Make us laugh!

[Valkyrie]

 

 

I almost posted the first one yesterday!   When I reach that age I'll totally be the one on the rocking horse.  LOL 

[Slytherin]

I almost posted the first one yesterday!   When I reach that age I'll totally be the one on the rocking horse.  LOL 

With the whip.. My guess is that you saw this post on Facebook, right ? Mr Takei ?

 

 "borrowed" this from Another page lol

[Valkyrie]

With the whip.. My guess is that you saw this post on Facebook, right ? Mr Takei ?

 

 

Yes, I saw it on Mr. Takei's page on FB.   (No comment on the whip  )

[Andy78]

[JamesSavik]

Hey babe...

[MikeL]

What is Celibacy?

 

Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
 
While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, it is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.
 
He then addressed the men.

 

Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?

 

Frank leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently, and whispered, Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn't it?
 
And thus began Frank's life of celibacy...

[MikeL]

Lunch with the girls...

 

 

 

Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery.

 

The first woman said, "I need to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob job."

 

The second woman responded, "Oh, that's nothing. I'm thinking of having my ass hole bleached!"

 

"Whoa," replied the first woman. "I just can't picture your husband as a blonde!"

[Andy78]

Not sure if we've seen this one before.

 

[MikeL]

THE POTTY

A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP.  THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK.  BUT ABOUT EVERY 15 SECONDS OR SO, HE PUTS THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPS ONTO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITS HIMSELF ON TOP OF HIS HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND.

HIS MOTHER SAYS: "BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR A WHILE."

BILLY SAYS:  "I'M FINE, MOMMY. I JUST HAVEN'T GONE POTTY' YET."

MOTHER SAYS: "OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES. BUT,  BILLY,  WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?"

BILLY SAYS: "WORKS FOR KETCHUP."

[MikeL]

[MikeL]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=sN2C4uRW3nA

[Irritable1]

I hope this isn't redundant: LAB CAM. His name's Walter, if it matters to you (it does to me).

 

I don't know what makes me happier---the galloping sounds or the flapping ears. 

[MikeL]

 

When top level guys look down, they see only shitheads;
When bottom level guys look up, they see only assholes.

Edited September 5, 2014 by MikeL

[Valkyrie]

[MikeL]

Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around, and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Patton pulled down his pants and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and saw his wife staring at him from across the room. She said, 'You were drunk again last night.'

Patton said, 'Why do you say such a mean thing?'

'Well,' she said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ....... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.'

[Slytherin]

 

[Andy78]

[MikeL]

Edited September 7, 2014 by MikeL

[Slytherin]

 

[AC Benus]

 

 

 

 

I love the store Image - People, it's always best to stand back and admire your work before you say 'it's done.' LOL

[Valkyrie]

[MikeL]

Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile when you think of this: 

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves. 

'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked... 

'No, I don't,' she replied. 
 
'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry,  then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.'
 
She didn't crack a smile. 

'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought. 
 
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing. 

'What's so funny?' he asked. 

'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'

[MikeL]

[Slytherin]

[Valkyrie]