anyone else note that there was also reference to The Scar offing someone who refused to conduct business with him? I'm thinking that was something CJ did on purpose to show us that they were both equally ruthless and dangerous. That way if there is some confrontation later they'll be well-matched! Just my opinion though.

 

See, I'm starting to think that Lump's Father and Scar are the same person...

 

I know there's enough to suggest otherwise, but start thinking like a goat... He never did say that the two timelines were syncrenous (sp).

 

Bob D. :wub:

Posted
See, I'm starting to think that Lump's Father and Scar are the same person...

 

I know there's enough to suggest otherwise, but start thinking like a goat... He never did say that the two timelines were syncrenous (sp).

:blink:

 

WOW! That's quite a theory!

 

I definitely wouldn't think so personally. I think their physical descriptions vary considerably, plus CJ explicitly said that The Scar wasn't gay and that the two time lines were only a little off.

 

Interesting theory though!

 

-Kevin

 

BTW "synchronous" ;)

Posted
I thought "WOW! That was harsh!" Until I read the "as always" part

 

Kevin, There you go, I've edited the post in question, :P ,,, hopefully, now, no one will give my comments unwanted meaning :P

Posted
Kevin, There you go, I've edited the post in question, :P ,,, hopefully, now, no one will give my comments unwanted meaning :P

LOL :lol:

 

Nothing like a strategically placed comma :boy:

Posted
And he still misinterpreted them. Most employees are ignored after they've been terminated, but Dimitri looked after the guy. Must be a special clause in the severance agreement....

 

See? Dimitri cared enough to look after the employee even after he was no longer working for him... Poor, misunderstood Dimitri.

 

:lol:

 

Yeah, somehow I think most emplyee's would rather be ignored. I know I would. plus whats with the literal interpretation of the term terminated?

 

How was Dimitri, a non-native speaker of English, to know that "terminated" had multiple meanings in different contexts? 0:)

 

Did anyone else note that there was also reference to The Scar offing someone who refused to conduct business with him? I'm thinking that was something CJ did on purpose to show us that they were both equally ruthless and dangerous. That way if there is some confrontation later they'll be well-matched! Just my opinion though.

 

The Scar doesn;t like to leave loose ends... He's just a very tidy person. :)

 

On the issue of the lyrics, first off I agree with Conner, they were really sweet and probably scored him quite a few extra points, and made for an eventual steamier night, with Chase :wub:

 

Second, I must say I was shocked that CJ included them! WOW! Way to go, CJ! :worship: No way would I have been brave enough to try to write song lyrics for a chapter I was working on! Good Job.

 

Anyway, I'm really glad they were there! I thought they added alot to the story! I admit I was also curious to try to figure out what kind of music might accompany them, but it definitely didn't bother me.

 

Anyway, awesome chapter! I'm looking forward to the next one!

 

Take care and have an awesome day all!

Kevin

 

Thanks everyone regarding the lyrics.

 

Well, the background there is a bit complex... The fact is that as a reader, I strongly dislike song lyrics in a story, especially real ones along with the copyright (that really takes me "out" of the story). I'm not critisizing anyone who does this, its just a personal taste issue on my part.

 

However, I felt I needed them for this scene. I'm awful at remembering lyrics, so I had no clue what song might fit, and in any case I hate the whole copyrighting credits issue (which would be especially glaring in a story about a band that writes their own stuff). Therefor, I never gave it much thought; writing my own seemed the only way to go. They fit better IMHO and avoided some of the other issues. I could also use just the bits I needed, instead of a whole song.

 

I've been vauge on instinct's sound so that the reader can to a degree fit in their own preferences. It's mentioned in the narration and dialog that they are rock, not pop, and there are some clues such as a hard-driving beat, and the fact there is no keyboardist. :)

Lots of drums and electric guitars, and a hard-driving beat. :)

 

CJ :)

  • Site Administrator
Posted

In my humble opinion, the way you did the lyrics was correct. Not only using just the relevant part of a song, but putting the lyrics in context of what was going on. Too often I'll read a long set of lyrics and that's it. You've included what Brandon was doing while he was singing those lyrics, and, by implication, what he was thinking. It wasn't a dry recitation of the song -- it was the song in the context of not only a stage performance, but also a love affair.

Posted
In my humble opinion, the way you did the lyrics was correct. Not only using just the relevant part of a song, but putting the lyrics in context of what was going on. Too often I'll read a long set of lyrics and that's it. You've included what Brandon was doing while he was singing those lyrics, and, by implication, what he was thinking. It wasn't a dry recitation of the song -- it was the song in the context of not only a stage performance, but also a love affair.

 

Oh yeah,,, the lyrics were nice, and yes, usually I don't really like it when it's putting in lyrics just to write lyrics. but I think that, here, it brings something special to the story, and knowing CJ I'm sure that it will play something later on in the next chapters

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