The Drop in Centre

[Solus Magus]

1 hour ago, Ryan Jones said:

I'm just English. I can kind of understand Dutch, can kinda read Dutch. Speaking it makes my throat hurt though.

I'm planning to study French. And I may or may not end up with a dozen tongue-bites for the next few months. Yikes.

[kbois]

Today was a bit of a roller coaster. It's been 5 years since my dad died. In those five years I've watched a couple of my brothers turn into idiots, I've dealt with being betrayed by my husband's asshole brother and had to watch my son go through hell. My mom has deteriorated to the point where she can't hold a conversation and barely remembers who I am. 

I mostly stayed positive today. On my drive home from work I thought about the good times with my dad, when my mom still had her memory, when my brothers and I had fun when we got together. I'm thankful my son has had more good days than bad lately. I'm looking forward to seeing my older boy and his girlfriend next weekend (not getting sad because they're leaving for Kansas the following weekend).

I'm grateful for my new job which challenges me. I remind myself I have a select few friends that have my back and I  can be completely myself with. I'm also grateful for a husband who puts up with my shit and loves me even when we argue. 

I feel like I'm heading in the right direction in my life. I have no clue where this ride is going, only that I'm going to hang on tight and scream with joy when hitting the highs and scream with rage when hurtling down the hills. 

Hope y'all have a good night!

[mollyhousemouse]

@kbois may i suggest a gratitude jar? it's been helpful for me & requires less effort than a gratitude journal.

and now goodnight Sirs & friends. i've been fighting a headache this evening & have been told it's early to bed.

i hope to see you tomorrow

[Ryan Jones]

Hello everyone. Happy Father's Day to the ones it applies to. My son, grandchildren and great grandchildren all called me this morning to say hello and Justin burned some breakfast so mine has been great!

I'd like to get your opinion on something.

When I was 12 this girl Patty decided her and I were going to have sex. At the time I had no idea about sex with guys, if you had asked I would have said I was only attracted to girls. Not that I thought about sex, in the early 1960s puberty wasn't as hurried as it now. Patty and I went to the library and sneaked into the "adult only" sections and read every book we could find on how to make the experience good for both. It was a little amusing in retrospect. There were whole chapters on how to make it better for the woman, much less for the man. Theory was great, how would it work in practice though?

November 22, 1963. A day that will live in infamy. Also the day I lost my virginity. We had been planning our sexual experience since late September but Patty's mother was always home when we got off school so no way to do it. This was the day JFK was assassinated and they let us out of school early. So her house was empty when we got there and off we went, like two rabbits. Her mother's schedule at work changed a week later. She was never at home now until 430pm so it was every school day that we "practiced" what we had learned.

On and on, puberty hit her first, then me in February of 1964. Condoms? Never heard of them. There was no sex education in the school and nobody bothered to mention to me anything about pregnancy. This was a fantastic time for a 12, then 13 year old boy. Quite literally I was getting all the sex I could handle. We didn't stop until a certain part of me refused to go on.

As a family we would visit relatives in NC every other weekend, leaving on Friday after work, coming back Sunday evening. It was in late May 1964 that we came back home and when I went to pick Patty up to walk to school on Monday her house was empty. All the furniture gone. She hadn't mentioned anything to me about it but hey, I was 13 and while I missed the sex, life went on.

At my 47th high school reunion we were talking about first sexual partners and I mentioned Patty. This woman overheard me and interjected with this line.

"She got pregnant at 13 and they moved"

So, there's the backstory, condensed as much as possible. Evidently my parents were never informed. Had they been I'm sure at some point once I became an adult they would have said something to me. Obviously I didn't know until a few years ago.

The question is, what do I do? Justin (boyfriend, soon to be husband) thinks I should attempt to find my kid and their family. I had told Justin about what I learned after the HS reunion, he didn't really say much about it at the time. I guess he's had time enough to think about it and formulate an opinion.

Can I find the kid? Probably yes but should I find them? I'm torn. Yes, I want to see them. I think it's an instinctual desire more than emotional.

I would do the DNA test kit, just to see if they had done it but that opens up another whole can of worms involving me and a group of lesbians in Charlotte in 1977.

What do you all think? 

