Corrupt A Wish

[Valkyrie]

1 minute ago, Drew Espinosa said:

 You are so evil, DrP!  

 

Granted, you are on a cruise, but... it shipwrecks!  

 

I wish I was a King!  

Granted.  You are a king.  Burger King.  Where you work for the rest of your life. 

 

Just now, drpaladin said:

Granted. You get a three month vacation. Too bad it's unpaid.

 

I wish nose hair grew slower.  lol

Granted.  Your nose hair now grows 1/10000th of a second slower. 

 

I wish I had eaten dinner. 

[Parker Owens]

How easy it is to grant this wish with a wave of my wand. You have eaten dinner; dinner as it was lovingly prepared for the penguins at the aquarium. 

 

I wish I understood my computer. 

[drpaladin]

7 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

How easy it is to grant this wish with a wave of my wand. You have eaten dinner; dinner as it was lovingly prepared for the penguins at the aquarium. 

 

I wish I understood my computer. 

 

Granted. You completely understand your computer, but now can't understand or relate to humans.

 

I wish I were in a better mood this morning.

[Valkyrie]

12 hours ago, drpaladin said:

 

Granted. You completely understand your computer, but now can't understand or relate to humans.

 

I wish I were in a better mood this morning.

Granted.  You are now so cloyingly sweet that no one wants anything to do with you. 

 

I wish my eye doctor appointment tomorrow goes well. 

[Parker Owens]

Happily granted. Your appointment with your eye doctor goes swimmingly, marvelously well. Of course, your eye doctor was delighted to change your oil, too...

 

I wish my air conditioner worked. 

[drpaladin]

6 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

Happily granted. Your appointment with your eye doctor goes swimmingly, marvelously well. Of course, your eye doctor was delighted to change your oil, too...

 

I wish my air conditioner worked. 

I'm still trying to imagine myself being cloyingly sweet.

 

Granted. It conditions the air hotter.

 

I wish I had something here cloyingly sweet, other than me.

[Valkyrie]

10 hours ago, drpaladin said:

I'm still trying to imagine myself being cloyingly sweet.

 

Granted. It conditions the air hotter.

 

I wish I had something here cloyingly sweet, other than me.

Granted.  You have a bag full of sugar.  

 

I wish my client would arrive on time for their appointments today.  

[Parker Owens]

It is the pinnacle of happiness to grant you this wish. Your clients are on time. However, your car refused to start and you are 45 minutes behind schedule.

 

I wish my haircut looked better. 

[Valkyrie]

Just now, Parker Owens said:

It is the pinnacle of happiness to grant you this wish. Your clients are on time. However, your car refused to start and you are 45 minutes behind schedule.

 It's a good thing that I'm already here, then.   

I wish my haircut looked better. 

Granted.  Your barber missed one less spot than he usually does. 

 

I wish I remembered more French from high school. 

[drpaladin]

4 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  Your barber missed one less spot than he usually does. 

 

I wish I remembered more French from high school. 

Granted. It's a dirty word though.

 

I wish I wan't thinking of pizza this early in the morning.

[Valkyrie]

2 minutes ago, drpaladin said:

Granted. It's a dirty word though.

 

I wish I wan't thinking of pizza this early in the morning.

Granted.  You're thinking about mushrooms instead.  

 

I wish the air conditioning would kick on. 

[drpaladin]

2 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  You're thinking about mushrooms instead.  

 

I wish the air conditioning would kick on. 

Granted. It kicks on and the compressor locks up.

 

I wish I felt like getting up.

[Valkyrie]

1 minute ago, drpaladin said:

Granted. It kicks on and the compressor locks up.

 

I wish I felt like getting up.

Granted.  You feel like getting up, but never do, missing several important appointments that can't be rescheduled. 

 

I wish my eye appointment was for another day so I could go grocery shopping this afternoon. 

[Parker Owens]

1 minute ago, drpaladin said:

Granted. It kicks on and the compressor locks up.

 

I wish I felt like getting up.

