Sex Or No Sex? Cynus' Stories Only.

[Cynus]

I've lately grown excessively tired of including sex scenes in my stories. I'm either bored or otherwise sick of writing them, but I wanted to know what your thoughts were on the subject.

Thanks! 

Votes are not public.

[Mikiesboy]

My response isn't on your poll. I think sex can enhance a relationship within a story. BUT I think you can live without them. For me to actually sit and write a sex scene, it's got to really feel right to me.

[Reader1810]

Either way is fine with me. I do like reading about couples who love each other and I've found that the story doesn't suffer if their bedroom scenes are kept private. 

[Graeme]

I can't answer the poll because there's no generic answer. Sometimes a sex scene is necessary for a story and other times it can be a major distraction to what's going on. It's up to the author to decide what's appropriate. If you feel weary with writing sex scenes, then don't. If you feel such a scene is needed, then address it at that time.

 

The only generic comment I can make is that unless sex is the purpose of the story, sex scenes are always optional. Some people like the option and some people are happy to skip them. Ultimately, it is always up to the author to decide.

[MrM]

It depends on the story, really.

 

Some stories are 'totally immersive' experiences where the sex is part of the bonding process that you feel vicariously through a character's POV. The graphic description of the sex is meant to make you a part of the expereince. To make it be YOU who are making love with as much of the feeling as words on a page can do for a person. In such stories, the sex is very important because it makes you feel the intensity of bond forming just like if it were happing to you personally. This sets up scenarios later that deepen all feelings from intense love to intense betrayal. However, the sex should be done tastefully and not done in 'Nifty' wank-o-vision fashion. That's what Pornhub is for. I credit Comsie for teaching me this.

 

Some stories are more romantic in nature where the sex is best suggested. The actual crude mechanical description of the sex can significanly 'cheapen' the love and emotional feelings you are trying to convey. Grunts and juicy messes do not make for a Romeo and Julius kind of romantic feeling. Ejaculate is usually not rose pink and smell like Tiffany Roses. If it is rose pink then we have a problem and someone needs to be tested.

 

Other stories are best made devoid of sex altogether. The plots have no place for it. I hate detective novels where the author has to throw a gratuitous sex scene in the middle of everything to 'spice things up'. I think it breaks the tension and flow of the story, usually.

Edited October 29, 2016 by MrM

[Puppilull]

I think you should go with what you are feeling. If you find the writing of sex boring, it's likely to show in the writing and that will lead to rather uninspired sex...

 

I enjoy a well written sex scene but in stories that don't include them I find I don't miss them. Personally, I think they are fun to write if I'm in the 'zone'. If not, it's difficult to get a flow to the scene that feels natural. A big part of me writing sex has also been to see if I actually can do it at all. An exercise for myself as a writer.

 

So in short - do what you feel is right. Follow your heart and instinct and trust in your stories. They don't need sex to sparkle. They do that very well without it.

Edited October 29, 2016 by Puppilull

[Sweetlion]

I agree with most of previous comments. I have read stories where I think that sex scenario were clearly missing, as a way for characters development, or to show the level of trust/love between characters. And I have read stories that didn't have and really didn't need a sex scene. So I guess that depends on the story, the plot, the characters and their personalities. It is like I don't need a sex scene for the story to be good, but  also have read some stories that wanted to be so romantic but without the sex/intimacy component that ended up being sterile and cold.

Edited September 6, 2017 by Sweetlion

[William King]

I agree with @Sweetlion and the previous comments, sex in the book depends on the story. I have read books about teenagers coming out, falling in love and there is no sex, ever, which is not realistic. Do you need to have graphic scenes, no, that's a choice. Graphic sex scenes certainly add spice, but they don't make the book good. That is down to writing style, plot and characters. 

 

It is difficult to vote in your poll, sex scenes do not detract from the story, often they are an intrinsic part, but as previously said - it depends on the story. I read (as you know) you latest book - Rivers of the Dead - it doesn't have any graphic sex scenes and it didn't need them.

 

As an aside, I dislike the sex tags that can be associated with stories on this site, including 'no sex' but the types of sex described by the tags here, for me, read like a porno site - I never use any of them.

 

[Dodger]

When I'm reading a story that has graphic sex, it needs to be realistic. In other words. I'm fed up of reading stories of supposedly inexperienced teenagers who suddenly are able to have perfect sex. It doesn't happen like that and if I include a sex scene in a story of mine, I try to keep it in context with the characters involved. If they are teenagers, and they're inexperienced then they're going to have a few blunders before they get it right. In the Cockney Canuck, Robbie had fumbled his way through and has had more than his share of problems.

 

One of the issues that I have with stories that feature graphic sex, is the tendency for authors to ignore the need for protection. I know that it's only fiction but I feel strongly that anyone who publishes a story online should also be responsible enough to show the need for safe sex. After all the criticisms aimed at the gay community over the years, I don't think that it helps when authors continue to write graphic sex scenes with no mention of condoms, especially when the characters are teenagers. It may not be an accurate reflection of our youth but I want to promote safe sex as much as I can and my characters always cover up, no matter what.         

[William King]

7 hours ago, Dodger said:

When I'm reading a story that has graphic sex, it needs to be realistic. In other words. I'm fed up of reading stories of supposedly inexperienced teenagers who suddenly are able to have perfect sex. It doesn't happen like that and if I include a sex scene in a story of mine, I try to keep it in context with the characters involved. If they are teenagers, and they're inexperienced then they're going to have a few blunders before they get it right. In the Cockney Canuck, Robbie had fumbled his way through and has had more than his share of problems.

 

One of the issues that I have with stories that feature graphic sex, is the tendency for authors to ignore the need for protection. I know that it's only fiction but I feel strongly that anyone who publishes a story online should also be responsible enough to show the need for safe sex. After all the criticisms aimed at the gay community over the years, I don't think that it helps when authors continue to write graphic sex scenes with no mention of condoms, especially when the characters are teenagers. It may not be an accurate reflection of our youth but I want to promote safe sex as much as I can and my characters always cover up, no matter what.         

 

There is a dichotomy here. On the one hand you want realism, on the other there are readers who want fantasy and escapism. There must be room for both in fiction, it is surely not bound to be realistic anymore than it is bound to offer the perfection of a happy ever after.

 

What is perfect sex? Everyone's experience of their first sexual encounters is not the same, some may fumble in the dark, others not.

 

The message of safe sex is a good message to promote, but not an absolute requirement. Where do you draw the line in a work of fiction - would you say that taking drugs has to be portrayed as negative with the message "just say no." And smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, driving intoxicated or at excess speed. If the story features rape or murder does it need to end with the villain being brought to justice?

 

You make valid and essentially very good points, but there has to be freedom of expression without constraint, there are always two sides to the coin, and I doubt anyone grows up without taking risks - risks that could get them injured or worse.

 

You want to promote safe sex amongst teenagers "even if it's not realistic," and on the flip side, you want realism in those first sexual encounters - I can't square the circle, and I don't say that to contradict your message about promoting safe sex, I am simply pointing out the dichotomy.