[Kitt]

My two bits say let it ride. Had Patty and family wanted to tell you they would not have moved without saying anything. Granted at 12 Patty didn't have much to say in the matter, but she has long since grown up and not contacted you. The child could have been put up for adoption or been raised as Patty's sibling. If s/he wants to find you they will, but don't rock the apple cart. The child may be in their 50's now but may have no clue about the circumstances of their birth.

[kbois]

12 hours ago, mollyhousemouse said:

@kbois may i suggest a gratitude jar? it's been helpful for me & requires less effort than a gratitude journal.

and now goodnight Sirs & friends. i've been fighting a headache this evening & have been told it's early to bed.

i hope to see you tomorrow

I love this idea! Thanks molly.

[kbois]

3 hours ago, Ryan Jones said:

Hello everyone. Happy Father's Day to the ones it applies to. My son, grandchildren and great grandchildren all called me this morning to say hello and Justin burned some breakfast so mine has been great!

I'd like to get your opinion on something.

When I was 12 this girl Patty decided her and I were going to have sex. At the time I had no idea about sex with guys, if you had asked I would have said I was only attracted to girls. Not that I thought about sex, in the early 1960s puberty wasn't as hurried as it now. Patty and I went to the library and sneaked into the "adult only" sections and read every book we could find on how to make the experience good for both. It was a little amusing in retrospect. There were whole chapters on how to make it better for the woman, much less for the man. Theory was great, how would it work in practice though?

November 22, 1963. A day that will live in infamy. Also the day I lost my virginity. We had been planning our sexual experience since late September but Patty's mother was always home when we got off school so no way to do it. This was the day JFK was assassinated and they let us out of school early. So her house was empty when we got there and off we went, like two rabbits. Her mother's schedule at work changed a week later. She was never at home now until 430pm so it was every school day that we "practiced" what we had learned.

On and on, puberty hit her first, then me in February of 1964. Condoms? Never heard of them. There was no sex education in the school and nobody bothered to mention to me anything about pregnancy. This was a fantastic time for a 12, then 13 year old boy. Quite literally I was getting all the sex I could handle. We didn't stop until a certain part of me refused to go on.

As a family we would visit relatives in NC every other weekend, leaving on Friday after work, coming back Sunday evening. It was in late May 1964 that we came back home and when I went to pick Patty up to walk to school on Monday her house was empty. All the furniture gone. She hadn't mentioned anything to me about it but hey, I was 13 and while I missed the sex, life went on.

At my 47th high school reunion we were talking about first sexual partners and I mentioned Patty. This woman overheard me and interjected with this line.

"She got pregnant at 13 and they moved"

So, there's the backstory, condensed as much as possible. Evidently my parents were never informed. Had they been I'm sure at some point once I became an adult they would have said something to me. Obviously I didn't know until a few years ago.

The question is, what do I do? Justin (boyfriend, soon to be husband) thinks I should attempt to find my kid and their family. I had told Justin about what I learned after the HS reunion, he didn't really say much about it at the time. I guess he's had time enough to think about it and formulate an opinion.

Can I find the kid? Probably yes but should I find them? I'm torn. Yes, I want to see them. I think it's an instinctual desire more than emotional.

I would do the DNA test kit, just to see if they had done it but that opens up another whole can of worms involving me and a group of lesbians in Charlotte in 1977.

What do you all think? 

That's a tough one. I'd be torn too. I'd say give it a little bit of time and if you still feel that you're leaning toward finding them then go for it. 

[kbois]

To all the Dads and father figures!

[Reader1810]

35 minutes ago, kbois said:

That's a tough one. I'd be torn too. I'd say give it a little bit of time and if you still feel that you're leaning toward finding them then go for it. 

I’m with K on this. Thinking about it for a bit and mulling over the pros and cons to embarking on this type of search will bring you the answer you can live with, I believe.

Whatever you decide, good luck, Ryan. 

[spyke]

4 hours ago, Ryan Jones said:

Hello everyone. Happy Father's Day to the ones it applies to. My son, grandchildren and great grandchildren all called me this morning to say hello and Justin burned some breakfast so mine has been great!

I'd like to get your opinion on something.

When I was 12 this girl Patty decided her and I were going to have sex. At the time I had no idea about sex with guys, if you had asked I would have said I was only attracted to girls. Not that I thought about sex, in the early 1960s puberty wasn't as hurried as it now. Patty and I went to the library and sneaked into the "adult only" sections and read every book we could find on how to make the experience good for both. It was a little amusing in retrospect. There were whole chapters on how to make it better for the woman, much less for the man. Theory was great, how would it work in practice though?

