Site Administrator Graeme Posted June 10, 2009 Site Administrator Posted June 10, 2009 Furlough by Mark Arbour Two wounded men meet in Paris during World War I. One is wounded on the outside, both are wounded on the inside. Will their accidental meeting help heal both of them? :nuke: :nuke: Spoilers Below!!! :nuke: :nuke:
AFriendlyFace Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 Furlough By Mark Arbour **Spoilers** This story was quite unlike any I had ever read before. I don't generally read historical pieces or war-based pieces; however, I found this story extremely enjoyable! The setting was very well depicted and I really felt myself transported back to WWI days. The characters were so vivid. I found myself very fascinated with Gabriel and what kind of life he must have now had. I was also intrigued by Jack's curiosity and exploratory nature. I'm very much wondering what happened next for these characters. What happened after the furlough was over? Of course it goes without saying that the story was also hot to read. It was sexual and erotic but also sensual and quite beautiful. Well done, Mark! I really enjoyed it -Kevin
Site Administrator Graeme Posted June 14, 2009 Author Site Administrator Posted June 14, 2009 One of the things that I found so real in this story was Gabriel's initial anger and aggressiveness regarding his disability, and then his change when he realised that Jack didn't mind. Jack wasn't ignoring it -- pretending it wasn't there -- but it didn't bother him. I saw Gabriel's U-turn in his attitude as being as reaction to finding someone who wasn't disgusted -- and I saw Gabriel as being one of the ones disgusted, so Jack's reactions, or lack thereof, were an important part of the healing process for Gabriel. My fear would be that Gabriel would lapse back into self-loathing after Jack left, especially if he never came back (all too likely, unfortunately). I'm hoping that the time they spent together would be enough to buffer Gabriel against any returning depression. Especially with the extra day together at the end. Thanks, Mark! I really enjoyed this piece
AFriendlyFace Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 One of the things that I found so real in this story was Gabriel's initial anger and aggressiveness regarding his disability, and then his change when he realised that Jack didn't mind. Jack wasn't ignoring it -- pretending it wasn't there -- but it didn't bother him. I saw Gabriel's U-turn in his attitude as being as reaction to finding someone who wasn't disgusted -- and I saw Gabriel as being one of the ones disgusted, so Jack's reactions, or lack thereof, were an important part of the healing process for Gabriel. That's very insightful; I completely agree. I was thinking what a healing experience it must have been for Gabriel when Jack was kissing his nub. That psychological aspect was certainly highly appreciated by me. On another note, this was the first anthology entry that I read that made me tear up a bit (a sure sign I'm enjoying a story )! Very beautiful and moving indeed, -Kevin
Mark Arbour Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 That's very insightful; I completely agree. I was thinking what a healing experience it must have been for Gabriel when Jack was kissing his nub. That psychological aspect was certainly highly appreciated by me. On another note, this was the first anthology entry that I read that made me tear up a bit (a sure sign I'm enjoying a story )! Very beautiful and moving indeed, -Kevin Thank you so much Graeme and Kevin! Did you ever create characters that ended up captivating you? These two did. It's a story I'm tempted to sequel.
AFriendlyFace Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 (edited) Thank you so much Graeme and Kevin! Did you ever create characters that ended up captivating you? I certainly have with my own characters, and while I can't speak for whether Graeme's characters have done that to him, I can attest to the fact that his characters have done that to me. These two did. It's a story I'm tempted to sequel. No pressure of course, but I think I would be delighted to read that sequel! I'm immensely curious about what happened to Jack and Gabriel and what the rest of their story holds! Jack and Gabriel were extremely fascinating, well-depicted characters and in the span of a relatively short piece I felt like I really came to know them and invest in their experiences. Edited June 14, 2009 by AFriendlyFace
amBIguoustwo Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 Mark, Fantastic story. I was reminded of my mother's maiden aunt, whose young beau never came back from the Great War, and her uncle, who was never the same after he did come back. So much suffering over fields of mud. I was also reminded of the great war memorials, built by those who survived to justify the lives of those who did not. This story begs for a sequel. It might not always be pretty, but the story is worth telling. Bryan
Hoskins Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 this is a great story, such a terrible war. I'd like to see a sequel too.
DragonFire Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 I'm with the consensus on this, I really loved this story and I think a sequel would be a great idea. Am really curious to see what happened after their
Mark Arbour Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 I'm sure I feel like a lot of authors out there. I write stuff, throw it out there, but without any feedback, it can seem like a hollow effort. I've been lucky to have readers that recognize those basic insecurities and cheer me on, but writing anthology entries is a different beast. I kind of approach these things with a little bit of trepidation. But when I do write something and publish it, then I get stuff like what all of you who said, that makes it all seem worthwhile, and motivates me to write on. Thank you so very much.
Conner Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Beautiful story, Mark! I found it had a strong "sweet sorrow" element to it. If you write a sequel, I'll read it.
