JamesSavik Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 Exocist Kitteh Wants to Eat Your Soul
MikeL Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? A: One is a scum-sucking bottom dweller and... the other is a fish.
Bumblebee Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Some Dears.... Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns Dear Twilight fans, Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that. Sincerely, Logic Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch. Sincerely, The Titanic Dear J.K. Rowling, Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends? Sincerely, Anonymous Dear America , You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada Dear Boyfriend, I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can. Sincerely, Spiders Dear Voldemort, So they screwed up your nose too? Sincerely, Michael Jackson Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying... Sincerely, Google Dear girls who have been dumped, There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead. Sincerely, BP Dear Justin Bieber, Ariel would really love her voice back. Sincerely, King Triton Dear Rose, There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us. Sincerely, Jack Dear Windshield Wipers, Can't touch this. Sincerely, That Little Triangle Dear Taylor Swift, If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end. Sincerely, Shakespeare Dear Saturn, I liked it, so I put a ring on it. Sincerely, God Dear Rubik's Cube, Done! Sincerely, Colorblind Dear Santa, Please tell me how you managed to stop at three Ho's. Sincerely, Tiger Woods Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans, I. Can't. Breathe. Sincerely, Your Balls Dear Martin Luther King Jr., I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream... What now? Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio Dear Sleeping Beauty, I had to join the army, dress up like a man, defeat the hun army and totally save China for my man. All you had to do was wake up. Sincerely, Mulan Dear Romeo, My death isn't the only thing I've been faking... Sincerely, Juliet Dear Fox News, So far, no news about foxes. Sincerely, Unimpressed Dear Sex Educators, Abstinence is only 99.99% effective. Sincerely, The Virgin Mary Dear Toaster, Just gonna stand there and watch me burn? Sincerely, Toast Dear Edward, I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart. Sincerely, a stake Dear Prince Charming, You've got some explaining to do! Sincerely, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty 2
MikeL Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Super bowl commercials? Don't wait until Sunday. Here are some previews and teasers: http://finance.yahoo...s-sneak-preview
JamesSavik Posted February 5, 2011 Author Posted February 5, 2011 A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops. "What are you doing?" he asks. I'm going to commit a suicide," she says. While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?" So, she does. After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous! Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......" 5
Hamen Cheese Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 This is just so CUUUTE. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R55e-uHQna0
Zeoanne Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Alzheimer's Test How fast can you guess these words? 1. F_ _K 2. PU_S_ 3. S_X 4. P_N_S 5. BOO_S 6. _ _NDOM Answers: 1. FORK 2. PULSE 3. SIX 4. PANTS 5. BOOKS 6. RANDOM You got all 6 wrong....didn't you? Well, you don't have Alzheimer’s, but you are a pervert!
Bumblebee Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Alzheimer's Test How fast can you guess these words? Well, you don't have Alzheimer’s, but you are a pervert! damn, I'm a pervert
Zeoanne Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 damn, I'm a pervert No worries hun, I got a big F myself!
JamesSavik Posted February 16, 2011 Author Posted February 16, 2011 Fun from the War Zone care of: US Marine Corp & Lady Gaga 1
Popular Post MikeL Posted February 18, 2011 Popular Post Posted February 18, 2011 HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE. George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me. Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available." George said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed... Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up. Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" ( True Story ) I LOVE IT! Don't mess with old people. Live well, laugh often, love much!!! 6
Bumblebee Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE. George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me. Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available." George said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed... Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up. Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" ( True Story ) I LOVE IT! Don't mess with old people. Live well, laugh often, love much!!! hahahahahahaha
JamesSavik Posted February 19, 2011 Author Posted February 19, 2011 Meridian, Mississippi Yep. UM-huh. Sounds 'bout ryath.
Zeoanne Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 If you can't afford a doctor, go to an airport - you'll get a free x-ray and a breast exam, and; if you mention Al Qaeda, you'll get a free colonoscopy. 1
Zeoanne Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 Viagra coffee An elderly Irish woman visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband's libido. 'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor. 'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.' 'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went..' It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress. The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!' 'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor. 'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!' 'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor,' Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?' 'Freakin' Jaysus, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again. 3
Myval Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 :funny: Gosh, Ma Rush, you just about killed me.
Zeoanne Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 :funny: Gosh, Ma Rush, you just about killed me. I'm glad you laughed but honey, I don't wanna kill ya!
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