C James Posted January 22, 2007 Author Posted January 22, 2007 Is it an hard work to edit C James ?It seems to be when I listen what you said Hi Bob! In all seriousness, Editing is probably the hardest part of writing. I have tried editing, and I stink at it, but it gave me a much better understanding of what an Editor does. Emoe's comments make it sound easy. It isn't. In my opinion, it takes more skill to edit well than to write. To be fair, CJ is no harder than any of the other authors I work with. The need for "quiet time" is my own, not related to any difficulty of their writing. I just know how I work best. I almost made it through the entire chapter title without a blunder this time. Yup, made it as far as the second word!! To be serious (though I did goof in the title this time!) most pages of a chapter have some "red" in them when I get them back, either corrections of errors or wording suggestions. If I see several pages in a row without an error, I'm doing well. I still have a lot of work to do to improve in that regard, but I'm trying, and Emoe is a great teacher. When i get a chapter back, I go through it line by line, checking not just places Emoe has marked, but all of it. I then individually accept or reject the proposed change (over 95% get accepted) though I often add a bit too. I then save the document as a Different file name in a different directory: All Emoe's edited chapters stay in their own directory, just as he sent them, so I can keep them intact for future reference. (I refer back to them often). I think I've posted my process elsewhere but here is how I find works best for me: I need a stretch of uninterrupted time to review the story so I can hold the storyline in my head and then read the new chapter to keep the continuity flowing. I do minimal editing in this first read - it
Site Administrator Graeme Posted January 22, 2007 Site Administrator Posted January 22, 2007 If I see several pages in a row without an error, I'm doing well. I'm jealous. When I started, I used to looked for two consecutive PARAGRAPHS without red.... I'm getting better. I can sometimes have several paragraphs without red, but I haven't managed to get a page without red yet.
C James Posted January 22, 2007 Author Posted January 22, 2007 I'm jealous. When I started, I used to looked for two consecutive PARAGRAPHS without red.... I'm getting better. I can sometimes have several paragraphs without red, but I haven't managed to get a page without red yet. I should add that it is very rare for me to get sequential pages without red. In my first story (summer anthology) I even managed one and a half pages that were ENTIRELY red. LoL. Poor Emoe had to buy red ink by the barrel! I do actually make a lot of mistakes. My opinion is that my responsibility to catch mistakes and typos, so the Editor can focus on wording tweeks and other improvements. I'm a very long way from that yet, but I'm trying hard to get there. Also, I do have a very good Anonymous Beta Reader, Shdowgod, who catches some of my goofs before Emoe sees it. I did however conduct an experiment recently. Instead of just churning my way through a chapter and then going back to fix typos, spelling, punctuation, tenses, etc, I instead concentrated on making sure each sentence was right before writing the next. I think Emoe would have been very pleased with the lack of red ink. However, he would not have been pleased with the actual writing. I ended up with a page after page of single sentence paragraphs that was flat and dull. It also took me three times as long to write it. I deleted that chapter and started over (it was unsalvageable), going back to my "old" way. I also managed to bungle up capitalization in a few places in Ch 11, because I'd been trying to study punctuation while writing it, and had gotten a rule wrong. So, I went from not having a capitalization problem to having one. Oops.
shadowgod Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Also, I do have a very good Anonymous Beta Reader, Shdowgod, who catches some of my goofs before Emoe sees it. *edits to add* - catches some, adds others And my dear you have an Oxymoron in that statement... Alas, I know you're well aware of this. and are only using poor Emoe and I to further your own agenda of literary domination. Using us ususpecting smucks to give you glowing feedback and fine tune your subliminal messeging. :ranger: I'm onto your tricks.... Steve
C James Posted January 22, 2007 Author Posted January 22, 2007 *edits to add* - catches some, adds others No, no, adding errors is my job! LoL! Your job, as Anonymous Beta Reader, is to alert me to my many and varied goofs, plus offer ideas for wording, plot, etc. (Which, I might add, you are very good at, and this story is greatly improved thanks to your efforts). I'm the writer of FTL so mistakes are my domain! All mine, and I won't share!!! And my dear you have an Oxymoron in that statement... I do? I have no idea what it could be? Alas, I know you're well aware of this. and are only using poor Emoe and I to further your own agenda of literary domination. Using us unsuspecting smucks to give you glowing feedback and fine tune your subliminal messeging. :ranger: I'm onto your tricks.... Would I do such a thing as that?
