I Think I'm In Trouble

[Nephylim]

Well.... I don't want to repeat what I said in the comment but I am very impressed by the way that you lulled everyone into a false sense of security in the first half of the story fooling us all into thinking that it was a straightforward love story. The fantasy elements were introduced so subtly and sneakily we didn't stand a chance. One minute we were going Ooooh and Ahhh and the next Oh Shit!!!

 

The bits with the children are sweet and give some relief from the tension but they are also horribly creepy. The thought of Abby skipping down that aisle singing the nursery rhyme was soooo spooky.

 

I liked this story a lot... and now I am loving it

[MikeL]

Great Chapter 21, Joey.

 

It's a little spooky how several people, including the children, are coming to the conclusion that something bad is happening in Forkridge. I'm looking forward to how the teens handle Aimee and Georgia and escape harm. I hope they do all escape.

[Conner]

The love scene between Jake and Felix was fantastic and totally erotic. Very well done.

 

Involving the children to provide "messages" is an excellent strategy. It tells us Miss Carol is still at work; she seems to be working through a few people.

 

More, more, more.....

[Former Member]

Howdy Cia - Thank you for yalls comment. The Mikey character is a union of my own Jake and myself as I would imagine us to have been at that age if we had somehow miraculously merged. A mixture then of my often foolhardy curiosity and his assertive chutzpah and decisiveness I reckon.

 

I have really enjoyed writing in all the childrens scenes. I am only a first timer having a go but I think that children add great dimension and alot of counter flavor to this story.

 

Thank you again!

 

 

Hi Mr Bugeye! - You are obviously taking yalls time and I hope that as each chapter unfolds for you, you will find even more to enjoy and savor. Your comments are like lil gold nuggets of joy to me and are obviously 'worth their weight in gold'

 

I have been so impressed with the person that you are as I have goten to know you in Chat and it makes me feel very humbled that you like my story so much when I consider just who you are, where you have been and what you have experienced.

 

Dear Nephy - Abigail is one of those kids that you just know is gonna be at the center of things no matter what the situation. The nursery rhyme I write about is one that was often sung to us in my family when there were terrible storms and to this day nobody really knows who started the tradition or why.

 

I even have an old journal entry by a long deceased relative which gives the words as being "All aboard the lightning boat" but by the time of my great grandparents it was as you see it in the story. Suffice to say - we are all freaked of it! - And yet it is still sung to this day...

 

Dear Mikel, To us in Texas, and my family in Appalachia - we would probably agree that the idea of being much obliged is more properly borne out by the idea of being very obligated to someone in accordance with a blessing or favor they have booned upon us. This phrase holds a lot of gravitas with me, my family and by the looks of it you as well. I thank you for continuing to support my story on this site. I AM very grateful.

 

Hello Conner! - I struggled with all the sex scenes for various reasons but mainly because of my conservative background. I made a promise to myself to be true to the spirit of the situation and the characters I was writing about and wanted to keep with the 'amplified, heavily dramatized, and highly detailed' themes of the story overall.

 

I often can't look at those parts when I read back through the story. I am glad that you can hehe.

 

 

***

 

 

I am grateful to all of you who have commented on my story. It is largely unedited and only cursory proof reading because I kinda write like a whirling dervish hehehe.

 

It only makes me appreciate yall even more!

 

 

I am MUCH obliged

 

 

Love from Joey!

[Nephylim]

That last chapter was an experience and a half. You are an evil genius the way you build up Felix's sweetness in between the amazing scenes with the children and then hit us with that at the end when Miss Carol has said that there will be three souls leaving the earth. I am bating my breath so don't leave me in suspense for too long. I might burst and THAT would not be a pretty sight

[Conner]

WOW! Chapter 22 was just tremendous! Huge chapter too!

 

Really looking forward to the finale!

[MikeL]

Wow, Joey! This latest chapter was tremendous and took another very dark turn. There is still evil around. How are you going to save Felix?

[Cia]

I can't wait until the last chapter. And I realize we know sooo much that Felix doesn't, but is that boy stupid? Did he or did he not just get warned? I mean, wow, how naive can one person be? I hope that he will be alright. Eeek! Like I said, I can't wait for the next chapter!

[NightOwl88]

I'm ashamed to say that i just found this story thanks to the intervention of Momma Rush. I have to say I love this story, i love the charecters, the plot the *scenery* its all just great. Your dialogue is amazing and just so real, its like you cna actually hear the characters speaking. I finally managed to get caught up with all the chapters and I have to say that by far my favorite person is Ms. Carol, don't ask why I just love her lol.