Mark Arbour Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 What was that line from the movie "Field of Dreams"? "If you write it, they will come," or something like that?
paya Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Thank you so much Graeme and Kevin! Did you ever create characters that ended up captivating you? These two did. It's a story I'm tempted to sequel. Yay! I want a sequel too! Excellent story, very catching and the characters are GOOD... where do you get ideas for such good stories? :-)
amBIguoustwo Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Also, the fact that he was able to look beyond the disability spoke volumes about the man
Dolores Esteban Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Drastic times call for drastic measures, I guess. No, honestly, I think it was the only way for Jack and Gabriel to seize a chance. Everybody would, I think, on the brink of death. You know, I'm not so fond of graphic descriptions, but I thought the story concept was great
Mark Arbour Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 With the horror of the Great War that each experienced in the trenches, I think the loss of the leg was nothing to him. After witnessing the bloody mess of bodies gunned down, torn apart by bullets, he was desensitized. The question for Mark, is that what our character felt? Bryan I honestly had a hard time figuring out how they felt. I've never been in a battle before, certainly nothing like the hell they experienced. There is much talk of men charging over no man's land in WWI and getting mowed down in droves, and while that happened, more deaths were caused by artillery. Having a massive shell land in your trench and obliterate your whole company, or regiment even, must have been horrific. Then being ordered over the top...it's a testament in courage that they even survived. Then of course you add to that the additional terror of mustard and chlorine gas, which would have killed men and horses alike, and the carnage is truly inconceivable. I pictured a man coming out of the trenches covered with lice and other body parasites (as most were), completely stunned and desensitized. I assumed that the only time he would be able to get in touch with his feelings would be during his sleep, and then they'd manifest themselves in nightmares. I'm not sure that you can ever recover from an experience like that.
C James Posted June 18, 2009 Posted June 18, 2009 Very well done, Mark! The line that was most evocative for me was the one about the lice... Skillfully done; with that one line you showed, clearly, the difference between life on the line and elsewhere.That one small detail spoke volumes, far beyond itself. What struck me the most was how strongly affected Jack was by the carnage of the Somme (as well he would be; it was the bloodiest of a very bloody war). The battle is at least the better part of a year in his past, yet it is still vivid. He's wounded, much as is Gabielle, for he shall never forget. Thanks for a great story, Mark! CJ
old bob Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 What was that line from the movie "Field of Dreams"? "If you write it, they will come," or something like that? The line was : While walking through the cornfield, Ray hears a voice whisper,"If you build it, he will come." If you believe the impossible, the incredible can come true. BTW, your story is amazing Do you have some connection to veterans of WWI ? I had a lot, specially an uncle, and he first never wanted to tell me stories about his war (he was wounded twice and became a convinced pacifist until the german occupation of France in WWII. He forgot his pacifism and became a member of the French resistance). Then he could talk and I learnt a lot from his war experiences.
Mark Arbour Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 The line was : While walking through the cornfield, Ray hears a voice whisper,"If you build it, he will come."If you believe the impossible, the incredible can come true. BTW, your story is amazing Do you have some connection to veterans of WWI ? I had a lot, specially an uncle, and he first never wanted to tell me stories about his war (he was wounded twice and became a convinced pacifist until the german occupation of France in WWII. He forgot his pacifism and became a member of the French resistance). Then he could talk and I learnt a lot from his war experiences. Thanks OB! My grandfather fought over there, at Verdun, but didn't ever talk about it. Some guys just couldn't let those memories resurface, I guess.
Procyon Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 This was a nice story, I really enjoyed reading it. There's just something about WWI, isn't there... One thing though: would they really have been able to order that much food at the caf
old bob Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 ..... There's just something about WWI, isn't there... One thing though: would they really have been able to order that much food at the caf
Procyon Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 You are mixing WWI with WWII !There was no big food shortage in France during 1914-1918. The only problem was that men were missing in the fields and only women and children remained for the harvests. The shortage was during the german occupation 1940-1944. Oh, that's interesting, I had no idea! I always assumed things were pretty bad when it came to food in WWI as well.
Mark Arbour Posted July 5, 2009 Posted July 5, 2009 Oh, that's interesting, I had no idea! I always assumed things were pretty bad when it came to food in WWI as well. Thanks for clearing things up OB, and thanks for your nice comments Procyon. I was watching a show on the History Channel (big surprise that I watch that, right?) about the soldiers in WWI who suffered from shell shock. Many of them were never able to live normal lives. I can't even begin to visualize the horror of life in the trenches, with dirt, disease, parasites, and the constant fear that an artillery shell would land in your trench and blow you up, or your mates up, or maim you. Then to have some idiot officer blow his whistle and expect you to charge across open land in the face of machine gun fire to try to capture the other guy's shitty trench....oh, and add poison gas to the mix, and I'm trying to visualize a worse war to have fought in.
irangel Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Mark, this story was beautiful. I'll admit it took me some time to get around to it. I was not sure what to expect. My resistance was from getting fixated on the Furlough title. Thinking it would be a "shore leave quickie" type scene (not that there is anything wrong with that) and never expecting this diamond with multifaceted layers. The depth of emotion generated by the two characters came through quite forcefully. The wounds physical and psychological, the unknown future and the short amount of time left to them...dah-um, you hit all the right notes. I am on a hunt for your other works. I fell in love with both these guys, I hope for a happy ending for them. A sequel would be a joyful gift for us. thank you for this and for sharing your writing gifts btw, I'm walking around my work place with a Cheshire cat grin after reading this...work? me? what's that?
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