C James Posted January 23, 2007 Author Posted January 23, 2007 Chapter 11, Bullet Riddled Body, is up. It is a little early, but I may well be offline until evening on Tuesday, so figured I'd put it up earlier rather than later.
Site Administrator Graeme Posted January 23, 2007 Site Administrator Posted January 23, 2007 The bullet-riddled body wasn't the jeep like I thought! It was C James's for ending with YET ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER!!! There is no evidence to suggest that it was an echidna that pulled trigger
Bondwriter Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Yes, another cliff-hanger, and the phrase Chris has grown to dread... Even the police is baffled, so thereaders don't fare much better. Still as exciting to read as always. One comment: why does the author have the full tale of events by Veronica, which is basically a summary of what we already know, and could have been summed up a bit, with the little extra info added as Chris' story does? Killer cops on the loose... Darn! Darn! I hope they don't harm our heroes, I'm starting to grow quite fond of Steve, Chris and their friends...
Low Flyer Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Earlier rather than later is always the best option! It can't be too soon. I'm afraid I don't have any deeply insightful comments to offer, but I can tell you that I'm loving this story - I like the characters you've created, and I want (need?) to know what happens to them. Thanks for what you've written so far - keep it coming. LF
captainrick Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Yes, another cliff-hanger, and the phrase Chris has grown to dread... Even the police is baffled, so thereaders don't fare much better. Still as exciting to read as always. One comment: why does the author have the full tale of events by Veronica, which is basically a summary of what we already know, and could have been summed up a bit, with the little extra info added as Chris' story does? Killer cops on the loose... Darn! Darn! I hope they don't harm our heroes, I'm starting to grow quite fond of Steve, Chris and their friends... I have to disagree with Bondwriter about Veronica. She tied several issues together for us. What she overheard the cops say seems important to me. What's up with these cops? The sheriff especially. Methinks this is going WAAAAAAYYY beyond homophobia, or running the queers outta town. There were SEVERAL holes in the Jeep. These boys REALLY need to stay away from Piedmont! I still have to think that this is somehow connected to Eric and the data thingy. C'mon Dex! Do your computer magic! Help us figure this thing out! Rick
EMoe57 Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Chapter 11, Bullet Riddled Body, is up. Oh, look
Bondwriter Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 I have to disagree with Bondwriter about Veronica. She tied several issues together for us. What she overheard the cops say seems important to me. One can't be praising all the time. I agree: she adds some extra info, but to me it sounded a bit like "The Show So Far", and this could be an opportunity to have Veronica's voice heard louder. What's up with these cops? The sheriff especially. Methinks this is going WAAAAAAYYY beyond homophobia, or running the queers outta town. There were SEVERAL holes in the Jeep. These boys REALLY need to stay away from Piedmont! I still have to think that this is somehow connected to Eric and the data thingy. C'mon Dex! Do your computer magic! Help us figure this thing out!Rick Yeah, the whole "Dex has to wait before he goes to California and figure it out" gets me rather nervous. Are you over that ending yet? I think it has been used enough
Jack Frost Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 OK! Nice chapter...and it was longer than the last one. So I'm happy, but... YO! What's up with that cliffhanger at the end of the chapter? C'mon, we have enough of those in bunch of stories in GA. I hope that sheriff's ass is grass for chasing you, for shooting you and not reporting it, and for making a fasle statement to go after you. And James...tell me, are Lonesome Valley and Pietmont in the same county or not? I'm confused...since where I come from in Pennsylvania, a sheriff would be the police of the whole county police department...not a local one.
