Jump to content

I Think I'm In Trouble

Former Member

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 71
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

Nephylim
Nephylim

Don't you dare!!!!   This is a site full of very different people, different personalities and different perspectives. Of course there are going to be personality clashes and disagreements. There

MikeL Journeyman Scribe

MikeL

Posted
Posted

Does anybody wanna talk about my story?

 

You can do it here if you wanna

 

Sorry if I linked it all wrong

 

 

Love from Joey

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.gayauthor...ry.php?sid=1404

I don't think you are in any trouble, Joey...certainly not like the characters in your story. :P

 

I have read seven chapters so far and am enjoying it immensely. It is certainly a departure in plot and concept from anything else I have read. Please keep up the good work.

 

I like the West Virginia dialect; it's very well done. I know you lived there at one time and can't help wondering if you personally talk that way now or if you have moved on to a Texas accent. med3d-cowboy.gif

Link to comment
  • Site Administrator
Cia Mythic Scribe

Cia

Posted
  • Site Administrator
Posted

I was busy writing but I have gotten to read 2 chapters so far. I have really enjoyed this story so far, poor Jake is so conflicted towards Felix. We often treat those we like/love the most the absolute worst. I can't wait to read on and find out what happens! Good bedtime reading material I think!

Link to comment
  • Site Administrator
Cia Mythic Scribe

Cia

Posted
  • Site Administrator
Posted

Started reading at chapter 3 this morning and literally couldn't run my errands until I finished it, lol! I just got sucked in and then almost didn't make it back home to meet the school bus, lol. Great story!

 

 

Link to comment
Former Member Novice Scribe

Former Member

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Started reading at chapter 3 this morning and literally couldn't run my errands until I finished it, lol! I just got sucked in and then almost didn't make it back home to meet the school bus, lol. Great story!

 

 

 

 

Thank you Cia - I know how busy you always are and so I really appreciate your reading a firstimers little story.

Thanks lots for yalls advice today too! It was awesome!

 

 

Love from Joey~

Link to comment
Former Member Novice Scribe

Former Member

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Well I'm up to date and loving it. I love how true to life the characters are.... they just keep screwing up smile.gif

 

I wonder if the prophesy is going to come true though smile.gif

 

 

Hi Nephylim,

 

You was the first persons name I ever saw here and your feedback makes me feel so encouraged! I was ashamed after posting my story because then I began to read other folks stories - one of which was yours... but you keep encouraging me and it makes me feel real good :)

 

Love from Joey

Link to comment
Former Member Novice Scribe

Former Member

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I started reading today. Only chapter one. But what a good chapter. Looking forward to a great story. I like this "introduction". Thanks.

 

Sam

 

Hi Sam I hope you enjoy the rest of the story! I have tried to make it rise in dimension, substance and tension each successive chapter and I hope this helps you top want to read more :)

 

 

Love from Joey~

Link to comment
Former Member Novice Scribe

Former Member

Posted
  • Author
Posted

YIKES Ma Boy!! I'm only on chapter 4 and it's like WOW! Are you sure this is your first ever writings? You are so ma'velous dear! I'll come back for more yapping...

 

~Momma Rush~

 

 

 

I aint never written anything else but I have had attempts at trying to fix all the errors and spelling an all in this story from friends. But none of us are editors or anything hehe. I glad you like my story Rush, I know you are a nice lady and a busy lady.

 

THANKS!

 

 

Love from Joey

Link to comment
Former Member Novice Scribe

Former Member

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I don't think you are in any trouble, Joey...certainly not like the characters in your story. tongue.gif

 

I have read seven chapters so far and am enjoying it immensely. It is certainly a departure in plot and concept from anything else I have read. Please keep up the good work.

 

I like the West Virginia dialect; it's very well done. I know you lived there at one time and can't help wondering if you personally talk that way now or if you have moved on to a Texas accent. med3d-cowboy.gif

 

 

Well I got a kind of hybrid accent now MikeL hehehe - I hope you are enjoying reading about the lives of the folks from Forkridge. And I look forward to hearing about what you think of them coz I love chatting to you (from thechat room).

 

 

Love from Joey~

Link to comment
MikeL Journeyman Scribe

MikeL

Posted
Posted

Joey, chapter 10 is very powerful. I was particularly impressed with Jake's soliloquy at the end of the chapter when he finally comes to a realization of who he is and what he wants. Exceptionally well done.

Link to comment
Fishwings Journeyman Scribe

Fishwings

Posted
Posted

Just started reading your story, and I like!! Fast paced story with a true first person voice. Your chapter endings are exxcellentt. Eg.

 

 

"An ill wind this way blows, and it brings trouble, this she knows.

 

She can smell it all over her grandson. she used to smell it all over her

son."

 

 

 

 

I do find the formatting a bit funny, how your paragraphs are very narrow, but that's not really much of a bother.

Link to comment
  • Site Administrator
Cia Mythic Scribe

Cia

Posted
  • Site Administrator
Posted

This should be a big plus for speed readers. Sorry to say I'm not one.

 

 

It is for me, but I am one :)

 

 

I read ch. 12 last night. Great job! I think that Jake and Felix are too darn cute. You did have a few errors in your grammar/spelling but all in all it was a great chapter. Long too, which is always a plus for me ;) The song that the family sang, the line: I will sing you into my heart. I so get that when it comes to singing, the line is perfect.

 

Miss Carol is an absolute wonder. For someone of her age and having been raised in the times that she would have been, she certainly is a staunch advocate for tolerance, forgiveness and love. In quite the offbeat zany way. She is a great character to add life and flavor to your story, I hope she sticks around for a bit more :)

Link to comment
MikeL Journeyman Scribe

MikeL

Posted
Posted (edited)

Great chapter 12, Joey. The family reunion was very touching. And the little bit of philosophy about holding grudges was really special.

 

The ending...the part just before Miss Carol's prayer? Whew! Some very experienced authors should learn from you that there are ways to bring the reader back for the next chapter without a cliffhanger.

 

I'll consider it a lucky day when I see chapter 13.

Edited by MikeL
Link to comment
MikeL Journeyman Scribe

MikeL

Posted
Posted

Hey, it really was a lucky day with chapter 13 being released. Another great one, Joey. Who knew two guys could have so much fun in church?

 

Jessica and Lenore know. It's very likely Miss Carol knows. At this rate, especially with the touching at dinner, everyone will know very soon.

 

Keep up the good work, Joey. We love the story and you.

Link to comment
MikeL Journeyman Scribe

MikeL

Posted
Posted

Another excellent chapter, Joey! Chapter 14 helps us understand what the various characters think of their and others' relationships.

 

I'm anxious to see what nefarious scheme Ms. Lewis is about to unleash. I trust she will end up the big loser.

 

Have a great weekend. Stay safe.

Link to comment
Teddy Novice Scribe

Teddy

Posted
Posted

I'm kinda picky about the stories I read. I've got to say that this one has a very special tone to it that's not present in most on the web. It's also very new and refreshing in plot as well. I'm afraid to say I spent a lot of time over the last three days reading it on the sly at work which is something I never do! That's how marvelously it hooked me in. You had me in tears when Jake got to meet his grandparents for the first time. Thanks for a great story! :)

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here: Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..