Corrupt A Wish

[Valkyrie]

3 minutes ago, drpaladin said:

 

Granted. Dinner is sitting very placidly on the counter watching you.

 

I wish it hadn't rained all day.

Granted.  It snowed all day instead. 

 

I wish my dinner would stop staring at me.  

[drpaladin]

1 minute ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  It snowed all day instead. 

 

I wish my dinner would stop staring at me.  

Granted. Now it has a blindfold, but makes plaintive noises.

 

I wish I knew where my snow shoes were.

[Valkyrie]

Just now, drpaladin said:

Granted. Now it has a blindfold, but makes plaintive noises.

 

I wish I knew where my snow shoes were.

 

 

Granted.  You know where they are.  In the shed. Outside.  Buried in snow. 

 

I wish my dinner would shut up.  

[Reader1810]

Granted: Your dinner shut up and walked away in a huff, never to be seen again.

 

I wish I knew why my printer doesn't print given that the ink cartridges are relatively new. 

[Cynus]

24 minutes ago, Reader1810 said:

Granted: Your dinner shut up and walked away in a huff, never to be seen again.

 

I wish I knew why my printer doesn't print given that the ink cartridges are relatively new. 

Granted. You now know that your printer is at the heart of a government conspiracy orchestrated by the ink companies, who want to make you spend lots of money on ink without any returns. Be careful. They're watching you...

I wish there were more divers at the pool today.

[Daddydavek]

4 hours ago, Cynus said:

Granted. You now know that your printer is at the heart of a government conspiracy orchestrated by the ink companies, who want to make you spend lots of money on ink without any returns. Be careful. They're watching you...

I wish there were more divers at the pool today.

Granted but they all wore baggy board shorts and loose tee shirts.

 

I wish it would only rain at night.

[Cynus]

17 hours ago, Daddydavek said:

Granted but they all wore baggy board shorts and loose tee shirts.

 

I wish it would only rain at night.

Granted. Now it rains every night, with thunder and lightning so loud and bright you can never sleep.

 

I wish I had energy to exercise...

 

 

[drpaladin]

25 minutes ago, Cynus said:

Granted. Now it rains every night, with thunder and lightning so loud and bright you can never sleep.

 

I wish I had energy to exercise...

 

 

Granted. You become addicted to the endorphins and can't stop.  It ruins your social life and you get an accent like the Arnold.

 

I wish I hadn't put off all this crap that I now only have a week to do.

[Cynus]

40 minutes ago, drpaladin said:

Granted. You become addicted to the endorphins and can't stop.  It ruins your social life and you get an accent like the Arnold.

 

I wish I hadn't put off all this crap that I now only have a week to do.

Granted. You did it all early, but realized today that it was all done incorrectly, resulting in doubling your workload.

 

I wish I could visit Costa Rica right now.

[drpaladin]

3 minutes ago, Cynus said:

Granted. You did it all early, but realized today that it was all done incorrectly, resulting in doubling your workload.

 

I wish I could visit Costa Rica right now.

Granted. Too bad you are a double for an international criminal. Uh oh

 

I wish someone would move that flat rock the cows are relieving themselves on.

[Cynus]

4 minutes ago, drpaladin said:

Granted. Too bad you are a double for an international criminal. Uh oh

 

I wish someone would move that flat rock the cows are relieving themselves on.

Granted, the person moving it is you, and you don't get to wear gloves.

 

I wish I was in the Yakuza. (Inspired by my last granted wish,  )

Edited June 23, 2017 by Cynus

[drpaladin]

2 minutes ago, Cynus said:

Granted, the person moving it is you, and you don't get to wear gloves.

 

I wish I was in the Yakuza. (Inspired by my last granted wish,  

Granted. You make lots of mistakes and now have only a thumb and forefinger on each hand.

 

I wish it wasn't so easy to deceive people.

[Cynus]

27 minutes ago, drpaladin said:

Granted. You make lots of mistakes and now have only a thumb and forefinger on each hand.

 

I wish it wasn't so easy to deceive people.

YUBITSUME! (Thank you, that made my day)

Granted. Deception is no longer possible, all nations' secrets have been revealed, jumpstarting World War III as each country finds out how much spying the other countries have been doing.