November 22, 1963. A day that will live in infamy. Also the day I lost my virginity. We had been planning our sexual experience since late September but Patty's mother was always home when we got off school so no way to do it. This was the day JFK was assassinated and they let us out of school early. So her house was empty when we got there and off we went, like two rabbits. Her mother's schedule at work changed a week later. She was never at home now until 430pm so it was every school day that we "practiced" what we had learned.

On and on, puberty hit her first, then me in February of 1964. Condoms? Never heard of them. There was no sex education in the school and nobody bothered to mention to me anything about pregnancy. This was a fantastic time for a 12, then 13 year old boy. Quite literally I was getting all the sex I could handle. We didn't stop until a certain part of me refused to go on.

As a family we would visit relatives in NC every other weekend, leaving on Friday after work, coming back Sunday evening. It was in late May 1964 that we came back home and when I went to pick Patty up to walk to school on Monday her house was empty. All the furniture gone. She hadn't mentioned anything to me about it but hey, I was 13 and while I missed the sex, life went on.

At my 47th high school reunion we were talking about first sexual partners and I mentioned Patty. This woman overheard me and interjected with this line.

"She got pregnant at 13 and they moved"

So, there's the backstory, condensed as much as possible. Evidently my parents were never informed. Had they been I'm sure at some point once I became an adult they would have said something to me. Obviously I didn't know until a few years ago.

The question is, what do I do? Justin (boyfriend, soon to be husband) thinks I should attempt to find my kid and their family. I had told Justin about what I learned after the HS reunion, he didn't really say much about it at the time. I guess he's had time enough to think about it and formulate an opinion.

Can I find the kid? Probably yes but should I find them? I'm torn. Yes, I want to see them. I think it's an instinctual desire more than emotional.

I would do the DNA test kit, just to see if they had done it but that opens up another whole can of worms involving me and a group of lesbians in Charlotte in 1977.

What do you all think? 

I'm going to echo what @Kitt said and add a bit more to it. I think you should leave it alone. I know this is a condensed version, but all you know is that she became pregnant and her family moved. Other than that, a lot of the story is conjecture. Just because she was pregnant, doesn't mean she had a live birth. Also, Patty might have been experimenting with other boys at the time. Kids did that then and they do it now. You may not have even been the father. I believe that the child (if a child even exists) should be the one who initiates the search and makes contact if they want to make contact. I'm not saying this to upset you, but in reality, you've lived your life not knowing this until a couple of years ago. If there is a child involved, they've lived their entire life without you or your presence and you really have to ask if it is fair to totally upset and destroy the world as they have known it. As a father and grandfather, I'm sure that you always put kids first, and your own needs last. Don't change that now. 

[kbois]

Ugh....either my house is going to be destroyed or we're going to be overrun by flies. For whatever reason there seems to be a fly infestation on our lanai. We started seeing flies in the house mid-afternoon. Pretty sure they came in thru the dog door, which now has the guard on it. 

During supper we noticed at least 3 or 4 flying around. When I got back from taking my son to work the floor was littered with fly corpses. My husband had been busy killing them, hence the possible house destruction. We don't have a fly swatter so he smacks them with his hand. I'm picturing broken glass at some point. The dogs are scared because the smacking noise startles them. Zeke tries to catch them.... no success. 

Hubby read that hairspray makes it harder for them to fly. I just emptied half a can all over the inside of the house and in the two corners of the lanai where they were congregating on the screen. Lavender is supposed to repel them so I got a spray bottle and filled it with water and a liberal dose of lavender oil and sprayed around the doors inside and out. It seems to help. 

I feel like I'm stuck in a horror movie. 🪰☠

At least the house smells nice!

[Mikiesboy]

9 minutes ago, kbois said:

Ugh....either my house is going to be destroyed or we're going to be overrun by flies. For whatever reason there seems to be a fly infestation on our lanai. We started seeing flies in the house mid-afternoon. Pretty sure they came in thru the dog door, which now has the guard on it. 

During supper we noticed at least 3 or 4 flying around. When I got back from taking my son to work the floor was littered with fly corpses. My husband had been busy killing them, hence the possible house destruction. We don't have a fly swatter so he smacks them with his hand. I'm picturing broken glass at some point. The dogs are scared because the smacking noise startles them. Zeke tries to catch them.... no success. 