 

How fortunate I am to be given the privilege of granting this wish. Of course you feel like getting up: the lamp fell over onto the metal bedframe, giving you 110 volts' worth of reasons to get up.

 

I wish I didn't have a doctor's appointment today.

[drpaladin]

5 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  You feel like getting up, but never do, missing several important appointments that can't be rescheduled. 

 

I wish my eye appointment was for another day so I could go grocery shopping this afternoon. 

 

4 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

 

How fortunate I am to be given the privilege of granting this wish. Of course you feel like getting up: the lamp fell over onto the metal bedframe, giving you 110 volts' worth of reasons to get up.

 

I wish I didn't have a doctor's appointment today.

Granted. Neither of you have Dr appointments today., but fate intervenes and you try to go anyway. You know how that works out.

 

I wish I hadn't forgotten that Coke in the freezer.

Edited July 20, 2017 by drpaladin

[Valkyrie]

18 minutes ago, drpaladin said:

 

Granted. Neither of you have Dr appointments today., but fate intervenes and you try to go anyway. You know how that works out.

 

I wish I hadn't forgotten that Coke in the freezer.

Granted.  You put it in the oven instead. 

 

I wish it wouldn't rain this afternoon.

[drpaladin]

30 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  You put it in the oven instead. 

 

I wish it wouldn't rain this afternoon.

Granted. It rains all day instead.

 

I wish my packages would get here earlier today than projected.

[Valkyrie]

19 minutes ago, drpaladin said:

Granted. It rains all day instead.

 

I wish my packages would get here earlier today than projected.

Granted.  They arrive when you are in the shower.  You needed to sign for them and this was your last chance, so they're all being returned to the senders. 

 

I wish everyone was as enthusiastic as my client is when he gets a match in "Go Fish".   

[Parker Owens]

Such a delight it is to grant you this wish. A certain nameless world leader just said to North Korea: "gIve me all of your nuclear missiles...". To which Kim Jong Un replied with his finger on a big red button: "GO FISH!"

 

I wish I the hummingbird feeders didn't need cleaning.

[Valkyrie]

4 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

Such a delight it is to grant you this wish. A certain nameless world leader just said to North Korea: "gIve me all of your nuclear missiles...". To which Kim Jong Un replied with his finger on a big red button: "GO FISH!"

I wish I the hummingbird feeders didn't need cleaning.

Granted, my dear.  The hummingbird feeders no longer need cleaning because there are no hummingbirds to visit them. 

 

I wish I had a pet kangaroo. 

[Slytherin]

Granted, his name is Scabbers and he wears boxing gloves.. you vetter watch out

 

 

I wish I wasn't so sad  

[Valkyrie]

7 hours ago, Slytherin said:

Granted, his name is Scabbers and he wears boxing gloves.. you vetter watch out

 

 

I wish I wasn't so sad  

Granted.  I'm not going to corrupt that wish, though.  I wish you weren't so sad, too.   

 

I wish someone would do my grocery shopping for me.  

[drpaladin]

On 7/21/2017 at 10:39 AM, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  I'm not going to corrupt that wish, though.  I wish you weren't so sad, too.   

 

I wish someone would do my grocery shopping for me.  

+

Granted. They ignore your list, buy things they like, and spend your entire monthly grocery budget. There is nothing you want to eat. Can you tell I've tried doing that?

 

I wish I hadn't begun watching this marathon. I can't stop.

[Valkyrie]

On 7/23/2017 at 9:44 PM, drpaladin said:

+

Granted. They ignore your list, buy things they like, and spend your entire monthly grocery budget. There is nothing you want to eat. Can you tell I've tried doing that?

 

I wish I hadn't begun watching this marathon. I can't stop.

Granted.  You marathon watch golf instead. 

 

I wish it wouldn't rain tomorrow.  (I seem to be wishing for that a lot... lol) 

[drpaladin]

19 hours ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  You marathon watch golf instead. 

 

I wish it wouldn't rain tomorrow.  (I seem to be wishing for that a lot... lol) 

Granted. You get golf ball sized hail instead.

 

I wish I had something else here to eat, and nothing even close to mushrooms either.