The Drop in Centre

[Fae Briona]

The joy of spring -- storm front after  storm front, leaving no time for the joints to drop back to my baseline pain level.  Blood pressure tonight was 142/90; a combination of cumulative pain and lack of sleep.

And, to be honest, a feeling of distance between SP and I that I'm not sure where comes from.

[kbois]

Note to self.... metal tape measures will slice the hell out of your finger if you're not careful. To make matters worse my phone unlocks with my fingerprint...yup, same one that is now encased in a large band-aid. Back to using the pin#. 

@Fae Briona hang in there. I know how tough it is to deal with aches and pains and distant spouses. Hopefully it gets better soon. 

[Mikiesboy]

15 hours ago, Fae Briona said:

The joy of spring -- storm front after  storm front, leaving no time for the joints to drop back to my baseline pain level.  Blood pressure tonight was 142/90; a combination of cumulative pain and lack of sleep.

And, to be honest, a feeling of distance between SP and I that I'm not sure where comes from.

i think the feeling of distance is normal in a relationship. it's happened to us a few times over the years...life slides between you... jobs, groceries, cleaning the toilet..just the day to day stuff that wears us down.   If you can make a date to go for a walk ... walking = talking, very often.  And our one ritual is in bed at night.... where we hold each other and talk about the day, how we feel. We do this every night, even if all we really need to talk about is whether we liked the new spaghetti sauce we made. Laughing is allowed too!

but it's important to talk .. not to let things slide..

xo

[Ryan Jones]

2 hours ago, Mikiesboy said:

i think the feeling of distance is normal in a relationship. it's happened to us a few times over the years...life slides between you... jobs, groceries, cleaning the toilet..just the day to day stuff that wears us down.   If you can make a date to go for a walk ... walking = talking, very often.  And our one ritual is in bed at night.... where we hold each other and talk about the day, how we feel. We do this every night, even if all we really need to talk about is whether we liked the new spaghetti sauce we made. Laughing is allowed too!

but it's important to talk .. not to let things slide..

xo

Justin and I have been together almost 10 years. We didn't live together until he finished high school and we do the same type of thing. So far we've never had an argument, it's not making up, it's just absorbing the aura and the heat of the person you love.

[Mikiesboy]

28 minutes ago, Ryan Jones said:

Justin and I have been together almost 10 years. We didn't live together until he finished high school and we do the same type of thing. So far we've never had an argument, it's not making up, it's just absorbing the aura and the heat of the person you love.

Michael and i have been married ... 11 years.. 12 as of later this year.  We don't argue,  that is often down to our chosen lifestyle but it works for us. i can make my feelings known, however it must be done properly. But i am very happy in myself, Him and how we live. 

Relationships must be nurtured and cherished so the people in them grow and thrive. We have to expect there will be bumps and challenges along the way.

[chris191070]

4 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

Michael and i have been married ... 11 years.. 12 as of later this year.  We don't argue,  that is often down to our chosen lifestyle but it works for us. i can make my feelings known, however it must be done properly. But i am very happy in myself, Him and how we live. 

Relationships must be nurtured and cherished so the people in them grow and thrive. We have to expect there will be bumps and challenges along the way.

Me and Mark have been together 23 years and married 6 years. 

[Mikiesboy]

2 minutes ago, chris191070 said:

Me and Mark have been together 23 years and married 6 years. 

that's wonderful, chris!!  You've really been married all that time, in your hearts.. that made me smile xoxo

[kbois]

1 hour ago, Ryan Jones said:

Justin and I have been together almost 10 years. We didn't live together until he finished high school and we do the same type of thing. So far we've never had an argument, it's not making up, it's just absorbing the aura and the heat of the person you love.

 

31 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

Michael and i have been married ... 11 years.. 12 as of later this year.  We don't argue,  that is often down to our chosen lifestyle but it works for us. i can make my feelings known, however it must be done properly. But i am very happy in myself, Him and how we live. 

Relationships must be nurtured and cherished so the people in them grow and thrive. We have to expect there will be bumps and challenges along the way.