Hubby read that hairspray makes it harder for them to fly. I just emptied half a can all over the inside of the house and in the two corners of the lanai where they were congregating on the screen. Lavender is supposed to repel them so I got a spray bottle and filled it with water and a liberal dose of lavender oil and sprayed around the doors inside and out. It seems to help. 

I feel like I'm stuck in a horror movie. 🪰☠

At least the house smells nice!

Amazon ... Fly paper.

[Reader1810]

14 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

Amazon ... Fly paper.

They still sell that stuff? Wow, I thought it was just part of my childhood memories. 

[kbois]

22 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

Amazon ... Fly paper.

They can't deliver tonight. I have a feeling they'll be gone tomorrow. I left the outer lanai door open. Hopefully they'll get the hint. I also found instructions to make your own which I'm going to bookmark. 

I've discovered that Febreeze fabric spray sends them right to the ground. If one flies near.... a couple well timed sprays drops them to the floor. Then....SMACK!! 

Aw hell... I'm just gonna make a run to Home Depot for some stuff to kill them...

[spyke]

28 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

Amazon ... Fly paper.

Hairspray + Bic Lighter.... Fly flamethrower. LOL

[rickproehl]

39 minutes ago, spyke said:

Hairspray + Bic Lighter.... Fly flamethrower. LOL

have you seen that insurance commercial where the guy is doing that and he catches the bathroom on fire. 

[kbois]

2 minutes ago, rickproehl said:

have you seen that insurance commercial where the guy is doing that and he catches the bathroom on fire. 

That would be my house if my husband got hold of those two things!😅

As it is I feel a little like Rambo, armed with fly killer, rolled up magazine, Febreeze, lavender oil and a new fangled hanging fly trap that I baited with Agave nectar. 

[spyke]

1 hour ago, rickproehl said:

have you seen that insurance commercial where the guy is doing that and he catches the bathroom on fire. 

I just saw it. Too funny! 

 

 

[Solus Magus]

Happy Father's Day to the dads here!

[rickproehl]

Excuse me Good Sirs and DiC friends.

Just wanted to stop in and say ‘Good Morning’

Something positive to start your day.

“You have come a long way and have won many battles. Whenever you’re faced with a difficult or challenging situation, you’ll overcome it. Yes, you can.”

Roy T. Bennett

Have a wonderful day.

[mollyhousemouse]

good morning

this was in my affirmations today

 

[Wayne Gray]

Hello, all.

I hope everyone is doing well.

And ... I just wanted to say ...

@kbois's pride short is very well done. Seriously. You should all check it out and show it some love, because it genuinely deserves a look.

@Mikiesboy told me it was good, but it still impressed me.

 

Edited June 21, 2021 by Wayne Gray

[Mikiesboy]

3 minutes ago, Wayne Gray said:

Hello, all.

I hope everyone is doing well.

And ... I just wanted to say ...

@kbois's pride short is very well done. Seriously. You should all check it out and show it some love, because it genuinely deserves a look.

@Mikiesboy told me it was good, but it still impressed me.

 

It is BRILLIANT!  Totally.

[Reader1810]

21 minutes ago, Wayne Gray said:

And ... I just wanted to say ...

@kbois's pride short is very well done. Seriously. You should all check it out and show it some love, because it genuinely deserves a look.

17 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

It is BRILLIANT!  Totally.

With endorsements like these, I’m definitely going to read it.  

[kbois]

52 minutes ago, Wayne Gray said:

Hello, all.

I hope everyone is doing well.

And ... I just wanted to say ...

@kbois's pride short is very well done. Seriously. You should all check it out and show it some love, because it genuinely deserves a look.

@Mikiesboy told me it was good, but it still impressed me.

 

Thanks Wayne, but give yourself some credit too... your submission is pretty damn awesome. 

50 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

It is BRILLIANT!  Totally.

Thanks tim.

I was on the fence with this, but I'm happy with the positive feedback. So thanks for the encouragement!

I also need to give props to @MichaelS36. It was his little devil post that planted the seed in my brain. It ended up germinating while I was walking the mutts. Thirty minutes later I was on the laptop banging away at the keyboard like Kermit the Frog on his typewriter. 

Sometimes the little brain nuggets turn out to be real gold instead of pyrite. ☺