Site Administrator Graeme Posted January 23, 2007 Site Administrator Posted January 23, 2007 I've been thinking a bit and I'm afraid I have to offer what I consider to be a small criticism (and a correction to my earlier post). I'm sure other readers will disagree with me. The ending is not really a cliff-hanger. To me, a cliff-hanger is a build-up to a situation that is then left unresolved. In this case, all CJ has done is to effectively say 'wait, there's more!' For a cliff-hanger, you could speculate on what is going to happen or wonder about different scenarios that would explain things. The ending he's done here, while mildly amusing because of the repetition of the phrase, gives absolutely no clues as to what is about to happen. It is just a statement that there is more bad news to come. As such, I have to admit that I found it annoying. It doesn't do the job of building up tension (which is, I believe, one the purposes of using a cliff-hanger) but is simply a hook to request that the readers stay tuned for more -- something that only works for a serialised story. My personal view is if a writer does this too often, I get turned off. It makes me feel that the author things I'm an idiot and that I need this petty trick to keep reading. C James is NOT at that stage yet, but I'm hoping he doesn't do this too many more times, or too often, because it WILL turn me off the story and make me wait until the story is finished before I read the rest. What do others think? Am I out on a limb by myself on this one? (It wouldn't be the first time )
old bob Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 (edited) Hey CJ. Nice gift I just came home from work (it's 9 pm) and discovered your chapter. Now i have the pleasure to I will comment later. Take care (in the snowstorm or in the drought ?) Edited January 23, 2007 by old bob
Bondwriter Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 What do others think? Am I out on a limb by myself on this one? (It wouldn't be the first time ) As I said above: I don't know what I would think if I read the story in one stretch, but as a fixture in a serial, if it happens three or four times, it's rather funny. Maybe CJames will have to rewrite a few transition lines once he has the thing posted for people to read as a whole, but it doesn't bother me at the moment since he's posting it as a weekly serial. I love pulp and serials, and part of the charm (to me) lies in the clich
C James Posted January 23, 2007 Author Posted January 23, 2007 Yes, another cliff-hanger, and the phrase Chris has grown to dread... Even the police is baffled, so thereaders don't fare much better. Still as exciting to read as always. One comment: why does the author have the full tale of events by Veronica, which is basically a summary of what we already know, and could have been summed up a bit, with the little extra info added as Chris' story does? Killer cops on the loose... Darn! Darn! I hope they don't harm our heroes, I'm starting to grow quite fond of Steve, Chris and their friends... Those are good points, and I was concerned about the repetition myself, which is why Chris' part was so abbreviated. I probably could have found a way to trim Veronica's part a little more. What I had to convey there was her side of the story (such as how she came to be able to intercept Steve), the very critical info that there are a few of the Piedmont PD involved, and a few other bits and how they related. Ch 12 contains more about the situation, enough to make most of it (Regarding the Piedmont PD) crystal clear. Earlier rather than later is always the best option! It can't be too soon. I'm afraid I don't have any deeply insightful comments to offer, but I can tell you that I'm loving this story - I like the characters you've created, and I want (need?) to know what happens to them. Thanks for what you've written so far - keep it coming. LF Thank you Low Flyer!!! I have to disagree with Bondwriter about Veronica. She tied several issues together for us. What she overheard the cops say seems important to me. What's up with these cops? The sheriff especially. Methinks this is going WAAAAAAYYY beyond homophobia, or running the queers outta town. There were SEVERAL holes in the Jeep. These boys REALLY need to stay away from Piedmont! I still have to think that this is somehow connected to Eric and the data thingy. C'mon Dex! Do your computer magic! Help us figure this thing out!Rick Thanks Rick!!! I do agree that they need to stay out of Piedmont. The question is, will they? Oh, look
Site Administrator Graeme Posted January 23, 2007 Site Administrator Posted January 23, 2007 Maybe CJames will have to rewrite a few transition lines once he has the thing posted for people to read as a whole, but it doesn't bother me at the moment since he's posting it as a weekly serial. I love pulp and serials, and part of the charm (to me) lies in the clich
shadowgod Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 I don't have much to add... While yes reading the line 'Guys we have a problem...' makes my skin crawl (Only cuase in the end My theories of Mr. Williams being behind the whole thing will be proven.) Im looking forward to the moment when at last He shows up pounding on the door interrupting whatever our friends may or maynot find themselves doing half dressed, and uttering the line 'Guys we have a problem... there isnt enough beer.'