 

26 minutes ago, chris191070 said:

Me and Mark have been together 23 years and married 6 years. 

I've been married 28 years. We dated for 6 before that. It's had so many highs and lows and even after all this time it's still challenging. Communication is the hardest thing to maintain sometimes, especially when you fall into repeating patterns...whether good or bad. 

[Kitt]

I agree, keeping them talking is the hardest part!  I think I got the record. We have known each other 44 years, together 41 and married 39 of 'em.  But that is probably due to being older than a majority of you!

[Fae Briona]

8 hours ago, Mikiesboy said:

i think the feeling of distance is normal in a relationship. it's happened to us a few times over the years...life slides between you... jobs, groceries, cleaning the toilet..just the day to day stuff that wears us down.   If you can make a date to go for a walk ... walking = talking, very often.  And our one ritual is in bed at night.... where we hold each other and talk about the day, how we feel. We do this every night, even if all we really need to talk about is whether we liked the new spaghetti sauce we made. Laughing is allowed too!

but it's important to talk .. not to let things slide..

xo

We found time to be together and talk about stuff. Things are much improved.

[Ryan Jones]

7 hours ago, Kitt said:

I agree, keeping them talking is the hardest part!  I think I got the record. We have known each other 44 years, together 41 and married 39 of 'em.  But that is probably due to being older than a majority of you!

I probably have you beat in the age department. I'll be 70 next month. I always tell people that you're only as old as the youngest member of the relationship though so when people are gauche enough to ask my age when Justin and I are out together, I tell them I'm 25. A weird thought, if Justin and I are together for 44 years, there will have to be some serious strides made in human longevity, I'll be 104! lol

I have a son who is 47, 3 grandchildren and 2 greats. Managed to avoid the whole wife thing, been happily unmarried my entire life but it's important to Justin so I'm going to do it.

[mollyhousemouse]

hi all
it's been a long week with a satisfying ending
@Fae Briona i'm so glad you were able to talk about what you were feeling with SP

i hope to be around a little bit more these days

[kbois]

7 hours ago, mollyhousemouse said:

hi all
it's been a long week with a satisfying ending
@Fae Briona i'm so glad you were able to talk about what you were feeling with SP

i hope to be around a little bit more these days

It's good to hear from you molly. You've been missed. Glad your week has gone well. 

Hope everyone has a good day!

[Mikiesboy]

 

[kbois]

Well, hubby had his doctor's appt this morning. Still no answers, but... he said this is the first doctor that actually listened to him when he listed all his symptoms and is going to run some tests on something other than his heart and lungs which is what they usually focus on when they find out he's severely asthmatic. And of course everything comes back normal.

It's not normal  to have swallowing difficulties when you're only 53. I've been worried because he nearly always chokes whenever he eats. He's afraid to eat while he's working so by the time he gets home he's hangry. (Guess who usually bears the brunt of it)

So he has labs scheduled as well as a full upper and lower GI series of tests. They also gave him a prescription for his severe acid reflux and something for his depression which runs in his family. I'm hoping it helps. 

[Reader1810]

18 minutes ago, kbois said:

I'm hoping it helps. 

Fingers crossed for your hubby that they find out what’s wrong, and it’s easily remedied. 

[Ryan Jones]

1 hour ago, kbois said:

Well, hubby had his doctor's appt this morning. Still no answers, but... he said this is the first doctor that actually listened to him when he listed all his symptoms and is going to run some tests on something other than his heart and lungs which is what they usually focus on when they find out he's severely asthmatic. And of course everything comes back normal.

It's not normal  to have swallowing difficulties when you're only 53. I've been worried because he nearly always chokes whenever he eats. He's afraid to eat while he's working so by the time he gets home he's hangry. (Guess who usually bears the brunt of it)

So he has labs scheduled as well as a full upper and lower GI series of tests. They also gave him a prescription for his severe acid reflux and something for his depression which runs in his family. I'm hoping it helps. 

