Make us laugh!

[Slytherin]

 

[Valkyrie]

[MikeL]

"A woman drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her." ~ W. C. Fields

[Zombie]

the stuff of nightmares...

 

 

[Slytherin]

 

[MikeL]

An old woman is sipping on a glass of wine while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says, "I love you so much. I don't know how I could ever live without you." ... Her husband asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?" ... She replies, "It's me ... talking to the wine."

[MikeL]

Who do you think will set the pace?

 

[Slytherin]

[Valkyrie]

[MikeL]

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, toothpicks?

[MikeL]

I Don't Look Good Naked Anymore

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=OOgd9hitEAE

Edited August 13, 2014 by MikeL

[Slytherin]

 

[Slytherin]

[MikeL]

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote:

"I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who wrote:

"SIR: I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or steal pictures off the walls or use them as a coloring book. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel.

 

And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

Edited August 15, 2014 by MikeL

[MikeL]

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles ..."

 

Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

Edited August 16, 2014 by MikeL

[Andy78]

[Slytherin]

[Andy78]

[Slytherin]

 I hate bananas but I love banana icecream

[Andy78]

[MikeL]

Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."

 

TWA 2341: "We are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"

 

Tower: "Have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

Edited August 17, 2014 by MikeL

[MikeL]

A DC-10 had come in a little fast and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.

 

San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able.  If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."

Edited August 18, 2014 by MikeL

[Slytherin]

the stuff of nightmares...

 

 

Zombie !! I wonder if its Bedtime bear or Grumpy bear to the right... hard to tell :lol:

[Zombie]

Zombie !! I wonder if its Bedtime bear or Grumpy bear to the right... hard to tell :lol:

 

either way they're scary as hell!

 

[Andy78]

 

Zombie !! I wonder if its Bedtime bear or Grumpy bear to the right... hard to tell :lol:

 

I'd say it's Grumpy.  If it was Bedtime he would be wearing a nightcap