 

I wish I had some non-spoiled Korean food to eat...

[drpaladin]

9 minutes ago, Cynus said:

YUBITSUME! (Thank you, that made my day)

Granted. Deception is no longer possible, all nations' secrets have been revealed, jumpstarting World War III as each country finds out how much spying the other countries have been doing.

 

I wish I had some non-spoiled Korean food to eat...

Granted. You have an unlimited supply of kimchi. Now everyone gives you a wide berth. (Does kimchi really qualify as unspoiled?)

 

I wish I didn't want to just go back to sleep.

 

 

[Cynus]

1 minute ago, drpaladin said:

Granted. You have an unlimited supply of kimchi. Now everyone gives you a wide berth. (Does kimchi really qualify as unspoiled?)

 

I wish I didn't want to just go back to sleep.

 

 

I think that's the best granted wish yet! I would love to have unlimited kimchi, and if they stay away, more for me.

Granted. You now no longer wish to sleep, but you've also developed narcolepsy. 

 

I wish there was more coffee in my thermos...

[drpaladin]

4 minutes ago, Cynus said:

I think that's the best granted wish yet! I would love to have unlimited kimchi, and if they stay away, more for me.

Granted. You now no longer wish to sleep, but you've also developed narcolepsy. 

 

I wish there was more coffee in my thermos...

Granted. You now have a thermos full of the worst coffee imaginable. On the bright side, it does a great job polishing metal.

 

I wish the humidity was lower.

[Valkyrie]

2 minutes ago, drpaladin said:

Granted. You now have a thermos full of the worst coffee imaginable. On the bright side, it does a great job polishing metal.

 

I wish the humidity was lower.

Granted.  The humidity is so low your skin shrivels up like dry leather.  

 

I wish I had saved my cookie for later.  

[drpaladin]

3 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  The humidity is so low your skin shrivels up like dry leather.  

 

I wish I had saved my cookie for later.  

Granted. But now it's stale.

 

I wish I had moisturizer for my dry skin.

[Valkyrie]

Just now, drpaladin said:

Granted. But now it's stale.

 

I wish I had moisturizer for my dry skin.

Granted.  You have a drop of moisturizer.  It doesn't work. 

 

I wish my foot would stop itching.  

[drpaladin]

1 minute ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  You have a drop of moisturizer.  It doesn't work. 

 

I wish my foot would stop itching.  

Granted. Now you itch in places you can't get to.

 

I wish I had a chocolate milk shake.

[Valkyrie]

Just now, drpaladin said:

Granted. Now you itch in places you can't get to.

 

I wish I had a chocolate milk shake.

Granted.  You have a chocolate mushroom milkshake   

 

I wish my lawn guys would trim the suckers growing from the base of the tree in my front yard. 

[drpaladin]

1 minute ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  You have a chocolate mushroom milkshake   

 

I wish my lawn guys would trim the suckers growing from the base of the tree in my front yard. 

Granted. They also poison the tree so no more will grow.

 

I wish I didn't need to go to the mailbox.

[Valkyrie]

Just now, drpaladin said:

Granted. They also poison the tree so no more will grow.

 

I wish I didn't need to go to the mailbox.

Granted.  The mailbox comes to you and it's not happy. 

 

I wish my cats wouldn't barf on the floor.  

[drpaladin]

6 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

Granted.  The mailbox comes to you and it's not happy. 

 

I wish my cats wouldn't barf on the floor.  

It's never happy. Would you be happy with a strange guy shoving his hand down your throat daily?  lol

 

Granted. The cats wait patiently and barf in your face. Sneaky devils...

 

I wish someone would call and invite me over for a nice grilled steak.

Edited June 23, 2017 by drpaladin

[Valkyrie]

2 minutes ago, drpaladin said:

It's never happy. Would you be happy with a strange guy shoving his hand down your throat daily?  lol

 

Granted. The cats wait patiently and barf in your face. Sneaky devils...

 

I wish someone would call and invite me over for a nice grilled steak.

  

 

Granted.  I call you and invite you over for grilled pickled herring steak.  With mushroom sauce.  

 

I wish I had a grill so I could grill Dr. P's steak.