Altimexis Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Boy, I take the time to do something as unimportant as going in to work, and the other posters have left me in the dust. Basically, I agree with everything that's been said. I think that Veronica's recounting the story was fine as written, and I think CJ mentioned crossing the county line multiple times. I also think he referred to the towns as county seats, so I really don't think he needs to change anything with respect to these aspects of the story. Graeme is right about the ending - too trite. Now for the seriousness of the police chase and the bullet riddled body, I think we're way past homophobia. I think the whole thing with the church demonizing the boys and everything that has been associated with that so far is nothing more than a smoke screen. The real reason is on that data stick. Just how a 14-year-old Eric fits into it all is curious, however. I'm thinking that if he could blackmail his brother and his brother's boyfriend, perhaps he's blackmailing the Piedmont police or a relative of the sheriff. Perhaps whatever's on that data stick must be pretty damaging to the sheriff - perhaps proof of taking bribes?
C James Posted January 24, 2007 Author Posted January 24, 2007 (edited) I think it reads fine both ways. In fact, I think the last few chapters read better all at once than as a serial. You've been building up tension, but the break between reading chapters caused by the posting delay disrupts that. If someone came through and read it all in one shot they'll get a strong impact. Thanks!! I don't have much to add... While yes reading the line 'Guys we have a problem...' makes my skin crawl (Only cuase in the end My theories of Mr. Williams being behind the whole thing will be proven.) Im looking forward to the moment when at last He shows up pounding on the door interrupting whatever our friends may or maynot find themselves doing half dressed, and uttering the line 'Guys we have a problem... there isnt enough beer.' ROFL!!!!!!!!! That wouldn't be a problem, it would be a catastrophe! Boy, I take the time to do something as unimportant as going in to work, and the other posters have left me in the dust. Basically, I agree with everything that's been said. I think that Veronica's recounting the story was fine as written, and I think CJ mentioned crossing the county line multiple times. I also think he referred to the towns as county seats, so I really don't think he needs to change anything with respect to these aspects of the story. Graeme is right about the ending - too trite. Thanks Altimexis! I am in agreement with you and Graeme on the ending. I won't do it that way again. It is, however, perhaps possible that I may have another cliffhanger at some point. Hey CJ.Nice gift I just came home from work (it's 9 pm) and discovered your chapter. Now i have the pleasure to I will comment later. Take care (in the snowstorm or in the drought ?) Thanks Bob!!!!!!! Had some snow here (a few days ago), but not enough yet, so still a drought. Edited January 24, 2007 by C James
shadowgod Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 *edits to add* - catches some, adds others And my dear you have an Oxymoron in that statement... Alas, I know you're well aware of this. and are only using poor Emoe and I to further your own agenda of literary domination. Using us unsuspecting smucks to give you glowing feedback and fine tune your subliminal messaging. :ranger: I'm onto your tricks.... Steve Adding to the tricky goat conspiracy... ... Have you ever stopped and asked yourself why this story is set in Lonsome Valley?? --Sits back and waits for the appearance of the BLUE RIDGE-- :ranger: Steve
C James Posted January 24, 2007 Author Posted January 24, 2007 Adding to the tricky goat conspiracy... ... Have you ever stopped and asked yourself why this story is set in Lonesome Valley?? --Sits back and waits for the appearance of the BLUE RIDGE-- :ranger: I'll give a hint... I had some other names under consideration for their home town: Dry Valley was one of 'em.
Conner Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Ok, I'm actually going to get serious here for a moment.....but just a moment. I'd like to hear from you on the use of the sexual content disclaimer. Do all stories here at GA have to have a disclaimer? Does it add or take away from the story? Further, what's the effect of adding an additional warning, in bold, as CJ did for chapters 7 and 8? Why use the verb 'may' in the bold warning? CJ's disclaimer and warning are shown below. Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living, dead, space aliens, goats, or others are purely coincidental. There may be sexual content so if this, in any form, offends you, please cease reading. Also, if you are not of legal age to read this, please don't. WARNING! This chapter may contain descriptions of sexual acts. Personnally, from here on in, I'm only reading chapters that have the warning. Conner
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