Sounds like an esophageal stricture to me. Usually correctable by stretching. It's something that runs in our family. Google it and see how well it fits the symptoms. An endoscopy will tell for sure if he has it. Then you have essentially another endoscopy by a surgeon that enlarges it. You often have to have it done multiple times over the years.

Edited March 19, 2021 by Ryan Jones

[kbois]

1 hour ago, Reader1810 said:

Fingers crossed for your hubby that they find out what’s wrong, and it’s easily remedied. 

Thanks Reader!

17 minutes ago, Ryan Jones said:

Sounds like an esophageal stricture to me. Usually correctable by stretching. It's something that runs in our family. Google it and see how well it fits the symptoms. An endoscopy will tell for sure if he has it. Then you have essentially another endoscopy by a surgeon that enlarges it. You often have to have it done multiple times over the years.

I've had to stop googling. He has multiple issues in addition to that and both of the diagnoses that my brain has fixated on are not good. One is terminal, the other incurable but treatable while the quality of life slowly declines. So yeah...I stopped Googling and will let the doctors figure it out. It's hard though when my gut keeps telling me it's serious. 

I do appreciate the suggestion. 

[Ryan Jones]

3 minutes ago, kbois said:

Thanks Reader!

I've had to stop googling. He has multiple issues in addition to that and both of the diagnoses that my brain has fixated on are not good. One is terminal, the other incurable but treatable while the quality of life slowly declines. So yeah...I stopped Googling and will let the doctors figure it out. It's hard though when my gut keeps telling me it's serious. 

I do appreciate the suggestion. 

I can understand. I'm one of these people who like to personally research everything before I go to the doctor. If I have a diagnosis in mind and the doctor has a different one then it's important to me that he/she explain why they think their diagnosis is better than mine. Believe it or not I've never had a doctor get offended by this, I think they appreciate it if you're as interested in your own health enough to do background work.

 

[Kitt]

4 hours ago, Mikiesboy said:

 

I learned something today. Do NOT agree to transport horses to the riding academy in Brooklyn NY. Can't take the trailer on the belt parkway, and downtown Brooklyn is not trailer friendly!

[Kitt]

18 minutes ago, Ryan Jones said:

 I think they appreciate it if you're as interested in your own health enough to do background work.

 

My oncologist loved how well I understood the possibilities and probable treatment. Mom's first oncologist not so much. Hence the reason he was the first but not the last.

[kbois]

19 minutes ago, Kitt said:

I learned something today. Do NOT agree to transport horses to the riding academy in Brooklyn NY. Can't take the trailer on the belt parkway, and downtown Brooklyn is not trailer friendly!

I don't envy you one bit. Both my kids nearly lost their lives on the Cross Bronx Expway. (Because of me... I almost stopped in traffic to strangle both of them)

We drove MD to MA at least 2x a year when we lived up there. I  always hated going through NYC. I thought hauling a 24ft moving truck was bad. Hauling live animals must be twice as stressful!

[kbois]

Warning....rant in progress.

I have unfortunately witnessed firsthand stupidity at its finest. 

My brother up in MA got my mom on the waiting list for the Covid vaccine because our other brother here wouldn't do it. He was notified that mom has an appt Monday afternoon. Yay!

Well...MA brother calls FL brother to let him know. Right off the bat FL brother says "it better not be Monday, she has a doctor's appointment". 🤨 MA brother tells FL brother that I'll take her if he can't. Of course FL brother starts bitching and moaning. They hang up. 

Shortly after MA brother texts me to let me know that the stupid fucktard that we're unfortunately related to CANCELLED MY MOM'S VACCINATION APPOINTMENT!! Yes, I'm yelling. I'm so fed up with him. 

I called my mom's doctor wanting to leave a message for her provider to kindly beat some sense into my idiot brother. Lo and behold I'm told that she has no appointment Monday. (I'm one of her healthcare proxies). This tells me that she either has an appointment to get her ears cleaned out or to get her toenails cut. Those are the only other doctors that she sees. WTF?

I'm at a total loss. I did get a text later from MA brother. The idiot brother got mom back onto the waiting list and added himself as her caretaker. 