The parts you've written in for the kids are very interesting and endearing. As much as I hate to find out the story is almost over i look forward to seeing how it ends, and who this third soul that Ms Carol was talking about is gonna be.

 

Best Wishes, and great work,

NightOwl.

[MikeL]

I'm ashamed to say that i just found this story thanks to the intervention of Momma Rush. I have to say I love this story, i love the charecters, the plot the *scenery* its all just great. Your dialogue is amazing and just so real, its like you cna actually hear the characters speaking. I finally managed to get caught up with all the chapters and I have to say that by far my favorite person is Ms. Carol, don't ask why I just love her lol.

The parts you've written in for the kids are very interesting and endearing. As much as I hate to find out the story is almost over i look forward to seeing how it ends, and who this third soul that Ms Carol was talking about is gonna be.

 

Best Wishes, and great work,

NightOwl.

I trust Aimee will be the third soul.

[Former Member]

Hi everybody, here is the link to the final installment of ITIIT Part One

 

Thank you for joining me throughout the story.

 

 

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1404&textsize=0&chapter=23

 

 

 

Love from Joey~

[Nephylim]

I think the only thing I can say is Ugh!!!! ( in a good way) I am so exhausted from reading the last chapter. What a roller coaster. The suspense was awesome. It was great too to have the last part, telling us what happened after the drama.

 

Fabulous story hun, absolutely fabulous

[Conner]

This was really a great story, Joey!

 

WOW! That was a huge chapter! I'm not complaining. I like big!

 

I wholeheartedly agree with Neph that it was fantastic to hear the post-trauma story that you gave us. Thanks.

 

Again, I must comment on the love scene towards the end where Felix is "dominating" Jake. Very erotic and lots of fun. Well done!

 

My compliments to your editor, Momma Rush, as well. Superb job!

[Zeoanne]

This was really a great story, Joey!

 

WOW! That was a huge chapter! I'm not complaining. I like big!

 

I wholeheartedly agree with Neph that it was fantastic to hear the post-trauma story that you gave us. Thanks.

 

Again, I must comment on the love scene towards the end where Felix is "dominating" Jake. Very erotic and lots of fun. Well done!

 

My compliments to your editor, Momma Rush, as well. Superb job!

 

Awww Thank you Conner... I love editing superb stories and this is one of them! I'm so glad to see how many people have read and commented on Joey's ITIIT !!!

[MikeL]

Thanks for the great story, Joey. I enjoyed every word and I always enjoy a happy ending.

 

I hope you have another story in you; I'm ready to read it.

 

Take care of yourself and your Jake.

[Former Member]

Hi everybody - I am about to leave this site now, and whilst I did not end up enjoying the actions of the people in charge here, I DID love all the wonderful people who I met on here!!!

 

Talk to Cia or Mama Rush to get my email and you can always talk to me from there freely without fear of bias, unfair treatment or prejudice.

 

For the many people who read my story you can get details of it in full from Cia or Mama Rush.

 

Love always from Joey

 

Keep Smiling

[Nephylim]

Don't you dare!!!!

 

This is a site full of very different people, different personalities and different perspectives. Of course there are going to be personality clashes and disagreements. There are going to be tantrums and rages. There are going to be prejudices and peeves. But there are also going to be moments of blinding revelation, friends gained and maybe enemies made. You can't please everyone but you can get such pleasure out of someone.

 

If you fall at the first hurdle you make all of this worth nothing. If you walk away from it... you walk away from life... because that is exactly what it is ... it's life hun

 

I don't want you to leave.

[Toast]

With Joey's permission below find his email

 

for infor concerning his story.

 

 

 

jjptex@yahoo.com

 

 

[Tomas]

OK! I'm convinced that I should read this story, but I haven't been able to find it. When I click on the link I get the following:

 

The story you are trying to reach either does not exist or has not been validated by the adminstrators of this site.

 

Searching for it by title or author has been futile.

 

Any suggestions.

[Graeme]

It appears that he's removed the story from eFiction. It is still on Nifty:

 

I think I'm in trouble

[Tomas]

It appears that he's removed the story from eFiction. It is still on Nifty:I think I'm in trouble

 

Thanks! I'll check it out there.

[Tomas]

Great story. I thought it was well written. I wasn't able to stop once I started. Spent the day reading all 23 chapters didn't accomplish anything I was planing on doing today.

 

I would have rather read it here in eFiction, but I'm glad that Graeme pointed me to the copy that is still on Nifty. I would have missed it otherwise.

 

Now I'd better go eat, since that was another thing that I didn't do. Just couldn't tear myself away.