Make us laugh!

[Buddha]

bunnie

[JamesSavik]

Exocist Kitteh Wants to Eat Your Soul

[MikeL]

Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

 

A: One is a scum-sucking bottom dweller and...

 

the other is a fish.

 

[paya]

[Bumblebee]

Some Dears....

 

 

 

 

Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

 

Sincerely, Unicorns

 

 

 

Dear Twilight fans,

 

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.

 

Enjoy fantasizing about that.

 

Sincerely, Logic

 

 

 

Dear Icebergs,

 

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

 

Sincerely, The Titanic

 

 

 

Dear J.K. Rowling,

 

Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?

 

Sincerely, Anonymous

 

Dear America ,

 

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

 

Sincerely, Canada

 

 

 

Dear Boyfriend,

 

I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.

 

Sincerely, Spiders

 

 

 

Dear Voldemort,

 

So they screwed up your nose too?

 

Sincerely, Michael Jackson

 

 

 

Dear Yahoo,

 

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...

 

Sincerely, Google

 

Dear girls who have been dumped,

 

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.

 

Sincerely, BP

 

 

 

Dear Justin Bieber,

 

Ariel would really love her voice back.

 

Sincerely, King Triton

 

 

 

Dear Rose,

 

There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.

 

Sincerely, Jack

 

 

 

Dear Windshield Wipers,

 

Can't touch this.

 

Sincerely, That Little Triangle

 

 

 

Dear Taylor Swift,

 

If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.

 

Sincerely, Shakespeare

 

Dear Saturn,

 

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

 

Sincerely, God

 

 

 

Dear Rubik's Cube,

 

Done!

 

Sincerely, Colorblind

 

 

 

Dear Santa,

 

Please tell me how you managed to stop at three Ho's.

 

Sincerely, Tiger Woods

 

 

 

Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans,

 

I. Can't. Breathe.

 

Sincerely, Your Balls

 

 

 

Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,

 

I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream... What now?

 

Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio

 

Dear Sleeping Beauty,

 

I had to join the army, dress up like a man, defeat the hun army and totally save China for my man.

 

All you had to do was wake up.

 

Sincerely, Mulan

 

 

 

Dear Romeo,

 

My death isn't the only thing I've been faking...

 

Sincerely, Juliet

 

 

 

Dear Fox News,

 

So far, no news about foxes.

 

Sincerely, Unimpressed

 

 

 

Dear Sex Educators,

 

Abstinence is only 99.99% effective.

 

Sincerely, The Virgin Mary

 

 

 

Dear Toaster,

 

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?

 

Sincerely, Toast

 

 

 

Dear Edward,

 

I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart.

 

Sincerely, a stake

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Prince Charming,

 

You've got some explaining to do!

 

Sincerely, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty

 

 

 

[JamesSavik]

[MikeL]

Super bowl commercials? Don't wait until Sunday. Here are some previews and teasers: http://finance.yahoo...s-sneak-preview

[JamesSavik]

A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about to

jump off a bridge so he stops.

 

"What are you doing?" he asks.

 

I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.

 

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an

opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a

Kiss?"

 

So, she does.

 

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have

ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous! Why

are you committing suicide?"

 

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

[JamesSavik]

 

 

 

 

[Hamen Cheese]

This is just so CUUUTE.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R55e-uHQna0

[Zeoanne]

Alzheimer's Test

How fast can you guess these words?

1. F_ _K

2. PU_S_

3. S_X

4. P_N_S

5. BOO_S

6. _ _NDOM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Answers:

 

1. FORK

2. PULSE

3. SIX

4. PANTS

5. BOOKS

6. RANDOM

 

You got all 6 wrong....didn't you?

 

Well, you don't have Alzheimer’s, but you are a pervert!

[Bumblebee]

Alzheimer's Test

How fast can you guess these words?

Well, you don't have Alzheimer’s, but you are a pervert!

 

 

damn, I'm a pervert

[Zeoanne]

damn, I'm a pervert

 

No worries hun, I got a big F myself!

[JamesSavik]

[Sara Alva]

[BlueSoxSWJ]

[JamesSavik]

Fun from the War Zone care of: US Marine Corp & Lady Gaga

[MikeL]

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

 

George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

 

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"

 

He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.

 

Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."

 

George said, "Okay."

 

He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.

 

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed... Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.

 

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

 

One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

 

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

 

( True Story ) I LOVE IT!

 

Don't mess with old people.

 

Live well, laugh often, love much!!!

[Bumblebee]

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

 

George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

 

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"

 

He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.

 

Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."

 

George said, "Okay."

 

He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.

 

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed... Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.

 

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

 

One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

 

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

 

( True Story ) I LOVE IT!

 

Don't mess with old people.

 

Live well, laugh often, love much!!!

 

 

hahahahahahaha

[JamesSavik]

Meridian, Mississippi

 

Yep. UM-huh. Sounds 'bout ryath.

[Zeoanne]

If you can't afford a doctor, go to an airport - you'll get a free x-ray and a breast exam, and; if you mention Al Qaeda, you'll get a free colonoscopy.

 

[paya]

[Zeoanne]

Viagra coffee

An elderly Irish woman visited her physician to ask his advice

 

on reviving her husband's libido.

'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor.

'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.'

'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish

 

Viagra'.

It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't

 

even taste it

Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things

 

went..'

It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who

 

directly inquired as to her progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!'

'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor.

'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and

 

the effect was almost immediate.

He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his

 

pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and

 

tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there

 

passionately on the tabletop!

It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!'

'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor,' Do you mean the sex your

 

husband provided wasn't good?'

'Freakin' Jaysus, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years!

But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me

 

face in Starbucks again.

[Myval]

 

:funny:

 

Gosh, Ma Rush, you just about killed me.

[Zeoanne]

:funny:

 

Gosh, Ma Rush, you just about killed me.

 

I'm glad you laughed but honey, I don't wanna kill ya!