Corrupt A Wish

[drpaladin]

2 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

Granted. Now all you have to worry about are your perfectly dreadful feet. 

 

I wish tax forms and instructions made any sense. 

My feet are just fine. Thank you very much.

 

Granted. They make sense. Now you wish they didn't.

 

I wish I didn't know what's in Gatorade.

[Valkyrie]

3 hours ago, drpaladin said:

My feet are just fine. Thank you very much.

 

Granted. They make sense. Now you wish they didn't.

 

I wish I didn't know what's in Gatorade.

Granted.  You think Gatorade is made of gators.  

 

I wish my boss would tell us when she changes our job expectations.  

[Parker Owens]

Granted. You boss explicitly expects you to achieve world peace. In the US Senate. Tomorrow. 

 

I wish the charcoal in the grill was ready.

[Valkyrie]

Just now, Parker Owens said:

Granted. You boss explicitly expects you to achieve world peace. In the US Senate. Tomorrow. 

 

I wish the charcoal in the grill was ready.

  That might be easier than trying to get through to her sometimes.  

 

Granted.  The charcoal in the grill is the fast burning kind.  It burns so fast it turns to ash immediately after you light it.  (BTW, what time's dinner?  I'm on my way!   )  

 

I wish I had a nice grilled dinner.   

[Parker Owens]

13 hours ago, Valkyrie said:

  That might be easier than trying to get through to her sometimes.  

 

Granted.  The charcoal in the grill is the fast burning kind.  It burns so fast it turns to ash immediately after you light it.  (BTW, what time's dinner?  I'm on my way!   )  

 

I wish I had a nice grilled dinner.   

 

I am delighted to grant your wish: your dinner (though now stone cold) has been thoroughly questioned. Without a lawyer.

 

I wish someone else could do my morning chores for me.

[drpaladin]

Granted. You catch them sniffing your underwear. It is someone you would never ever want to see doing that.

 

I wish I had an entire crew up here doing everything I need to do.

[Parker Owens]

It is a rare pleasure to grant your wish: the entire crew of the Klingon War Vessel Bghagthraghth has taken over your house. 

 

I wish the deer would stop eating my flowers.

[drpaladin]

4 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

It is a rare pleasure to grant your wish: the entire crew of the Klingon War Vessel Bghagthraghth has taken over your house. 

 

I wish the deer would stop eating my flowers.

Granted. Your car's upolstry is more inviting.

 

I wish things would stop disappearing when I need them.

[Parker Owens]

3 minutes ago, drpaladin said:

Granted. Your car's upolstry is more inviting.

 

I wish things would stop disappearing when I need them.

 

Granted. You now have a houseful of partially disappeared items. Not sure how to use that screwdriver now...

 

I wish the neighbor would stop mowing his lawn at dawn every Saturday. 

[drpaladin]

1 minute ago, Parker Owens said:

 

Granted. You now have a houseful of partially disappeared items. Not sure how to use that screwdriver now...

 

I wish the neighbor would stop mowing his lawn at dawn every Saturday. 

Granted. He gets lights and now mows only after 1AM.

 

I wish I wanted to do all this work.

[Valkyrie]

2 minutes ago, drpaladin said:

Granted. He gets lights and now mows only after 1AM.

 

I wish I wanted to do all this work.

Granted  Your only desire in life is to do all the work that needs to be done.  And it's already been done.

 

I wish I had remembered where I put my credit card yesterday.  

19 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

It is a rare pleasure to grant your wish: the entire crew of the Klingon War Vessel Bghagthraghth has taken over your house. 

 

  

 

[drpaladin]

4 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted  Your only desire in life is to do all the work that needs to be done.  And it's already been done.

 

I wish I had remembered where I put my credit card yesterday.  

 

Granted. It'll only take 2 or 3 months to get those charges reversed .

 

I wish I was in a better mood.

 

 

[Valkyrie]

2 minutes ago, drpaladin said:

Granted. It'll only take 2 or 3 months to get those charges reversed .

 

I wish I was in a better mood.

 

 

Granted.  Now you're only cranky vs avoid-at-all-costs.   