His son is getting married in two weeks. I was supposed to take mom to the wedding. I figured she'd have her 1st shot by then, I'd mask her up and keep her distanced. Now I'm going to pick her up the day before, not say a word to my brother and text him the next day to let him know we won't be there. I'm not about to expose a 90yr old to a bunch of uneducated, ignorant, unvaccinated idiots. 

I just don't get it. I want to give up, throw in the towel and never speak to this brother again. But I can't. I have to put up with this shit for the sake of my mom and play nice in the sandbox or I may never get to see her again.

*exhale...big sigh*

I'm going to let go of the anger, enjoy the weekend with my family and try to deal with this rationally next week. Ugh. 

Sorry for unloading. Rant over. 

 

[spyke]

11 hours ago, kbois said:

Warning....rant in progress.

I have unfortunately witnessed firsthand stupidity at its finest. 

My brother up in MA got my mom on the waiting list for the Covid vaccine because our other brother here wouldn't do it. He was notified that mom has an appt Monday afternoon. Yay!

Well...MA brother calls FL brother to let him know. Right off the bat FL brother says "it better not be Monday, she has a doctor's appointment". 🤨 MA brother tells FL brother that I'll take her if he can't. Of course FL brother starts bitching and moaning. They hang up. 

Shortly after MA brother texts me to let me know that the stupid fucktard that we're unfortunately related to CANCELLED MY MOM'S VACCINATION APPOINTMENT!! Yes, I'm yelling. I'm so fed up with him. 

I called my mom's doctor wanting to leave a message for her provider to kindly beat some sense into my idiot brother. Lo and behold I'm told that she has no appointment Monday. (I'm one of her healthcare proxies). This tells me that she either has an appointment to get her ears cleaned out or to get her toenails cut. Those are the only other doctors that she sees. WTF?

I'm at a total loss. I did get a text later from MA brother. The idiot brother got mom back onto the waiting list and added himself as her caretaker. 

His son is getting married in two weeks. I was supposed to take mom to the wedding. I figured she'd have her 1st shot by then, I'd mask her up and keep her distanced. Now I'm going to pick her up the day before, not say a word to my brother and text him the next day to let him know we won't be there. I'm not about to expose a 90yr old to a bunch of uneducated, ignorant, unvaccinated idiots. 

I just don't get it. I want to give up, throw in the towel and never speak to this brother again. But I can't. I have to put up with this shit for the sake of my mom and play nice in the sandbox or I may never get to see her again.

*exhale...big sigh*

I'm going to let go of the anger, enjoy the weekend with my family and try to deal with this rationally next week. Ugh. 

Sorry for unloading. Rant over. 

 

That just sucks. By all reports that I've seen, it's really difficult to get vaccinated in FL.  Hearing stories like this make me realize how blessed I was to be an only child. I did what I thought was best for my parents and that was that.  I wish you peace and calm over the next few days. 

[Ryan Jones]

Those of you who have gone through a wedding. Did you have batshit crazy soon-to-be inlaws who wish everything to be over the top for their only son and grandson?

I've decided (since they're paying for it all) that my job is to just nod and say yes but it's not easy. Yesterday the grandmother was saying they should have Justin sprinkled with red rose petals as he walks to me at the, for lack of a better word, altar. There's nothing "religious" in any way about any of the participants.

Me - "How many rose petals would you need?"

Her - "Maybe 50,000 ?"

Me - Mouth gapes open, we'll have rose petals 2" deep I'm thinking

Justin - "Do they all have to be red?"

Me - OMG, he thinks it sounds good

It's not really expensive, I think I looked it up and you can buy 5000 for $100 or so. It's just going to be an outdoor wedding (or tented if it's a bad day) and I can see it being a little windy. Can you imagine their entire neighborhood swirling with rose petals? Or the machine malfunctions and all 50k petals drop on my poor baby at once?

I guess I'm just lucky they haven't gotten to the fireworks yet. It is funny, maybe it's an age difference thing but every comment of theirs indicates that, in their minds, he's the bride and I'm the groom.