 

I wish I was better about putting my CC in my wallet when I was done using it.  (I found it, BTW  ) 

[drpaladin]

13 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  Now you're only cranky vs avoid-at-all-costs.   

 

I wish I was better about putting my CC in my wallet when I was done using it.  (I found it, BTW  ) 

Granted. You get an electric shock every time you forget.

 

I wish I could find my hedge loppers. A hand pruner isn't going to be pleasant.

[Valkyrie]

Just now, drpaladin said:

Granted. You get an electric shock every time you forget.

 

I wish I could find my hedge loppers. A hand pruner isn't going to be pleasant.

Granted.  You find them, but the blades are dull and pitted and the hand pruners are clearly the better option. 

 

I wish my clients would be on time today.  

[Parker Owens]

 

It is a delight and a joy to grant this wish: your clients are on time and well prepared. The trouble is, you're definitely not their defense attorney.

 

I wish the noisy motorcycles did not feel it essential to accelerate directly in front of my house. 

[Valkyrie]

13 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

 

It is a delight and a joy to grant this wish: your clients are on time and well prepared. The trouble is, you're definitely not their defense attorney.

 

I wish the noisy motorcycles did not feel it essential to accelerate directly in front of my house. 

Granted.  They now run drag races up and down your street all day and night.  

 

I wish I had a Klingon Bird of Prey.  

[Parker Owens]

What a marvelous day it is to grant you this wish! You now possess one (1) Klingon Bird of Prey. It is currently chasing your cats frantically  about your house...

 

I wish someone wanted all my spare tomato plants.

[Valkyrie]

3 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

What a marvelous day it is to grant you this wish! You now possess one (1) Klingon Bird of Prey. It is currently chasing your cats frantically  about your house...

 

I wish someone wanted all my spare tomato plants.

Granted.  They want all your tomato plants and take them, leaving you with none.

 

I wish the blinds weren't broken so I could see out the window. 

[Cynus]

11 hours ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  They want all your tomato plants and take them, leaving you with none.

 

I wish the blinds weren't broken so I could see out the window. 

Granted. Now you can see out your window, but everything is dark, and you realize your house has been sucked into a cosmic void of some sort. You try to replace the blinds but find that you've broken them again, and they will no longer allow you to see anything but the cold, dark, nothingness outside your home.

I wish it was already October.

[Valkyrie]

Just now, Cynus said:

Granted. Now you can see out your window, but everything is dark, and you realize your house has been sucked into a cosmic void of some sort. You try to replace the blinds but find that you've broken them again, and they will no longer allow you to see anything but the cold, dark, nothingness outside your home.

I wish it was already October.

Granted.  You think it's October all the time, so they lock you in the loony bin.  

 

I wish I hadn't put salt in my seafood salad.  

[Cynus]

20 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  You think it's October all the time, so they lock you in the loony bin.  

 

I wish I hadn't put salt in my seafood salad.  

Granted. You forgot to put any salt at all in your seafood salad, so all the salt content in the seafood means it will no longer be part of your salad. You don't even recognize what you're eating anymore.

 

I wish I had telekinetic powers.

[Valkyrie]

7 minutes ago, Cynus said:

Granted. You forgot to put any salt at all in your seafood salad, so all the salt content in the seafood means it will no longer be part of your salad. You don't even recognize what you're eating anymore.

 

I wish I had telekinetic powers.

Granted.  But you can't control them and everywhere you go objects start flying toward you and every person in the vicinity causing mass panic wherever you go. 

 

I wish I could juggle.  

[Cynus]

1 minute ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  But you can't control them and everywhere you go objects start flying toward you and every person in the vicinity causing mass panic wherever you go. 

 

I wish I could juggle.  

Granted. You can, but with my telekinetic powers. 

 

I wish Valkyrie could juggle.

[Valkyrie]

Just now, Cynus said:

Granted. You can, but with my telekinetic powers. 

 

I wish Valkyrie could juggle.

Aww...   I'm not going to corrupt that wish   Thanks, my friend

 

I wish Cynus had reliable telekinetic powers.